• SomeCoder (unregistered) in reply to Dazed
    Dazed:
    What a bunch of defeatists. I've walked into a position that wasn't a whole lot better than this. Within three months (with considerable help from a couple of people who joined about the same time, and a fair bit of hindrance from a couple of jerks in the IT department) I'd turned it round. It wasn't paradise, but things were starting to function.

    Sometimes it's possible to fix situations like this, sometimes it's not. But people who give up on the first day are just spoiled brats.

    You've probably had different experiences than me with fixing things but I've found that when trying to implement change like this, management comes to view you as "not a team player" and a "troublemaker". After all, who are you, the new guy, to tell them that their processes aren't optimum?

    I guess sometimes it can work out, it just hasn't ever for me.

  • (cs) in reply to Rance Mohanitz
    Rance Mohanitz:
    If you're living in the middle of the Midwest, and the best job you can find is an hour away for crap wages, you're not going to turn around and walk out of the interview. You're going to hold onto that job like it was an infant, and hope like hell that you don't lose it, craptastic boss or not.
    Your explanation might be true. However, in this story, it's so obvious that Amanda should have walked out the door immediately. So the story's lack of any explanation of why she didn't is a glaring omission. If she gave her notice, or she stuck around to fix things, or she had to stay because no other job was available, then that should have been part of the story.
  • DKO (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    The REAL WTF is still that she didn't walk out the second she found about these "practices". It's only going to hurt her resume longterm - trust me from experience having worked at similar places :(

    Indeed. I doubt other companies that could potentially hire her in the near future (very near, I don't think they will continue in business for too long) wouldn't know about the... erm... "eccentric" processes employed there. The more she stays there, more tainted she is. She shouldn't even mention her current job on her resume. Better say you spent this time doing drugs, killing babies and such.

  • Jeanne P. (unregistered) in reply to Outlaw Programmer
    Outlaw Programmer:
    ...you'd have to fire tons of incompetent developers and painfully try to recruit fresh talent. Here, they just need to get rid of that one Luddite and they're all set; they could have a proper network setup in a day.

    You actually think they'd have competent developers working at a place like that?

  • Anonymously Yours (unregistered)

    You know, a well-placed "Virus Alert" email about viruses spread through USB firmware would probably lead to the Development Manager crippling the company. Once it was his turn on the Email PC, that is.

  • Winslow Theramin (unregistered)

    This story just doesn't pass the smell test. Most of these "Daily WTF" sound about as true as letters to Penthouse Forum.

  • Dazed (unregistered) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    You've probably had different experiences than me with fixing things but I've found that when trying to implement change like this, management comes to view you as "not a team player" and a "troublemaker". After all, who are you, the new guy, to tell them that their processes aren't optimum?

    I guess sometimes it can work out, it just hasn't ever for me.

    Sure, some managers are hopeless cases - I don't deny that. But techies often shoot themselves in the foot by either going in and shouting that everything is a mess (I plead guilty to having done it myself when I was young and green) or by changing things unilaterally. Getting things changed nearly always requires gentle massage* over a period of time, and getting the manager used to the idea that things can be improved. It generally takes at least a few weeks to know whether you have a chance of success.

    • Figuratively, guys, figuratively!
  • Julio (unregistered)

    This company should be dead in less than a year.

  • JUST ANOTHER WTF (unregistered) in reply to CrazyBomber
    CrazyBomber:
    dlikhten:
    1. Criminals can steal computers from the office 2. Criminals are bad 3. Computers are bad Solution: All coding is to be done on paper, all compilations by hand, all will be transferred to a computer by a mainframe operator with top-secret security clearance and all papers shredded. All employees will be given a full-body cavity search for papers upon exiting.

    For simplicity of process, the operators will use a specially designed keyboard for this task, having only 2 keys: '0' and '1'.

    Why make a special keyboard... mainframes have had toggle switches for YEARS

  • (cs) in reply to Lyle's Daddy
    Lyle's Daddy:
    I have to eat the seeds from the tree, poop them into the soil and THEN grow my own tree to make my own paper. Hah!
    with me as $DEITY do
  1. Density fluctuation in quantum foam.
  2. BIG bang !
  3. ????
  4. Self-replicating molecules.
  5. ????
  6. Evolution...
  7. ????
  8. Trees.
    (Some processes need more than four steps and more than one ????).

    Your turn...

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    In this particular case it would be very handy to know the real name of the company so I can avoid its products with a 1000' pole.

  • Pete (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    Lyle:
    I have the same situation. Only when I want to print a memo, I have to make my own paper. 
    --Lyle
    If you're gonna do something, at least go all the way..

    I have to grow my own trees to make my own paper...

    .. I have to evolve my own trees from single-celled organisms.

    .. I have to figure out a way of promoting abiogenesis in a sample of dirt.

    .. I have to create my own universe to get my own dirt.

    .. I have to ... huh. Not sure what comes here.

  • (cs) in reply to Dazed
    Dazed:
    yo joe:
    brettdavis4:
    If this story is true, it is hard to tell which is the bigger wtf.
    1. The IT in the office
    2. Not walking out the door on the first day.
    More like walk out within the first hour.
    What a bunch of defeatists. I've walked into a position that wasn't a whole lot better than this. Within three months (with considerable help from a couple of people who joined about the same time, and a fair bit of hindrance from a couple of jerks in the IT department) I'd turned it round. It wasn't paradise, but things were starting to function.

    Sometimes it's possible to fix situations like this, sometimes it's not. But people who give up on the first day are just spoiled brats.

    And somtimes you are not able to turn things around. Nine times out of ten, a person won't be able to change things around.

    It sounds like you got a job where the organization wanted to change things and hired people to make the changes.

    The OP had to report to someone who created these moronic policies. This means the OP would need to get the buy in from the supervisor and from the people in upper management. The OP's supervisor probably won't allow these changes to be made because it would make him/her look like an idiot for not making the changes sooner.

    The OP would be better to leave ASAP then to stick around for months or years and not accomplish anything.

  • Jordan (unregistered)

    Sounds terrible, but here's the situation I've been slowly correcting... The IT Manager before me thought it would be a bad thing for employees to install their own software. So every PC in the building has:

    No CD-ROM drive. No Floppy drive. Disabled USB ports. Disabled parallel ports. Disabled serial ports.

    The first time I found this out was troubleshooting a UPS machine. The scale wouldn't work. Why wouldn't it work? The serial port was disable in the BIOS. I found this over and over again.

  • (cs) in reply to brettdavis4
    brettdavis4:

    And somtimes you are not able to turn things around. Nine times out of ten, a person won't be able to change things around.

    It sounds like you got a job where the organization wanted to change things and hired people to make the changes.

    The OP had to report to someone who created these moronic policies. This means the OP would need to get the buy in from the supervisor and from the people in upper management. The OP's supervisor probably won't allow these changes to be made because it would make him/her look like an idiot for not making the changes sooner.

    The OP would be better to leave ASAP then to stick around for months or years and not accomplish anything.

    Very true. Think of it this way: If the company wanted to change (i.e. they realized what they were doing was stupid) then they would have done it long ago. The fact that things were, and are, as they are means that nobody knows WTF is going on, or how things should be run, which means that anyone who points out its flaws isn't a "team player" and probably would be let go - this is why things haven't changed; anyone who tried to change it would have been fired.

    These situations are NEVER good to be in - you end up with a stretch of time on your resume where you did nothing but maintain bullshit, and that makes you undesirable to other companies.

  • GOD (unregistered) in reply to snoofle

    @snoofle

    oh yeah, well, I had to invent the universe first.

  • some guy (unregistered)

    Hackers are bad... Employees can be Hackers! FIRE ALL EMPLOYEES!

  • jbinaz (unregistered) in reply to anon
    anon:
    What a load of Bull Shit! If anyone that reads this and believes this should do a barrel roll!

    I would, but my plane's in the shop. :(

  • (cs) in reply to jtl
    jtl:
    1. Criminals can enter buildings through doors. 2. Criminals are bad. 3. Doors are bad.

    We shall remove all doors to protect the business.

    I think you also forgot:

    1. Criminals can enter buildings through windows.
    2. Criminals are bad.
    3. Windows are bad.

    We shall remove all windows to protect the business.

  • Tony (unregistered) in reply to jtl
    jtl:
    1. Criminals can enter buildings through doors. 2. Criminals are bad. 3. Doors are bad.

    We shall remove all doors to protect the business.

    Not good enough!

    We shall remove all buildings with doors to protect the business.

  • dman (unregistered)

    LOL - So I take it your boss has not heard of Network Magic? To him, it'll solve the world's problems.

  • Adama (unregistered)

    Networks also are vulnerable to Cylon attacks.

  • oppeto (unregistered)

    Does anyone know if these people wrote websites for the Oklahoma DOC or keep a list of Federal Suppliers ???

  • (cs) in reply to CrazyBomber
    CrazyBomber:
    For simplicity of process, the operators will use a specially designed keyboard for this task, having only 2 keys: '0' and '1'.
    You only need one key. Just treat the times when the key isn't being pressed as being zeroes. And don't forget to arrange for holes in the file to be written overnight; you don't want to have to stay after hours with your finger on the key!
  • hahaha (unregistered)

    "Just when I thought you couldn't possibly get any dumber... you go, and TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!"

  • disfunct (unregistered)

    It never ceases to amaze me that there are companies like this. They are in business, selling products to actual customers, and making money. Mind boggling.

  • (cs)

    You say you have no network, yet you describe one perfectly.

    Although it has been a while since I've worked in an office with sneakernet.

  • gridboy (unregistered)

    Ahhh, I worked on the Galactica, too!

  • Scott (unregistered) in reply to jtl
    1. Hackers are people.
    2. Hackers are bad.
    3. Shot everyone.
  • Chris (unregistered)

    Well, at least they'll be safe when the Cylons attack.

  • Bob (unregistered)

    You know, some of these are pretty dang ridiculous. If this is for real, a greater WTF is that Amanda didn't ask any questions during the interview about the working environment, or finds herself so incompetent that she can't find a job elsewhere and needs to stay and take it. Or, maybe, she just likes a challenge?

  • Manic Mailman (unregistered) in reply to Winslow Theramin
    Winslow Theramin:
    This story just doesn't pass the smell test. Most of these "Daily WTF" sound about as true as letters to Penthouse Forum.

    Indeed - how can a company have a web app as the product they develop and sell without having a network?

  • The real Mr. Funk (unregistered)

    If half of that is true, not only is it a "quit immediately with hysterical laughter" situation, that's so bad the company should be named publicly so nobody ever applies there again.

  • Unbelievable (unregistered)

    Sorry, the only WTF in this story is that you still work there.

    I would say that 99% of those on this list would be with me in saying I wouldn't have lasted the first day.

  • Dude (unregistered) in reply to disfunct
    disfunct:
    It never ceases to amaze me that there are companies like this. They are in business, selling products to actual customers, and making money. Mind boggling.

    Don't you mean "mind bottling?"

  • The Fake WTF (unregistered)

    I was tempted to tell him that having so many people in the same room was bound to help spread any viruses that might be going around but I thought the irony might be lost on him. Or that he'd sack me.

    You say that as if it wouldn't be worth it...

  • Dennis (unregistered)

    Networks? USB drives? Ha!

    Submit your deck of punched cards to the sysop and your greenbar will be in your department's bin tomorrow morning. Errors in the left stack and program output on the right.

    And no whining.

  • Jon W (unregistered)

    I work in China on the fabrication of structural steel. Our fabricator has system(?!?) Just as described here.

    What is worse is their project management. The IT management is senseless but their project management/people management is purely absurd. These people are only making money because of cheap labour if they had to compete one on one with a company from a developed nation they would fold in the first 3 months.

  • Sanity (unregistered)

    Ok, I have to say it...

    Many things are wrong with that picture, but what sticks out the worst is that their paranoia has actually made them LESS secure.

    USB sticks are no more secure than copying things around a network. Do USB sticks ever leave the office, though? If so, there's a hole that wouldn't be there with simple filesharing.

    The dedicated PC for each task is what gets me, though. Instead of letting everyone have email on their own PC -- so if someone gets pwned, they only lose their own email -- they force everyone to use the same PC for email. Thus, if that PC gets pwned, no one can use email.

    Same with everything else -- and it wouldn't necessarily be a virus. A single disk crash on the "software notebook", if I'm not mistaken, would completely stop development until a new disk arrived, and set it back three months (due to lack of a backup procedure).

    There's not much more to say here. Given that she's a Manager of some sort, you'd hope she has at least some authority to change this... But I'm hoping that, at the very least, wording this as a security improvement should help.

  • (cs)

    This is just like on the Gala.... wait, maybe somebody did this one already. I'll go back and read the threat to check.

  • pete sneeze (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    Lyle:
    I have the same situation. Only when I want to print a memo, I have to make my own paper.

    --Lyle

    If you're gonna do something, at least go all the way..

    I have to grow my own trees to make my own paper...

    Trees??? you were lucky!

  • Desipis (unregistered)

    Just wait till they realize you can transmit virus through files on a USB key...

  • (cs) in reply to anonymous coward
    anonymous coward:
    Well, obviously a door makes it harder to enter a house than just a hole in the wall.

    While a network makes it easier.

    Dude, look! It's Amanda's DM!

  • (cs)

    Users open viruses with mice. Viruses are bad. Mice are bad.

    Hackers write viruses with keyboards. Hackers are bad. Keyboards are bad.

    Viruses show errors on monitors. Viruses are bad. Monitors are bad.

    Viruses reside on hard drives. Viruses are bad. Hard drives are bad.

    It's like the evolution of computers in reverse!

    Guuk's tribe raid Uhg's tribe with cart on wheels. Guuk's tribe bad. Wheel bad.

  • Bubba Hub (unregistered)

    So how long have you been working at Microsoft?

  • Danny (unregistered)

    Please tell me this is a joke, for the love of god please tell me this is a joke.

    I COULD NOT work in that kind of environment who ever is at the top of the food chain needs to be educated about lost productivity and their current practices.

  • grammer nazi (unregistered) in reply to Scott
    Scott:
    1. Hackers are people. 2. Hackers are bad. 3. Shot everyone.
    1. Typos are bad. 2. You made a typo. 3. Shoot everyone.
  • (cs) in reply to Pete
    Pete:
    snoofle:
    Lyle:
    I have the same situation. Only when I want to print a memo, I have to make my own paper. 
    --Lyle
    If you're gonna do something, at least go all the way..

    I have to grow my own trees to make my own paper...

    .. I have to evolve my own trees from single-celled organisms.

    .. I have to figure out a way of promoting abiogenesis in a sample of dirt.

    .. I have to create my own universe to get my own dirt.

    .. I have to ... huh. Not sure what comes here.

    I have to think up my own concept of existence. I have to develop my own form of thought. I have to prevent the formation of any new types of thought development and destroy any entity which considers the task of forming one.

  • max (unregistered)

    To be fair, the security philosophy of 'networks are bad' is what saved Galactica in the initial Cylon attack on the colonies.

  • Anon Barbarzyńca (unregistered) in reply to grammer nazi
    grammer nazi:
    Scott:
    1. Hackers are people. 2. Hackers are bad. 3. Shot everyone.
    1. Typos are bad. 2. You made a typo. 3. Shoot everyone.
    1. This almost looks
    2. Like a haiku
    3. But I can't be bothered to count the syllables. Refrigerator.

Leave a comment on “Overdue Retirement”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article