• (cs)

    "Service Oriented Architecture." Yeah, I'm working on a Service Oriented Enterprise Message Bus. a.k.a, it reads XML messages and does some simple translations before sending them down the line. God I need a new job.

  • Not me (unregistered)

    How much are you willing to bet that, after this project fails, the devs will point back to it as an example for why using source control is bad and fundamentally flawed?

  • (cs)

    wait, he had to write a service oriented architecture? He couldn't use the one that has already been defined and code a service following that architecture? He had to create a brand new one from scratch? The whole architecture?

    I wish I could get the chance to do something that would drastically change the entire industry as we know it.

  • SomeCoder (unregistered)

    Solutions Engineer - we had that title at a job I had several years ago. I was officially a Solutions Engineer... whatever TF that meant :)

    Said company is gone now and I'm not at all surprised.

  • Island Usurper (unregistered)

    I appreciate the "seriously" attribute on the blink tag.

    But what does Dan say when he hears, "No, you broke it"?

  • Martin (unregistered)

    At one of my co-op jobs in university, I didn't have a job title but one of the evaluation forms was asking for one. I asked my boss what my title was, and he said that I could choose it.

    • Martin, High Priest of the 6th Circle.
  • (cs) in reply to Martin
    Martin:
    At one of my co-op jobs in university, I didn't have a job title but one of the evaluation forms was asking for one. I asked my boss what my title was, and he said that I could choose it.
    • Martin, High Priest of the 6th Circle.
    bows
  • Greg D (unregistered)

    The real wtf is--

    Oh, wait, it's already in the article. Forget it.

  • blah (unregistered)

    Fist!!!!!!!!!!! Wait....

    The real WTF is, the entire code block...

    Are people this insane really walking around?

  • (cs)

    As soon as I saw those filenames, I was reminded of the developmestuction article that appeared on this site about 1.5 years ago.

  • (cs)

    At any other job, I would've been laughing until I cried at the job title thing, but now that does not surprise me at all anymore, especially when I work with people now who give themselves titles such as "Infrastructure Delivery Management Systems Manager." I want to cry... :(

  • (cs) in reply to Island Usurper
    Island Usurper:
    But what does Dan say when he hears, "No, you broke it"?
    Trevor: "See? It's here in the source control log." Dan: "No, you broke it. You made us use source control." --RA
  • Thomas (unregistered) in reply to Martin
    Martin:
    At one of my co-op jobs in university, I didn't have a job title but one of the evaluation forms was asking for one. I asked my boss what my title was, and he said that I could choose it.
    • Martin, High Priest of the 6th Circle.

    Lol, nice tittle. :-P

  • MadKat (unregistered)

    <blink seriously="why does any browser support this any more?!?!">Obnoxiously</blink>

    Fantastic.

    CAPTCHA - pirates Yaaaaar!

  • (cs) in reply to Martin
    Martin:
    At one of my co-op jobs in university, I didn't have a job title but one of the evaluation forms was asking for one. I asked my boss what my title was, and he said that I could choose it.
    • Martin, High Priest of the 6th Circle.

    Oh so you're the guy. Did you ever get my request for promotion? My old nameplate is looking old and I hear the only way to get a new one is to get a new title.

  • (cs)

    "And, since the company now had source control, Trevor could view the file's history, and discovered that the last person to edit the file in weeks was Dan."

    And Trevor wondered why they didn't want source control? That's why - source control makes passing the buck harder.

  • F (unregistered)

    Um, why is the RSS borked?

  • Some Takes One To Know One Guy (unregistered) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    The Failure Article:
    Trevor could tell that he was working with an expert team of engineers and solutionologists based on the way they talked. "We're going to leverage JavaScript interfaces, compartmentalizing and segmenting variables with integrated XML driven frameworks, all compiled with forward momentum." He'd also grown suspicious that some of the acronyms his colleagues used were made up on the spot. "The ID isn't even part of the XML DTD. Can you drop a PLC on the OC ASAP 4ME?"

    Anybody else think that software development is really a "takes one to know one" kind of field?

    That is, no matter what jargon-laden BS somebody drops about software development, I've found the following to be true:

    • After 2 minutes, I have a good hint about the capability of the person
    • After 5 minutes, I'm certain about the capability of the person
    • After 10 minutes, I'm certain if they've reached their peak capability, or are simply inexperienced and improving.

    There's just something about manipulating and describing abstract concepts; you can't bullshit your way through math and logic; if you could, it would be called liberal arts instead of natural science.

    Fortunately, I find this comes in very handy during a job interview. If they bring a competent developer to the technical interview, I know I'll get the job. If they bring an incompetent developer to the technical interview, I know I don't want to work there. :-)

  • (cs)

    TRWTF is that Trevor is still working there...?

  • (cs)

    My resume is titled "Technology Specialist" which is sufficiently vague, yet encapsulates the idea of 'a broad range of experience' (software, hardware, language, wishware).

  • (cs)

    My title has changed often while I've been with this company; as often, in fact, as the changes in management.

    Technical Engineer Solutions Developer Senior Software Developer Software Developer (under the then-new management, there were to be no "seniors" or "juniors") Software Engineer

    Round trip; I'm back to being an engineer. Whatever the title, I write software.

  • (cs)

    Too much build-up for such a bad punch line. I swear I thought that the manager with the Title: "Supreme Commander Of The Universe" would come out and tell them that they no longer needed programmers but instead needed only creative solution engineers with a side-job of abstract thinker and that our "hero" had a chance to rename his title to something instead of programmer... Two days after which the "solution engeneers" designed a brilliant system in which 1 == 1 returned false.

  • deborahgsmith (unregistered)

    Even better than the blink tag: (Please ... Alex ... get rid of that!!)

    "Note: for faster survey processing, please print out this survey and mail to:"

    You just know I almost printed it out just to take a picture of it on a table and send it in ...

  • Everett (unregistered)

    I work with Trevor and we're getting a real kick out of these replies.

    If anyone wants or needs more info on this wtf, please feel free to ask any questions and we'll answer them.

  • Everett (unregistered) in reply to Strider
    Strider:
    TRWTF is that Trevor is still working there...?

    Trevor is actively seeking new employment.

  • Trevor. (unregistered) in reply to Strider

    Yes. I do currently still work for this place, and I am doing the best I can to find a way out.

    someone shoot me.

  • Everett (unregistered)

    As for the titles, Dan's current title is Technical and Creative Solutions Manager

  • joeSchmoe (unregistered)

    Now that Trevor has implemented source control, why not go for code reviews next?

    Mine would go something like this: Hey Dan... how fing ignorant can one ass be? What the f!!! Are you trying to save money on a code obfuscator? You are a stupid sumbitch who should call .Finalize() on his fing career in software fckupmanship.

    [Slaps Dan]

    Later beeyoch. I quit!!!

  • Mike (unregistered)

    Aahh ... sounds very much like a place I used to work (only bigger). When I left, they were still using the 'fileshare' source control method. I only made the mistake once of not keeping my own copy of source code (and thus losing about 2 days work when someone overwrote it).

    They also didn't believe in doing development on databases which weren't live ... which made for interesting times!

  • Odders (unregistered)

    Hey, don't ever force me to look at a pseudo-blink tag ever again. It isn't necessary, and it's the last thing I want to see in the morning.

  • barfman (unregistered) in reply to Some Takes One To Know One Guy
    Some Takes One To Know One Guy:
    The Failure Article:
    Trevor could tell that he was working with an expert team of engineers and solutionologists based on the way they talked. "We're going to leverage JavaScript interfaces, compartmentalizing and segmenting variables with integrated XML driven frameworks, all compiled with forward momentum." He'd also grown suspicious that some of the acronyms his colleagues used were made up on the spot. "The ID isn't even part of the XML DTD. Can you drop a PLC on the OC ASAP 4ME?"

    Anybody else think that software development is really a "takes one to know one" kind of field?

    That is, no matter what jargon-laden BS somebody drops about software development, I've found the following to be true:

    • After 2 minutes, I have a good hint about the capability of the person
    • After 5 minutes, I'm certain about the capability of the person
    • After 10 minutes, I'm certain if they've reached their peak capability, or are simply inexperienced and improving.

    In 10 minutes you can judge the experience of someone... Well, just as long as it is specific to your specialty and that of the company. I've known people who were hired by smart-ass managers who would give out unusually tricky recursion problems when the code work never even came close to it. Then this particular person who is a whiz at these particular problems is scratching their head when hit full-on with a bulk of dynamic sql work. :P

    It's not always about how well-made the shoe is.. The shoe better fit.

  • (cs) in reply to FredSaw

    At my last job, we actually had interdepartmental title-wars (though no one outside of InfoTech, knew the war was on). We'd see a title from Operations like 

    Quality Assurance and Safety Training Manager
    (which wrapped over two lines on a business card) and decided to top it with 
    Website Services Quality Assurance and
Passenger Reseravation Systems Testing and Training
Senior Administrative Assistant
    (four lines)

    We also opted for the shortest (abbreviated) title for one of our staff, 

    I^3
    ('I' cubed; "Internet Information Integrator").

    Ahhh, good times.

  • Justin (unregistered)

    So the real WTF was the blink tag in the middle of the page!?

  • mr_ed (unregistered)

    The "Remove This Object" is a WONDERFUL extension for Firefox.

    One right-click, and a "Remove This Object" and bye-bye to blinky tag.

    I've already filled out the survey.

  • magetoo (unregistered) in reply to ParkinT
    ParkinT:
    My resume is titled "Technology Specialist" which is sufficiently vague, yet encapsulates the idea of 'a broad range of experience' (software, hardware, language, wishware).
    In that case, shouldn't it be "technology generalist"?

    Only half joking. It really does sound like specialist in a narrow field to me.

  • Obi Wan (unregistered)

    You had me at "solutionologists" :)

    While we're on the topic... solutionologists - n. 1) People who study the art of creating solutions. 2) People who claim to be able to come up with solutions. [Origin: 1325–75; ME < L solūtiōn- (s. of solūtiō), equiv. to solūt(us) (see solute) + -iōn- -ion + Gk. -logia (often via Fr. -logie or M.L. -logia), from root of legein "to speak;" thus, "the character or department of one who speaks or treats of (a certain subject);" ]

    Ref's: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/solution http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=-logy

    captcha: paint - a picture of wtf-ishness, they did

  • (cs) in reply to Strider
    Strider:
    TRWTF is that Trevor is still working there...?
    Yeah, why the f is he working there?
  • (cs) in reply to Justin
    Justin:
    So the real WTF was the blink tag in the middle of the page!?

    That's what standards support means...Supporting ALL of them, whether you like it or not. IE7, incidentally, does not support blinkage via the blink tag.

    Quick - everyone switch back to IE!

    ...

  • SteveG (unregistered)

    It's the last case in the code that makes this one art - the commented-out call to something called lock().

    I was scared when I was seeing "lock()" as the last thing in cases, but now that I know it's debatable whether you should even call it, I'm terrified.

  • norbert (unregistered)

    "We're going to leverage JavaScript interfaces, compartmentalizing and segmenting variables with integrated XML driven frameworks, all compiled with forward momentum."

    Uh oh. This is my division's mission statement :(

  • (cs) in reply to Zazi
    Zazi:
    At any other job, I would've been laughing until I cried at the job title thing, but now that does not surprise me at all anymore, especially when I work with people now who give themselves titles such as "Infrastructure Delivery Management Systems Manager." I want to cry... :(
    Hey, that's not a million miles away from my job title!

    Although in fairness I inherited it from my predecessor so I can't really be blamed. Whenever anyone asks I just tell them I'm "the guy who does the unglamorous backend stuff". One way to kill off that line of conversation. :)

  • (cs) in reply to norbert
    norbert:
    "We're going to leverage JavaScript interfaces, compartmentalizing and segmenting variables with integrated XML driven frameworks, all compiled with forward momentum."

    Uh oh. This is my division's mission statement :(

    The real WTF is that he thought they were experts when they said this. Have these people never heard of SCIgen?

  • (cs) in reply to mr_ed
    mr_ed:
    I've already filled out the survey.
    Damn good thing I already filled it out as well as that blink crap would only make me NOT fill it out.
  • Dave (unregistered)

    The whole description is entirely too familiar.

    captcha: muhahaha

  • (cs)

    I gotta agree with the logic. If you are gonna ship a brick and expect to get paid for it and then maybe fix it up afterwards, why waste all that time and money on R&D?

    Ship ANY brick, call it ALL profit and then you can fix it up later. After all, since you already made a huge profit, everything after that must be free, right?

  • Swiet and Seksy (unregistered)

    "browser-based interactive multimedia delivery system framework"

    This is the best way to say "web page" I've ever seen :)

  • jdubya (unregistered)

    Anyone notice this was actionscript? Also, please do tell me how you can create a SOA in flash?

    1. none of those properties are "objects" but rather instances of art on the stage.
    2. actionscript had the most relaxed runtime rules in history, basically bad javascript with all of those minimal rules removed (at least javascript could throw a runtime error)
    3. the compiler (if you can call it that) couldn't check for squat errors other than missing parens and brackets.

    All this lead to some of the worst code ever written in history.

  • Drone (unregistered) in reply to joeSchmoe
    joeSchmoe:
    You are a stupid sumbitch who should call .Finalize() on his f*ing career in software f*ckupmanship.
    Unfortunately, Finalize() merely adds the object to the Finalizer queue, and the CLR will only promise to try really hard to execute the Finalizer code sometime before app termination. But execution is not guaranteed.

    Maybe Dan's career is in the queue, but he's just not dead yet :)

  • AGould (unregistered) in reply to Zazi
    Zazi:
    At any other job, I would've been laughing until I cried at the job title thing, but now that does not surprise me at all anymore, especially when I work with people now who give themselves titles such as "Infrastructure Delivery Management Systems Manager." I want to cry... :(

    I find titles are much more an issue of politics than position. My title ("Transportation Systems Administrator" - read: numbercruncher) is specifically designed to not say "Analyst", because all the analysts are in a different department - and my boss didn't want me re-org'ed into another department (even though it would make more sense).

    Generally it's only useful for "my title is longer than yours" fights. shrug

  • nobody (unregistered)

    The next thing Trevor knows, "Dan" is a bald guy with heavy glasses, his boss has horned hair, and the HR director is a red cat.

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