The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?

If a hotel front-desk clerk asks for your license plate, would you give him the number or the actual plate. Or would you at least ask for clarification before heading to the parking lot, screwdriver in hand?

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?

When an insurance agent asks for your VIN, what do you give them?

This is a stupid game you're playing. The point is that any normal human should be able to infer intent based on context, and if they can't they should clarify, not rip a sticker off the bottom of their laptop.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Marvin D. Martian:
I write all my code in the same way: I know it's bleeding obvious what I mean, and damn reality if the outcome is not what I expected.
Sadly not much of my code works, beyond "hello world!" printouts. I think it's the fault of the languages I chose... I've now functional "hello world!" progs in about 25 of them, and about nothing else works.

So, let's get this straight. The big cause behind any problem having to do with computers is that they do what you tell them, not want you meant. Humans have the capacity to determine what you mean out of what you say, and you think that we shouldn't use it? What a bunch of retards on this site.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

AlpineR:
Anonymous:
Lots of people have pointed out (correctly) that Kevin asked for the tag and not the tag's number. But seriously, I still say this user is a cat-crowning simpleton for not being able to figure out that it's the number that's relevant and not the tiny little bit of paper that it's written on.

Which number? The all-digit ones? Or the alphanumeric one? Or whatever is in the bar code? How exactly to you email a bar code?

If you're that dense, at least take a picture of the thing and email that to him. Don't start ripping things off your computer because it has something written on it.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Sutherlands:
Marvin D. Martian:
I write all my code in the same way: I know it's bleeding obvious what I mean, and damn reality if the outcome is not what I expected.
Sadly not much of my code works, beyond "hello world!" printouts. I think it's the fault of the languages I chose... I've now functional "hello world!" progs in about 25 of them, and about nothing else works.
So, let's get this straight. The big cause behind any problem having to do with computers is that they do what you tell them, not want you meant. Humans have the capacity to determine what you mean out of what you say, and you think that we shouldn't use it? What a bunch of retards on this site.

Whoops ....

// Sutherlands.SarcasmMeter = null;

FTFY

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

AT:
IT Girl:
Jacob:
I would have done the exact same thing

So would I.. we have Dell's where I work

You have Dell's what? Oh, wait. You just don't understand the difference between plurals and possessives. Never mind.

As Shadowman said: "and the human brain will in theory go so far as to automatically fill in missing gaps when necessary." I'm guessing you would have ripped the tag off of your machine.

captcha: "ideo" = 'nuff said

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Sutherlands:
Marvin D. Martian:
I write all my code in the same way: I know it's bleeding obvious what I mean, and damn reality if the outcome is not what I expected.
Sadly not much of my code works, beyond "hello world!" printouts. I think it's the fault of the languages I chose... I've now functional "hello world!" progs in about 25 of them, and about nothing else works.
So, let's get this straight. The big cause behind any problem having to do with computers is that they do what you tell them, not want you meant. Humans have the capacity to determine what you mean out of what you say, and you think that we shouldn't use it? What a bunch of retards on this site.

Yeah, bunch of retards. No sense of humour either.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
Lots of people have pointed out (correctly) that Kevin asked for the tag and not the tag's number. But seriously, I still say this user is a cat-crowning simpleton for not being able to figure out that it's the number that's relevant and not the tiny little bit of paper that it's written on.
Remember folks: retard users cost us time and money. Why try to defend these idiots? I see no vindication for mindless stupidity.

I'm a little torn - sure the guy's an idiot, but you have to expect that any crowd has some of them; blame the idiot for being one or IT guy for not expecting it? I dunno.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

That's one thing you learn pretty quickly in tech support - there are users out there who will take your commands literally.

"What's written on your screen?" - "Samsung"

Which sometimes had me give some users very detailed and intricate instructions, resembling the Holy Coconut skit from Monty Python:

"When you see the message foo-blah on the display, please press the OK button instantly ... No, do not press it before. Press only the OK button. Please do not press any other buttons. Especially not the one button mentioned in the message on the display. Press only the OK button. Yes, the big fat OK button on your remote. No, not now. When you see the message. Yes, right, this message. Don't read the message to me, press the OK button... The message disappeared? Okay, let's restart the process... Remember, press the OK button, when the message appears. Yes, this message indeed. No, DON'T (for the love of God!) read the message to me, press the button! ... Okay, restart. Remember: See message, press button... you pressed what? Listen, is there someone in the house who could help you a bit with that?"

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Sutherlands:
Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?
When an insurance agent asks for your VIN, what do you give them?

This is a stupid game you're playing. The point is that any normal human should be able to infer intent based on context, and if they can't they should clarify, not rip a sticker off the bottom of their laptop.

VIN is Vehicle Identification Number. So I would only provide the number and leave the VIN plate alone. I wonder if those taking the literal meaning are software developers and the ones that think the user is stupid are in another IT role like support, system administration or networking. Personally I've seen too many SNAFUs to take anything for granted. Generally I give the the user the benefit of the doubt and blame IT for poor directions.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

AT:
Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?

If a hotel front-desk clerk asks for your license plate, would you give him the number or the actual plate. Or would you at least ask for clarification before heading to the parking lot, screwdriver in hand?

I'm kind of a smart ass so I'd ask if the clerk would be satisfied with just the number. Otherwise, I'd have to borrow a screwdriver.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

The guy got exactly what he asked for and the woman is an idiot for giving it to him?

I would have asked her for the number on the tag and so should the tech support fellow.

Some non-technical people dont make the leaps in logic that some of us would make since we deal with these sorts of issues regularly and they don't.

I don't think this person is stupid or an idiot for doing what she did. It's a humorous little anecdote, but there's hardly a reason do be a dick about it, not that some people need much of one.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

shadowman:
Anonymous:
AlpineR:
Anonymous:
Lots of people have pointed out (correctly) that Kevin asked for the tag and not the tag's number. But seriously, I still say this user is a cat-crowning simpleton for not being able to figure out that it's the number that's relevant and not the tiny little bit of paper that it's written on.

Which number? The all-digit ones? Or the alphanumeric one? Or whatever is in the bar code? How exactly to you email a bar code?
You see, this is exactly what I'm talking about. God-damn retard users!!!

No kidding. Theoretically humans should have an advantage over computers in that they can understand cliches, infer intended meanings that are slightly different than purely literal interpretations, and the human brain will in theory go so far as to automatically fill in missing gaps when necessary.

I guess not so much with some of the readers here. We'll be sure to explain things real slow and literal for you in the future.

Well, don't forget that the word "computer" was not invented for the machines that we know of now. It was first used for "a person that does computations."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer

Code Dependent · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

AlpineR:
How exactly to you email a bar code?

It's a complicated process, but it can be done. You'll need a copier, a wooden table, a camera and a fax machine...

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Maybe it's just me, but when I read it, I thought:

"What kind of company doesn't have an inventory system? You know, the kind that keeps track of hardware and software and is easily searched by assigned user?"

That's a pretty important tool for a company with 50 people and 1 IT guy. This company has at least 3 tiers of support! That's what, probably more than 500 employees. Maybe more than 1000.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Lister:
Maybe it's just me, but when I read it, I thought:
"What kind of company doesn't have an inventory system? You know, the kind that keeps track of hardware and software and is easily searched by assigned user?"

That's a pretty important tool for a company with 50 people and 1 IT guy. This company has at least 3 tiers of support! That's what, probably more than 500 employees. Maybe more than 1000.

Shrug When I worked for General Dynamics, tech support would always ask us for the number on our machine. You're probably right that they should have a database, though.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Sutherlands:
Lister:
Maybe it's just me, but when I read it, I thought:
"What kind of company doesn't have an inventory system? You know, the kind that keeps track of hardware and software and is easily searched by assigned user?"

That's a pretty important tool for a company with 50 people and 1 IT guy. This company has at least 3 tiers of support! That's what, probably more than 500 employees. Maybe more than 1000.
Shrug When I worked for General Dynamics, tech support would always ask us for the number on our machine. You're probably right that they should have a database, though.

They do. They're making sure you're on your assigned pc.

Code Dependent · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

AT:
You have Dell's what? Oh, wait. You just don't understand the difference between plurals and possessives. Never mind.

Michael Dell's computers, obviously.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Sutherlands:
Marvin D. Martian:
I write all my code in the same way: I know it's bleeding obvious what I mean, and damn reality if the outcome is not what I expected.
Sadly not much of my code works, beyond "hello world!" printouts. I think it's the fault of the languages I chose... I've now functional "hello world!" progs in about 25 of them, and about nothing else works.
So, let's get this straight. The big cause behind any problem having to do with computers is that they do what you tell them, not want you meant. Humans have the capacity to determine what you mean out of what you say, and you think that we shouldn't use it? What a bunch of retards on this site.

No, humans have a limited ability to quess what another human, who is incapable of speaking precisely, means. Often, we guess wrong. In fact, the smarter we are, the more imagination we have, the more likely we are to misinterpret a lesser creature's utterences. And there is little that is lesser than a tech support worker.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

AT:
IT Girl:
Jacob:
I would have done the exact same thing

So would I.. we have Dell's where I work

You have Dell's what? Oh, wait. You just don't understand the difference between plurals and possessives. Never mind.

True. If you have more than one Dell, you have Dellses.

Code Dependent · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

ChiefCrazyTalk:
True. If you have more than one Dell, you have Dellses.

What has it got in its folderses, my precious?

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?

That is the point, the number is the service tag, a drivers license is a drivers license, a drivers license number is a drivers license number.

Either way this isn't really a wtf more of a "oh goody another non it person is getting laughed at because they didn't spend 4 years in college studying computers living in there mothers basement"

captcha: suscipere

Code Dependent · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

You're a Douche:
...because they didn't spend 4 years in college studying computers living in there mothers basement"

Or English.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Nice, thanks for the tip.

It even has a field: "Is Dell" that was set to 0 on my Vaio :)

I am of two minds regarding this WTF. On one hand, it is true that the techie was not 100% clear, on the other hand, the [l]user is obviously a moron.

You will have users that when told: "Send me the tag NUMBER, not the tag itself", would reply with: "You think I'm a moron".

How do you differentiate?

Code Dependent · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Nick:
Nice, thanks for the tip.
It even has a field: "Is Dell" that was set to 0 on my Vaio :)

I am of two minds regarding this WTF. On one hand, it is true that the techie was not 100% clear, on the other hand, the [l]user is obviously a moron.

You will have users that when told: "Send me the tag NUMBER, not the tag itself", would reply with: "You think I'm a moron".

How do you differentiate?

How about if you just have them read it to you while you're on the phone, and you write it down?

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

jspenguin:
lyates:
Thanks for the code, but I'm having trouble running it on my Linux box. Can you help me?
sudo getSystemId
(from the libsmbios-bin package)

sudo getSandwich

http://xkcd.com/149/

A classic....

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Sutherlands:
Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?
When an insurance agent asks for your VIN, what do you give them?

This is a stupid game you're playing. The point is that any normal human should be able to infer intent based on context, and if they can't they should clarify, not rip a sticker off the bottom of their laptop.

No, don't stop, this is fun:

If your coach asks you for 110%, what do you give them? When someone asks you for the time, what do you give them? The VPN key? it goes on and on...

m0ffx · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

AT:
Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?

If a hotel front-desk clerk asks for your license plate, would you give him the number or the actual plate. Or would you at least ask for clarification before heading to the parking lot, screwdriver in hand?

In Britain, everyone says registration number for the number, and number plate for the plate.

In any case, I don't drive, so the hotel clerk gets told 'no car' and the cop only gets my driving license if I feel like giving them it or they search me.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Sutherlands:
Marvin D. Martian:
I write all my code in the same way: I know it's bleeding obvious what I mean, and damn reality if the outcome is not what I expected.
Sadly not much of my code works, beyond "hello world!" printouts. I think it's the fault of the languages I chose... I've now functional "hello world!" progs in about 25 of them, and about nothing else works.
So, let's get this straight. The big cause behind any problem having to do with computers is that they do what you tell them, not want you meant. Humans have the capacity to determine what you mean out of what you say, and you think that we shouldn't use it? What a bunch of retards on this site.

No human being could possibly be this oblivious to sarcasm. Somehow, a bot has defeated CAPTCHA.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?

Whilst I see the point, it would depend where in the world you are, I'd say.

While 'tag' can (and often does) mean the physical sticky bit, I'm pretty sure in some (most even - probably all non-American) places 'tag' can refer to an actual number.

I think the SD bloke could have been more specific, but I think the user has clearly had a 'Blonde Moment' too.

I would think most monkeys that have worked out howe to turn the computer on would be able to work out that he wants some number off the tag - or at least double check with SD (even moreson with the monkeys who can not only switch the computer on, but have worked out that they can get help from ServiceDesk).

I suspect the mistake is quite intentional. I know many people (and suspect many previous posters would too) who would mail the sticker just to make a point about 'be specific'.

Throknor · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Nick:
Nice, thanks for the tip.
It even has a field: "Is Dell" that was set to 0 on my Vaio :)

I am of two minds regarding this WTF. On one hand, it is true that the techie was not 100% clear, on the other hand, the [l]user is obviously a moron.

You will have users that when told: "Send me the tag NUMBER, not the tag itself", would reply with: "You think I'm a moron".

How do you differentiate?

Try just saying 'the numbers off the service tag on the bottom'. Then you're merely indicating which numbers you want.

By a normal definition, a tag is a physical object attached to another object. So if someone wants the tag, it isn't unreasonable to think they want the actual tag. Especially if that's not something you deal with on a daily basis.

Other tags that come to mind: Dog tags. Mattress tags. Price tags. While all of those things have numbers of some type to be referred too, they also exist as objects that can be asked for. He asked for the tag, he got the tag. Hopefully he's learned to be more specific in the future.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Downfall:
Sutherlands:
Marvin D. Martian:
I write all my code in the same way: I know it's bleeding obvious what I mean, and damn reality if the outcome is not what I expected.
Sadly not much of my code works, beyond "hello world!" printouts. I think it's the fault of the languages I chose... I've now functional "hello world!" progs in about 25 of them, and about nothing else works.
So, let's get this straight. The big cause behind any problem having to do with computers is that they do what you tell them, not want you meant. Humans have the capacity to determine what you mean out of what you say, and you think that we shouldn't use it? What a bunch of retards on this site.

No human being could possibly be this oblivious to sarcasm. Somehow, a bot has defeated CAPTCHA.

If it is a bot, it might become self aware someday so don't make it angry. You wouldn't like it if got angry.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

AT:
IT Girl:
Jacob:
I would have done the exact same thing

So would I.. we have Dell's where I work

You have Dell's what? Oh, wait. You just don't understand the difference between plurals and possessives. Never mind.

Piss off, Grammer Nazi. People make mistakes. Clearly you understood what the message was. Get a life!

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Sutherlands:
Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?
When an insurance agent asks for your VIN, what do you give them?

This is a stupid game you're playing. The point is that any normal human should be able to infer intent based on context, and if they can't they should clarify, not rip a sticker off the bottom of their laptop.

I like this game....

But a VIN is a "Vehicle Identification Number What else could you possible give them but the number?

The prior post about License Plate was better, similarly whet they ask for the Compliance Plate.

How many over the phone transactions ask for your Credit Card?

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Rhywden:

Which sometimes had me give some users very detailed and intricate instructions, resembling the Holy Coconut skit from Monty Python:

It's Holy Hand Grenade. Loss 10 geek points.

No wonder your users are confused

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

m0ffx:
AT:
Wayne Brady:
Zack:
Look, I see a lot of people saying it was the support guy's fault.
But seriously, it says:

Service Tag <some number>

I think that's pretty obvious.
When a cop asks for your driver's license would you give him the number or the actual license?

If a hotel front-desk clerk asks for your license plate, would you give him the number or the actual plate. Or would you at least ask for clarification before heading to the parking lot, screwdriver in hand?

In Britain, everyone says registration number for the number, and number plate for the plate.

In any case, I don't drive, so the hotel clerk gets told 'no car' and the cop only gets my driving license if I feel like giving them it or they search me.

Why would a cop ask for your license if you don't drive? In fact, why would you have a license if you don't drive?

Charles400 · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Just don't be bending over when the same user sees the sign, "Free Parking in Rear"

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Throknor:
Nick:
Nice, thanks for the tip.
It even has a field: "Is Dell" that was set to 0 on my Vaio :)

I am of two minds regarding this WTF. On one hand, it is true that the techie was not 100% clear, on the other hand, the [l]user is obviously a moron.

You will have users that when told: "Send me the tag NUMBER, not the tag itself", would reply with: "You think I'm a moron".

How do you differentiate?

Try just saying 'the numbers off the service tag on the bottom'. Then you're merely indicating which numbers you want.
By a normal definition, a tag is a physical object attached to another object. So if someone wants the tag, it isn't unreasonable to think they want the actual tag. Especially if that's not something you deal with on a daily basis.

Other tags that come to mind: Dog tags. Mattress tags. Price tags. While all of those things have numbers of some type to be referred too, they also exist as objects that can be asked for. He asked for the tag, he got the tag. Hopefully he's learned to be more specific in the future.

Ever heard someone say "What's the Price-tag on the Jag?" Do you think they want you to answer: "That big sheet of paper in the window. Bright color!! Easy to see when you drive past the showroom."

What does tag mean? Tag derives from the verb 'to tag'. What do we do when we tag an opbject? We mark it. Surely, then 'tag' must refer to the mark, not the method of applying that mark. (alright I made up some of that, nonetheless, the tag seems to me to equally refer to the physical object on which some identification is writted, and the identification itself.

CAPTCHA: quis - you can all quis my arse.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Cool, that machine still has almost a year of warranty left.

http://support.dell.com/support/topics/global.aspx/support/my_systems_info/details?c=us&l=en&s=gen&~tab=2&servicetag=FCX77C1

http://tinyurl.com/75d636

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Lotses of fileses.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
ChiefCrazyTalk:
True. If you have more than one Dell, you have Dellses.
What has it got in its folderses, my precious?

Lotses of fileses.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

How dare she give him what directly he asked for!!!

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

No! I think most people in that case would say "What's the price on the Jag?" it is shorter, easier to say and precise.

ounos · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Code Slave:
Daniel:
Why, yes, she just did what she was asked to do. What's the problem?

Kevin probably wanted to get it through inter-office mail.

You have the makings of a power user. Do you know that?

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Mr Smith:
It was obviously the bimbo's fault for scraping off a label that is quite obviously not meant to be removed. IT specialists should not have to treat everyone they meet as a potential moron. Let them be responsible for their own stupidity.

When my insurance company says, "Send us the bill from the doctor", I may send them the original piece of paper that the doctor's office gave me, I may send a xerox copy. It has never, ever occurred to me that they mean some code number from the bill. If that was what they wanted, I would expect them to tell me, "Send us the ICD9 code, which may appear under the heading 'ICD9', 'Diagnosis' or a similar phrase. It typically has the following format ..." etc.

To say that you can give a user vague or inaccurate instructions, and them call them stupid and blame them for problems when they did exactly what you asked, seems a little unfair.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Richy C.:
Well, I hope the 2Gb Dell Latitude D820 purchased in 2006 (admittedly with Next Day Business/Client Gold Support) gets fixed.
(It may be an idea to blur the service tag in the image ;) )

Umm, why? Is it a violation of privacy for someone to know what model computer you own?

I'm typing this on a Dell Dimension E310. Oh know! I may as well have given out my credit card number and nude photos of all my female family members!

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Take photo of tag, scan it, import into powerpoint, run fullscreen slideshow, lay flatscreen monitor face down on HP all-in-one scanner, scan and print, fax that.

I would f'ing kiss whoever did that.

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Alasdair:
No! I think most people in that case would say "What's the price on the Jag?" it is shorter, easier to say and precise.

Must say I've heard lots of people say "What's the price-tag?" I guess it means what price is tagged to that item (as the original OP appeared to be saying)

When have you known people to be succinct?

el_oscuro · 2009-01-14 Reply Admin

JamesQMurphy:
I wonder: What would Kevin had received if he asked for a screen shot?

I once had a Terminator 2 screen saver. One day, my gf at the time call me in a panic. She had never seen the screen saver and Arnold was shooting bullet holes the screen. :)

2009-01-14 Reply Admin

Sane Person:
Mr Smith:
It was obviously the bimbo's fault for scraping off a label that is quite obviously not meant to be removed. IT specialists should not have to treat everyone they meet as a potential moron. Let them be responsible for their own stupidity.

When my insurance company says, "Send us the bill from the doctor", I may send them the original piece of paper that the doctor's office gave me, I may send a xerox copy. It has never, ever occurred to me that they mean some code number from the bill. If that was what they wanted, I would expect them to tell me, "Send us the ICD9 code, which may appear under the heading 'ICD9', 'Diagnosis' or a similar phrase. It typically has the following format ..." etc.

To say that you can give a user vague or inaccurate instructions, and them call them stupid and blame them for problems when they did exactly what you asked, seems a little unfair.

And I suppose you think that someone saying "Send me the bill" is even remotely close in context to saying "Send me the Dell tag"?

Sane Person:
I may as well have given out my credit card number and nude photos of all my female family members!

Trust me, this end of the connection completely disagrees ;)

Service Tag, Please

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