The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

the beholder:
Sock Puppet #5:
Steve H.:
I think you have that backwards. Everyone in that thread was talking about the NEW irish girl.
That link was sufficient, however, for me to determine that the origin was a banner ad. It would be cool to see the original "irish girl" name applied to the sidebar ad in some form or fashion, but I'm definitely not willing to go digging through the sewers of antiquity to find it.
If you're digging through TDWTF history, check out SpectateSwamp's DesktopSearch (SSDS) at the sidebar forum, search for the "foosball girl" meme (+picture) and mainly delight yourself with T0pCod3r's trolling art. Supposing any of his posts survived the mods's fury, of course.

SFW?

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Years ago I programmed using a 360/44 using punch cards. The antique FORTRAN compiler required all definitions be placed before any computation. You also never commented since comments caused card jams (well that was the legend anyway). Code looked just like the stuff in the example.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Aaron continues, "good job, you've created all the variables. Now, what the $#@~! are they?!"

I like when WTFs explain the joke for those who don't use the language. You should do it more often.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

BOB:
Years ago I programmed using a 360/44 using punch cards. The antique FORTRAN compiler required all definitions be placed before any computation. You also never commented since comments caused card jams (well that was the legend anyway). Code looked just like the stuff in the example.

Isn't that how ANSI-C works too? It's really all just syntactic sugar.

Matt Westwood · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

BOB:
Years ago I programmed using a 360/44 using punch cards. The antique FORTRAN compiler required all definitions be placed before any computation. You also never commented since comments caused card jams (well that was the legend anyway). Code looked just like the stuff in the example.

Probably the cause of the WTF. Probably find the programmer was an old Fortran blower who refused to update his paradigms.

"ALL VARS MUST BE DECLARED AT THE TOP. ALL IN UPPERCASE AND NO VARIABLE NAME LONGER THAN 6 LETTERS. THAT''S HOW IT''S DONE IN FORTRAN. IT''S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME SO IT''S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU."

Someone obviously went through afterwards and made the variables lower/camelcase. And added one or two more, with longer names.

It's the reason why managers are apt to refuse permission for their old boys to be trained in Java.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

the beholder:
delight yourself with T0pCod3r's trolling art. Supposing any of his posts survived the mods's fury, of course.

T0pCod3r was truly a light in the sewer; I miss him/her/it almost as much as Irish Girl. But I didn't know the busted tees girl was here first. How did she originally arrive?

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
the beholder:
Sock Puppet #5:
Steve H.:
I think you have that backwards. Everyone in that thread was talking about the NEW irish girl.
That link was sufficient, however, for me to determine that the origin was a banner ad. It would be cool to see the original "irish girl" name applied to the sidebar ad in some form or fashion, but I'm definitely not willing to go digging through the sewers of antiquity to find it.
If you're digging through TDWTF history, check out SpectateSwamp's DesktopSearch (SSDS) at the sidebar forum, search for the "foosball girl" meme (+picture) and mainly delight yourself with T0pCod3r's trolling art. Supposing any of his posts survived the mods's fury, of course.
SFW?

Sure, unless you work in a 16th century monastery. There's a decent cleavage* but nothing that extrem- OMGpr0n!!!1!one!

Thankfully the cleavage is foosball girl's.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

Surely this is just a clever security system. We use such variable names to ensure that across the entire codebase, there is an equal distribution of each character. x, y, w, v would probably be reasonably rare in most reserved words (we obviously don't use much finally, byte, try, while, void, volatile, synchronized) so we need broad spatterings of them. THis makes our binary infinitely more complex to decode.

A really skilled dev can keep a roughly even distribution of characters even taking into account getter and setter methods and the like.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

the beholder:
Sock Puppet #5:
the beholder:
Sock Puppet #5:
Steve H.:
I think you have that backwards. Everyone in that thread was talking about the NEW irish girl.
That link was sufficient, however, for me to determine that the origin was a banner ad. It would be cool to see the original "irish girl" name applied to the sidebar ad in some form or fashion, but I'm definitely not willing to go digging through the sewers of antiquity to find it.
If you're digging through TDWTF history, check out SpectateSwamp's DesktopSearch (SSDS) at the sidebar forum, search for the "foosball girl" meme (+picture) and mainly delight yourself with T0pCod3r's trolling art. Supposing any of his posts survived the mods's fury, of course.
SFW?
Sure, unless you work in a 16th century monastery. There's a decent cleavage* but nothing that extrem- OMGpr0n!!!1!one!
Thankfully the cleavage is foosball girl's.

That's not a cleavage.

(Points towards Australian girl's bosom.)

That's a cleavage.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

some guy:
TFA:
Now, what the $#@~! are they?!

ints.

$#@~! bash: 0@~!: command not found

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Declare variables??

Why? In Fortran 2, you couldn't declare variables, you just used them and hoped for the best. The implicit naming (integers starting with I, J, K, L, M, N; and reals being the rest) was how it was done. This led to some names like 'KODE' when you wanted an integer (documented, for sure!).

As for nuclear reactors: I know of a university one that was de-commissioned over 30 years ago. The site is now a nice residential subdivision, and I suspect that nobody is the wiser. I drove by the site several times going to/from work in the 70's (when I worked at said university). No, I wasn't an alumnus (I was going to the university that was MUCH cheaper 20 miles to the south!).

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

neminem:
Sam:
A university != its undergrads, you realise... The actual research is done by postgrads and research staff (professors, fellows, etc).
Unless you go to Reed (I had a friend who went there). Reed College: known primarily for a. its nuclear reactor, and b. its students taking a lot of drugs. How's that for scary?
p.s. the singular of alumni is totally alumni. Why? Because English isn't Latin. We anglicize foreign words we borrow all the time, there's nothing wrong with that.

Déjà vu...

I vote Octopodes....

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

frits:
Hortical:
You have some cognitive dissonance to work out.
Your cognitive dissonance due to others' inconsistencies is your problem.
blakeyrat:
It helps to remember everybody here is a troll.

Coyne · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Well,

...the prbx and prby variables are clearly used to store the XY position of the proboscus. ...and the plbx and plby variables position the plebians. ...and v(h/v)b(x/y) group is for the x/y positions of the horizontal and vertical vultures. ...and the tc(x/y) variables are for the tochtli. ...and the si(a/b)(x/y) variables are for the simians. ...and the vil(x/y) variables are for the villians. ...and the rod variables are for the rodents that ride the elevators, except for the rodents that are "in". ...and the w__(x/y) variables are for the wapiti, except for the warn(x/y) variables, which are blindingly obvious. ...the turb(x/y) are for the turbo tochtli. ...the trap(x/y) are for the sand traps. ...the guage(s)(x/y) are for the railroad. ...every program like this needs a reactor. ...and the remaining variables keep track of the joints and squiggles.

Simple, see?

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

brazzy:
frits:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.
OMG, I think your right.

Let's hope it's a simulation.

It looks like the code for a display of a simulation. At least, on the S5W reactor, there's no software to screw up (some safety features are handled through sensors and logic gates; the most famous one boils down to IF (long set of and/or gates that mean 'at least two pumps running in each loop') OR battleshort switch in 'battleshort' position, then 'don't initiate scram')

Nonmilitary reactors probably have less manpower to throw at looking at dials and pressing buttons, but moving rods is something that is rare enough that it should require direct human intervention in all normal cases.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Too much free time:
4 L&R pumps have 4H&V valves, and 1 set (left and right) has no valves? Not sure what the H and V would be.

If it's a 4-way valve, it could be horizontal and vertical.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

haha, I was just about to make this one too :)

Matt Westwood · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Herby:
Declare variables??
Why? In Fortran 2, you couldn't declare variables, you just used them and hoped for the best. The implicit naming (integers starting with I, J, K, L, M, N; and reals being the rest) was how it was done. This led to some names like 'KODE' when you wanted an integer (documented, for sure!).

As for nuclear reactors: I know of a university one that was de-commissioned over 30 years ago. The site is now a nice residential subdivision, and I suspect that nobody is the wiser. I drove by the site several times going to/from work in the 70's (when I worked at said university). No, I wasn't an alumnus (I was going to the university that was MUCH cheaper 20 miles to the south!).

In FORTRAN 77 You could still can use IMPLICIT ALL (or something) which allows you to not need to declare variables. Presumably the same applies to FORTRAN 95 as no features were removed. I had to maintain a couple of programs once which had been written as IMPLICIT ALL and it was not easy to do.

Most programming environments which use FORTRAN usually impose a set of house standards which enforce a certain level of structure on the programs. If done right, you get a level of elegance and attractiveness that is difficult to achieve in modern programs unless considerable effort is made.

Sigh. I miss FORTRAN. I loved it. But life moves on ...

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

No! There is "a lot" of "real world" experience. It just is from the time 30 years ago when the big languages were Fortran and BASIC.

GFK · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Herby:
Declare variables??
Why? In Fortran 2, you couldn't declare variables, you just used them and hoped for the best. The implicit naming (integers starting with I, J, K, L, M, N; and reals being the rest) was how it was done. This led to some names like 'KODE' when you wanted an integer (documented, for sure!).

As for nuclear reactors: I know of a university one that was de-commissioned over 30 years ago. The site is now a nice residential subdivision, and I suspect that nobody is the wiser. I drove by the site several times going to/from work in the 70's (when I worked at said university). No, I wasn't an alumnus (I was going to the university that was MUCH cheaper 20 miles to the south!).

USE variables??

Why? In RPL, you just put your values on the stack and write DUPs, SWAPs, DROPs and PICKs while simulating the state of your stack on a paper. And since everything in your HP48 is in the RAM and the RAM gets completely wiped in case of access violation, programs with bugs are automatically erased from the surface of the planet. That's how real men did back then.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

ted:
I use nondescript variable names when they are local variables not being used for anything more than an iterator or a throw-away value for a math function.
for (int i = 0; i < array_count; i++) { }

Vector3 j = new Vector3(Math.Sin(angle_x), Math.Cos(angle_y), 0.0f)

my_translated_vector += j; another_translated_vector -= j;

Obviously array_count and and the angles and the translated vectors would have descriptive names based on context. Does that make me some kind of WTF? I don't see a point in descriptive variable names when their use is very limited to local scope and obvious from context. I mean, what would I name j? temp_vector_to_translate_two_other_vectors_so_i_dont_have_to_calculate_sine_and_cosine_values_twice?

I'll stick with j.

I'd go with TAN, but avid readers will know I failed my 5th Grade Mathematic*

*: Pedant Anticipator ACTIVE

Re: What the @*&# are they? IN[I]TS, innit?

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

Not my WTF discovery, but that of a friend who did a systems analyst degree with me.

She told me about a commercially produced, high-end banking system her employer had bought. The sale included the source code, since they were required to make any changes themselves.

When she examined the said source code, she discovered that the first screen of a simple stock purchase required 88 variables (must have been a pianist who wrote the code). They were named: Int1, Int2, Text3, Float4, etc., with no comments explaining what they were for. After manually reverse engineering the code, taking a week to work her way through the intricacies of multiple-use variables, she told her boss to scrap the project and ask for their money back. There were, after all, a couple of hundred screens, not to mention reports, helper routines, etc.

She didn't want to have to work on it until retirement (she was 31 at the time).

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

beginend:
sorry for playing dumb... but besides the horrible naming and the lack of commenting, does anything speak against declaring your variables in one place, at the top? what makes that bad style per se?

How about global variables vs. local and scoped variables?

frits · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
Sock Puppet #5:
Anonymous Coward:
some guy:
TFA:
Now, what the $#@~! are they?!

ints.

PLEASE MAKE IT A FEATURED COMMENT!
I'm pretty sure they don't do featured comments anymore.
No, they do, there's just been nothing worth "featuring".

Making this ^^ a featured comment is so meta.

hoodaticus · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Matt Westwood:
Herby:
Declare variables??
Why? In Fortran 2, you couldn't declare variables, you just used them and hoped for the best. The implicit naming (integers starting with I, J, K, L, M, N; and reals being the rest) was how it was done. This led to some names like 'KODE' when you wanted an integer (documented, for sure!).

As for nuclear reactors: I know of a university one that was de-commissioned over 30 years ago. The site is now a nice residential subdivision, and I suspect that nobody is the wiser. I drove by the site several times going to/from work in the 70's (when I worked at said university). No, I wasn't an alumnus (I was going to the university that was MUCH cheaper 20 miles to the south!).

In FORTRAN 77 You could still can use IMPLICIT ALL (or something) which allows you to not need to declare variables. Presumably the same applies to FORTRAN 95 as no features were removed. I had to maintain a couple of programs once which had been written as IMPLICIT ALL and it was not easy to do.

Most programming environments which use FORTRAN usually impose a set of house standards which enforce a certain level of structure on the programs. If done right, you get a level of elegance and attractiveness that is difficult to achieve in modern programs unless considerable effort is made.

Sigh. I miss FORTRAN. I loved it. But life moves on ...

I suppose that somewhere, even Osama bin Laden is mourned.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Chernobyl Charlie:
Sock Puppet #5:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.
Why would they have a nuclear reactor at a University? Did you read the article?

Did you go to college or maybe do a little research??

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nuclear_reactors#Civilian_Research_and_Test_Reactors_Licensed_To_Operate

Even that list either isn't complete, our college/university (whatever it calls itself now) no longer has its license, or it wasn't needed decades ago. The Robotics student org. now uses the basement where the reactor used to be, and background radiation in one of the rooms there is still sliiiightly higher than the average for the area.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
frits:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.
OMG, I think your right.
In Java! Holy shit! "Core meltdown in progress. Correction procedures suspended for garbage collection run."

Correct. Java™ is simply not suitable for real-time systems.

Also, apparently you have to be more wordy to get past askimet.

GFK · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
hoodaticus:
frits:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.
OMG, I think your right.
In Java! Holy shit! "Core meltdown in progress. Correction procedures suspended for garbage collection run."
Correct. Java™ is simply not suitable for real-time systems.

Also, apparently you have to be more wordy to get past askimet.

Neither are Windows or standard editions of Linux anyway.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

GFK:
Sock Puppet #5:
hoodaticus:
frits:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.
OMG, I think your right.
In Java! Holy shit! "Core meltdown in progress. Correction procedures suspended for garbage collection run."
Correct. Java™ is simply not suitable for real-time systems.

Also, apparently you have to be more wordy to get past askimet.

Neither are Windows or standard editions of Linux anyway.

Hmm. Red herring mixed with a bit of straw man...

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Timothy:
Sam:
Sock Puppet #5:
Why would they have a nuclear reactor at a University? Did you read the article?
Research reactors exist.
When I was at UC Irvine, there was a reactor in basement of the Physical Sciences building - directly below the freshman calculus lecture hall.

At least when it goes critical, it only takes out freshmen.

hoodaticus · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
At least when it goes critical, it only takes out freshmen.

Ah, well, they're probably better off.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

brazzy:
Sock Puppet #5:
Why would they have a nuclear reactor at a University? Did you read the article?
In case you are not joking: the first nuclear reactor ever build was constructed in an abandoned racquets court at the University of Chicago, and it's not all that unusual for universities with large phsyics departments to have small research reactors.

And the first nuclear pile ever was created in a hall which I had lectures in... we used to joke that the place stayed rather warm in the winter...

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
Hmm. Red herring mixed with a bit of straw man...

Mmm. Red herring is best herring.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.

frits · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.

I think it's mainly because 95% of the commenters are university students.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

frits:
Sock Puppet #5:
It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.
I think it's mainly because 95% of the commenters are university students.

No, zero percent of me is a university student.

frits · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

QJo:
frits:
Sock Puppet #5:
It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.
I think it's mainly because 95% of the commenters are university students.

No, zero percent of me is a university student.

So by my calculations (bear with me, math is not my strong suit) you're claiming to account for umm... > 95% of comments on this site? So you're the one?

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

brazzy:
Sock Puppet #5:
Why would they have a nuclear reactor at a University? Did you read the article?
In case you are not joking: the first nuclear reactor ever build was constructed in an abandoned racquets court at the University of Chicago, and it's not all that unusual for universities with large phsyics departments to have small research reactors.

You know what they say about universities with large physics departments.

Captcha: transverbero, the supervillain who can only use transitive verbs.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

drusi:
You know what they say about universities with large physics departments.

Big gloves?

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

frits:
QJo:
frits:
Sock Puppet #5:
It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.
I think it's mainly because 95% of the commenters are university students.

No, zero percent of me is a university student.

So by my calculations (bear with me, math is not my strong suit) you're claiming to account for umm... > 95% of comments on this site? So you're the one?

Bah, rumbled. Just don't tell my clients.

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

[image]

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

not zunesis:
drusi:
You know what they say about universities large int the physical department.
Don't forget hemorrhoid cream!

FTFY

hoodaticus · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

frits:
QJo:
frits:
Sock Puppet #5:
It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.
I think it's mainly because 95% of the commenters are university students.

No, zero percent of me is a university student.

So by my calculations (bear with me, math is not my strong suit) you're claiming to account for umm... > 95% of comments on this site? So you're the one?

You finally found the SockPuppetMaster!

C-Octothorpe · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
frits:
QJo:
frits:
Sock Puppet #5:
It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.
I think it's mainly because 95% of the commenters are university students.

No, zero percent of me is a university student.

So by my calculations (bear with me, math is not my strong suit) you're claiming to account for umm... > 95% of comments on this site? So you're the one?
You finally found the SockPuppetMaster!

Or, the Master of Puppets, if you will.

sorry...

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

It's probably just a straight port of old Fortran code. Fortran used to have a low limit on the number of characters per identifier, so short names were commonplace.

There is usually a glossary in the comments, though.

frits · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
frits:
QJo:
frits:
Sock Puppet #5:
It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.
I think it's mainly because 95% of the commenters are university students.

No, zero percent of me is a university student.

So by my calculations (bear with me, math is not my strong suit) you're claiming to account for umm... > 95% of comments on this site? So you're the one?
You finally found the SockPuppetMaster!
Or, the Master of Puppets, if you will.

sorry...

For what? Chopping your breakfast on a mirror?! Dun! Dun dun duuuun!

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
frits:
QJo:
frits:
Sock Puppet #5:
It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.
I think it's mainly because 95% of the commenters are university students.

No, zero percent of me is a university student.

So by my calculations (bear with me, math is not my strong suit) you're claiming to account for umm... > 95% of comments on this site? So you're the one?
You finally found the SockPuppetMaster!
Or, the Master of Puppets, if you will.

sorry...

You should be.

Reminds me, I once saw a parody T-shirt mocking a US visit by the Pope. The theme was heavy metal, the slogan was "Pastor of Muppets".

2011-08-18 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
hoodaticus:
frits:
QJo:
frits:
Sock Puppet #5:
It still blows my mind that the university vs. not flamewar did not brake out.
I think it's mainly because 95% of the commenters are university students.

No, zero percent of me is a university student.

So by my calculations (bear with me, math is not my strong suit) you're claiming to account for umm... > 95% of comments on this site? So you're the one?
You finally found the SockPuppetMaster!
Or, the Master of Puppets, if you will.

sorry...

Master of who?

hoodaticus · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

frits:
C-Octothorpe:
sorry...
For what? Chopping your breakfast on a mirror?! Dun! Dun dun duuuun!

If this is a reference to Hurly Burly, bravo.

[as Kevin Spacey enters the breakfast nook in the morning, where his business associates are snorting up coke]
You guys are in a fucking frenzy here. Have some breakfast, why don't you? Eat an orange, why don't you? Calm down.

Most fucked up movie ever. Meg Ryan plays a crack whore for crying out loud.

C-Octothorpe · 2011-08-18 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
frits:
C-Octothorpe:
sorry...
For what? Chopping your breakfast on a mirror?! Dun! Dun dun duuuun!
If this is a reference to Hurly Burly, bravo.

Naw, I'm just twisting your mind and smashing your dreams...

The Alumni Variables

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