The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
Sock Puppet #5:
Perhaps the real problem is that they're not reading the comments
My guess is that they're skimming the comments.
As far as "featuring" comments goes, a pattern I usually see is that very rarely do any comments past the first page ever get featured. My guess is the author gets busy or loses interest due to retarded flame wars.

Which leads to the interesting conclusion that the readers know more about the memes than the authors!

Speaking of memes, I think I've tracked all of them down except for "Irish Girl". My guess is it was either an advertised item (busted-tees.com?) or a one-time commenter. Can anyone fill me in?

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

I use nondescript variable names when they are local variables not being used for anything more than an iterator or a throw-away value for a math function.

for (int i = 0; i < array_count; i++) { }

Vector3 j = new Vector3(Math.Sin(angle_x), Math.Cos(angle_y), 0.0f)

my_translated_vector += j; another_translated_vector -= j;

Obviously array_count and and the angles and the translated vectors would have descriptive names based on context. Does that make me some kind of WTF? I don't see a point in descriptive variable names when their use is very limited to local scope and obvious from context. I mean, what would I name j? temp_vector_to_translate_two_other_vectors_so_i_dont_have_to_calculate_sine_and_cosine_values_twice?

I'll stick with j.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

dohpaz42:
No, no you're not making it up. TRWTF is that the Java lawyers felt the need to restrict the usage of the language in nuclear reactors -- it's like they knew the quality of their users, and that it wasn't good.

Or else, it's like they knew what a pain in the ass it would be if someone screwed up a line of Java and melted down Indian Point, so they put in a CYA line. "Sorry, you were using Java in a manner explicitly excluded in the license. We have no liability here".

Even if you could prove that the error was in the code, there are something like 25 million people in the Indian Point evacuation zone. If there were a screwup there, it'd be worth a line in the license to ensure that you had no liability in that.

(btw, @Hortical - I'm also not suggesting melting down Indian Point as a means of dealing with the population problems)

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
Can anyone fill me in?

I'm sure our cheerful pervert-in-residence would be glad to oblige...

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
(btw, @Hortical - I'm also not suggesting melting down Indian Point as a means of dealing with the population problems)

Bleeding-heart commie.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

GFK:
He had grouped all the files he could find in his hard drive by file extension, in separated folders located in the root of C:. It probably stopped working when he was moving all these .dll files that were everywhere...

Reminds me of a customer long ago, who in the name of compulsive "organization" I guess, deleted all the commands whose names he didn't recognize. It was a different (now defunct) OS, but the equivalent of deleting all but 3 files from c:\windows, then wondering why nothing works.

I would like to peek -- from a safe distance of course -- into the brain of someone with the hubris to see that somebody somewhere went to an awful lot of work to create a large amount of software, but I know better and can surely just delete it, even though I have no idea what it is.

This also falls under the heading of "I don't want to see it so I better delete it" -- a strategy that often wreaks havoc on databases as well.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
Speaking of memes, I think I've tracked all of them down except for "Irish Girl". My guess is it was either an advertised item (busted-tees.com?) or a one-time commenter. Can anyone fill me in?

It comes from a busted-tees advertisement that was displayed on the site every now and then. The image was a cute girl with a shirt that said "Irish I was drunk". A Google search will turn up the site and page. Check out the female type of shirt and you'll see her.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Why not? There's one at Penn State, altough it's smaller and not used to produce power it's still there

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

frits:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.
OMG, I think your right eye just exploded.

FTFY

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
is nuclear technology something I want ungraduated physics students playing around with?

Why not? They do fine with software.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

trtrwtf:
dohpaz42:
No, no you're not making it up. TRWTF is that the Java lawyers felt the need to restrict the usage of the language in nuclear reactors -- it's like they knew the quality of their users, and that it wasn't good.

Or else, it's like they knew what a pain in the ass it would be if someone screwed up a line of Java and melted down Indian Point, so they put in a CYA line. "Sorry, you were using Java in a manner explicitly excluded in the license. We have no liability here".

Even if you could prove that the error was in the code, there are something like 25 million people in the Indian Point evacuation zone. If there were a screwup there, it'd be worth a line in the license to ensure that you had no liability in that.

(btw, @Hortical - I'm also not suggesting melting down Indian Point as a means of dealing with the population problems)

Tangentially reminds me: When I lived on Long Island (an island just off New York City), at one point the government announced that they were working on an evacuation plan in case of natural disaster, war, etc. My father found this hysterically funny. "We can't get people off Long Island who are commuting to work every morning," he said. "How do they think they're going to get EVERYONE off the island?"

frits · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Bananas:
frits:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.
OMG, I think you're right eye just exploded.
FTFY

FTFM

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

So I'm the submitter of this code, and thank you for making that, this is EXACTLY what I thought of when I first read it!

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
do I want Iranian exchange students getting-to-know the inner workings of our nuclear reactors?

You're confusing what YOU want with what the people who run the average American university want. How do you think they're going to overthrow the corrupt capitalist system and destroy the evil Zionist state if the soldiers of worldwide liberation can't get their hands on nuclear weapons?

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

frits:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.
OMG, I think your right.

He is right, this is a nuclear reactor interface, but it's just a simulation (thank fucking god)

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

QJo:
swim:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.

You're not allowed to use Java for a nuclear reactor. It's in the license.

"not designed or intended for use in the design, construction, operation or maintenance of any nuclear facility."

Seriously, I'm not making that up.

That makes it even worse! Not only is this an application for controlling a nuclear reactor, it's doing it illegally!

And who's to say it's not code for a commercial reactor somewhere? Maybe the contractor decided not to waste money going offshore (having read enough flame wars on TDWTF to learn that this is contentious) ... and instead went to a university to get it done even more cheaply? Electric power doesn't pay for itself, you know ...

Relax, relax, it's just an interface that's simulating a nuclear reactor for an experiment. No actual implication of this code involves any hazardous materials ;)

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Not much risk, considering the reactor was decommissioned in 1999!

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Also, they managed to contaminate themselves in 1988!

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Where can you get a 250kW AAA battery?

That would be great for my MP3 player!

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Aaron:
So I'm the submitter of this code, and thank you for making that, this is EXACTLY what I thought of when I first read it!

You're welcome. Couldn't resist...

Also, I'm immensely glad to learn it is only a simulation.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Steve H.:
Sock Puppet #5:
Speaking of memes, I think I've tracked all of them down except for "Irish Girl". My guess is it was either an advertised item (busted-tees.com?) or a one-time commenter. Can anyone fill me in?
It comes from a busted-tees advertisement that was displayed on the site every now and then. The image was a cute girl with a shirt that said "Irish I was drunk". A Google search will turn up the site and page. Check out the female type of shirt and you'll see her.

Well the original Irish Girl appeared in an ad on this site (don't remember what for... there's the effectiveness of ads for you) and was a cutie in a green hat. After she disappeared, WTFfers found a similar looking girl on the busted-tees site, but I don't think we've ever established that she was the same person.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Frank:
Where can you get a 250kW AAA battery?
That would be great for my MP3 player!

Try MicroCenter. They've got everything.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Jack:
Well the original Irish Girl appeared in an ad on this site (don't remember what for... there's the effectiveness of ads for you) and was a cutie in a green hat. After she disappeared, WTFfers found a similar looking girl on the busted-tees site, but I don't think we've ever established that she was the same person.

No one kept a picture for their collection?!?

TheCPUWizard · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

[quote user="JayTangentially reminds me: When I lived on Long Island (an island just off New York City), at one point the government announced that they were working on an evacuation plan in case of natural disaster, war, etc. My father found this hysterically funny. "We can't get people off Long Island who are commuting to work every morning," he said. "How do they think they're going to get EVERYONE off the island?"[/quote]

Agreed about the evacuation plans [and they were for the Shoram Nuclear Power plant, not for natural disaster]. but you are backwards in your geography....

Manhattan (one of the 5 boroughs of NYC] is a small island off the coast of Long Island, as is Staten Island [another borough]. Brooklyn and Queens [two more boroughs] are geographically on Long Island (but not politically) and the final borough The Bronx - only one to properly start with "Tee")is actually on the mainland.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
beginend:
An Old Hacker:
Yep. I can see where this is going: // Create all variables int prbx1, prbx2, prbx3, prbx4, prbx5, prbx6, prby1, prby2, prby3, prby4, prby5, prby6, prbx7, prby7; ...
if (prbx1 > prby6)

What's the problem? It compiles fine. I created the variables, didn't I?

My compiler of choice would actually warn me about declared but uninitialized variables. Do you not get that with Java?
Java™ goes a step further and gives you a compiler error.

Well you can't actually say that, since you don't know what those 3 dots represent, because this

int i,j;
private void lol(){
  if (i<j) {}
}
</pre>
works nicely, or is your compiler super smart.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

student:
Sock Puppet #5:
beginend:
An Old Hacker:
Yep. I can see where this is going: // Create all variables int prbx1, prbx2, prbx3, prbx4, prbx5, prbx6, prby1, prby2, prby3, prby4, prby5, prby6, prbx7, prby7; ...
if (prbx1 > prby6)

What's the problem? It compiles fine. I created the variables, didn't I?

My compiler of choice would actually warn me about declared but uninitialized variables. Do you not get that with Java?
Java™ goes a step further and gives you a compiler error.
Well you can't actually say that, since you don't know what those 3 dots represent, because this
int i,j;
private void lol(){
  if (i<j) {}
}
</pre>
works nicely, or is your compiler super smart.

Numeric values default to 0 at the class level, and Object(reference)s default to null. If you were to do the dangerous...

Object obj1, obj2;
private void omgno() {
  if (obj1.equals(obj2)) {}
}

I don't think you'd even get a warning.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Jack:
Steve H.:
Sock Puppet #5:
Speaking of memes, I think I've tracked all of them down except for "Irish Girl". My guess is it was either an advertised item (busted-tees.com?) or a one-time commenter. Can anyone fill me in?
It comes from a busted-tees advertisement that was displayed on the site every now and then. The image was a cute girl with a shirt that said "Irish I was drunk". A Google search will turn up the site and page. Check out the female type of shirt and you'll see her.
Well the original Irish Girl appeared in an ad on this site (don't remember what for... there's the effectiveness of ads for you) and was a cutie in a green hat. After she disappeared, WTFfers found a similar looking girl on the busted-tees site, but I don't think we've ever established that she was the same person.

See, I've seen the busty busted tees one you're referring to; but I had not nailed down the specific connection with this site.

da Doctah · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Too much free time:
SG 1 to 4. Steam gauges?

I had something else in mind, but you'd need three more chevrons encoded to enter a gate address.

Matt Westwood · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

syockit:
The Fortran code for nuclear reactor simulation I came across looked like this. You had to guess which ascii letter was used to transliterate the symbols used in the original equation. Even though it was coded to compile using fortran 95, it seems like the associate professor made it using only fortran 77 paradigm (notably the DO loop with line marker for CONTINUE, instead of using just END DO).

END DO is valid in Fortran 77. At least, the version on the VAX.

Matt Westwood · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Frank:
Where can you get a 250kW AAA battery?
That would be great for my MP3 player!

250kW is a measure of rate of flow, not a measure of storage capacity. What you said would have been like: I wish my car had a 50 gallon-per-second fuel tank capacity.

Matt Westwood · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Jack:
Steve H.:
Sock Puppet #5:
Speaking of memes, I think I've tracked all of them down except for "Irish Girl". My guess is it was either an advertised item (busted-tees.com?) or a one-time commenter. Can anyone fill me in?
It comes from a busted-tees advertisement that was displayed on the site every now and then. The image was a cute girl with a shirt that said "Irish I was drunk". A Google search will turn up the site and page. Check out the female type of shirt and you'll see her.
Well the original Irish Girl appeared in an ad on this site (don't remember what for... there's the effectiveness of ads for you) and was a cutie in a green hat. After she disappeared, WTFfers found a similar looking girl on the busted-tees site, but I don't think we've ever established that she was the same person.

There's also a ropey old dog who appears on some urban slang dictionary site advertising Snorgtees who gets linked to on this site and confused with Irish Girl on occasion.

hoodaticus · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

frits:
QJo:
brazzy:
Ah yes, the "every character is precious" school of variable naming. I once saw a program by someone who combined this with hungarian notation, eliminating all domain meaning from the variable names. The best part was that he was quite proud how much useful information this scheme conveyed...

The really, really frightening thing here is that the variable names are just meaningful enough to convey the information that this appears to be an application for controlling a nuclear reactor.
OMG, I think your right.

In Java! Holy shit! "Core meltdown in progress. Correction procedures suspended for garbage collection run."

hoodaticus · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

C-Octothorpe:
As far as "featuring" comments goes, a pattern I usually see is that very rarely do any comments past the first page ever get featured. My guess is the author gets busy or loses interest due to zunesis or retarded flame wars.

The author doesn't do the featuring; the admins do.

hoodaticus · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Salami:
Some damn Yank:
Sam:
Sock Puppet #5:
Why would they have a nuclear reactor at a University? Did you read the article?
Research reactors exist.
The public would be alarmed at the number of research reactors in the middle of major metropolitan areas. Georgia Tech in Atlanta, to name one. No need to steal the fuel for your dirty bomb, just park the truck bomb in the right spot... Meanwhile, the TSA fondles 6 year old girls in the name of fighting terrorism.

The University of California had one, but the city of Berkeley made them get of rid of it by making the city a "Nuclear Free Zone".

The Gators have one too. But then, Gatorade lets UF have anything they want. Their sports budget is in the billions.

hoodaticus · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

amischiefr:
Yeah, my first job out of college was like this. The application they had me work on had a Java class called 'ConstantsAndGlobals.java'. This class had 4000 (yes, that's four thousand) lines of variables that were used in various places in the application.

TRWTF.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

I used to hear that all, repeat all the time from my ex PHB. "What's the problem!?" I still wake up sweating and breathing hard. 0200 hours in a lousy San Jose hotel. Shudder. I'd rather have lunch with Hannibal Lector,

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Sam:
Sock Puppet #5:
Why would they have a nuclear reactor at a University? Did you read the article?
Research reactors exist.

When I was at UC Irvine, there was a reactor in basement of the Physical Sciences building - directly below the freshman calculus lecture hall.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

I want to have expensive elective surgery and have your children. Now please come and hammer the message into the very, very large brains of all my algorithm group. I'll pay for the legal fees.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

swim:
You're not allowed to use Java for a nuclear reactor. It's in the license.
"not designed or intended for use in the design, construction, operation or maintenance of any nuclear facility."
Seriously, I'm not making that up.

That language used to be in the license agreement for WinAmp - hope you haven't been using your MP3 player to control a nuclear reactor, either...

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Jack:
Steve H.:
Sock Puppet #5:
Speaking of memes, I think I've tracked all of them down except for "Irish Girl". My guess is it was either an advertised item (busted-tees.com?) or a one-time commenter. Can anyone fill me in?
It comes from a busted-tees advertisement that was displayed on the site every now and then. The image was a cute girl with a shirt that said "Irish I was drunk". A Google search will turn up the site and page. Check out the female type of shirt and you'll see her.
Well the original Irish Girl appeared in an ad on this site (don't remember what for... there's the effectiveness of ads for you) and was a cutie in a green hat. After she disappeared, WTFfers found a similar looking girl on the busted-tees site, but I don't think we've ever established that she was the same person.

http://thedailywtf.com/Comments/Circling-the-Solution.aspx?pg=2#226977

Damn you Askimet. Its a page on this site.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

monkeyPushButton:
Jack:
Well the original Irish Girl appeared in an ad on this site (don't remember what for... there's the effectiveness of ads for you) and was a cutie in a green hat. After she disappeared, WTFfers found a similar looking girl on the busted-tees site, but I don't think we've ever established that she was the same person.

http://thedailywtf.com/Comments/Circling-the-Solution.aspx?pg=2#226977

Damn you Askimet. Its a page on this site.

Definitely a different girl. I'd recognize those lips anywhere. [image] Man, now I'm dying to titty-fuck that chick. Guess your mom's carpet-draggers are gonna have to do.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

[anti-ipod]sys - Just dropping by!:
I'd recognize those lips anywhere.

She has lips?

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Jack:
[anti-ipod]sys - Just dropping by!:
I'd recognize those lips anywhere.

She has lips?

This.

captcha: conventio - oral sex convention

hoodaticus · 2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Jack:
[anti-ipod]sys - Just dropping by!:
I'd recognize those lips anywhere.
She has lips?

All I see are boobies.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Jack:
[anti-ipod]sys - Just dropping by!:
I'd recognize those lips anywhere.
She has lips?

Of course, they're just not visible in this picture.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Don't apologize, that's exactly what I clicked through from rss to do.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Jack:
Steve H.:
Sock Puppet #5:
Speaking of memes, I think I've tracked all of them down except for "Irish Girl". My guess is it was either an advertised item (busted-tees.com?) or a one-time commenter. Can anyone fill me in?
It comes from a busted-tees advertisement that was displayed on the site every now and then. The image was a cute girl with a shirt that said "Irish I was drunk". A Google search will turn up the site and page. Check out the female type of shirt and you'll see her.
Well the original Irish Girl appeared in an ad on this site (don't remember what for... there's the effectiveness of ads for you) and was a cutie in a green hat. After she disappeared, WTFfers found a similar looking girl on the busted-tees site, but I don't think we've ever established that she was the same person.

I think you have that backwards. Everyone in that thread was talking about the NEW irish girl.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Jack:
Well the original Irish Girl appeared in an ad on this site (don't remember what for... there's the effectiveness of ads for you) and was a cutie in a green hat. After she disappeared, WTFfers found a similar looking girl on the busted-tees site, but I don't think we've ever established that she was the same person.

The Busted-tee girl is the original. Green hat girl was an author/publisher's probably successful attempt to market his product relating it to an established meme.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Steve H.:
Jack:
Steve H.:
Sock Puppet #5:
Speaking of memes, I think I've tracked all of them down except for "Irish Girl". My guess is it was either an advertised item (busted-tees.com?) or a one-time commenter. Can anyone fill me in?
It comes from a busted-tees advertisement that was displayed on the site every now and then. The image was a cute girl with a shirt that said "Irish I was drunk". A Google search will turn up the site and page. Check out the female type of shirt and you'll see her.
Well the original Irish Girl appeared in an ad on this site (don't remember what for... there's the effectiveness of ads for you) and was a cutie in a green hat. After she disappeared, WTFfers found a similar looking girl on the busted-tees site, but I don't think we've ever established that she was the same person.
I think you have that backwards. Everyone in that thread was talking about the NEW irish girl.

That link was sufficient, however, for me to determine that the origin was a banner ad. It would be cool to see the original "irish girl" name applied to the sidebar ad in some form or fashion, but I'm definitely not willing to go digging through the sewers of antiquity to find it.

2011-08-17 Reply Admin

Sock Puppet #5:
Steve H.:
I think you have that backwards. Everyone in that thread was talking about the NEW irish girl.
That link was sufficient, however, for me to determine that the origin was a banner ad. It would be cool to see the original "irish girl" name applied to the sidebar ad in some form or fashion, but I'm definitely not willing to go digging through the sewers of antiquity to find it.

If you're digging through TDWTF history, check out SpectateSwamp's DesktopSearch (SSDS) at the sidebar forum, search for the "foosball girl" meme (+picture) and mainly delight yourself with T0pCod3r's trolling art. Supposing any of his posts survived the mods's fury, of course.

The Alumni Variables

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