• (cs)

    she got offered the role despite her sense of humour fail?

  • Bicycle Pirate (unregistered)

    Arrrr, why do those douchenozzles have to wear sponsor-laden spandex while riding their bicycle to work? I am ashamed to be a bicyclist when packs of them ride by. Nobody is sponsoring them either! Seriously, normal shorts or jeans and a t-shirt work just as well. Even if you're cycling 50+ miles you don't need spandex or any of that junk.

  • (cs)
    Being a heavily male-dominated office (like most in the IT world), he could get away with this.
    Before drinking coffee, I thought you meant the office was dominated by heavy males. Heavy men on bicycles is one thing, but heavy men in spandex was...

    It took a few more reads to erase the tape.

  • masseyis (unregistered) in reply to Junkie
    Junkie:
    Being a heavily male-dominated office (like most in the IT world), he could get away with this.
    Before drinking coffee, I thought you meant the office was dominated by heavy males. Heavy men on bicycles is one thing, but heavy men in spandex was...

    It took a few more reads to erase the tape.

    Obligatory: [url]http://xkcd.com/37/[url]

  • Pawel23 (unregistered)

    I especially like this one from the resumes: http://livelyarsenic.deviantart.com/art/architecture-resume-97693668 Yep, it is printed and shoot on a wooden table. Priceless. :)

  • SB (unregistered)

    Is the real what the fudge the fact that no one in office asked colleague to stop wearing spandex ? I'd last about two days before cracking.

  • Matt (unregistered) in reply to Bicycle Pirate
    Bicycle Pirate:
    Arrrr, why do those douchenozzles have to wear sponsor-laden spandex while riding their bicycle to work? I am ashamed to be a bicyclist when packs of them ride by.
    Maybe if packs of them are riding by you, their spandex helps them ride faster. Jus sayin...

    {second post attempt}

  • (cs) in reply to Junkie
    Junkie:
    Being a heavily male-dominated office (like most in the IT world), he could get away with this.
    Before drinking coffee, I thought you meant the office was dominated by heavy males. Heavy men on bicycles is one thing, but heavy men in spandex was...

    It took a few more reads to erase the tape.

    I'm still wondering why Alex is referring to the office as 'he'.

  • H.R. (unregistered)

    Rule 1. Do not joke during an interview. Otherwise you would have to tell the same joke to every candidate, to keep things equal.

    Rule 2. Especially do not joke to a female candidate. Unlike everywhere else on the planet, when at work, females do not like jokes and they will sue your ass into next fiscal year.

    Rule 3. And whatever you do, never ever joke to a qualified female candidate who is a woman!

  • Roland Studer (unregistered)

    [quote]Needless to say, that "graphic designer" was never considered.[quote]

    The person who faxed this, really stood out. If this were the cover of a well designed portfolio, the applicant might be a genius…

  • hinek (unregistered)

    I don't know what followed the cover letter, but I think it's a great idea: It really stands out, exactly what you want ...

    I would have considered this person for a position which needs creativity ... such as ehm ... designer ...

  • hinek (unregistered) in reply to Roland Studer

    wow, I was too slow ... exactly my thinking ...

  • (cs) in reply to H.R.
    H.R.:
    Rule 3. And whatever you do, never ever joke to a qualified female candidate who is a woman!
    As opposed to a female candidate that is a transvestite? Or maybe the man counterpart in a lesbian relationship?

    Rule#0: never hire women in a programming shop. They smell, they're distracting, they bitch all the time. Hire the fat nerdy guy that has no life. Coworkers won't be distracted, and he'll work extra hours because he has nothing better to do than go home and play WoW.

  • (cs)

    If you ask me, she's just a wee-bit hypersensitive; I mean, hey, at least no one offered her Pants-Free Fridays. Honestly, some dude in a biking suit is nothing to worry about unless you're the type of nutjob who is trapped in the dark ages of personal and societal maturation.

    That's the kind of personal defect that, in my opinion, for my ideal office environment, can disqualify even the most technically skilled candidate. Laugh about it or leave, just do it in the interview, please.

  • Matt Jeffryes (unregistered) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    H.R.:
    Rule 3. And whatever you do, never ever joke to a qualified female candidate who is a woman!
    As opposed to a female candidate that is a transvestite? Or maybe the man counterpart in a lesbian relationship?

    Rule#0: never hire women in a programming shop. They smell, they're distracting, they bitch all the time. Hire the fat nerdy guy that has no life. Coworkers won't be distracted, and he'll work extra hours because he has nothing better to do than go home and play WoW.

    Or better still, don't hire someone based on their gender, since it's against the law in most places, and makes you seem shallow and closed minded.

  • Steve H (unregistered)
    Being female, she was pretty much guaranteed a job offer as soon as she sent in her résumé

    That's pretty much the Real WTF right there, not least because it's true.

  • (cs) in reply to NSCoder
    NSCoder:
    Junkie:
    Being a heavily male-dominated office (like most in the IT world), he could get away with this.
    Before drinking coffee, I thought you meant the office was dominated by heavy males. Heavy men on bicycles is one thing, but heavy men in spandex was...

    It took a few more reads to erase the tape.

    I'm still wondering why Alex is referring to the office as 'he'.

    Oh, I always call a gang "she." It's like when you call a boat "she" or a hurricane "she."

  • (cs)

    Wow, those graphic designer resumes are terrible. Resumes are supposed to contain information and it should only take 30 seconds to read one over. If you'd have to take half a day to figure it out, it should be going in the garbage after 30 seconds.

    As a commenter on the linked site said, resumes are to communicate information efficiently. Portfolios are to show off creativity or skill.

  • OldCoder (unregistered) in reply to Bicycle Pirate
    Bicycle Pirate:
    Arrrr, why do those douchenozzles have to wear sponsor-laden spandex while riding their bicycle to work? I am ashamed to be a bicyclist when packs of them ride by. Nobody is sponsoring them either! Seriously, normal shorts or jeans and a t-shirt work just as well. Even if you're cycling 50+ miles you don't need spandex or any of that junk.

    So you have an infinite supply of work clothes, then? Riding more than about 4 miles each way every day will trash whatever you're wearing, so it's something fresh every day - or smell.

    Jeans? You obviously don't live in a climate which includes rain.

    Plus, wearing the currect clothing (i) keeps you cool when you need to be (ii) is more comfortable to ride in and (iii) is a great deal lighter in weight than the alternatives.

    I used to cycle to work, distances varied from 2.5 miles to 13. 2.5 is doable in work clothes, more really isn't. That's still no excuse for not changing when you get there.

  • (cs) in reply to H.R.
    H.R.:
    Rule 1. Do not joke during an interview. Otherwise you would have to tell the same joke to every candidate, to keep things equal.
    I had a good laugh (and a WTF) at the article, but your rule #1 is priceless.
  • (cs) in reply to OldCoder
    OldCoder:
    Jeans? You obviously don't live in a climate which includes rain.
    If you get rain while cycling, you're fucked anyway. Or are you going to tell us that spandex is so much better than denim to hold out water?
  • Slicerwizard (unregistered) in reply to OldCoder
    OldCoder:
    So you have an infinite supply of work clothes, then? Riding more than about 4 miles each way every day will trash whatever you're wearing, so it's something fresh every day - or smell.
    Uh, it should be fresh clothes every day whether you cycled to work or not. Yes, even for geeks.
  • RoverDaddy (unregistered) in reply to xtremezone
    xtremezone:
    Wow, those graphic designer resumes are terrible. Resumes are supposed to contain information and it should only take 30 seconds to read one over. If you'd have to take half a day to figure it out, it should be going in the garbage after 30 seconds.

    As a commenter on the linked site said, resumes are to communicate information efficiently. Portfolios are to show off creativity or skill.

    Apparently the poster believes that designer resumes are meant to directly convey the candidates design skills and originality. Maybe this particular candidate didn't know about that 'rule' and simply provided their resume in the most efficient way possible. Perhaps they were actually the most qualified candidate for the job?

    Of course, I have no experience being a graphic designer or trying to hire one, but I do know that programming candidates don't write their resumes in code.

    Verto: as in, "After seeing those resumes I felt a case of extreme verto coming on."

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to OldCoder
    OldCoder:
    Bicycle Pirate:
    Arrrr, why do those douchenozzles have to wear sponsor-laden spandex while riding their bicycle to work? I am ashamed to be a bicyclist when packs of them ride by. Nobody is sponsoring them either! Seriously, normal shorts or jeans and a t-shirt work just as well. Even if you're cycling 50+ miles you don't need spandex or any of that junk.

    So you have an infinite supply of work clothes, then? Riding more than about 4 miles each way every day will trash whatever you're wearing, so it's something fresh every day - or smell.

    Jeans? You obviously don't live in a climate which includes rain.

    Plus, wearing the currect clothing (i) keeps you cool when you need to be (ii) is more comfortable to ride in and (iii) is a great deal lighter in weight than the alternatives.

    I used to cycle to work, distances varied from 2.5 miles to 13. 2.5 is doable in work clothes, more really isn't. That's still no excuse for not changing when you get there.

    You mean to tell me you don't wear fresh clothes every day? Regardless of whether you cycle or not and whether you change from your cycling clothes or not? And, I hope, you change the cycling clothes once in a while. It doesn't require infinite work clothes, it requires a washing machine and maybe an iron (depending on the dress code where you work).

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to xtremezone
    xtremezone:
    Wow, those graphic designer resumes are terrible. Resumes are supposed to contain information and it should only take 30 seconds to read one over. If you'd have to take half a day to figure it out, it should be going in the garbage after 30 seconds.

    As a commenter on the linked site said, resumes are to communicate information efficiently. Portfolios are to show off creativity or skill.

    My thoughts too. Some of them are very clever and pretty, but if I can't even figure out where I'm suppose to start, then it kind of fails. Even as a designer, the aim should be communication, and on that front, some of them fail miserably.

  • Inhibeo (unregistered) in reply to Adriano
    Adriano:
    If you get rain while cycling, you're fucked anyway. Or are you going to tell us that spandex is so much better than denim to hold out water?
    Actually, yes. Cotton retains moisture like a sponge and can soak thoroughly. Spandex will wick moisture away from your body and dry much faster.

    Of course, you don't need to wear skin-tight clothing and be a douche in the office. Loose-fitting synthetic fiber clothing works just as well.

  • (cs) in reply to Steve H
    Steve H:
    Being female, she was pretty much guaranteed a job offer as soon as she sent in her résumé

    That's pretty much the Real WTF right there, not least because it's true.

    Sweet. I'll be golden in my next job search then. And for the record, that comment about full body spandex wouldn't have phased me had the rest of the interview been good. If I were comfortable with the interviewer I probably would have brought up Pants-Free Friday in my response.

    Women in IT need to have a sense of humor and a LOT of self-confidence.

  • JohnB (unregistered) in reply to Matt
    Matt:
    Bicycle Pirate:
    Arrrr, why do those douchenozzles have to wear sponsor-laden spandex while riding their bicycle to work? I am ashamed to be a bicyclist when packs of them ride by.
    Maybe if packs of them are riding by you, their spandex helps them ride faster. Jus sayin...

    {second post attempt}

    Or OP is going east and they're going west.

  • (cs) in reply to JohnB

    Is the real WTF in #2 the fact that he declined free beer ?

  • mace (unregistered) in reply to xtremezone
    xtremezone:
    Wow, those graphic designer resumes are terrible. Resumes are supposed to contain information and it should only take 30 seconds to read one over. If you'd have to take half a day to figure it out, it should be going in the garbage after 30 seconds.

    As a commenter on the linked site said, resumes are to communicate information efficiently. Portfolios are to show off creativity or skill.

    Just what I was thinking. If I was a recruiter with job openings now, I'd probably have about 10,000 resumes on my desk. Maybe graphic designer recruiters think differently, but if I look at a resume and can't figure out whether you meet the basic qualifications in about 10 seconds, it's going in the trash. Which applies to at least 95% of the resumes on that site.

    I thought part of practical graphic design was being able to communicate information efficiently. Most of these people managed to prove that they're terrible at it before they even set for in the building.

  • action roommate (unregistered)
    When it came to hiring a new developer, we found that rarest of gems: a qualified female candidate.

    Did anyone else do a double-take at this phrase?

    "Wow, would you believe we someone with a vagina who can program! I know! I thought they weren't allowed to leave the kitchen!"

    Dude, even if it's true it's a tasteless thing to say.

  • Crash Magnet (unregistered) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    H.R.:
    Rule 3. And whatever you do, never ever joke to a qualified female candidate who is a woman!
    As opposed to a female candidate that is a transvestite? Or maybe the man counterpart in a lesbian relationship?

    Feminist make a great deal of the difference between the words female and woman. A female describe the gender of an animal, whereas a woman is the gender of a human. You'll sometimes catch feminist writting sentences like "the worman and the male...". The male in this sentense is not even human.

  • (cs) in reply to OldCoder
    OldCoder:
    I used to cycle to work, distances varied from 2.5 miles to 13. 2.5 is doable in work clothes, more really isn't. That's still no excuse for not changing when you get there.
    So you'd cycle into work while wearing work clothes and then, once you're there, change into spandex?

    I think I don't wish to investigate that thought further...

  • The guy (unregistered) in reply to xtremezone
    xtremezone:
    Wow, those graphic designer resumes are terrible. Resumes are supposed to contain information and it should only take 30 seconds to read one over. If you'd have to take half a day to figure it out, it should be going in the garbage after 30 seconds.

    As a commenter on the linked site said, resumes are to communicate information efficiently. Portfolios are to show off creativity or skill.

    I think you're missing the point a little bit. For a graphic designer, the #1 qualification is what they can produce. For a designer, the portfolio is much more important than anything on the resume, so conveying all those little details in 30 seconds isn't really important. Giving the employer a taste of your portfolio in 30 seconds is vital. If they like what they see, then will keep the resume and look further at the details on the second pass.

    It may be backwards from what you expect in a technical, IT world, but that's the way it is.

  • (cs) in reply to Anon
    Anon:
    My thoughts too. Some of them are very clever and pretty, but if I can't even figure out where I'm suppose to start, then it kind of fails.
    Took me a moment to realise you weren't commenting on the female candidate thread !
  • SR (unregistered)

    There's no excuse for wearing an all-in-one cycling suit at work. Wear it in if you must but get changed.

    You're at work, so put some fncking trousers on! How difficult is that?

  • Robb (unregistered) in reply to Inhibeo

    It's the same with wandering around the woods, backpacking. You will want clothes that wick away moisture, not hold it on your skin.

    Also, all the cyclist here change and some even shower before entering the office. Sort of an un-written rule. Wearing full spandex would surely cause that person to be ridiculed until they changed anyways.

    (I work on an air force base)

  • Anonymous Crowd (unregistered) in reply to SB

    SB:

    SB:
    Is the real what the fudge the fact that no one in office asked colleague to stop wearing spandex ? I'd last about two days before cracking.

    O RLY?

    How, exactly, are you going to do this without exposing massive "latent homosexuality" issues within yourself?

    "Could you please stop wearing spandex?!"

    "Why?"

    "It makes me uncomfortable. The way it hugs your well-developed chest, the way it clings to your sculpted buttocks...Errrr..."

    OTOH, if these feelings aren't svery latent, then it wouldn't be a problem I suppose...

  • Robb (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Crowd

    Ned Flanders: Feels like i'm wearing nothing at all!!

  • the female (unregistered)

    As a qualified female programmer, I always thought it was harder for me to get an offer, after all, who is more probably going to fit in, one of the guys or this strange specimen from another species that the guys feel awkward with?

  • Bobble (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous Crowd
    Anonymous Crowd:
    SB:
    SB:
    Is the real what the fudge the fact that no one in office asked colleague to stop wearing spandex ? I'd last about two days before cracking.

    O RLY?

    How, exactly, are you going to do this without exposing massive "latent homosexuality" issues within yourself?

    "Could you please stop wearing spandex?!"

    "Why?"

    "It makes me uncomfortable. The way it hugs your well-developed chest, the way it clings to your sculpted buttocks...Errrr..."

    OTOH, if these feelings aren't svery latent, then it wouldn't be a problem I suppose...

    No. You just tell him that spandex is not appropriate attire for the work place and offer him a place to change.

    Then offer him head while he's changing. No risk of exposing latent homosexuality. You'll just expose full blown homosexuality.

  • Whateverfor (unregistered) in reply to action roommate
    action roommate:
    When it came to hiring a new developer, we found that rarest of gems: a qualified female candidate.

    Did anyone else do a double-take at this phrase?

    "Wow, would you believe we someone with a vagina who can program! I know! I thought they weren't allowed to leave the kitchen!"

    Dude, even if it's true it's a tasteless thing to say.

    It's not that women can't program, they obviously can. At least at my college, they were among the brighter students. All five of them.

    Women just don't want to become programmers. It's not that great a field to work in anyway, it's really not that surprising.

  • (cs) in reply to Bobble
    Bobble:
    Anonymous Crowd:
    SB:
    SB:
    Is the real what the fudge the fact that no one in office asked colleague to stop wearing spandex ? I'd last about two days before cracking.

    O RLY?

    How, exactly, are you going to do this without exposing massive "latent homosexuality" issues within yourself?

    "Could you please stop wearing spandex?!"

    "Why?"

    "It makes me uncomfortable. The way it hugs your well-developed chest, the way it clings to your sculpted buttocks...Errrr..."

    OTOH, if these feelings aren't svery latent, then it wouldn't be a problem I suppose...

    No. You just tell him that spandex is not appropriate attire for the work place and offer him a place to change.

    Then offer him head while he's changing. No risk of exposing latent homosexuality. You'll just expose full blown homosexuality.

    Either that, or you could comment him every day on how nice his moose-knuckle looks. Eventually, unless he's a fag, he'll start to feel uncomfortable and stop wearing the god damned suit.

  • Bim Job (unregistered) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    Either that, or you could comment him every day on how nice his moose-knuckle looks. Eventually, unless he's a fag, he'll start to feel uncomfortable and stop wearing the god damned suit.
    First time I've ever heard of the phrase "moose knuckle," so I headed over to Urban Dictionary to check it out.

    Whaddya know? The banner ads for the "moose knuckle" definition feature brand new pictures of Irish Girl...

    I'm not sure what to make of this.

  • SR (unregistered) in reply to Bim Job
    Bim Job:
    First time I've ever heard of the phrase "moose knuckle," so I headed over to Urban Dictionary to check it out.

    Whaddya know? The banner ads for the "moose knuckle" definition feature brand new pictures of Irish Girl...

    I'm not sure what to make of this.

    That'll teach me to just guess!

  • morry (unregistered)

    I used to cycle into work every day in Switzerland and it did rain regularly - there's a reason why it's so green there. Bring or wear a damned raincoat or parka. I always rode in my business casual and occasionally in a full suit. Admittedly it wasn't very far (4km at most, never actually measured), but still.

  • (cs) in reply to OldCoder
    OldCoder:
    So you have an infinite supply of work clothes, then? Riding more than about 4 miles each way every day will trash whatever you're wearing, so it's something fresh every day - or smell.

    And wearing the spandex all day long avoids this problem, how?

  • Bosshog (unregistered) in reply to pitchingchris
    pitchingchris:
    Is the real WTF in #2 the fact that he declined free beer ?
    Finally, someone is making sense!
  • Jan (unregistered) in reply to Bicycle Pirate

    No, you cannot get by in just jeans and t-shirt if you're doing anything over 20 - 30 km a day. You really need some comfort down there, if you get my drift.

    I ride up to 60 km a day, so I really know what I'm talking about. I always have a shower and I do wear office-friendly clothes, though.

  • the beholder (unregistered) in reply to action roommate
    action roommate:
    When it came to hiring a new developer, we found that rarest of gems: a qualified female candidate.

    Did anyone else do a double-take at this phrase?

    "Wow, would you believe we someone with a vagina who can program! I know! I thought they weren't allowed to leave the kitchen!"

    Dude, even if it's true it's a tasteless thing to say.

    action roommate, I'm really happy for you, and I'll let you finish, but T0pCod3r did some of the best trolling in this site of all time.

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