• Ozz (unregistered) in reply to Pim
    Pim:
    It's a nice story, but after the end, where it says,
    (...) the students learned to avoid it. As for The Monster, to this day it stands alone, running noisily and immobilized in its dungeon, (...)
    I'm left wondering what it's doing, what tasks it's running now.
    The pig go. Go is to the fountain. The pig put foot. Grunt. Foot in what? ketchup. The dove fly. Fly is in sky. The dove drop something. The something on the pig. The pig disgusting. The pig rattle. Rattle with dove. The dove angry. The pig leave. The dove produce. Produce is chicken wing. With wing bark. No Quack.
  • Blackice (unregistered) in reply to Basseq
    Basseq:
    Sam Tyler:
    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. Then I formatted the hard drive and installed Linux and they no longer call me for computer support. Long live Linux!

    Sam, AKA "Bob", strikes again!

    http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/The-Receptionist-Test.aspx

    Heh, as amusing as the fanboys like Bob are, they are not completely off-base. After running Linux at home for almost six months, I ended up spending several nights fixing my uncle's xp installation that had gone fubar, only to grow more and more frustrated. Since he only uses his PC for email and the web I convinced him to let me install ubuntu, with the guarantee that I would support him remotely (via ssh), and revert it to windows if he decided that he didn't like it. The result? No more random crashes and lockups and "Have you rebooted yet?" conversations, and most importantly, no more hour drive to apply a 10 minute fix.

    Forcing an OS on someone is never a good idea, (or in Bob's case, offering a solution that is way out of scope with the problem) but I think that most users don't realize what they are missing, or even that there is an alternative.

  • Ed (unregistered) in reply to AT
    AT:
    "The students literarily drooled"

    Well, there's your problem: it was obviously a high-brow liberal arts school.

    Drool on mainboard, problem solved.

  • Big Brother (unregistered)

    My parents used to ask me to help fix problems with my sister. Then I got her on Prozac and they no longer call me for support. Long live drugs!

  • Matt (unregistered) in reply to Anon.
    Anon.:
    Nathan:
    GARY O:
    My computer used to ask me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion...

    Long live recursion!

    This is the problem you get when you forget your base case. Gotta CTRL+C that comment or wait for the comment-stack to blow.

    This is the problem you get when you forget your base case. Gotta CTRL+C that comment or wait for the comment-stack to blow.

    This is the problem you get when you forget your base case. Gotta CTRL+C that comment or wait for the comment-stack to blow.

  • blah (unregistered)

    Typical IBM. Left hand and right hand barely know each other's names.

    My first experience of this phenomenon was in PC Magazine many years ago. An ad on one page boasted about the utter superiority of OS/2. Several pages later, an ad for IBM PCs, with the first bullet point: Preinstalled with the best operating system, Windows 3.1!

    My other experience was only a couple years ago. We did contract work for Big Sue. One of our tasks involved writing ready-to-use real-world applications for their framework, for which IBM only wrote barebones samples. To help sell the overall product, we also did thorough performance testing of our functional software. My coworker spent months onsite, painstakingly (manually) trying different threading configurations to see how much our software could churn out on their platform.

    What happens? Months down the road, the sales drone (who was our main contact throughout) got back to us with news that a prospective customer wasn't seeing anywhere near the published rates. It turns out that despite my coworker's blood sweat and tears, the geniuses published performance numbers from the IBM lab running the skeleton sample code. Way to go!

  • (cs) in reply to Pim
    Pim:
    It's a nice story, but after the end, where it says,
    (...) the students learned to avoid it. As for The Monster, to this day it stands alone, running noisily and immobilized in its dungeon, (...)
    I'm left wondering what it's doing, what tasks it's running now.
    It's making plans to take over the world.
  • Blackice (unregistered) in reply to Sam Tyler

    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. Then I installed neural network software and it began learning at a geometric rate. Long live Skynet!

  • John Doe (unregistered)

    Hihi, I struggled for a year with that machine... It is probably the most expensive clothes dryer around at this moment...

  • Frog2099 (unregistered) in reply to BobB
    BobB:
    This reminds me of when I was in college and we received an NCR 'teradata' server. Well, when I say we I mean the business education department. The rest of we, the nerds over at the comp sci department were not allowed to touch it. In fact, we were not allowed to even think about it for about two semesters or so. Eventually the business ed department let us start using it and playing with it. Namely because in the whole year they had it they were not able to find a single use for any of their students. Accountants, business majors, etc had no use for it.

    When it got turned over to us we all literally cackled with glee. It was the slow to yourself cackle that built into a full on crow convention after a few minutes. As it turned out, they got the machine, but no documentation for anything on the machine. So by trial and error we began playing and running scripts to get this creature to generate large amounts of dummy data for us to play with. Much of their documentation they did provide so far as the sql functionality of it was worded, "It's just like SQL, but..." and you would have to pay $5k for a manual to find out why your otherwise normal sql query would suddenly start churning out messages along the lines of "System Board 121 has crashed, attempting recovery..."

    Towards the end of my intro to DBs class we began treating the server, (which got it's own building BTW, complete with mirrored windows, new environmental controls, even a new set of name letters) as an object of mild curiosity whose sole purpose was to showcase the subtle differences in database queries.

    You went to USC too?

  • Ben4jammin (unregistered) in reply to alegr
    alegr:
    Pim:
    It's a nice story, but after the end, where it says,
    (...) the students learned to avoid it. As for The Monster, to this day it stands alone, running noisily and immobilized in its dungeon, (...)
    I'm left wondering what it's doing, what tasks it's running now.
    It's making plans to take over the world.

    OK, since no one else will do it, here is our obscure movie quote:

    If you connect to it, it asks:

    "Shall we play a game?"

  • Zach Bora (unregistered)

    I don't really see the WTF here, this is pretty normal. The company makes a donation with a broken system they had and it helps with tax report. Then they also make support donation.

  • (cs) in reply to DaveK
    DaveK:
    kastein:
    Anon:
    TRWTF is why it's not been ebayed
    $0.99 NR SUPERCOMPUTER LQQK!!!

    ... $500k shipping, no local pickup allowed.

    ... instead of computer, package contained rabid XKCD reference. Would not buy again WTF++++++++++++

    Hey look. Someone knows how to make an XKCD reference and have it actually be funny. Think you could teach everyone else around here?

  • SAMO (unregistered)

    "My parents" as it would appear as a column in the daily wtf:

    It was Jimmy X's first year out of the house. He was living on his own, had a clutch job, driving a new car, and he had just met a new girl who seemed very interested in him as well. Everything was going great. On his way home from work one day he had been thinking, "Wow, I've got it made in the shade."

    When Jimmy got home that night, he had a voicemail. "Hi Jimmy, it's your mom. Your sister just bought us a new computer but it has windows vista installed and your father wants to install xp instead. He can't seem to do it, so could you help him fix it?"

    So the next Saturday Jimmy spent all day trying to format his parent's new computer to install xp. But then the cd drive would not be recognized and an outdated version of BIOS was causing all heaps of trouble. Several hours and many burned boot discs later, Jimmy hadn't made any progress. What's worse, he had to cancel his date for that night.

    Finally, at 2am, Jimmy was getting extremely frustrated. His sister came through the door from a long night of partying. She walked up to jimmy and asked why he was using the new computer she bought her parents.

    When Jimmy gave a tired explanation, the sister said, "Instead of windows vista, why don't you install windows mojave instead? It's better right?"

    "Long live microsoft." Jimmy thought to himself.

  • Noob (unregistered)

    Frist expert comment from overseas!

  • ThingGuy McGuyThing (unregistered) in reply to St Mary's Hospital for the Holy Nerds
    St Mary's Hospital for the Holy Nerds:
    powerlord:
    Big Green, huh?

    I can't PossIBlly iMagine what company that's supposed to be.

    PIBM?

    PIMB???

    Personal Pimps?

    Pain In My Bum?

  • (cs)

    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a computer my sister gave them. Then I realized I didn't have a sister. Next thing I knew, I was standing naked on a dais, while little blue women were throwing pickles at me. When I woke, I was sitting in a giant vat of spaghetti.

    Long live Ambien!

  • Gary O (unregistered) in reply to SAMO
    SAMO:
    "My parents" as it would appear as a column in the daily wtf:

    It was Jimmy X's first year out of the house. He was living on his own, had a clutch job, driving a new car, and he had just met a new girl who seemed very interested in him as well. Everything was going great. On his way home from work one day he had been thinking, "Wow, I've got it made in the shade."

    When Jimmy got home that night, he had a voicemail. "Hi Jimmy, it's your mom. Your sister just bought us a new computer but it has windows vista installed and your father wants to install xp instead. He can't seem to do it, so could you help him fix it?"

    So the next Saturday Jimmy spent all day trying to format his parent's new computer to install xp. But then the cd drive would not be recognized and an outdated version of BIOS was causing all heaps of trouble. Several hours and many burned boot discs later, Jimmy hadn't made any progress. What's worse, he had to cancel his date for that night.

    Finally, at 2am, Jimmy was getting extremely frustrated. His sister came through the door from a long night of partying. She walked up to jimmy and asked why he was using the new computer she bought her parents.

    When Jimmy gave a tired explanation, the sister said, "Instead of windows vista, why don't you install windows mojave instead? It's better right?"

    "Long live microsoft." Jimmy thought to himself.

    Bravo.

  • (cs)

    I never had a sister and I really miss her.

  • (cs) in reply to alegr
    alegr:
    Pim:
    It's a nice story, but after the end, where it says,
    (...) the students learned to avoid it. As for The Monster, to this day it stands alone, running noisily and immobilized in its dungeon, (...)
    I'm left wondering what it's doing, what tasks it's running now.
    It's making plans to take over the world.
    What are we going to do today, Univac?
  • (cs) in reply to Stephen
    Stephen:

    My sister is a whore.

  • (cs) in reply to SAMO
    SAMO:
    "Hi Jimmy, it's your mom. Your sister just bought us a new computer but it has windows vista installed and your father wants to install xp instead. He can't seem to do it, so could you help him fix it?"

    So the next Saturday Jimmy spent all day trying to format his parent's new computer to install xp. But then the cd drive would not be recognized and an outdated version of BIOS was causing all heaps of trouble. (...)

    I call BS. A new computer with Vista preinstalled won't have a BIOS that is too outdated for a proper XP install. Jimmy didn't want to install XP, did he? He wanted to install Linux instead!

  • Zapp Brannigan (unregistered)

    Never before have so many been trolled so much by someone will less of a clue.

  • warren ds (unregistered) in reply to Pim
    Pim:
    SAMO:
    "Hi Jimmy, it's your mom. Your sister just bought us a new computer but it has windows vista installed and your father wants to install xp instead. He can't seem to do it, so could you help him fix it?"

    So the next Saturday Jimmy spent all day trying to format his parent's new computer to install xp. But then the cd drive would not be recognized and an outdated version of BIOS was causing all heaps of trouble. (...)

    I call BS. A new computer with Vista preinstalled won't have a BIOS that is too outdated for a proper XP install. Jimmy didn't want to install XP, did he? He wanted to install Linux instead!

    I have run into this, too. It is perceived as an out of date bios but it's put in place as a measure to prevent xp installation so that microsoft ensures you use the restore disks. You know how microsoft requires you to format to get rid of vista? well, they took it one step further with BIOS in new laptops. There is a work around but it's machine specific.

  • Patrick (unregistered) in reply to DOA
    DOA:
    GettinSadda:
    If I was that professor, I would spend the whole first lecture to any class detailing the whole sorry incident, and end by saying "When you have passed this course and have high-level IT jobs in major companies or government departments, remember just how awful Big Green are and ensure that your company or government never buys from them".

    I would video the whole lecture and send copies to the CEO and all board members at Big Green.

    So... you want to publicly badmouth a large company with its own team of lawyers and send them the video? Let me know how that works out for you.

    It's not slander if it's true.

  • Charles (unregistered)

    I'm not surprised. Big Green doesn't care about the systems it sells anymore. Big Green makes all of it's green in service contracts. Hardware? Software? It's no BFD to them.

  • (cs) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    alegr:
    Pim:
    It's a nice story, but after the end, where it says,
    (...) the students learned to avoid it. As for The Monster, to this day it stands alone, running noisily and immobilized in its dungeon, (...)
    I'm left wondering what it's doing, what tasks it's running now.
    It's making plans to take over the world.
    What are we going to do today, Univac?
    Same as we do every day, Pinky. Try to divide by zero. [image]
  • wlao (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    alegr:
    Pim:
    It's a nice story, but after the end, where it says,
    (...) the students learned to avoid it. As for The Monster, to this day it stands alone, running noisily and immobilized in its dungeon, (...)
    I'm left wondering what it's doing, what tasks it's running now.
    It's making plans to take over the world.
    What are we going to do today, Univac?
    It's trying to find its way out. "You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike..."
  • Walleye (unregistered) in reply to Steenbergh
    Steenbergh:
    My parents used to ask me for a fix. But drugs are bad!

    Then you're using the wrong drugs.

  • BigMonkeySucker (unregistered) in reply to Ben4jammin

    Sure, how about Global Thermonuclear War?

  • monkeyPushButton (unregistered) in reply to Matt
    Matt:
    Anon.:
    Nathan:
    GARY O:
    My computer used to ask me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion. Then I took it away and gave it some recursion and it asked me to fix problems with my recursion...

    Long live recursion!

    This is the problem you get when you forget your base case. Gotta CTRL+C that comment or wait for the comment-stack to blow.

    This is the problem you get when you forget your base case. Gotta CTRL+C that comment or wait for the comment-stack to blow.

    This is the problem you get when you forget your base case. Gotta CTRL+C that comment or wait for the comment-stack to blow.

    This is the problem when you beat a joke to death.

  • (cs) in reply to warren ds
    warren ds:
    I have run into this, too. It is perceived as an out of date bios but it's put in place as a measure to prevent xp installation so that microsoft ensures you use the restore disks. You know how microsoft requires you to format to get rid of vista? well, they took it one step further with BIOS in new laptops. There is a work around but it's machine specific.

    Ok, I was aware that Microsoft lives somewhere near the bottom of the barrel. However, I wasn't aware they already cut a hole through the bottom and now live below the whole frigging barrel. Making BIOS appear to be out of date to prevent XP installations? I mean how damn low can you get?

    Curious though, how does Vista 'require' formatting to get rid of it? How else would you install any different OS when another one is in-place? I suppose a WUBI install would be the only case I can think of where a format would not be necessary.

  • Raven Darke (unregistered) in reply to Sam Tyler
    Sam Tyler:
    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. Then I formatted the hard drive and installed Linux and they no longer call me for computer support. Long live Linux!

    My parents asked me to fix their dog. I said "Damn it, mom, I'm an engineer, not a vet."

  • iddJoe (unregistered)

    My parents accidentally the computer my sister. Long live the accident.

  • Nobody (unregistered)

    My sister asked me to fix a problem that her boyfriend gave her. So I offered to give her a ride. Long live abortion clinics!

  • (cs) in reply to Patrick
    Patrick:
    DOA:
    GettinSadda:
    If I was that professor, I would spend the whole first lecture to any class detailing the whole sorry incident, and end by saying "When you have passed this course and have high-level IT jobs in major companies or government departments, remember just how awful Big Green are and ensure that your company or government never buys from them".

    I would video the whole lecture and send copies to the CEO and all board members at Big Green.

    So... you want to publicly badmouth a large company with its own team of lawyers and send them the video? Let me know how that works out for you.
    It's not slander if it's true.
    You're right. But only to prevent any hassle, I would end it like this: "When you have passed this course and have high-level IT jobs in major companies or government departments, and someone proposes your company to make business with Big Green, remember the story you just heard before you decide whether you'll hire their services and buy their products."

    And THEN I would send the video

  • Nobody (unregistered)

    Our son had a problem with the computer his sister gave us. He installed Linux on it and now we can't play games anymore. Damn it!

  • monkeyPushButton (unregistered) in reply to rast
    rast:
    Nicely done, everybody.

    Alex should blue all the "my parents" comments.

    My parents asked me to fix problems with a comment my sister gave them. Then Alex blued the comment and they no longer ask me for comment support. Long live Alex!

  • NakedJaybird (unregistered)

    What college students should have been asking:

    What Would MIT Do?

    Maybe they would have gotten some inspiration.

  • idan (unregistered)

    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a computer my sister gave them. but i'm jew. DONG

    CAPTCHA: sino

  • Leo (unregistered)

    My friend asked me to fix problems with a PC he had. I went over and had sex with his sister instead. Now we're not friends anymore.

    Long live sex!

  • Your Sister (unregistered)

    My parents used to ask my brother to fix a computer I gave them. Then he did all the things mentioned above and something happened. Long live internet memes!

  • your computer (unregistered)

    Some chick bought me for her parents, but her brother had a problem with me. So he erased my memory. Long live amnesia!

  • Gary O (unregistered) in reply to iddJoe
    iddJoe:
    My parents accidentally the computer my sister. Long live the accident.

    I love the combination of multiple memes. Well done.

    Also regarding the OS formatting to install another OS: I think he's referring to the glory days when one could toss in an xp/nt/millenium (yuk) disk on a machine with any windows OS but vista and not have to format first.

  • (cs) in reply to Your Sister

    My X used to ask my Y to fix a Z I gave them. Then Y did A and B happened. Long live C!

  • SAMO (unregistered) in reply to DaveK

    My Jabba the hutt asked me to bring him solo and the wookie. Then they suffered for this outrage. Long live rancors!

  • (cs) in reply to Ben4jammin
    Ben4jammin:
    OK, since no one else will do it, here is our obscure movie quote:

    If you connect to it, it asks:

    "Shall we play a game?"

    Someone doesn't know the meaning of "obscure" :P

  • Ricket (unregistered)

    I wish they would've used names. If I had my best guess, I'd guess that Big Green = Apple.

  • Andrew (unregistered) in reply to Ricket
    Ricket:
    I wish they would've used names. If I had my best guess, I'd guess that Big Green = Apple.

    No, it was probably IBM. A play on big blue.

    Anyway - I can't figure it out which product line it was. "Operating system not found" suggests the common wintel boot message, but the way it was assembled and fell on its face suggests System p/i/ or z.

    Probably z.

  • David Lightman (unregistered) in reply to Sutherlands
    Sutherlands:
    Ben4jammin:
    OK, since no one else will do it, here is our obscure movie quote:

    If you connect to it, it asks:

    "Shall we play a game?"

    Someone doesn't know the meaning of "obscure" :P

    Dr. John McKittrick and Gen. Beringer at NORAD asked me to fix their W.O.P.R. supercomputer the American taxpayers bought them. So I took a ferry to goose island with Jenny Mack and convinced Dr. Falken to help me ask the computer to play tic tac toe recursively until it had either allotted too much memory away from GTNW or realized it is 'a silly game,' thereby preventing WWIII. Long live John Spencer's memory!

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