• (cs) in reply to Gary O
    Gary O:
    iddJoe:
    My parents accidentally the computer my sister. Long live the accident.

    I love the combination of multiple memes. Well done.

    ITYM: Yo dawg i heard you like memes, so we put a meme in yo meme, and it doesn't afraid of anything!

  • SAMO (unregistered) in reply to David Lightman
    David Lightman:
    Sutherlands:
    Ben4jammin:
    OK, since no one else will do it, here is our obscure movie quote:

    If you connect to it, it asks:

    "Shall we play a game?"

    Someone doesn't know the meaning of "obscure" :P

    Dr. John McKittrick and Gen. Beringer at NORAD asked me to fix their W.O.P.R. supercomputer the American taxpayers bought them. So I took a ferry to goose island with Jenny Mack and convinced Dr. Falken to help me ask the computer to play tic tac toe recursively until it had either allotted too much memory away from GTNW or realized it is 'a silly game,' thereby preventing WWIII. Long live John Spencer's memory!

    I heart it!

  • (cs) in reply to AT
    AT:
    "The students literarily drooled"

    Well, there's your problem: it was obviously a high-brow liberal arts school.

    I went to one of those. Nothing worth drooling over; unless you like your stockings blue, preferably in worsted, and without suspenders. (Cellulite non-optional.)

    But, to the OP. I was immediately reminded of an entirely authentic story I heard at third hand about a company I shall call "Khazakhstan Sloth" for purposes of anonymisation. Anonymisation kicks in here, so it's obviously a trillion-rouble public company rather than a "university," but they blew $6 million on sophisticated hardware they had no need of. Why? Because it was September 30th when the Big Green Monster salesman called to close the deal. Oh, look: we've got $6,000,001 left in the quarterly budget.

    Just as in the story, they had a "hardware guru" in for six months to wave a Magic Hardware Divining Staff at the thing.

    Just as in the story, they followed up with a "software/systems guru" for six months to wave a Magic Platform Divining Staff at the thing.

    At that point the software/systems guru pointed out that it's waterfall time and they now need to call in the hardware guru again. I believe the daily guru cost was circa $2000. Do the budgetary math.

    Unusually for Khazakhstan Sloth, some EVP or other asked what the damn thing was there for in the first place. When he was told that it was simply a budget item, he canned it on the spot.

    I hope that man is high on God's sheep list.

    Or, on another note,

    "When The Professor flipped the switched, The Monster churned and choked, spun and smattered, and whizzed and whirled. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that The Monster was alive. But alas, The Monster was not well: it had the brawn, but not the brains. It desperately and incessantly cried: 'OPERATING SYSTEM NOT FOUND.'"

    It could just be Alex and Jake anonymising the world's first Internet failure.

  • (cs) in reply to Random832
    Random832:
    Gary O:
    iddJoe:
    My parents accidentally the computer my sister. Long live the accident.

    I love the combination of multiple memes. Well done.

    ITYM: Yo dawg i heard you like memes, so we put a meme in yo meme, and it doesn't afraid of anything!

    No quack!

    Apologies to Ozz, above. When I see the word "meme" I reach for my duck.

  • ysth (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    What's up for you, you tuna sandwich?
    You tuna sandwich with a fork.
  • ping floyd (unregistered) in reply to Ross Presser
    Ross Presser:
    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC they bought themselves. Then they died and they no longer call me for computer support. Or for anything at all. I miss them :-(

    (True story)

    My condolences.

  • (cs) in reply to SenTree
    SenTree:
    BobB:
    ...business education department... they were not able to find a single use for any of their students.
    Sounds like the typical graduates from a business studies course !
    Now, that just shows the lack of imagination that all of us liberal arts graduates would expect from you autistic CompSci and EE types. No imagination, any of you. I thoroughly recommend T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland."

    After that, you compost the pointless bastards. They're rich in phosphates.

  • hpcadmin (unregistered)

    This story sounds remarkably like our experience with a "free" BlueGene/L, although it was the IBM Global Services guy who was the screwup.

  • FlyY (unregistered) in reply to Pim
    Pim:
    SAMO:
    "Hi Jimmy, it's your mom. Your sister just bought us a new computer but it has windows vista installed and your father wants to install xp instead. He can't seem to do it, so could you help him fix it?"

    So the next Saturday Jimmy spent all day trying to format his parent's new computer to install xp. But then the cd drive would not be recognized and an outdated version of BIOS was causing all heaps of trouble. (...)

    I call BS. A new computer with Vista preinstalled won't have a BIOS that is too outdated for a proper XP install. Jimmy didn't want to install XP, did he? He wanted to install Linux instead!
    And why did SAMO's mother call him Jimmy?

  • (cs) in reply to Pim
    Pim:
    I'm left wondering what it's doing, what tasks it's running now.

    It's just displaying a login prompt.

  • Scotty (unregistered) in reply to Sam Tyler
    Sam Tyler:
    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. Then I formatted the hard drive and installed Linux and they no longer call me for computer support. Long live Linux!
    The Captain asked me to fix problems with a warp drive his sister gave him. I told him: "a canna change the laws of physics!" and banged arond with a spanner for a bit...
  • (cs) in reply to FlyY
    Pim:
    SAMO:
    So the next Saturday Jimmy spent all day trying to format his parent's new computer to install xp. But then the cd drive would not be recognized and an outdated version of BIOS was causing all heaps of trouble. (...)
    I call BS. A new computer with Vista preinstalled won't have a BIOS that is too outdated for a proper XP install. Jimmy didn't want to install XP, did he? He wanted to install Linux instead!

    It's quite possible to make an XP install impossible if said laptop only has an AHCI SATA interface, with no IDE compatibility mode available.

    As a fact, XP doesn't come with all possible drivers, especially for certain chipsets/disks controllers. Plus, the catch with XP is that you can't use anything but a legacy floppy (no USB sticks, no USB floppies, no second CD drive) at install time even if you have a third-party driver, too bad that modern laptops don't have floppies...in which case only a customized nLite'd XP installation may work. Assuming there's an AHCI driver for XP, at that point...

  • (cs)

    I used to ask my doctor to fix a problem my sister gave me. Then he told me to wave goodbye to my nose and I never heard from him again. Long live syphilis!

  • (cs) in reply to AIX Survivor
    AIX Survivor:
    The Green Monster's a pSeries withn an incomplete AIX installation and marginal hardware or I turn in my LART.

    It's been three years, and the ODB still gives me nightmares.

    That is /exactly/ what I was guessing, but I went for a snarky rip on ebay instead... I think it only got set as a featured comment because everyone else suddenly went off the deep end into formulaic, mindless comment "humor", making my 30 second joke appear funnier. Long live asinine commenters!

    Note: I have included at least one typo, grammatical error, or punctuation mistake. I expect four pages worth of grammar nazis picking it to pieces by tomorrow morning.

    monkeyPushButton:
    This is the problem when you beat a joke to death.
    ... Surely you realize what site you're on, right?

    ok

    kastein captcha: no one cares np: still, no one cares www.no-one-cares-at-all.com

  • (cs) in reply to Ricket
    Ricket:
    I wish they would've used names. If I had my best guess, I'd guess that Big Green = Apple.
    No no, that's "Little Green". And god didn't make them.
  • (cs) in reply to ysth
    ysth:
    Code Dependent:
    What's up for you, you tuna sandwich?
    You tuna sandwich with a fork.
    Thereby rendering it all forked up.
  • (cs) in reply to pink_fairy
    pink_fairy:
    After that, you compost the pointless bastards. They're rich in phosphates.
    Or, you could just eat them.

    Cuz I'm sick of your complaining About how many bills And I'm sick of all your bitching 'Bout your poodles and your pills And I just can't see no humor About your way of life And I think I can do more for you With this here fork and knife

    Eat the Rich: there's only one thing they're good for Eat the Rich: take one bite now - come back for more Eat the Rich: I gotta get this off my chest Eat the Rich: take one bite now, spit out the rest

  • (cs) in reply to kastein
    kastein:
    Note: I have included at least one typo, grammatical error, or punctuation mistake. I expect four pages worth of grammar nazis picking it to pieces by tomorrow morning.
    That should be "four pages' worth".
  • iddJoe (unregistered) in reply to Gary O
    Gary O:
    iddJoe:
    My parents accidentally the computer my sister. Long live the accident.
    I love the combination of multiple memes. Well done.

    Happy to oblige. I almost held back for fear of being a troll, but decided that after all the other posts, I was probably safe :)

  • (cs) in reply to DOA
    DOA:
    GettinSadda:
    If I was that professor, I would spend the whole first lecture to any class detailing the whole sorry incident, and end by saying "When you have passed this course and have high-level IT jobs in major companies or government departments, remember just how awful Big Green are and ensure that your company or government never buys from them".

    I would video the whole lecture and send copies to the CEO and all board members at Big Green.

    So... you want to publicly badmouth a large company with its own team of lawyers and send them the video? Let me know how that works out for you.
    So... Big Green want to sue a professor, thus creating a high-profile case of a big company attempting to silence academic free speech, opposing a University (Universities have some of the best lawyers) and incurring the wrath of the global academic community? Let me know how that works out for them.

  • Bob (unregistered) in reply to Sam Tyler
    Sam Tyler:
    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. Then I formatted the hard drive and installed Linux and they no longer call me for computer support. Long live Linux!

    Because it is harder for them to screw up their computer and make it run slow or because they are mad that you installed Linux on your computer and avoid you ;)

  • HPC (unregistered)

    Lol .. so IBM donates a legacy computer nobody else would buy from them to a Uni, and can't be asked to support it. Where's the WTF?

    Apparently you're all 12 and have no idea how business works. Here's an example scenario of what may have been happening.

    IBM wrote off the cost of the hardware as a taxable donation instead of having to pay to ship the thing to China for reclamation.

    IBM wasted some time with sending their guys out, but really, it doesn't cost IBM $2000 a day to send a guy out when he's got nothing else to do. The guy's on salary and only makes $100/day, so they pay a few days of on-site expenses. I also doubt they flew anyone out on their dime. They might say they did so for PR reasons, but I doubt it.

  • (cs) in reply to Bob
    Bob:
    Sam Tyler:
    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. Then I formatted the hard drive and installed Linux and they no longer call me for computer support. Long live Linux!

    Because it is harder for them to screw up their computer and make it run slow or because they are mad that you installed Linux on your computer and avoid you ;)

    To prevent the users from screwing up, just change them to Limited User group. Then you can forget about viruses and trojans.

  • (cs) in reply to alegr
    alegr:
    To prevent the users from screwing up, just change them to Limited User group. Then you can forget about viruses and trojans.

    Too bad that worms, viruses and trojans that depend on buffer overflows and remote code execution couldn't care less about user privileges.

  • David (unregistered) in reply to Kermos
    Kermos:

    Curious though, how does Vista 'require' formatting to get rid of it? How else would you install any different OS when another one is in-place? I suppose a WUBI install would be the only case I can think of where a format would not be necessary.

    Assuming that you're using NTFS for both OS's It should be possible, at least in theory, to simply copy the XP system files, settings, drivers, etc onto the disk and alter the boot loader and boot records to point to the appropriate files.

    I'm not saying it would be easy, but it should be possible.

  • Not as DULL as you (unregistered)

    My parents are on the phone. They want you to fix their computer.

  • MG (unregistered) in reply to AIX Survivor
    AIX Survivor:
    The Green Monster's a pSeries withn an incomplete AIX installation and marginal hardware or I turn in my LART.

    It's been three years, and the ODB still gives me nightmares.

    Yesterday I completed building a two-node Oracle RAC cluster on a pair of System p6 595s.

    Normally I'm a Solaris and Linux admin and I have certainly found that AIX is on a different branch of the Unix family tree. "We can't have /etc/shadow! We're IBM and have to do it the IBM way!"

    By the way, I think your experience is finally wearing off. I am pretty sure you meant ODM (Object Data Manager) instead of ODB.

  • David (unregistered) in reply to C4I_Officer

    [quote user="C4I_Officer"][quote user="alegr"] Too bad that worms, viruses and trojans that depend on buffer overflows and remote code execution couldn't care less about user privileges.[/quote]

    Viruses and trojans started from limited accounts, and buffer overflows of web browsers (etc) running from limited accounts will still be forcibly terminated by the OS if they try and access system resources, just like any other user process.

    Worms that use buffer overflows to remotely attack services that already have system privileges are another can of worms (ahem).

    Just because you can overflow a buffer or by some other manner execute abirtrary instructions does not automatically give you the ability to execute privileged instructions. To do that you also need some way to escalate.

    You almost always see widespread infections on machines where users have full admin rights.

  • (cs) in reply to iddJoe
    iddJoe:
    Gary O:
    iddJoe:
    My parents accidentally the computer my sister. Long live the accident.
    I love the combination of multiple memes. Well done.

    Happy to oblige. I almost held back for fear of being a troll, but decided that after all the other posts, I was probably safe :)

    Ah. Stage two of troll denial. nods sagely

  • (cs) in reply to SAMO

    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. Then I found a new, geekier sister and they no longer call me for computer support. Long live adoption!

    SAMO:
    Several hours and many burned boot discs later, Jimmy hadn't made any progress. What's worse, he had to cancel his date for that night.

    Finally, at 2am, Jimmy was getting extremely frustrated. His sister came through the door from a long night of partying. She walked up to jimmy and...

    Long live incest?

  • moz (unregistered) in reply to Not as DULL as you
    Not as DULL as you:
    My parents are on the phone. They want you to fix their computer.
    Ask them if they can access the internet. If so, they should find the answer they need at http://www.amishrakefight.org/gfy.
  • Konrad (unregistered) in reply to JoJo

    initializing skynet [################## ] 90% complete

  • Vic Tim (unregistered) in reply to SAMO
    SAMO:
    My professor used to ask me to fix problems with a Monster that Big Green gave him. Then I never bothered to figure out how to use it and it was convenient to blame big green representatives rather than do actual work. Long live grad school!

    "Well, do you have a Knoppix disc?" is quickly becoming my primary catch phrase. I'd have showed up and said it back then but I was busy working on my antithesis

  • Vic Tim (unregistered) in reply to DaveK
    DaveK:
    iddJoe:
    Gary O:
    iddJoe:
    My parents accidentally the computer my sister. Long live the accident.
    I love the combination of multiple memes. Well done.

    Happy to oblige. I almost held back for fear of being a troll, but decided that after all the other posts, I was probably safe :)

    Ah. Stage two of troll denial. nods sagely

    wtf is up with all the explicit and exhaustive self-referentiality? Brevity is the soul of wit. Captcha: conventio

  • ysth (unregistered) in reply to C4I_Officer

    I've run into this, but gave up before figuring out how to build a custom install CD.

    But that was a while ago. Does XP SP3 come with an AHCI driver?

  • k1 (unregistered) in reply to C4I_Officer
    C4I_Officer:
    Pim:
    I'm left wondering what it's doing, what tasks it's running now.

    It's just displaying a login prompt.

    Handwritten on a piece of paper and sticked on the screen.

  • Jay (unregistered)

    My parents asked me to fix a computer that my sister gave them. Just as I was getting ready to head over to their house, an Irish girl showed up at my door, and I forgot all about my parents.

  • Mr moar (unregistered)

    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. Then I unzipped my sister and inserted my Ubuntu in her drive, they no longer call me for computer support. Long live Incest!

  • Joey (unregistered)

    I'm struggling to find consistency surrounding the age of this server. It's been a while since any hardware has been this specialised, in that you could actually find a university where noone knew the exact procedure to install an OS. Also a long time since I've seen a single server delivered in multiple crates. Yet we talk about DVDs, multiterabytes of data, virtual servers and other semi-recent developments.

    I shudder at the thought of an Operating System that requires 15 DVDs.

  • (cs) in reply to Vic Tim
    Vic Tim:
    DaveK:
    iddJoe:
    Gary O:
    iddJoe:
    My parents accidentally the computer my sister. Long live the accident.
    I love the combination of multiple memes. Well done.

    Happy to oblige. I almost held back for fear of being a troll, but decided that after all the other posts, I was probably safe :)

    Ah. Stage two of troll denial. nods sagely

    wtf is up with all the explicit and exhaustive self-referentiality? Brevity is the soul of wit. Captcha: conventio

    Eh? That's not "self-referentiality", that's just called "replying to something somebody said".

  • Mad Bob (unregistered)

    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC my sister gave them. Then I smashed up their computer with my sister's head and they no longer call me for computer support (or anything else). Once a year or so, they come and visit me in my cell, when their not looking after my paraplegic sister.

  • Mike Dimmick (unregistered) in reply to warren ds
    warren ds:
    I have run into this, too. It is perceived as an out of date bios but it's put in place as a measure to prevent xp installation so that microsoft ensures you use the restore disks. You know how microsoft requires you to format to get rid of vista? well, they took it one step further with BIOS in new laptops. There is a work around but it's machine specific.

    Windows discs are not all alike. The type of XP disc you use must match the type of key you're going to use. Full retail discs only work with full retail keys, volume license only with volume license keys, and OEM discs only with OEM keys. For the largest few manufacturers, the OEM discs are tied to that OEM through the BIOS identification scheme, and you must use the right OEM key; the OS is pre-activated if you use a restore disc. If a large OEM computer (e.g. Dell) didn't come with a full OS disc you have to find one from another system from the same manufacturer, or call the manufacturer to get one. You can't use a disc which came with an HP machine to reinstall a Dell, for example.

    OEM Windows Vista Home does not have downgrade rights - you cannot use the same key with XP, you need to buy a retail copy of XP to downgrade it. Windows Vista Business and Ultimate do have downgrade rights and you can use the same key, as long as you use the right installation disc.

  • (cs)

    Paula called me to fix a problem with her bean. She didn't have enough i's to complete a word. So I gave her one. Long live brillant!

  • Doinkerr (unregistered) in reply to Ross Presser

    My parents used to ask me to fix problems with a PC they bought themselves.

    Until I shot them.

  • (cs) in reply to C4I_Officer
    C4I_Officer:
    alegr:
    To prevent the users from screwing up, just change them to Limited User group. Then you can forget about viruses and trojans.

    Too bad that worms, viruses and trojans that depend on buffer overflows and remote code execution couldn't care less about user privileges.

    Wooooosh.

  • My Name (unregistered) in reply to SAMO

    ROFLOL!

  • monkeyPushButton (unregistered) in reply to Someone You Know

    The whole parents thing was funny until I got home to get a call from my mom about a computer error. And she still calls me for tech support.

  • (cs) in reply to monkeyPushButton
    monkeyPushButton:
    The whole parents thing was funny until I got home to get a call from my mom about a computer error. And she still calls me for tech support.
    Install Linux.

    Then she'll never call you for tech support again :)

    (and you may even find yourself disinherited, as a bonus!)

  • Niall (unregistered)

    I think we need so quality checks on what goes up on WTF.com, this was a rather lame WTS.

  • AIX Survivor (unregistered) in reply to MG
    MG:
    AIX Survivor:
    The Green Monster's a pSeries withn an incomplete AIX installation and marginal hardware or I turn in my LART.

    It's been three years, and the ODB still gives me nightmares.

    Yesterday I completed building a two-node Oracle RAC cluster on a pair of System p6 595s.

    Normally I'm a Solaris and Linux admin and I have certainly found that AIX is on a different branch of the Unix family tree. "We can't have /etc/shadow! We're IBM and have to do it the IBM way!"

    By the way, I think your experience is finally wearing off. I am pretty sure you meant ODM (Object Data Manager) instead of ODB.

    That's prolly the official term. The IBM nerd I learned hands-on AIX from called it ODB, probably because by the time you got past SMIT and were running the "odm*" commands, you felt like you had gotten database all over yourself and needed a bath. And really, calling ODM any kind of manager is either (A) misleading, since it only manages to annoy admins, or (B) strangely appropriate but unpalatable, in that it's like a typical PHB: makes you work harder and longer to accomplish simple tasks in the manner only it approves.

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