• (cs)

    I'm just glad the nutrition facts were jacked up, so there is a good semblance of WTF. I can't stand putting up with 50 comments of "What is this site coming to? Food reviews now!? I'm out of here!"

  • (cs)

    "it does tend to interfere with my day job at Inedo and, as a result, I tend to earn much less than I could otherwise. But I don’t mind. All I have to do is sacrifice a few, small things"

    And I'm sure we all appreciate that, Alex.

    BTW, what was the beaker used for before you heated your lunch in it?

  • Don McArthur (unregistered)

    I think I'm going to be sick.

  • igftw (unregistered)

    What is this site coming to? Food reviews now!? I'm out of here!

  • (cs)

    MRE = WTF. I went on a canoeing and camping trip with my family, and my little brother brought some MREs he had liberated. They tasted alright, I guess, and they certainly beat starvation. But they were ancient! We were able to date them by looking at the contest deadlines stamped on the Skittles packs. (The Skittles looked, felt, and tasted just like those colorful little rocks you put in aquariums, except they were harder.) When we were done, we found that the MRE packaging had produced far, far more waste than the cheap, tasty stuff we bought at Wal*Mart. I think that's a wonderful metaphor for government versus private sector. Anyway...

    I'm pretty sure that if my family and I had suddenly found ourselves in the middle of an armed conflict, we could have turned the MREs into grenades by overfilling the heater packs with water, transforming them into explosive, scalding hot water bombs.

    Photos: http://andy.junkdrome.org/photos/2007_canoe_trip/ . (Unfortunately, we didn't think to take any pictures of the MREs.)

  • DC (unregistered)

    So where is the failure? They succeeded in selling bad food.

  • Yarrr (unregistered) in reply to Andy Goth

    Bad as they may be, MREs are light years beyond c-rats. Although I really dug the crackers in the can.

  • NE (unregistered)

    I should point out the instructions don't actually say put the noodles into the container with the vegetables when you add the water. Or even say what to do with them after you remove the "noodle block pack" from the container.

  • Mr.T (unregistered)

    Am I missing something or hay they forgotten teh noodles in the cooking instructions? I assume the noodles are dried, so you have to wet them, too or not?

  • (cs)

    Haha, that's awesome!

    I'm vegan, so I frequently buy things that are made of "artificial beef" or "artificial chicken", and they usually don't taste too bad. However, the ingredient list has never, ever said, "artificial beef flavour" -- wtf does that even mean?

  • (cs) in reply to rbowes

    My guess is that "artificial beef flavour" is old motor oil harvested from mechanical bulls.

  • (cs) in reply to gabba
    gabba:
    BTW, what was the beaker used for before you heated your lunch in it?
    Mandatory drug testing?
  • (cs) in reply to igftw
    igftw:
    What is this site coming to? Food reviews now!? I'm out of here!
    Don't talk about it. Do it.
  • Malcolm (unregistered)
    But I will say, I was a little put off by the “350ml” thing. Really… what am I, a scientist? Does the Quick Meal think I have beakers lying around to measure things in milliliters!? Just tell me how many cups or half-cups I need, Quick Meal.

    With modern technology it is now possible to convert from one unit to another, so it is no longer necessary to find measuring devices which happen to have the same units as the instructions.

    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

  • (cs) in reply to rbowes
    rbowes:
    I'm vegan, so I frequently buy things that are made of "artificial beef" or "artificial chicken", and they usually don't taste too bad. However, the ingredient list has never, ever said, "artificial beef flavour" -- wtf does that even mean?
    Um... maybe, it tastes like artificial beef. My son is vegetarian, his wife vegan. For thanksgiving one year they had something called tofurkey (tofu with artificial turkey flavor, I assume). Ever encountered that?
  • (cs) in reply to Malcolm
    Malcolm:

    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    Do you have a 1.47936349 cup measuring cup?

  • Joe (unregistered)

    Foreign packages don't list measurements in the American system? What the FUCK, man.

  • Corey (unregistered)

    Oh no! It's Mandatory Food Day!

  • Walleye (unregistered) in reply to Joe
    Joe:
    Foreign packages don't list measurements in the American system? What the FUCK, man.

    It's not just the American system. Myanmar and Libya use it, too!

  • (cs) in reply to FredSaw
    FredSaw:
    rbowes:
    I'm vegan, so I frequently buy things that are made of "artificial beef" or "artificial chicken", and they usually don't taste too bad. However, the ingredient list has never, ever said, "artificial beef flavour" -- wtf does that even mean?
    Um... maybe, it tastes like artificial beef. My son is vegetarian, his wife vegan. For thanksgiving one year they had something called tofurkey (tofu with artificial turkey flavor, I assume). Ever encountered that?
    Actually, yes! I buy Tofurkey-brand sandwich meat. It's surprisingly good!

    None of the ingredients, however, are "artificial turkey flavour" :)

  • DL (unregistered)

    Here's a fascinating page showing comparisons between food packaging and what is actually inside...

    http://funtasticus.com/20080324/advertising-vs-reality-a-product-comparison-project/

  • Buddy (unregistered) in reply to Malcolm
    Malcolm:
    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    For those interested, you get one and one half cups less one teaspoon, accurate to within one minim. Metric is better!

  • Beaker (unregistered)

    I would be VERY worried about eating 112% of your daily fiber in one sitting.

  • jk (unregistered) in reply to rbowes
    rbowes:
    Haha, that's awesome!

    I'm vegan, so I frequently buy things that are made of "artificial beef" or "artificial chicken", and they usually don't taste too bad. However, the ingredient list has never, ever said, "artificial beef flavour" -- wtf does that even mean?

    does "artificial beef" imply "not made from animal products?"

  • (cs)

    People people people....how can you NOT know that a 12 oz. can of beer is 355ml? It's printed on every can!

  • Andrew (unregistered) in reply to Walleye
    Walleye:
    Joe:
    Foreign packages don't list measurements in the American system? What the FUCK, man.

    It's not just the American system. Myanmar and Libya use it, too!

    Yeah, you can't be too careful measuring out that stuff for the lethal injections.

  • name (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound

    Are all cups the same size?

  • BobB (unregistered)

    Your dried pack of authentic Chinese vegetables is freaking me out man... I think it's smiling at me... Those peas are the eyes... Oh god, did it just wink?

  • Cybercat (unregistered)

    Umm, you can get a pretty healthy meal without resorting to pre-packeged microwave meals. Eat vegetables :p

    Also, did you notice where it said SILICON DIOXIDE? Christ man, that shit is POISON. Literally. While eating it usually does nothing (passes right through you, it's indigestible) even breathing 0.1mg of it in can cause some pretty nasty reactions.

    Seriously though, why not pick up carrots and lettuce? Sandwich materials at least?

  • (cs) in reply to BobB

    The instructions say cover and let stand for 4 minutes, or microwave for 1 minute. I doubt you would get the same result in both cases.

  • Rune (unregistered)

    I do appreciate the 350ml part, because cups are really confusing imo (cause to me a cup, is one of those things I drink coffee out of, and they tend to be rahter... large, not quite a mug yet, but a very.. large.. cup.)

    But then again, 350ml is easy for me, because here in NL, everything is metric.

    Btw.. you state that you have little time because of the site, and your earnings and such, so where oh where do you find the time to analyze your lunch that extensive? (up to counting peas). :P

  • (cs) in reply to n9ds
    n9ds:
    People people people....how can you NOT know that a 12 oz. can of beer is 355ml? It's printed on every can!
    Well, the first one I'm far more interested in what's IN the can than ON the can. So I don't read or memorize it.

    After that, what's ON the can might be interesting, but it gets successively harder to read.

  • The real wtf fool (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound
    NCBloodhound:
    Malcolm:

    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    Do you have a 1.47936349 cup measuring cup?

    When cooking from american recipes I always reach for my measuring jug with such finely printed lines that I can easily measure 118.294118 ml, 236.588237 ml, 473.176473 ml...

  • (cs) in reply to n9ds
    n9ds:
    People people people....how can you NOT know that a 12 oz. can of beer is 355ml? It's printed on every can!

    You need to drink more and read less :) Even if we read that part, most of us here in the US would not commit the ml spec to memory.

  • MooseBrains (unregistered)

    Always reminds me of the fact that Walkers crisps (also known as Frito-Lay potato chips) in all their flavours are vegetarian. Yes, that does include beef, prawn and chicken flavours.

  • (cs) in reply to BobB
    BobB:
    Your dried pack of authentic Chinese vegetables is freaking me out man... I think it's smiling at me... Those peas are the eyes... Oh god, did it just wink?

    How does winking work on three eyed creatures? I mean, does it count as winking if it blinks two out of its three eyes?

    Or is this one of those things where the prefex tells all? i.e. wink = one eye blink = two eyes at same time (total not specified) trink = three eye at same time?

  • Ola (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound

    I don't think rounding it off to 1 and 1/2 cup will ruin the meal.

  • Daniel (unregistered)

    This would have been a whorty entry at "Steve, Don't Eat it!" http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/cat_steve_dont_eat_it.php Check out the Cuitlacoche...

  • (cs) in reply to rbowes
    rbowes:
    I'm vegan, so I frequently buy things that are made of "artificial beef" or "artificial chicken", and they usually don't taste too bad. However, the ingredient list has never, ever said, "artificial beef flavour" -- wtf does that even mean?
    Another vegan on TheDailyWTF? I can scarce believe it.

    If you've never come across "artficial animal flavour" on an ingredients list you obviously don't eat ramen at all, ever. I do (they're a cheap, convenient, quick source of carbs, and can easily be supplmented with real veg, flavourings and tofu / gluten to make delicious meals) and virtually all of them have that construct in the ingredients list somewhere. I believe the implication is intended to be that they taste vaguely like the animal mentioned but do not have any of that animal in them. What it generally means in reality is "lots of MSG and precious little else".

  • (cs) in reply to jk
    jk:
    rbowes:
    Haha, that's awesome!

    I'm vegan, so I frequently buy things that are made of "artificial beef" or "artificial chicken", and they usually don't taste too bad. However, the ingredient list has never, ever said, "artificial beef flavour" -- wtf does that even mean?

    does "artificial beef" imply "not made from animal products?"

    Depends what it's made from. As I said, the packages never say "artificial beef flavour", they normally list the actual ingredients.
  • (cs)

    99 cents? Pffft... Walmart has the Maruchan Yakisoba Teriyaki noodles for the low, low price of 88 cents. Also, it ONLY weighs in at 520 calories. Pretty tasty too!

    I'm sure someone can cite better ramen (like the kind that is NOT manufactured and sold the good ol' USA) but this is about as close to a ramen snob's ramen as I can get.

  • (cs) in reply to MooseBrains
    MooseBrains:
    Always reminds me of the fact that Walkers crisps (also known as Frito-Lay potato chips) in all their flavours are vegetarian.
    Not strictly true - for a long time their Cheese and Onion flavour (certainly in the UK) contained cheese powder made with calf rennit - which meant that, although the Beef and Onion flavour were veggie, the Cheese and Onion flavour were not. Go Figure ;^)
  • (cs) in reply to NCBloodhound

    You may be able to get more accuracy by using a smaller unit.

  • Gowerly (unregistered)

    That nutritional information is British, by the look of it, and we've gone to measuring things in ml. I can only assume 1/2 cup is 8 fl. oz., so it's about 1.5 half cups, as mentioned.

  • M (unregistered)

    If you follow the instructions correctly (and assume "put dehydrated vegetables into the bowl" means "remove the plastic wrapper from the vegetables already present in the bowl"), wouldn't you end up with:

    1 bowl with rehydrated vegetables and a wet packet of seasoning 1 fork 1 packet of dried noodles 1 packet of sauce

    ?

  • (cs) in reply to Gowerly
    Gowerly:
    That nutritional information is British, by the look of it, and we've gone to measuring things in ml.
    Only because the EU got snotty about us using our own measurements. The amusing thing is the fact that you can now buy things by the 568ml!
    Gowerly:
    I can only assume 1/2 cup is 8 fl. oz., so it's about 1.5 half cups, as mentioned.
    1 cup is half a pint, but remember that's an American pint, which is 16 fl oz, rather than the British pint, which is 20 fl oz. Yes, not only does out beer taste better than yours, but we get it in bigger glasses, too ;^)
  • DavidC (unregistered)

    Unless I missed something, you didn't critique the 'artificial beef'. Based on the label, the marketing folks believed this to be the single most important feature of this particular culinary delight.

    Was it chunks? What was the texture? Visual appeal? Bouquet? What food group do you think was the original source? Was it digestible? Any long term undesirable effects from consumption?

  • CoyneT (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound

    This 350 ml thing is clearly a typo on the box.

    The thing is, a 1.5 cup measure (354.88 ml) is only above 350ml by 1.4%. In order for the recipe to work, they'd have to add another 3g of something to the box.

    ... but, you see, they did that. That's why the carbohydrates are 103g instead of 100 ... because they added the 3g of noodles necessary to go with the 1.5 cups of water.

    But then they totally blew it by forgetting to specify 355 ml on the box, instead of 350.

  • BK (unregistered)

    For those of you who keep track, that meal would be 26 Weight Watchers points.

  • whoisgregg (unregistered)

    ::sigh:: I was writing a blog about this very advance in ramen noodle delivery technology. Oh well, you've done a better job at it. :)

    There are some variations that actually have a fill line molded into the container so no measuring is necessary. The big box store near me sells them for $0.87 each, sans utensil.

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