• SomeCoder (unregistered)

    The real WTF is that Alex is trying to guilt us into donating money to him with this obviously fabricated story. Apparently the old ads aren't generated much revenue and Alex needs to continue dining on caviar and unicorn steaks...

    I for one will never be coming back to this site again!

    /sarcasm :)

  • (cs) in reply to DavidC
    DavidC:
    Unless I missed something, you didn't critique the 'artificial beef'. Based on the label, the marketing folks believed this to be the single most important feature of this particular culinary delight.

    Was it chunks? What was the texture? Visual appeal? Bouquet? What food group do you think was the original source? Was it digestible? Any long term undesirable effects from consumption?

    The artificial beef actually doubles as a stool softener. And we all know less time in the restroom means more time working. The perfect meal for the IT people in your company.

  • Mr. Eff (unregistered) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:

    That's true - if you've ever studied any science (physics was the one for me) then you realize how stupid the American measurements are. They aren't changing any time soon though.

    For the record, I am an American.

    If you've ever had to actually cook a meal you quickly realize how stupid metric measurements are. Whether or not imperial measurements are any good for science doesn't matter, cooking in metric is a pain in the ass. Imperial measurements exist for a reason - they are easy to approximate without making your kitchen look like a meth lab.

  • (cs) in reply to Samuel
    Samuel:
    Didn't it ever occur to you that the United States is perhaps the last country on the face of the planet to still use the imperial system of measurement? Even ye olde country, Britain, has stopped. Get over yourself, suck it up, and move on.
    I live in the USA, and I would really love to see us go metric. It works fine as a monetary system (10 pennies = 1 dime, 10 dimes = 1 dollar, etc.) even if the naming convention is offbeat ("cent" may be considered short for "centidollar", but I doubt "dime" is short for "decidollar", and we don't call a benjamin a "hectodollar".

    But the measuring system is firmly entrenched. It would be costly to replace all the road signs in miles with signs in kilometric, not to mention the vehicle speedometers and mileage gauges. And in construction, wall studs are placed exactly 16 inches apart. This is an industry standard, and I don't see it changing any time soon.

    So don't say, "Hey, you, quit hanging onto that old goofy imperial system." It isn't me; I'm ready. It's an entire country.

  • Flint Fredstone (unregistered)

    Ramen review? Just in case the entire Interweb was unfamililar with the cheapness of cheap food?

    Next time just submit it to www.x-entertainment.com, K?

  • Tim R. (unregistered)

    Im down in the Philippines currently, and I have to say thats fairly common for meals of that type here. Most bottled water comes in 350 and 500ml varieties so that doesn't really surprise me.

    It's also pretty funny that you can get noodles en mass like that here which are just called egg noodles. Those types of meals are incredibly common and popular down here. Surprisingly the Philippines is a remarkably English environment, and poorly designed and worded packaging is common here.

    The store you got that meal from, also exists here. Wouldn't be surprised if the packaging told you it was produced over here somewhere.

  • (cs) in reply to n9ds
    n9ds:
    People people people....how can you NOT know that a 12 oz. can of beer is 355ml? It's printed on every can!
    Clearly, substituting beer for the water in preparing this mea1 would have kicked it up about 3,474 notches.
  • (cs) in reply to Shill
    Shill:
    Samuel:
    BTW, I asked my Argentine friend how much 350mL of water was, and he was able to _immediately_ give me a ballpark figure.

    What did he express this ballpark figure in?

    milliparks, of course.

  • igftw (unregistered) in reply to FredSaw
    FredSaw:
    igftw:
    What is this site coming to? Food reviews now!? I'm out of here!
    Don't talk about it. Do it.
    Er, you did see that that was a reference to the first comment? I was trying to express mild disapproval in a slightly humourous way, not actually "threatening" to leave.
  • Brady Kelly (unregistered)

    What's wrong with ramen noodles? They maybe don't make a real lunch, but they're free in our office, and worth it when they save a trip out for food in the middle of a debugging session.

  • (cs)

    ok, I'm just a bit curious here as no one has questioned this.

    "Artificial beef flavoring" Everyone is assuming that artificial is modifying the word flavoring, what if it is actually modifying the word beef?

    Like "artificial chicken flavoring" I want to know, what does an artifical chicken or cow taste like? Is an artifical chiken a rubber chicken? If so then I know it taste like rubber.
    I have never seen a rubber cow before butI have seen a fiberglass cow. Is this the artificial beef they say this is flavored like?

  • Edward Royce (unregistered) in reply to Yarrr
    Yarrr:
    Bad as they may be, MREs are light years beyond c-rats. Although I really dug the crackers in the can.

    But not the Ham & Eggs. Oh God in Heaven, never the damn Ham & Eggs.

  • (cs) in reply to Mr Ascii
    n9ds:
    People people people....how can you NOT know that a 12 oz. can of beer is 355ml? It's printed on every can!
    I have a can of Fuller's London Pride here. It's 500ml :-) That's the usual size of beer cans in the UK, and also common for bottles.
    JimM:
    1 cup is half a pint, but remember that's an American pint, which is 16 fl oz, rather than the British pint, which is 20 fl oz. Yes, not only does out beer taste better than yours, but we get it in bigger glasses, too ;^)
    Not as much bigger as you might think though - the American fluid ounce is LARGER than the British one. The US pint is thus 83% the size of the British, not 80%. Or should I say the wet pint - the pint of dry material (eg flour) is different again. The difference arose historically because there were many different gallons, for different substances (the pint always being 1/8 of the gallon). The US adopted the British wine gallon for all liquids, and corn gallon for all solids; the British then later changed everything to a new 'Imperial gallon'.
    Mr Ascii:
    I have the same problem with metric. I'm supposed to measure off a meter of something but it doesn't explain whether that is an ohmmeter, an ammeter, a postage meter or what!
    That's because you've been spelling it wrong. The unit of measurement is spelled METRE. The device for measuring things (not necessarily metres) is a METER.
  • Edward Royce (unregistered) in reply to n9ds
    n9ds:
    People people people....how can you NOT know that a 12 oz. can of beer is 355ml? It's printed on every can!

    You read beer cans?

    Me I usually hold beer cans upended and over my face so it's rather hard to read.

  • Edward Royce (unregistered) in reply to name
    name:
    Are all cups the same size?

    Not when measuring for bras.

  • Nicolas V. (unregistered)

    For those who wonder, the magical (fake) formula used to calculate the amount of calories in food is as follow:

    Fat x 9 + Carbs x 4 + Protein x 4 + Alcohol x 7

    Fat, Carbs, Protein and Alcohol in grams, of course.

    Yes, Alcohol is energetic.

  • Brady Kelly (unregistered) in reply to Cybercat
    Cybercat:
    Also, did you notice where it said SILICON DIOXIDE? Christ man, that shit is POISON. Literally. While eating it usually does nothing (passes right through you, it's indigestible) even breathing 0.1mg of it in can cause some pretty nasty reactions.

    I didn't see any mention of snorting lines of silicon dioxide, and if eating it does nothing, what's your problem?

  • Fonzy (unregistered)

    Alex, why the hell are you shopping at Dollar Tree? That place is the worst. That is the real WTF!

  • haoest (unregistered)

    sounds like Inedo needs to obey the minimum wage law :)

  • (cs) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:
    BobB:
    Your dried pack of authentic Chinese vegetables is freaking me out man... I think it's smiling at me... Those peas are the eyes... Oh god, did it just wink?

    How does winking work on three eyed creatures? I mean, does it count as winking if it blinks two out of its three eyes?

    Or is this one of those things where the prefex tells all? i.e. wink = one eye blink = two eyes at same time (total not specified) trink = three eye at same time?

    I like how Alex's tags the ultra-lame posts with a blue background so I know i can safely skip over them without missing any humor.

  • ChiefCrazyTalk (unregistered) in reply to rbowes
    rbowes:
    Haha, that's awesome!

    I'm vegan, so I frequently buy things that are made of "artificial beef" or "artificial chicken", and they usually don't taste too bad. However, the ingredient list has never, ever said, "artificial beef flavour" -- wtf does that even mean?

    This reminds me of the three levels of movie popcorn topping - butter, butter flavored topping, and artificial butter flavored topping.
  • Marvin the Martian (unregistered) in reply to KattMan
    KattMan:
    Is this the artificial beef they say this is flavored like?
    No, artificial beef is made from dogs, and artificial chicken is made of cats. If it's from china at least.
  • Frost (unregistered) in reply to Martin
    Martin:
    Malcolm:
    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    Sorry guys. I really cannot ( and do not want to ) understand this cup thing. Here, in the metric part of the world, we have a lot of different kinds of cups (Espresse, Cafe, mugs, etc...). Which cup am I supposed to use? Call me ignorant, perhaps you're having perfectly government standardized cups, and I just do not know. But most kitchens here really do have measuring container.

    Oddly enough, there is a standard volume called "a cup." You can even get measuring cups that measure in...cups. In the US, a cup is a half pint, 8 oz.

  • (cs) in reply to pitchingchris

    I dunno, I read 350ml and thought, "hey, that's about 12 ounces"

  • (cs) in reply to NE

    Ahh yes, just like the elementary school lesson on the importance of clear instructions.

    Student: "Put the peanut butter on the bread now!" Teacher: [Places peanut butter jar atop loaf of bread, still within bag.]

    THIS is why America has such stupid labels on consumer goods.

  • BobB (unregistered) in reply to savar
    savar:
    vt_mruhlin:
    BobB:
    Your dried pack of authentic Chinese vegetables is freaking me out man... I think it's smiling at me... Those peas are the eyes... Oh god, did it just wink?

    How does winking work on three eyed creatures? I mean, does it count as winking if it blinks two out of its three eyes?

    Or is this one of those things where the prefex tells all? i.e. wink = one eye blink = two eyes at same time (total not specified) trink = three eye at same time?

    I like how Alex's tags the ultra-lame posts with a blue background so I know i can safely skip over them without missing any humor.

    The dried vegetable pack made him tag this one blue!

  • wesley0042 (unregistered) in reply to MooseBrains
    MooseBrains:
    Always reminds me of the fact that Walkers crisps (also known as Frito-Lay potato chips) in all their flavours are vegetarian. Yes, that does include beef, prawn and chicken flavours.

    Walkers Sensations are far better than anything Frito Lay makes over here.

  • (cs)

    I had a Boston Market meal today. It's final instruction is: "Stir and enjoy." I would imagine if I ever called to complain about the meal they could simply disclaim it with, "You did not carefully follow the directions!"

  • jayh (unregistered) in reply to Ola
    Ola:
    I don't think rounding it off to 1 and 1/2 cup will ruin the meal.

    ... no, not any more than using the exact measurements would save it

    In truth now, flavors and scents have been perfected to the point that they need no correlation to the actual ingredient. One can simply use the same chemicals that the 'natural' product contains.

    I have friends in the candy business, and one of their big sellers is 'turkey dinner' with turkey, cranberry, stuffing, gravy, and pumpkin pie flavored candies.

  • Sacremon (unregistered)

    Interesting that no one has commented yet that while the package claims to have a net weight of 100g, the nutritional information claims that each serving, of which there are roughly two in the package, contains 103g of carbohydrates.

    If you add the weights together you have 130g per serving, so 4.6 calories/gram. About what you would expect from something that is largely starch.

    Silicon dioxide is probably in there as an anti-caking agent to make sure the powdered materials stay powdery, especially given how much (hydroscopic) salt there is in it. Inhaled silicon dioxide is a risk if you are actively mining the stuff - there are free radicals that form as a result the process, and inhaling those are bad. After a short while (hours) the free radicals have reacted with something already and the silicon dioxide is no longer as much a threat.

  • Biff (unregistered)

    What a great documentary :) Great break from the everlasting computerstuff we feed the brain.

    Captcha: damnum - As in... num num damnum these noodlesnum are greatnum num num?

  • (cs) in reply to Sacremon
    Sacremon:
    Interesting that no one has commented yet that while the package claims to have a net weight of 100g, the nutritional information claims that each serving, of which there are roughly two in the package, contains 103g of carbohydrates.
    Original Article:
    Even more impressive is how the Quick Meal delivers 206 grams of carbohydrates from a 100g package. And to think, this amazing treasure was only a single dollar!
    I can understand not reading all the other comments before adding your comment, but not reading the actual article?
  • Mark (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound

    The real WTF is that you're boggled by "350 ml"

    How about a 1-1/2 cup measuring cup? Just because the conversion between cups and milliliters is defined to nine significant digits doesn't mean you can (or should) convert a 2-significant digit value (350ml) into a nine-digit result. You have to round it off to the original precision; in this case, that would be 1.48 cups. And, really, 1.5 is good enough - especially for a product that's 206% carbohydrates by weight :)

    Further... all my kitchen measuring cups (Pyrex, purchased in the USA more than 10 years ago) are calibrated in both cups and milliliters. And, of course, in EVERY OTHER country on the planet, they measure things in milliliters, not cups, all without benefit of lab equipment.

  • whod (unregistered)

    Oh god, you got duped. Those are called instant noodles.

    And it shouldn't taste too good as well, unless it was made in Asia, where an appropriate amount of chemicals, which may or may not be harmful, is added to the flavouring (artificial beef).

    But you're right, they're the frugal choice. Impoverished and freshly employed grads across Asia subsist on them until their corporate overlords see it fit to raise their pay.

    cheers

  • whod (unregistered)

    An example of good, chemically refined tasty instant noodles, so next time you know what to look for:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maggi_noodles

  • Fedaykin (unregistered)

    The real WTF is that you (claim to) eat that kind of shit on a daily basis. No amount of money saved is worth the destruction of your health. The amount of salt in that meal was likely enough for a week.

  • Ovidiu (unregistered)

    From the looks of those noodles, perhaps the Quick Meal folks should market them as "LEGO building blocks" .

  • Stewie (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound

    What are you, a scientist?

    Round up to 1.5 cups and be done! Apologies if the rest of the world is on Metric and you're stuck in imperial.

  • (cs) in reply to whoisgregg
    whoisgregg:
    ::sigh:: I was writing a blog about this very advance in ramen noodle delivery technology. Oh well, you've done a better job at it. :)
    I believe the technical writing term for this is "damning with faint praise".
  • (cs)

    I once had the poor judgment to pick up a Thai Noodle Bowl of garlic chicken variety. I had never before been, and have never been since then, so violently ill for a period of SIX HOURS.

    I was dry heaving even after I had purged even the bubble gum that my body never digested from swallowing it as a kid. I began eating bread in the hope that it would soak up whatever vile demon was still trouncing my inner organs.

    Thank you for reminding me of that fateful late night at work. You bastard.

  • (cs) in reply to Cybercat
    Cybercat:
    Umm, you can get a pretty healthy meal without resorting to pre-packeged microwave meals. Eat vegetables :p

    Also, did you notice where it said SILICON DIOXIDE? Christ man, that shit is POISON. Literally. While eating it usually does nothing (passes right through you, it's indigestible) even breathing 0.1mg of it in can cause some pretty nasty reactions.

    Silicon dioxide is SAND. Yes, breathing it can cause silicosis, but did you fail to notice that this is supposed to be food? Breathing your food creates some more immediate concerns than dying of silicosis twenty years from now.

  • Brian (unregistered)

    You seriously eat sticks of butter for lunch? Maybe you want to try a 98 cent frozen banquet meal. At least it won't grease your colon quite as bad as the butter.

  • Cybercat (unregistered) in reply to PatrickS
    PatrickS:
    Cybercat:
    Also, did you notice where it said SILICON DIOXIDE? Christ man, that shit is POISON. Literally. While eating it usually does nothing (passes right through you, it's indigestible) even breathing 0.1mg of it in can cause some pretty nasty reactions.

    Silicon dioxide is a common food additive to help prevent clumping. Chances are you get your fair share as well!

    Actually, I eat organic and I read ALL my labels. I don't eat anything that says "dioxide" on it period and pretty much avoid most all preserved foods. There's quite a bit you can do with what's left over which is just about everything except pre-packaged microwave meals (if you know what to look for).

    Try unpreserved dried apricots (or simply un-sulfured). WAY better.

  • Cybercat (unregistered) in reply to Brady Kelly
    Brady Kelly:
    Cybercat:
    Also, did you notice where it said SILICON DIOXIDE? Christ man, that shit is POISON. Literally. While eating it usually does nothing (passes right through you, it's indigestible) even breathing 0.1mg of it in can cause some pretty nasty reactions.

    I didn't see any mention of snorting lines of silicon dioxide, and if eating it does nothing, what's your problem?

    You missed the part where 0.1mg can cause problems? That's a spec of dust floating up when you rip open the package. Also, what about the indigestible part? Or do you commonly eat rocks and glass? Actually, rocks and glass will partially digest, this will just give you the shits. Personally, I don't like having the shits but hey, if that's up your alley, more power to you :)

  • Everybody's a Critic (unregistered) in reply to igftw
    igftw:
    What is this site coming to? Food reviews now!? I'm out of here!

    The Daily What-The-Food?

    Kinda catchy, seems like a good opportunity for a rename.

    After that, The Daily Worse-Than-Food.

    Brillant.

  • Zach (unregistered) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:
    BobB:
    Your dried pack of authentic Chinese vegetables is freaking me out man... I think it's smiling at me... Those peas are the eyes... Oh god, did it just wink?

    How does winking work on three eyed creatures? I mean, does it count as winking if it blinks two out of its three eyes?

    Or is this one of those things where the prefex tells all? i.e. wink = one eye blink = two eyes at same time (total not specified) trink = three eye at same time?

    Actually the triple 'blink' would be a "bwink" (Blink + Wink = Bwink)

  • (cs) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    Outlaw Programmer:

    I think it was just a joke. If the average American is anything like me, the only type of measure instrument based on milliliters they encounter is in their High School chemistry class. Also, contrary to popular believe, I'm pretty sure most Americans realize how stupid our units of measurement are but realize that we're stuck with them anyway.

    That's true - if you've ever studied any science (physics was the one for me) then you realize how stupid the American measurements are. They aren't changing any time soon though.

    For the record, I am an American.

    If you're cooking, the American volume measurements make more sense than the metric ones. They're base-2, so the common cooking operations of doubling or halving a recipe are dead simple.

  • incoherent (unregistered) in reply to Brian
    Brian:
    You seriously eat sticks of butter for lunch? Maybe you want to try a 98 cent frozen banquet meal. At least it won't grease your colon quite as bad as the butter.
    Yeah, the Banquet meals aren't too bad for $1 each. Of course, like this (and pretty much every pre-packaged food) they're kind of high in sodium.

    CAPTCHA: persto. Is that fake pesto or something?

  • Danny V (unregistered)

    Step One: Put dehydrated veggies in hot water. Let sit. Step Two: Drain Water and Add Sauce & Artificial Beef Step Three: ????? Step Four: Delicious!!!

  • Bob (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound
    NCBloodhound:
    Malcolm:

    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    Do you have a 1.47936349 cup measuring cup?

    No, but if you round it to 1.5 cups I doubt the extra 0.02063651 cups will kill you.

Leave a comment on “The Quick Meal (Off Topic)”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article