• moz (unregistered) in reply to Gowerly
    Gowerly:
    That nutritional information is British, by the look of it,
    British nutritional information always gives values per 100g (or 100ml for liquids) for carbohydrates, fat and protein to the nearest 0.1g, and the energy per 100g in both kJ and kcal.

    You couldn't sell this meal as shown in the UK. I'm sure we can stumble on for a few more years without it.

  • DavidS (unregistered)

    How does this clock in at 56% of your daily fiber? Are the noodles made of baseboard or something?

  • (cs) in reply to Edward Royce
    Edward Royce:
    I'm not a crazed fan of ramen noodles. But a lot of people cook them and use them without ever using the spice packet.
    Ummm .. Why?

    What, sawdust not good enough for you folk?

  • Mccheese (unregistered)

    Isn't Silicon Dioxide Sand???

  • dunno (unregistered)

    there are a lot of such meals here, at the far east of russia. they vary from cheapest (~20 cents), that just go in a poly bag, to the most "luxurious" (~$1), like the one in this article. china is like only 40 km away from here, but i always thought that's a korean stuff actually. nowadays there are many russian produced noodle products with soylent beef and frozen vegetables too. so i don't really understand what's this article is all about. this is harsh everyday life :) anyway i like the $1 ones actually. w/beef of all others - they're the spiciest ones.

  • Cousarr (unregistered)

    I like how step two asks you to either let it sit for 4 minutes or place it in the microwave and cook it for 1 minute. This is after you've put in boiling water, cooking it in the microwave for 1 minute after this seems excessive. Also, don't letting it sit for four minutes and nuking it for one have entirely different results?

  • Rob (unregistered) in reply to Malcolm

    Who wants to do a freaking Google before they can eat a meal!?

    You cant talk like that, all us geeks then get tarred with the same brush.

    Captha: saluto!

  • (cs) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:
    BobB:
    Your dried pack of authentic Chinese vegetables is freaking me out man... I think it's smiling at me... Those peas are the eyes... Oh god, did it just wink?

    How does winking work on three eyed creatures? I mean, does it count as winking if it blinks two out of its three eyes?

    Or is this one of those things where the prefex tells all? i.e. wink = one eye blink = two eyes at same time (total not specified) trink = three eye at same time?

    Actually it's 'twink'. Google it!

  • ponchoman (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound

    There is no internationally agreed standard definition of the cup, which ranges in volume between 200 and 250 millilitres.[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cup_(unit)

    Anybody outside of the US will be comfortable with using ml as unit for liquids, any measuring cup will use ml on its scale.

  • (cs) in reply to ponchoman

    WRT no metric system in the US: think again folks and read this The metric system in the US.

    Basically, it boils down to American consumers being a bunch of lazy bums. :)

  • (cs) in reply to Cybercat
    Cybercat:

    You missed the part where 0.1mg can cause problems? That's a spec of dust floating up when you rip open the package.

    Be careful when you go to the beach. The beaches around here are COVERED in silicon dioxide. It's just disgusting and they need to clean it up.

  • (cs)

    I can definitely see this becoming a regular series. Especially for developers working in small to medium-sized businesses who might be on a tighter personal budget. Needs a catchy name though...

  • (cs)

    And you eat that?!?!?!?!?!?

    Come here and have this "http://www.dnevnik.bg/lib/showimg.php?filename=zx500_275503.jpg" for dollar and a half

  • Nick J (unregistered)

    I guess you are supposed to eat the Noodle block, packet and all.

    Also, 350 ml of water is not at all silly, and you don't need chemistry lab equipment - about 1/3 of a litre is good enough. Measuring things in 'cups' is silly. Really, America - it's about time you started using proper units! I have a number of cups in my kitchen, and they are of different sizes, so when instructions ask me to measure in cups, I don't know which cup to use!

  • Ken (unregistered)

    I'm just shocked that it only has 540mg of sodium. Those things usually have more sodium than anyone needs in a week.

  • A N Other (unregistered) in reply to Nick J
    Nick J:
    I guess you are supposed to eat the Noodle block, packet and all.

    Also, 350 ml of water is not at all silly, and you don't need chemistry lab equipment - about 1/3 of a litre is good enough. Measuring things in 'cups' is silly. Really, America - it's about time you started using proper units! I have a number of cups in my kitchen, and they are of different sizes, so when instructions ask me to measure in cups, I don't know which cup to use!

    I am a brit and agree cups are stupid but if all measurements are in cups then it does not matter on the size of cup as the relevant amounts will be correct. You will just end up with either more or less in the end.

  • Shinobu (unregistered) in reply to Rune
    Rune:
    But then again, 350ml is easy for me, because here in NL, everything is metric.
    Yep, here everything is metric and therefore all kitchen measuring cups provide a litre-derived scale, as well as possible other scales. Also, if you've used litres all your life, you can pour out 350 ml by eye when pressed.

    Also, if you're so poor, why don't you buy cheaper foodstuffs? I'll have a look at my last supermarket receipt and see if I have recently bought something within our budget, which I will take to be $1 = €0,64.

    Expensive rice that comes in litte sacks for easy cooking: €1,30 / 4 servings Chinese noodles: €0,52 / 2 servings

    • If you need flavour, add cheap spices and real peas (€0,95 / 3 servings) = €0,58 which will fill you up better too. A mix of fresh "bami vegetables" is about €0,80 / 3 servings if I remember correctly. A bread: €0,40 (lots of servings) 10 buns: €0,85 (5 servings)
    • Chocolate flakes are about €0,02 per bun. They don't taste as much like chocolate as you might hope though.
    • Chicken curry salad: €0,95 / 5 servings (with buns = €0,36 per serving)
    • Liver sausage: €3,40 / kg Vanilla pudding: €0,70 / l

    Just some random ideas. If you can afford to spend a dollar on a small instant meal, you can afford to eat real food too.

  • Shinobu (unregistered) in reply to Shinobu

    (In case it wasn't clear, the ‘you’ in ‘if you're so poor’ etc. is not Rune - should be obvious, but this is the Internet after all.)

  • (cs) in reply to Mr.T
    Mr.T:
    Am I missing something or hay they forgotten teh noodles in the cooking instructions? I assume the noodles are dried, so you have to wet them, too or not?

    No, they're wet. Well, not really wet, but you know, moist. I know this because of experience with a similar food product, an udon bowl I got a while ago. The noodles were like brains, and since the Noodle Block Pack was impossible to open, I could only get a little bit open and squeezed the noodles out like toothpaste. Udon noodles are significantly thicker than chow mein. Fun times.

  • Ketan (unregistered)

    If you have any Indian store around then get Maggie noodle pack from there. It is less than a dollar and far more delicious.

  • Jay (unregistered)

    Tangential comment to a tangential thread:

    The other day I was putting something in one of the two microwaves in our break room and I commented to a co-worker that I preferred this microwave because to cook something for, say, 4 minutes, I just had to push the "4" button, while on the other microwave, I had to push "time", "4", "0", "0", "start".

    Then I stopped as I realized: My ancestors crossed the North Sea in tiny open boats, braving freezing temperatures and violent storms, in order to catch a few scrawny fish to eat. Or they'd cross to Britain where they fight the natives to the death to plunder their land for food and trinkets. And to me, pressing four extra buttons is just too much work.

  • Contractor-rific (unregistered)

    I think I would have gone for the past-it's-freshness-date MRE than this little delight.

    At least with an MRE you get the cracker pack and their choice of grape jelly or peanut butter.

  • fp (unregistered)

    Almost as bad as the 'Hungry Man' lunch:

    http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0744/

    Yummalicious!

  • (cs) in reply to Gpa Hill
    Gpa Hill:
    Walleye:
    Joe:
    Foreign packages don't list measurements in the American system? What the FUCK, man.

    It's not just the American system. Myanmar and Libya use it, too!

    Dude, that's cold. I feel like I've been goatse-rolled, and I didn't even click on a link.

    GPa.

    There. Fixed that for ya.

  • rast (unregistered)

    If you somehow don't yet know what goatse is, you really are better off not knowing.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to Cybercat
    Cybercat:
    Umm, you can get a pretty healthy meal without resorting to pre-packeged microwave meals. Eat vegetables :p

    Also, did you notice where it said SILICON DIOXIDE? Christ man, that shit is POISON. Literally. While eating it usually does nothing (passes right through you, it's indigestible) even breathing 0.1mg of it in can cause some pretty nasty reactions.

    Seriously though, why not pick up carrots and lettuce? Sandwich materials at least?

    WTF are you talking about? SiO2 is nothing else than quartz or just plain stupid sand. How can that be poisonous? Go back to school!

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to Lars Vargas
    Lars Vargas:
    n9ds:
    People people people....how can you NOT know that a 12 oz. can of beer is 355ml? It's printed on every can!
    Well, the first one I'm far more interested in what's IN the can than ON the can. So I don't read or memorize it.

    After that, what's ON the can might be interesting, but it gets successively harder to read.

    For those who are interested what's IN the can: I'm pretty sure it's 355 ml.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:
    wink = one eye blink = two eyes at same time (total not specified) trink = three eye at same time?

    Prost!

  • Sebastian L. (unregistered)

    The american judical system allows people to sue companies for not writing 'Caution, water may be extremely hot!' onto the Package/Intructions of this type of food. That is why there are 'may induce sleepiness'-warnings on the box of sleeping pills. So, this warning is not for you to not burn yourself, but to keep the company from having to pay compensation, and therefore has a totally legit reason for being printed onto the package.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to rbowes
    rbowes:
    Haha, that's awesome!

    I'm vegan, so I frequently buy things that are made of "artificial beef" or "artificial chicken", and they usually don't taste too bad. However, the ingredient list has never, ever said, "artificial beef flavour" -- wtf does that even mean?

    Lemon Curry?

  • --jack (unregistered) in reply to DavidC

    Thetexture of the artificial beef is interesting... kinda spongy and squishy, yet chewy.

    You know, there's a reason why products end up at the Dollar Store. This is but one of them.

    (In all fairness, I eat this "soup" all the time. It's actually pretty good, if you can tolerate the salt and MSG.)

  • (cs) in reply to Sebastian L.
    Sebastian L.:
    The american judical system allows people to sue companies for not writing 'Caution, water may be extremely hot!' onto the Package/Intructions of this type of food. That is why there are 'may induce sleepiness'-warnings on the box of sleeping pills. So, this warning is not for you to not burn yourself, but to keep the company from having to pay compensation, and therefore has a totally legit reason for being printed onto the package.

    You just reminded me of a friend that bought one of those first "Burn-Proof" CD writers (the ones that have protection to avoid buffer underruns). We knew what the "Burn-proof" moniker was referring to, but we laughed at the small print:

    NOTICE: "Burn-Proof" refers to the capacity of protecting from buffer underruns while burning CDs, not to actual resistance against fire.

    All of this "Hot Water" stuff though reminds me of that lady suing McDonalds for burning herself with a McD's coffee spill. BTW, why do they serve scalding hot coffee??

  • WizardStan (unregistered) in reply to danixdefcon5
    danixdefcon5:
    All of this "Hot Water" stuff though reminds me of that lady suing McDonalds for burning herself with a McD's coffee spill. BTW, why do they serve scalding hot coffee??
    I've repeated this story so many times I've forgotten the exact details, but it basically goes as follows: There is a standard "serving temperature" for coffee. Hotter than this is too hot, apparently. McDonalds, by policy, brews (or did brew) coffee a few degrees warmer than this temperature, since it cools slightly as it sits. As I recall, this woman wanted coffee, but had to wait for a fresh pot. When the pot was done, rather than wait the length of time necessary for it to cool, her coffee was simply given to her right away, still several degrees above the expected serving temperature. This is why she won the lawsuit. Furthermore, the normal compensation for too-hot coffee (if I recal correctly) is one days coffee sale. So if she had been burned at Mom And Pop's Coffee Shoppe, you're looking at a few thousand maybe. This being McDonalds, the judge ordered the franchise to pay, resulting in the million dollar settlement as the coffee sales from all stores in the US were added up.
  • (cs) in reply to cklam
    cklam:
    And pizza is gets to be called "mafia cake".
    I quite like that. "Can I have a slice of Mafia cake, please? Toppings? Well, I'd rather have it Chicago-style, but I'm a huge fan of anchovies. Tonight, I sleep with the fishes.

    Probably, so does my girlfriend."

  • Shinobu (unregistered) in reply to WizardStan

    That doesn't sound very convincing. Coffee is normally served close to or at the boiling point. I know this, because when I in a bar or restaurant, I usually get myself a cup of coffee, and I've seen the boiling coffee poured in the cup before my very eyes. There are no warning messages on the cups or mugs, and you don't need them. You know that if you get the stuff all over you, you'll get horrible burns, and therefore you are careful when handling the cup. There is a risk involved in handling hot fluids. You know this, you take the responsibility or you stay away from them.

  • Drew (unregistered)

    It looks like you did it wrong. This looks like what's marketed here in Japan as "instant yakisoba", and usually the plastic lid over the styrofoam has a some holes that you use to drain the water after you heat up the noodles. After draining the water, then you add the other stuff and it's not quite as soupy.

  • Mark (unregistered)

    I have a chinese supermarket near where I live that sells an amazing variety of ready meals, and they have a much bigger selection then most of the big UK supermarkets! Not only that but they are much tastier and some even come with free crackers!! All for less then 1GBP!!

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to JimM
    JimM:
    Gowerly:
    That nutritional information is British, by the look of it, and we've gone to measuring things in ml.
    Only because the EU got snotty about us using our own measurements. The amusing thing is the fact that you can now buy things by the 568ml!
    Gowerly:
    I can only assume 1/2 cup is 8 fl. oz., so it's about 1.5 half cups, as mentioned.
    1 cup is half a pint, but remember that's an American pint, which is 16 fl oz, rather than the British pint, which is 20 fl oz. Yes, not only does out beer taste better than yours, but we get it in bigger glasses, too ;^)

    In the first place I wouldn't order out beer even if it comes in bigger glasses.

    BTW: the metric system was made a standard long time ago. Since nobody can convert from American to English then to French and then German system and so on all the time just to make business. The system is called "cgs" (centimetre, gramm, second) and makes lifes in Physics and other disciplines much easier. So you should rather blame the scientists for having this standard, not the EU.

    CAPTCHA: ludus - let's play games now

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to CoyneT
    CoyneT:
    This 350 ml thing is clearly a typo on the box.

    The thing is, a 1.5 cup measure (354.88 ml) is only above 350ml by 1.4%. In order for the recipe to work, they'd have to add another 3g of something to the box.

    ... but, you see, they did that. That's why the carbohydrates are 103g instead of 100 ... because they added the 3g of noodles necessary to go with the 1.5 cups of water.

    But then they totally blew it by forgetting to specify 355 ml on the box, instead of 350.

    They would have been off by 0.12g So they should only add 2.88g noodles which is not so easy with standard size noodles.

  • (cs) in reply to Drew
    Drew:
    It looks like you did it wrong. This looks like what's marketed here in Japan as "instant yakisoba", and usually the plastic lid over the styrofoam has a some holes that you use to drain the water after you heat up the noodles. After draining the water, then you add the other stuff and it's not quite as soupy.
    That sounds about right.

    "Fetch hither the instant yakisoba!"

    Alternatively, just give me shit on a stick. I'm American -- I was born without taste buds.

  • Ryos (unregistered)

    Alex, this is your funniest post yet. Bravo!

  • Ringo (unregistered)

    The real WTF is that you ate it.

    And also that you're posting a food review.

    It's been all down hill since the move away from code WTFs...

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to JimM
    JimM:
    DavidC:
    Sorry, never heard of 'Pot Noodle', but I don't get out much.
    I shouldn't worry about it; most people who've eaten one wish they'd never heard of Pot Noodle!

    WTF is a pot noodle. I am from a kinda noodle country/county but have never heard of it. I know, though, Dampfnudel(Vapour Noodle) but I think it's not the same. It's made in a pot (Topf), anyway.

    CAPTCHA: transverbero - maybe this is applicable here

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to James M
    James M:
    The thing I love most about this story is that you can almost imagine Alex's distress at this experience and the final decision of "Right, that's it, I have a group of people who listen to what I have to say every day and I'm gonna darn well vent my anger on them".

    If I had a website with a decent viewing figure and something I wanted to get off my chest, I'd go off topic too.

    What are u waiting for? We're waiting for your contribution to make the world happier.

  • (cs) in reply to ClaudeSuck.de
    ClaudeSuck.de:
    JimM:
    DavidC:
    Sorry, never heard of 'Pot Noodle', but I don't get out much.
    I shouldn't worry about it; most people who've eaten one wish they'd never heard of Pot Noodle!

    WTF is a pot noodle. I am from a kinda noodle country/county but have never heard of it. I know, though, Dampfnudel(Vapour Noodle) but I think it's not the same. It's made in a pot (Topf), anyway.

    CAPTCHA: transverbero - maybe this is applicable here

    A "Pot Noodle" is an English delicacy, beloved of students and the unemployed. It is best defined as something that doesn't come in a pot, and contains no noodles.

    Basically, you really don't want to know.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to Shill
    Shill:
    Samuel:
    BTW, I asked my Argentine friend how much 350mL of water was, and he was able to _immediately_ give me a ballpark figure.

    What did he express this ballpark figure in?

    Portughese

  • (cs)

    Screaming "Artifical Beef!" reassures vegetarians, for sure.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    The real WTF is that Alex is trying to guilt us into donating money to him with this obviously fabricated story. Apparently the old ads aren't generated much revenue and Alex needs to continue dining on caviar and unicorn steaks...

    I for one will never be coming back to this site again!

    /sarcasm :)

    All your adz are belong to us.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to Mr. Eff
    Mr. Eff:
    SomeCoder:

    That's true - if you've ever studied any science (physics was the one for me) then you realize how stupid the American measurements are. They aren't changing any time soon though.

    For the record, I am an American.

    If you've ever had to actually cook a meal you quickly realize how stupid metric measurements are. Whether or not imperial measurements are any good for science doesn't matter, cooking in metric is a pain in the ass. Imperial measurements exist for a reason - they are easy to approximate without making your kitchen look like a meth lab.

    OMG

    Have you ever had a look at all your cups at home and maybe, just maybe, found out that they are all of a different size? Now, how much is a cup? I prefer people telling me that it's 300 mL of water I have to add and then figure out which cup I use instead of having to fight between my Chinese tea cup and the old mug I use at work. The difference between them is merely a factor of 5 (50 vs 250 (actually it's bigger) mL).

    And BTW, if you measure your ingredients by cup, finger, wool sock, and I don't know what, I better never come to eat in your place.

  • ClaudeSuck.de (unregistered) in reply to FredSaw
    FredSaw:
    Samuel:
    Didn't it ever occur to you that the United States is perhaps the last country on the face of the planet to still use the imperial system of measurement? Even ye olde country, Britain, has stopped. Get over yourself, suck it up, and move on.
    I live in the USA, and I would really love to see us go metric. It works fine as a monetary system (10 pennies = 1 dime, 10 dimes = 1 dollar, etc.) even if the naming convention is offbeat ("cent" may be considered short for "centidollar", but I doubt "dime" is short for "decidollar", and we don't call a benjamin a "hectodollar".

    But the measuring system is firmly entrenched. It would be costly to replace all the road signs in miles with signs in kilometric, not to mention the vehicle speedometers and mileage gauges. And in construction, wall studs are placed exactly 16 inches apart. This is an industry standard, and I don't see it changing any time soon.

    So don't say, "Hey, you, quit hanging onto that old goofy imperial system." It isn't me; I'm ready. It's an entire country.

    And not to mention: here in Europe, water pipes are still more common in inches than in mm. They try to get around that but with all the installations with the thumb size...

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