• (cs) in reply to DavidC
    DavidC:
    Unless I missed something, you didn't critique the 'artificial beef'.
    I believe you missed the bit where the "artificial beef" is in fact a sachet of MSG and dehydrated soy sauce. From the pictures, I don't think there were any lumps of "artificial beef".

    Although that does prompt me to ask - do you not get "Pot Noodle" in the US? These generally have a decent quantity of soya-based protein included which ups the nutritional value of the meal significantly - athough the quality of the noodle tends to be lower than that of a true ramen (which are generally a decent quality wheat noodle, in my experience).

  • (cs)

    Wow, that "authentic vegetables and seasoning" bit WAS hard to find. I was staring right at the package photo and it still took me a minute to clue in.

    If those nutritional facts are correct (which they sure look like they're not), I'm very surprised by how low the sodium count is. Usually these things are PACKED with sodium, mostly due to the seasoning mix. Whenever I make ramen noodles I throw away half the seasoning and I still end up with a tasty bowl of noodles.

  • (cs) in reply to Cybercat
    Cybercat:
    Also, did you notice where it said SILICON DIOXIDE? Christ man, that shit is POISON. Literally. While eating it usually does nothing (passes right through you, it's indigestible) even breathing 0.1mg of it in can cause some pretty nasty reactions.

    Silicon dioxide is a common food additive to help prevent clumping. Chances are you get your fair share as well!

  • Martin (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound
    Malcolm:
    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    Sorry guys. I really cannot ( and do not want to ) understand this cup thing. Here, in the metric part of the world, we have a lot of different kinds of cups (Espresse, Cafe, mugs, etc...). Which cup am I supposed to use? Call me ignorant, perhaps you're having perfectly government standardized cups, and I just do not know. But most kitchens here really do have measuring container.

  • DavidC (unregistered) in reply to JimM

    Ah, that explains it. Blatant misrepresentation. To me, 'artificial beef' means chunks.

    Sorry, never heard of 'Pot Noodle', but I don't get out much.

  • (cs)

    1 dollar?? When I was a student (not long ago) I bought those for 0.25 EUR! And you left too much of the water in, which kind of spoils the look since all the "good stuff" sinks to the bottom of the bowl. Also: This is the only warm meal (besides soups) I know of that can be prepared with no more than a cheap water boiler. Good thing if you're sitting in the train with your laptop, no power socket and a USB-powered water boiler...but I digress.

  • (cs) in reply to DavidC
    DavidC:
    Sorry, never heard of 'Pot Noodle', but I don't get out much.
    I shouldn't worry about it; most people who've eaten one wish they'd never heard of Pot Noodle!
  • James M (unregistered)

    The thing I love most about this story is that you can almost imagine Alex's distress at this experience and the final decision of "Right, that's it, I have a group of people who listen to what I have to say every day and I'm gonna darn well vent my anger on them".

    If I had a website with a decent viewing figure and something I wanted to get off my chest, I'd go off topic too.

  • (cs)

    That was almost as good a read as http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0744/

    To be fair, the review of the Hungry Man All Day Breakfast is a classic.

    "Holy shit. Holy holy HOLY shit. 64 grams of fat, 2,090 milligrams of sodium, and enough cholesterol to kill anything that's ever lived."

  • Joseph (unregistered)

    I'm surprised how much less salt it has compared to ramen noodles.

  • SomeCoder (unregistered)

    I've been eating these types of meals lately to save some cash (though not quite this... low quality). There is a brand that's pretty good but I can't remember the name of it. The ones I bought recently were just awful though, about on par with this one I'm sure.

  • (cs) in reply to DoctorFriday
    DoctorFriday:
    I'm sure someone can cite better ramen (like the kind that is NOT manufactured and sold the good ol' USA) but this is about as close to a ramen snob's ramen as I can get.
    I would respectfully point you in the direction of Sanchi Ramen noodles. Not sure if they're available many places outside the UK, but the quality is Amazing. That said, they're not cheap...

    I feel like I'm really spamming this thread now, but it's hit ramen noodles and non-animal products, two things close to my heart; although I never thought I'd have a vegan noodle discussion on TDWTF...

  • floorpie (unregistered)

    The real WTF is that the powder packet contains Silicon Dioxide, which is, essentially, well, glass!

    captcha: genitus

  • Mark (unregistered) in reply to NCBloodhound
    NCBloodhound:
    Malcolm:

    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    Do you have a 1.47936349 cup measuring cup?

    Do you have a country that refuses to use perfectly logical and easily understood standards of measurement? If the U.S. doesn't want to convert to metric, fine, whatever. It's your own loss. But don't expect other countries to accommodate your ignorance.

    Any fluid measuring cup sold in a country using the metric system has mL marked on it. Most of us aren't scientists, either. Maybe it's just not as difficult as you thought, Alex.

  • (cs)

    Some of the funniest stuff I have read here. My co-workers are now reading it as I speak since they were wondering what all the LOL'ing was about.

  • (cs) in reply to Mark
    Mark:
    Any fluid measuring cup sold in a country using the metric system has mL marked on it. Most of us aren't scientists, either. Maybe it's just not as difficult as you thought, Alex.

    I think it was just a joke. If the average American is anything like me, the only type of measure instrument based on milliliters they encounter is in their High School chemistry class. Also, contrary to popular believe, I'm pretty sure most Americans realize how stupid our units of measurement are but realize that we're stuck with them anyway.

  • Adam (unregistered) in reply to floorpie

    Silicon dioxide is glass, but it's also sand, and in a spice context what you get is pretty much that. If you're lucky, it's dusty, if not, it's gritty.

  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to DavidC
    DavidC:
    Unless I missed something, you didn't critique the 'artificial beef'. Based on the label, the marketing folks believed this to be the single most important feature of this particular culinary delight.

    Was it chunks? What was the texture? Visual appeal? Bouquet? What food group do you think was the original source? Was it digestible? Any long term undesirable effects from consumption?

    My guess, based on those noodle-and-veggie meals that come in the oh-so-environmentally-friendly styrofoam cups, is the beef probably had a texture not unlike "small chunks of fine cleaning sponge" and a taste somewhere between "bargain-bin roast beef lunch meat" and "three-day-old sweat sock" -- the latter of the two being the the positive end of the scale.

  • JUST ANOTHER WTF (unregistered) in reply to Malcolm
    Malcolm:
    But I will say, I was a little put off by the “350ml” thing. Really… what am I, a scientist? Does the Quick Meal think I have beakers lying around to measure things in milliliters!? Just tell me how many cups or half-cups I need, Quick Meal.

    With modern technology it is now possible to convert from one unit to another, so it is no longer necessary to find measuring devices which happen to have the same units as the instructions.

    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    You might also note that a typical can of Pop in North America has a stated volumn of 355ml... which is close enough, just dump out the old flat Tab and reuse the can for your Quick Meal(tm)

  • (cs)
    Alex Papadimoulis:
    ...and grocery store free-sample binges (free… if you have no dignity)

    This isn't a joke. Every time Alex and I head to the grocery store for lunch, he makes at least one lap around the store partaking of each free sample.

  • Tick (unregistered)

    If it gets you a decent meal every now and then I could exclude thedailywtf from my adblocker. Since obesity is every americans dream ;-)

    Greetings from Germany Tick

  • Dad (unregistered)

    Alright, ALRIGHT, I'll send some money, dammit. I just hope your Mother isn't reading tdwtf this week. But I want one of those stickers.

  • Someone (how original) (unregistered)

    For future reference, one cup usually equals 200ml, so 350ml is 1 and 3/4 cups. (or two cups not filled to the brim)

  • Chris (unregistered) in reply to MooseBrains
    MooseBrains:
    Always reminds me of the fact that Walkers crisps (also known as Frito-Lay potato chips) in all their flavours are vegetarian. Yes, that does include beef, prawn and chicken flavours.

    IIRC they were all vegetarian, except for the cheese and onion one which wasn't, as it used non-veggie cheese.

  • Chris (unregistered) in reply to Martin
    Martin:
    Malcolm:
    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    Sorry guys. I really cannot ( and do not want to ) understand this cup thing. Here, in the metric part of the world, we have a lot of different kinds of cups (Espresse, Cafe, mugs, etc...). Which cup am I supposed to use? Call me ignorant, perhaps you're having perfectly government standardized cups, and I just do not know. But most kitchens here really do have measuring container.

    I guess you'd use a measuring cup, one of them being equal to one cup, or a measuring jug/beaker that's graded in cups. I actually have a jug that is marked in pints, cups and fl.oz, but (despite being from the UK) ml.

    For most stuff, you don't need to be all that accurate anyway - 350ml is 1.47something cups... so thats 1 and a half then.

  • Anonymouse (unregistered)

    The Quick Meal is nothing compared to the WTF-ness that is Cheeseburger in a Can.

  • SomeCoder (unregistered) in reply to Outlaw Programmer
    Outlaw Programmer:

    I think it was just a joke. If the average American is anything like me, the only type of measure instrument based on milliliters they encounter is in their High School chemistry class. Also, contrary to popular believe, I'm pretty sure most Americans realize how stupid our units of measurement are but realize that we're stuck with them anyway.

    That's true - if you've ever studied any science (physics was the one for me) then you realize how stupid the American measurements are. They aren't changing any time soon though.

    For the record, I am an American.

  • rast (unregistered) in reply to Beaker
    Beaker:
    I would be VERY worried about eating 112% of your daily fiber in one sitting.

    It'll take you more than one "sitting" to get rid of that.

    Heh, heh, heh.

  • DavidC (unregistered) in reply to Chris
    Chris:
    MooseBrains:
    Always reminds me of the fact that Walkers crisps (also known as Frito-Lay potato chips) in all their flavours are vegetarian. Yes, that does include beef, prawn and chicken flavours.

    IIRC they were all vegetarian, except for the cheese and onion one which wasn't, as it used non-veggie cheese.

    First time I traveled to the UK a colleague and I stopped at some petrol shop to get lunch on the fly. He started telling me about periodic promotions by the crisp makers, and went on to some length describing hedgehog-flavored crisps. I just wanted to know if they actually tasted like hedge hog, his only reply being Who's to say?.

    I'll bet someone over there knows, even if you won't admit it...

  • Polly Sherman (unregistered)

    Soya beans and essence of cow?

  • my name is missing (unregistered)

    It goes to show you that WTF's exist everywhere.

  • JonC (unregistered) in reply to MooseBrains
    MooseBrains:
    Always reminds me of the fact that Walkers crisps (also known as Frito-Lay potato chips) in all their flavours are vegetarian. Yes, that does include beef, prawn and chicken flavours.

    Ironically their mature cheddar flavour crisps are not vegetarian though as they contain animal rennet.

  • Samuel (unregistered)

    Lame. The biggest single WTF here is that you WTF'ed over the use of metric. Poor baby.

    Didn't it ever occur to you that the United States is perhaps the last country on the face of the planet to still use the imperial system of measurement? Even ye olde country, Britain, has stopped. Get over yourself, suck it up, and move on.

    BTW, I asked my Argentine friend how much 350mL of water was, and he was able to immediately give me a ballpark figure.

    Since it's likely you don't have a NON-US friend handy, didn't it occur to you to, you know, maybe grab that 1L bottle of soda I know you finished the day before, and fill it up just over 1/3rd of the way? Only have a half-liter bottle of spring water? OK, use roughly 2/3rds of that instead (since 0.5 * 0.6 = 0.30). Hey, man, math rules.

    C'mon. Stop bashing companies for using the metric system, particularly when it is patently, in-your-face obvious that it's an import, and get over yourself and this retarded measurement system that we still cling to like it's the end of the world. Use some common sense please. There are more WTFs with that food you just ate than the measurement system they used.

  • (cs)

    Maybe the nutritional information includes the box itself? I hear styrofoam and cardboard are pretty rich in carbohydrates.

  • (cs)

    I can see how today's article would have been immensely entertaining to someone who'd never heard of ramen noodles before.

    Seeing as we're mostly a bunch of geeks here, I'm guessing that's practically nobody then. What will it be next week? "Alex Discovers Microwave Burritos"? Good grief.

  • (cs)

    1 cup is 250ml, end of story.

    (yay, one for the antipodeans \o/)

    ((as I scroll down I see other parts of the world have different standards, but yay, the southern hemisphere appeared first so we win anyway \o/))

  • Porklovsky (unregistered)

    That Quick Meal is probably made of people who died eating Quick Meal.

    So who came first, the Quick Meal or the Corpse?

  • (cs) in reply to Martin
    Martin:
    Malcolm:
    Try entering "350ml in cups" into Google.

    Sorry guys. I really cannot ( and do not want to ) understand this cup thing. Here, in the metric part of the world, we have a lot of different kinds of cups (Espresse, Cafe, mugs, etc...). Which cup am I supposed to use? Call me ignorant, perhaps you're having perfectly government standardized cups, and I just do not know. But most kitchens here really do have measuring container.

    I have the same problem with metric. I'm supposed to measure off a meter of something but it doesn't explain whether that is an ohmmeter, an ammeter, a postage meter or what!

    Besides, the metric system is imprecise, a liter is about a quart, a meter is about three feet, etc. I want EXACT measurements!

    /sarcasm

  • Shill (unregistered) in reply to Samuel
    Samuel:
    BTW, I asked my Argentine friend how much 350mL of water was, and he was able to _immediately_ give me a ballpark figure.

    What did he express this ballpark figure in?

  • (cs) in reply to Adam
    Adam:
    Silicon dioxide *is* glass, but it's also sand, and in a spice context what you get is pretty much that. If you're lucky, it's dusty, if not, it's gritty.

    Glass is NOT silicon dioxide (quartz "glass" is). Common glass is calcium/sodium/potassium silicate. Melts much easier than plain SiO2, that's why.

  • (cs) in reply to vt_mruhlin
    vt_mruhlin:

    How does winking work on three eyed creatures? I mean, does it count as winking if it blinks two out of its three eyes?

    Or is this one of those things where the prefex tells all? i.e. wink = one eye blink = two eyes at same time (total not specified) trink = three eye at same time?

    I'm pretty sure one-eyed creature would wink as you wank.

  • John (unregistered) in reply to Anonymouse
    Anonymouse:
    The Quick Meal is nothing compared to the WTF-ness that is Cheeseburger in a Can.

    Yep, this product is going to hit the big time.

  • DFK (unregistered)

    I looked for a donate button.

    I couldn't find one.

    ...

    I'd buy you a 6-pack and Subway but hell, I don't know where to send the money.

  • Sepheus (unregistered)
  • (cs) in reply to Shill
    Shill:
    Samuel:
    BTW, I asked my Argentine friend how much 350mL of water was, and he was able to _immediately_ give me a ballpark figure.

    What did he express this ballpark figure in?

    350 mL == 0.00000000006378 ballparks

  • dckter (unregistered)

    Fucking students

  • (cs) in reply to Mr Ascii
    Mr Ascii:
    I have the same problem with metric. I'm supposed to measure off a meter of something but it doesn't explain whether that is an ohmmeter, an ammeter, a postage meter or what!

    Besides, the metric system is imprecise, a liter is about a quart, a meter is about three feet, etc. I want EXACT measurements!

    /sarcasm

    You could ask lovely Rita, the Meter Maid.

  • (cs)
    Alex P.:
    discarded military MREs (free… if you know where to look)

    The dumpster behind the military base?

  • J Rob (unregistered)

    Alex,

    I humbly request more Off Topic posts.

    Pure beauty!

    Sincerely,

    J Rob

  • mestafais (unregistered)

    now i feel bad for liking you site knowing that the time you spend on it makes you poor enough to eat this crap.

    The laughs I got from the text were crushed by the feelling that I'm going to hell.

    Thanks.

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