The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

Gunslinger:
what is this I dont even

FTFY

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

No because a Result Set doesn't actually have a size attribute. When dealing with large datasets its more like a stream than a static set.

Maurits · 2011-04-06 Reply Admin

hoodaticus:
The count methods on recordset classes are only accurate once the entire set has been iterated.

Depends on the cursor you choose. Firehose cursors, agreed. But there are other options.

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

North American Guy:
Nagesh:
I doubt bogus boris has killed anything bigger than a fly or moskito. BTW, do you have moskitoes in North America?

Dear God, yes. Mosquitoes so big you need to brace yourself if they land on you. You need to hit them twice, once to stun, then again, better aimed, to kill. They fly off, guts so huge and full of blood, will turn the river red when they go to lay eggs.

At least they rarely carry malaria in North America.

boog · 2011-04-06 Reply Admin

Bill's Kid:
North American Guy:
Mosquitoes so big you need to brace yourself if they land on you. You need to hit them twice, once to stun, then again, better aimed, to kill. They fly off, guts so huge and full of blood, will turn the river red when they go to lay eggs.
At least they rarely carry malaria in North America.

Indeed. They carry small children away instead.

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

Whiskey:
Press Alt-F4 to reply to this comment.
It was worth a try.

I tried that, but it only send me to 4. virtual screen, so I just pressed Alt+F2 to go back here and then i clicked QUOTE.

It is supposed to do something interesting instead?

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

Derp:
It just dawned on me that the only things that make these "WTFs" is the level of impatience or frustration the "victim" gains in each story.
Most of us can probably laugh and live with little derpy moments like this.

Apparently, though, folks like jbanic need to "regain their cool" frist. Maybe the short fuse is the difference between a good job and a bad one.

I expected something about root permissions :(

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

Gary:
Sorrybutyou'llneedtoseparatethewordsinthecommentsprogrammatically.
Andwaitaminute.mrootisatotalidiotbutknowshowtousethisloopconstruct?
if (rs.next()) {}

In a similar vein to the Case-Sensitive vs case-insensitive arguments, I think there is a clear case for languages that are whitespace-insensitive. It was clear the other day that people expect the computer to be able to simply know what they meant.

(yes, don't bother posting, I am aware of the language WhiteSpace)

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

EmperorOfCanada:
I am repeatedly shocked by the number of programmers who can't program. I once tried to explain Associative arrays to two programmers who had graduated from Waterloo. I used every synonym and semi synonym that I could come up with: Key value pairs, hashes, thing where you put in a string and it stores and retrieves a value, etc. They both sat there and looked at me blankly. So then I had to give a tutorial on the whole concept with them leaving the meeting thinking that I had made my code unnecessarily complex and could have just used a bunch of arrays and sorted/searched through them. But my favorite programmers are the one tool programmers; especially if the tool is obscure such as the Natural language or Adabas.

I'm no longer shocked by programmer's who can't program.

I've worked with programmers who don't realise that there are data structures other than lists (in fact, I'm not sure they really comprehend the concept of data structures). What does disturb me a little, is that they often seem afraid to use other data structures even when they're available (that is, it's not just that they don't understand them enough to create their own, they are scared of anything that isn't a list because it's "too complex". These also tend to be the people who over-engineer solutions and come up with constructs like "if(false) return false;".

I can forgive people not knowing a particular language (and particularly not knowing an obscure part of a particular language), but not understanding the most basic fundamentals (as is the case here too) is a major problem.

Pr0gramm3r · 2011-04-06 Reply Admin

Just add a new table in the db containing all domain names.

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

itsmo:
Warren:
I can shortcut the entire comments thread:
brainless first-posts people who haven't got the joke or feel sorry for the wtf-creator people calling shenanigans people who insist upon slightly different solutions people who argue about the slightly different solutions people who say it would all be easier in another language / OS / etc.

You forgot people who comment on the comments.

Spread amongst them is people who think it's really clever to do stuff with the captcha.

Captcha: id10t

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

tehR:
Derp:
It just dawned on me that the only things that make these "WTFs" is the level of impatience or frustration the "victim" gains in each story.
Most of us can probably laugh and live with little derpy moments like this.

Apparently, though, folks like jbanic need to "regain their cool" frist. Maybe the short fuse is the difference between a good job and a bad one.

Agreed. From a technical perspective nothing in the supplied code was particularly WTFy. Story reduces to a guy who has existing code but wants it to do a bit more, yet doesn't know right off the bat (the horror!) how to get it done.

Junior dbag, in his infinite wisdom, feels time spent helping a colleague learn something new is an absolute waste of his own life and so has to sign off of AIM in order to cool off and a void a heart attack.

Classy.

That's right. Junior is a twat for not simply accepting that many Senior Programmers are incompetent faggots. Helping a colleague is one thing, but having a co-worker ask a stupid question about a simple problem (that a little bit of googling would have helped) is another.

If mroot expects jnr to do his work for him, he should be happy to surrender some of his salary (especially given jnr is presumably getting his own work done on top of these stupid requests). If you're too shit to do your own job, don't expect someone else to be happy about picking up the pieces.

I have previously had clashes with Project Managers about exactly this - if I am expected to invest significant amounts of work to make sure someone else achieves their requirements, then I expect that some of the money they are paid to do their job should be forfeited to me - they were presumably hired art a particular rate to complete a particular job. If they cannot adequately fulfill this obligation, then they shouldn't be paid the agreed rate. (I guess I'm talking specifically about 'expert teams' brought in to achieve specific objectives - if they are paid as experts, they don't need my help (other than program/functionality specific questions). If they want to ask me 'expert' questions, then I think it is reasonable that I get some of their 'expert' salary).

2011-04-06 Reply Admin

boog:
Ken B.:
My name is Harry Potter. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Same story, no "flavor".
Hell, the original quote has more flavor. Something about the name "Inigo Montoya" just makes it more fun to say.

Given how long ago the first Harry Pothead books were written, I think it's quite likely that many of the fans have now grown up. I guess it's like all the people before them who never grew out of "Star Wars".

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

<QUOTE> If mroot expects jnr to do his work for him, he should be happy to surrender some of his salary (especially given jnr is presumably getting his own work done on top of these stupid requests). If you're too shit to do your own job, don't expect someone else to be happy about picking up the pieces. </QUOTE>

Could have been worse.

Imagine boss tells you to help with nitwit-expert's project. Nitwit gets argumentative about it. Discussion about why 2 plus 2 is 4 ensue. Lots of wasted time over it. Boss asks you to write some code to help this project. Which you do, test it, and including instructions (integration, use) hand it over to nitwit. About a days work for you, so far. Nitwit has no time. A week later he still has no time. Agues, he has no time to test it. (My thoughts at this point: "Do you suggest I hand over untested, non-functional code? Maybe that is what you would have done." - The code had been tested in a replica of nitwit's environment.) No matter, he still does not do anything with it. On the side, you overhear nitwit to talk to another colleague about implementing what you already did. Collegue seems to understand the issues at hand very well, nitwit apparently not. Now 3 weeks have passed since handover. Boss remembers the contribution you where asked to be doing 3 weeks ago. And he wants to see results. Next: you task switch, your memory has faded, E-mails have been lost, digging out some information is required, accusations fly, another day wasted. Weeks later colleague number 3 comes to you, asking for support about said code. (He now manages said nitwit, as boss has given up on him.) Doesn't help collegue #3 arrives during a crisis and want's support right now. At that point you wish, you had never ever helped anybody!

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

The RWTF is looping with an if statement. Who needs Java7...

if (rs.next()) { }

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Anonymous Coder:
<QUOTE> If mroot expects jnr to do his work for him, he should be happy to surrender some of his salary (especially given jnr is presumably getting his own work done on top of these stupid requests). If you're too shit to do your own job, don't expect someone else to be happy about picking up the pieces. </QUOTE>
Could have been worse.

Imagine boss tells you to help with nitwit-expert's project. Nitwit gets argumentative about it. Discussion about why 2 plus 2 is 4 ensue. Lots of wasted time over it. Boss asks you to write some code to help this project. Which you do, test it, and including instructions (integration, use) hand it over to nitwit. About a days work for you, so far. Nitwit has no time. A week later he still has no time. Agues, he has no time to test it. (My thoughts at this point: "Do you suggest I hand over untested, non-functional code? Maybe that is what you would have done." - The code had been tested in a replica of nitwit's environment.) No matter, he still does not do anything with it. On the side, you overhear nitwit to talk to another colleague about implementing what you already did. Collegue seems to understand the issues at hand very well, nitwit apparently not. Now 3 weeks have passed since handover. Boss remembers the contribution you where asked to be doing 3 weeks ago. And he wants to see results. Next: you task switch, your memory has faded, E-mails have been lost, digging out some information is required, accusations fly, another day wasted. Weeks later colleague number 3 comes to you, asking for support about said code. (He now manages said nitwit, as boss has given up on him.) Doesn't help collegue #3 arrives during a crisis and want's support right now. At that point you wish, you had never ever helped anybody!

wants . No aprostrophe. Not ever.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Pr0gramm3r:
Just add a new table in the db containing all domain names.

Just add a new table in the db for every domain name.

FTFY

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

itsmo:
wants . No aprostrophe. Not ever.

I disagree with your assertion that an apostrophe is not ever required. It was wrong in that particular context but it is a perfectly valid contraction of "want is", for example:

"All I want is a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

"All I want's a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

MrBester:
I call shenanigans. Everybody has heard of Split.
That, plus it took clueless over an hour to come up with adding a comma after each value.

Yep, I agree.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Arnold:
MrBester:
I call shenanigans. Everybody has heard of Split.
That, plus it took clueless over an hour to come up with adding a comma after each value.

Yep, I agree.

New to IT? Well, you'll get used to this sort of crap before you know it.

WthyrBendragon · 2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Your taking separated information and building a string - which you then want to parse to re-separate?
Since when is a list not an array?
Senior programmer who doesn't understand basic string parsing should turn in his/her geek card.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

WthyrBendragon:
1) Your taking separated information and building a string - which you then want to parse to re-separate?

It's called XML processing and underlies the hypes of the last years: SOAP, WebServices, SOA, SaaS, Cloud Computing.

WthyrBendragon:
2) Since when is a list not an array?

Since the invention of linked lists.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Pedant:
itsmo:
wants . No aprostrophe. Not ever.
I disagree with your assertion that an apostrophe is not ever required. It was wrong in that particular context but it is a perfectly valid contraction of "want is", for example:
"All I want is a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

"All I want's a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

Yes and if you had a friend called Want and he had a dog then that would be Want's dog. In my particular dialect of English, no-one would contract 'want is' in that way (Not ever).

Anyway if what you wants is a nice discussion and no fucking pedantry then you needs to visit some other site.

HAND.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

BentFranklin:
Everybody who said split() is wrong. The data is already in memory, so why copy it to a string and then parse that? Just use it already. That's why this story is wtf-worthy, not because the guy couldn't split().

EXACTLY! Can't believe I had to read through 3 pages of responses before finding someone who got this. It's the first thing I thought of: "Create an array? It's already in one (rs)!"

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

If you ask me, I think real "what the f?" is using am/pm. So much easier to refer to. Why waste digits. Something tell me this kid is not hot sh-- he think he is.

CAPTCHA: eros -- Ha ha ha! Someone have error mispelling "errors"!

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

BentFranklin:
Everybody who said split() is wrong. The data is already in memory, so why copy it to a string and then parse that? Just use it already. That's why this story is wtf-worthy, not because the guy couldn't split().

YHBT. YHL. HAND.

SwampJedi · 2011-04-07 Reply Admin

I'd have never thought to find NSFW images in the TDWTF comments. That's TRWTF. =P

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

SwampJedi:
I'd have never thought to find NSFW images in the TDWTF comments. That's TRWTF. =P

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

itsmo:
SwampJedi:
I'd have never thought to find NSFW images in the TDWTF comments. That's TRWTF. =P

You mean the 'tasty murder' logo - yes, shocking.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
It has come to point where if I make any single comment, everybody want to jump and say "Troll".

How do you imagine that point was reached?

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Pedant:
itsmo:
wants . No aprostrophe. Not ever.
I disagree with your assertion that an apostrophe is not ever required. It was wrong in that particular context but it is a perfectly valid contraction of "want is", for example:
"All I want is a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

"All I want's a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

All I want is a nice discussion without fucking all these pedants.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Arnold:
MrBester:
I call shenanigans. Everybody has heard of Split.
That, plus it took clueless over an hour to come up with adding a comma after each value.

Yep, I agree.

So you think that a Split is in order to undo the Join that he manually implemented?

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Billy Goat Gruff #1:
Nagesh:
It has come to point where if I make any single comment, everybody want to jump and say "Troll".

How do you imagine that point was reached?

You have been trolled. You have lost. Have a nice day.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Personally, I don't like to do the list/array conversion because it's phenomenally slow in Java. It also creates a TON of extra references, which the garbage collector chokes on if you're doing any sort of time-sensitive operation. Here's what I would do instead:

PreparedStatement ps  = connection.prepareStatement("SELECT * FROM email_contact");
ResultSet rs = ps.executeQuery();
String[] array = new String[0];
if (rs.next()) {
     String email = rs.getString("email");
     tmpArray = new String[array.length + 1];
     for (int i = 0; i < array.length; i++) {
          tmpArray[i] = array[i];
     }
     array = tmpArray;
}

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

The Nerve:

Fixed?

PreparedStatement ps  = connection.prepareStatement("SELECT * FROM email_contact");
ResultSet rs = ps.executeQuery();
String[] array = new String[0];
if (rs.next()) {
     String email = rs.getString("email");
     tmpArray = new String[array.length + 1];
     for (int i = 0; i < array.length; i++) {
          tmpArray[i] = array[i];
     }
     array = tmpArray;
}

.

FTFY

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Leader of the Troll Amry:
Billy Goat Gruff #1:
Nagesh:
It has come to point where if I make any single comment, everybody want to jump and say "Troll".

How do you imagine that point was reached?
You have been trolled. You have lost. Have a nice day.

Technically, isn't everyone in this forum being trolled constantly? I mean, some bite, and some don't; but as long as their are trolls, you're being trolled.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Random Man:
Leader of the Troll Amry:
Billy Goat Gruff #1:
Nagesh:
It has come to point where if I make any single comment, everybody want to jump and say "Troll".

How do you imagine that point was reached?
You have been trolled. You have lost. Have a nice day.
Technically, isn't everyone in this forum being trolled constantly? I mean, some bite, and some don't; but as long as their are trolls, you're being trolled.

Let's not get pedantic about semantics.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

I'm currently studying CS at Waterloo, and your comment made me get a chill up my spine...

I'm first year and even I know that stuff.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
I'm currently studying CS at Waterloo, and your comment made me get a chill up my spine...
I'm first year and even I know that stuff.

Water who?

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

TRWTf is that it took him more than an hour to figure out how to separate the emails with commas.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Billy Goat Gruff #1:
Pedant:
itsmo:
wants . No aprostrophe. Not ever.
I disagree with your assertion that an apostrophe is not ever required. It was wrong in that particular context but it is a perfectly valid contraction of "want is", for example:
"All I want is a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

"All I want's a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

All I want is a nice discussion without fucking all these pedants.

All I want is a nice discussion without wearing all these pendants.

HellKarnassus · 2011-04-07 Reply Admin

drusi:
Billy Goat Gruff #1:
Pedant:
itsmo:
wants . No aprostrophe. Not ever.
I disagree with your assertion that an apostrophe is not ever required. It was wrong in that particular context but it is a perfectly valid contraction of "want is", for example:
"All I want is a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

"All I want's a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

All I want is a nice discussion without fucking all these pedants.

All I want is a nice discussion without wearing all these pendants.

All I want is a nice discussion without wearing out my pendants.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

The comments are generally pretty retarded at the best of times but I love the way that they devolve into utter banality if a new article doesn't get posted on time. Everyone has completely run out of legitimate comments and just troll the trolls who are invariable trolling trolls or being trolled by trolls. I'm pretty sure this is somehow a metaphor for life in general.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
The comments are generally pretty retarded at the best of times but I love the way that they devolve into utter banality if a new article doesn't get posted on time. Everyone has completely run out of legitimate comments and just troll the trolls who are invariable trolling trolls or being trolled by trolls. I'm pretty sure this is somehow a metaphor for life in general.

I'd say it's more like when a teacher leaves the classroom of a grade 6 class...

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
The comments are generally pretty retarded at the best of times but I love the way that they devolve into utter banality if a new article doesn't get posted on time. Everyone has completely run out of legitimate comments and just troll the trolls who are invariable trolling trolls or being trolled by trolls. I'm pretty sure this is somehow a metaphor for life in general.

I'm going to re-iterate my request that you stop using that distasteful word. It brings up struggles and responsibilities that you can not even imagine.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Bob:
Anonymous:
The comments are generally pretty retarded at the best of times but I love the way that they devolve into utter banality if a new article doesn't get posted on time. Everyone has completely run out of legitimate comments and just troll the trolls who are invariable trolling trolls or being trolled by trolls. I'm pretty sure this is somehow a metaphor for life in general.
I'm going to re-iterate my request that you stop using that distasteful word. It brings up struggles and responsibilities that you can not even imagine.

Oh shut up, retard.

HellKarnassus · 2011-04-07 Reply Admin

Anonymous:
The comments are generally pretty retarded at the best of times but I love the way that they devolve into utter banality if a new article doesn't get posted on time. Everyone has completely run out of legitimate comments and just troll the trolls who are invariable trolling trolls or being trolled by trolls. I'm pretty sure I'm going to strangle the penguin if there is no new article.

boog, is that you?

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

heh heh:
Bob:
Anonymous:
The comments are generally pretty retarded at the best of times but I love the way that they devolve into utter banality if a new article doesn't get posted on time. Everyone has completely run out of legitimate comments and just troll the trolls who are invariable trolling trolls or being trolled by trolls. I'm pretty sure this is somehow a metaphor for life in general.
I'm going to re-iterate my request that you stop using that distasteful word. It brings up struggles and responsibilities that you can not even imagine.

Oh shut up, retard.

It's a good thing Bob doesn't play classical music - he'd go apeshit every time a composer wanted him to slow down a little.

frits · 2011-04-07 Reply Admin

HellKarnassus:
drusi:
Billy Goat Gruff #1:
Pedant:
itsmo:
wants . No aprostrophe. Not ever.
I disagree with your assertion that an apostrophe is not ever required. It was wrong in that particular context but it is a perfectly valid contraction of "want is", for example:
"All I want is a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

"All I want's a nice discussion without all these fucking pedants."

All I want is a nice discussion without fucking all these pedants.

All I want is a nice discussion without wearing all these pendants.
All I want is a nice discussion without wearing out my pendants.

All I want is an ice discussion without wearing a pea coat.

2011-04-07 Reply Admin

heh heh:
Bob:
Anonymous:
The comments are generally pretty retarded at the best of times but I love the way that they devolve into utter banality if a new article doesn't get posted on time. Everyone has completely run out of legitimate comments and just troll the trolls who are invariable trolling trolls or being trolled by trolls. I'm pretty sure this is somehow a metaphor for life in general.
I'm going to re-iterate my request that you stop using that distasteful word. It brings up struggles and responsibilities that you can not even imagine.

Oh shut up, retard.

YHBT. YHL. HAND.

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