The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2009-06-23 Reply Admin

spike:
Who the hell is Tim? You know there is a problem when you have to stop and re-read the damn article multiple times just to follow along. The tim walked in and shat on the floor.

Hello...Here I am

Code Dependent · 2009-06-23 Reply Admin

j0k3r:
Frankly, all of these stories suck. The first is just a bad pun. The second one goes nowhere and the grammar makes it almost unreadable. The third one is about a guy who let an arrogant ass walk all over him (Good on ya Drew!).

And here you are on the second page of comments, weighing in weightlessly rather than posting something worth reading.

2009-06-23 Reply Admin

joelkatz:
... At a computer sat a rather large man who was almost naked, sitting on a chair covered with a towel.
He invited me to sit down on the chair across from him (also at a computer, but it was facing towards him instead), also covered with a towel. After I did, he volunteered that the towels are there because he and his wife frequently work naked.

...

At least they had their towels.

2009-06-23 Reply Admin

Oblivious to the interview, Tim froze for a few seconds and stared intently at an invisible point about two feet from his face. Suddenly, he scrunched his face like he'd eaten the sourest thing in the world. It was almost as if his face was collapsing inwards.

Sounds like the sort of menacing, unsettling scene David Lynch excels in. Mentally, I cast Crispin Glover as Tim.

2009-06-23 Reply Admin

I went on an interview that went very well. The work was in a field that I knew and loved, the project manager and I hit it off right away, and the pay was good. Then the manager took me down the hall to meet the other engineers and programmers. The first one I spotted was the asshole my girlfriend had just dumped me for.

I then gently explained to the manager that under the circumstances I could not take the job. When he heard the names, he realized that my ex-GF had just been hired in the adjacent department and agreed with my decision. He then gave me a couple of leads at other companies.

In the end, everything worked out. The asshole and my ex-GF got married, he legally adopted her two kids, they got divorced and he got stuck with child support! :-)

2009-06-23 Reply Admin

Adriano:
Argh. QWERTY. Serves me right for using Dvorak.

What the hell? W and U are no where close to each other on Dvorak.

2009-06-23 Reply Admin

Lets not start this again:
blah:
Shame on you Alex. The girl ran off from an Austrian company and you didn't make her part with an "I'll be back."

She was scared of the Dingos...

The real WTF is not being able to tell "Austria" and "Australia" apart.

2009-06-23 Reply Admin

IDDT was to reveal map and second time to reveal where are monsters.
I think you're referring to IDCLIP...

We're talking about Doom, not Doom ][. The code he is referring to is IDSPISPOPD (and no, I did not look that one up, either :)

ContraCorners · 2009-06-23 Reply Admin

MetaMan:
Just ask yourself, who would Megan Fox do in a situation like this?

FTFY

j0k3r · 2009-06-23 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
j0k3r:
Frankly, all of these stories suck. The first is just a bad pun. The second one goes nowhere and the grammar makes it almost unreadable. The third one is about a guy who let an arrogant ass walk all over him (Good on ya Drew!).
And here you are on the second page of comments, weighing in weightlessly rather than posting something worth reading.

And here you are on the third page of comments, weighing in weightlessly on my comment rather than posting something worth reading.

That's how I roll... If you don't like my opinion, then don't read it. This is my registered username so feel free to skip my comments next time.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

You say introvert like it's a bad thing :(

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Regarding the "too windy" interviewee; if the office is in Vienna and in the Donau City, I can understand completely. Even the mildest of windy days can seem like a hurricane in that place.

In fact, there have been quite a few people seriously injured after being picked up by the wind rushing through those high buildings and slammed against walls, or thrown down steps. Every day that I've been there to take our baby girl to the pediatrician for routine check-ups, it's always been a major battle just to get from the u-bahn station.

I'm not sure I would want to work there either until they install some wind breaks by the Donau.

4merK0d34 · 2009-06-24 Reply Admin

configurator:
I've always wanted to work at a place where the doors slide up.

ROFL! That is absolutely precious! I'm going to remember to use that one.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Martin:
I went on an interview that went very well. The work was in a field that I knew and loved, the project manager and I hit it off right away, and the pay was good. Then the manager took me down the hall to meet the other engineers and programmers. The first one I spotted was the asshole my girlfriend had just dumped me for.
I then gently explained to the manager that under the circumstances I could not take the job. When he heard the names, he realized that my ex-GF had just been hired in the adjacent department and agreed with my decision. He then gave me a couple of leads at other companies.

In the end, everything worked out. The asshole and my ex-GF got married, he legally adopted her two kids, they got divorced and he got stuck with child support! :-)

Dating a girl that already has two kids? WTF!

tdittmar · 2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Xythar:
Lets not start this again:
blah:
Shame on you Alex. The girl ran off from an Austrian company and you didn't make her part with an "I'll be back."

She was scared of the Dingos...

The real WTF is not being able to tell "Austria" and "Australia" apart.

The real WTF is your sarcasm detector...

boh · 2009-06-24 Reply Admin

I am going through resumes to interview for a dev position where I work, and recently got a little gem of a resume, though I suspect this is far from the norm - it's just the first that I've received: The cumulative education and experience of the applicant is as follows (cut'n paste cause I am certain that the applicant doesn't visit thedailywtf)
Forklift Operator 2007

Obtained certificate in the safe operation of forklifts Red Cross 2007

Current Standard First Aid

I'll just translate this resume to standard post-Internet age English:

Watched "Gabelstaplerfahrer Klaus" on YouTube

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

I remember zis one time going for an interview in Austria and ze place voz at ze bottom of ze mountain and I voz walking to ze building and ze vind voz sooo strong zat it blew me back to my car and I couldn't make ze interview - crazy huh?

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

The best cheatcode I remember is "CHEATERCHEATERWIMP" it is a perfect description of what you want to do. I believe it was in Decent.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

j0k3r:
That's how I roll... If you don't like my opinion, then don't read it.

But how am I supposed to know what your opinion is before I read it..?

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Kazan:
properly written and optimized OOP code is no slower or faster than properly written and optimized procedural code in the same language.
Bad code [windows] is just bad code.

PS: The core WinAPI is still proceedural, even if microsoft likes hiding it under OOP wrappers (MFC) and "managed code" [virtual machine] encumbered OOP wrappers (.Net) .

The increasing hardware demands of windows have to do with a) Inefficient design b) bug for bug legacy compatibility c) WinSxS [vista harddrive space vampire that also slows program loads.. but not appreciably on my vista machine] d) multimedia bloating apps [web browsers, etc] e) incompetent computer science/engineering education that focuses excessively on 'perfect world' processes and teaches in Java and never teaches on 'real world' processes and optimizations and performance considerations

I know this is just a plane rant but I have to comment on this. :).

Your probably beloved Linux/MacOSX uses C + self written OO wrappers around procedural code, much like Windows. Linux has bloating media apps like web browsers aswell (I'd call them essential but hey everyone's a winner here).

Linux is burdened with the same legacy complexities.

incompetent computer science/engineering education that focuses excessively on 'perfect world' processes and teaches in Java and never teaches on 'real world' processes and optimizations and performance considerations

I have no clue how that has todo with any Operating system, but In general this is a good way to learn people things, first get it done properly then find the bottlenecks (if any) and fix them using special tricks and codes. Remember that about 10% of the code accounts for 90% of the run time. So you only have to adjust those small pieces of code for real world optimizations to get stuff done.

(note: I use Windows and Linux and from my point of view the same 'problems' arrise in both).

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

I've often said, no more than half-jokingly, that the rollout of each generation of PC hardware has to wait for Microsoft to bloat Windows enough to soak up all of the new power.

Severity One · 2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Jeff:
joelkatz:
he volunteered that the towels are there because he and his wife frequently work naked.
I thanked him, left, went home, took a shower
Did you at least stick around long enough to check out his wife? I mean, umm...

Well, he did take a shower, after all.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Fregas:
OOP is so overrated anyway:
http://www.geocities.com/tablizer/oopbad.htm

The author doesn't seem to know the difference between persistent and transient data. It's not like all data is held, forever, as in-memory objects. Problem with anti-anything evangelists is, the number of straw men they build

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Georgem:
Fregas:
OOP is so overrated anyway:
http://www.geocities.com/tablizer/oopbad.htm

The author doesn't seem to know the difference between persistent and transient data. It's not like all data is held, forever, as in-memory objects. Problem with anti-anything evangelists is, the number of straw men they build

Sorry, I of course meant that the author has chosen to ignore the difference between persistent and transient data, in a pre-scient and highly successful attempt to kindly prove my second point.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Is this site really hosted on a server provided by HIV Elocity?

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

FlameBait:
I have no clue how that has todo with any Operating system, but In general this is a good way to learn people things, first get it done properly then find the bottlenecks (if any) and fix them using special tricks and codes. Remember that about 10% of the code accounts for 90% of the run time. So you only have to adjust those small pieces of code for real world optimizations to get stuff done.

That depends, the best performance bonuses come from design not from fiddling with the code. If you can modify the design so various things that involved 10 level deep function calls or other complicated nonsense can be expressed as only 2 method deep calls instead, then the performance will be massively better then just building the 10-level deep solution and hoping (praying, more like) you can bash into 'tolerable' execution speed later. Of course, on the other hand, the profiler with 10% does 90% rule should still be applied to the finished product after you designed it to be fast and discovered it is not quite fast enough.

The problem with mantras like "premature optimization is the root of all evil" is that the meaning gets lost in zealotry. There's a difference between premature optimization and quality engineering -- developers really need to learn what that difference is.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

MadtM:
ObiWayneKenobi:
The sad truth is that all it takes to run a business is to be a good bullshitter and have enough money to keep minor overhead - nothing else even remotely matters like having a good product, paying for good equipment or paying people a decent wage.

Yeah? Try running a restaurant.

McDonalds?

Severity One · 2009-06-24 Reply Admin

FlameBait:
Your probably beloved Linux/MacOSX uses C + self written OO wrappers around procedural code, much like Windows. Linux has bloating media apps like web browsers aswell (I'd call them essential but hey everyone's a winner here).
Linux is burdened with the same legacy complexities.

But who says he's not running BeOS? Ha! Then your entire argument goes out the window.

OK OK OK, so at the last count, approximately twelve people were still using BeOS, but he could be one of them.

Code Dependent · 2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Martin:
In the end, everything worked out. The asshole and my ex-GF got married, he legally adopted her two kids, they got divorced and he got stuck with child support! :-)

Ah! I love a story with a happy ending. :D

Code Dependent · 2009-06-24 Reply Admin

j0k3r:
Code Dependent:
j0k3r:
Frankly, all of these stories suck. The first is just a bad pun. The second one goes nowhere and the grammar makes it almost unreadable. The third one is about a guy who let an arrogant ass walk all over him (Good on ya Drew!).
And here you are on the second page of comments, weighing in weightlessly rather than posting something worth reading.
And here you are on the third page of comments, weighing in weightlessly on my comment rather than posting something worth reading.
That's how I roll... If you don't like my opinion, then don't read it. This is my registered username so feel free to skip my comments next time.

On the contrary, your opinion was a useless rant. My highlighting of fact was a neighborly attempt to help you ease over the hump from shallow, self-absorbed tin man to contributing member of society.

Hang with it, man. Eventually you'll get a clue. We hope.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
Schnapple:
Not my story but my favorite Slashdot comment ever
Contracting Insanity:
There is no Illuminati. There are no runners from the Illuminati. I was never approached by people who wanted to create a secure network for people who were on the run from the Illuminati to communicate with each other over.
Just because you're paranoid, that doesn't mean everybody isn't out to get you.

I am being persecuted by people who call me paranoid.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Gotta watch out for those windy parking lots. Still, I'm sure it counts as an effort to seek employment while collecting pogey (Canada), the dole (UK), what do they call it in the US, and in Europe?

Code Dependent · 2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Bill Donovan:
...pogey (Canada), the dole (UK), what do they call it in the US...?

Officially, welfare. Colloquially, bloodsucking.

kastein · 2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Dlareg:
The best cheatcode I remember is "CHEATERCHEATERWIMP" it is a perfect description of what you want to do. I believe it was in Decent.

I was a huge fan of /IAMNOGOODCHEATER in the old MS-DOS game Stellar 7. Amusingly I actually discovered a level hack on that game while bored (this was before I had internet access, back in 2000 or so)... if you picked out the most powerful missiles and repeatedly shot one of the map obstacles on the first level, it would turn into an end-of-level warp gate that would bring you to the fourth level. The same thing happened on the fourth level, which would bring you to the eighth level... on the twelfth level (iirc), you fought the boss, so you could win the game in something like five minutes. Good luck getting on the high scores chart with almost no enemies destroyed though :)

Addendum (2009-06-24 12:27):

Severity One:
But who says he's not running BeOS? Ha! Then your entire argument goes out the window.
OK OK OK, so at the last count, approximately twelve people were still using BeOS, but he could be one of them.

Don't forget the four Amiga fans (who make more noise than a hundred Linux users)... and is anyone still using that OS Henry Massalin wrote? http://74.125.155.132/search?q=cache:Belh2gmbC4UJ:www.cs.columbia.edu/~library/TR-repository/reports/reports-1991/cucs-005-91.ps.gz+qua+os+massalin&cd=6&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Severity One:
FlameBait:
Your probably beloved Linux/MacOSX uses C + self written OO wrappers around procedural code, much like Windows. Linux has bloating media apps like web browsers aswell (I'd call them essential but hey everyone's a winner here).
Linux is burdened with the same legacy complexities.

But who says he's not running BeOS? Ha! Then your entire argument goes out the window.
OK OK OK, so at the last count, approximately twelve people were still using BeOS, but he could be one of them.

I use Haiku, you insensitive clod!

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Spectre:
"evernwhere"? How can you make a typo like this?

What do mean a typo? Doesn't evernbody use that word?

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

I don't think that has much to do with OOP or the abstraction layers of our programming languages, although I supposed it might. I think its more about the fact that we're asking software to do much more complicated things. Look at windows. Layer upon layer upon layer of features while trying to make everything backwards compatible.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

maybe:
FlameBait:
I have no clue how that has todo with any Operating system, but In general this is a good way to learn people things, first get it done properly then find the bottlenecks (if any) and fix them using special tricks and codes. Remember that about 10% of the code accounts for 90% of the run time. So you only have to adjust those small pieces of code for real world optimizations to get stuff done.

That depends, the best performance bonuses come from design not from fiddling with the code. If you can modify the design so various things that involved 10 level deep function calls or other complicated nonsense can be expressed as only 2 method deep calls instead, then the performance will be massively better then just building the 10-level deep solution and hoping (praying, more like) you can bash into 'tolerable' execution speed later. Of course, on the other hand, the profiler with 10% does 90% rule should still be applied to the finished product after you designed it to be fast and discovered it is not quite fast enough.

The problem with mantras like "premature optimization is the root of all evil" is that the meaning gets lost in zealotry. There's a difference between premature optimization and quality engineering -- developers really need to learn what that difference is.

10 levels deep of function calls is annoying and could impact performance, but it's not a given. Before assuming that the problem is the call stack, measure the code to see what it actually does.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Actually, I was stupid enough to do that. The job actually was pretty cool considering that the boss wasn't around much and the other programmers were cool. Unfortunately a few months later the paychecks ceased to flow.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

You are using the wrong OS, and this is coming from a Windows guy. But I believe in using the right tool for the job and if you are a super fast typer/coder Windows is NOT it. Try DSL-N, which if you have more than 128Mb of RAM(and who doesn't nowadays) will load the entire OS into RAM which makes response times just unreal. I have a 733MHz with 384Mb running DSL that has better response time than a 3Ghz XP box. Just use the right tool for the job: for games and flashy stuff, use Windows. For when you need to get work done yesterday, use DSL-N. The only Windows I have seen with anywhere close to that response time is XP X64, but you have to do as I did and build a box for it as OEMs rarely have 64bit drivers even today. By contrast DSL-N will run on pretty much anything.

2009-06-24 Reply Admin

Tim:
spike:
Who the hell is Tim? You know there is a problem when you have to stop and re-read the damn article multiple times just to follow along. The tim walked in and shat on the floor.

Hello...Here I am

Some call me... Tim?

Captain Oblivious · 2009-06-25 Reply Admin

terrukallan:
Fregas:
OOP is so overrated anyway:
http://www.geocities.com/tablizer/oopbad.htm

An excerpt from that page that caught my eye:

Named parameters can optionally make routines very Smalltalk-like. Some people erroneously think that OOP invented named parameters.
I wonder if the author realizes that Smalltalk was among the first object oriented languages and comes much closer to being purely object oriented than any mainstream language in use today?

That was his point. SmallTalk didn't invent named parameters. That was a Lisp invention that got carried over into the first Lisp object systems (and through there, into SmallTalk)

An object system is just a fancy combinator that knows to do look up in a hierarchy of function definitions. But it is VERY OFTEN not the right combinator to use to solve a problem. So you end up using "patterns" to get around the limitations of the combinator. Ugh. Normalize and combine, for god's sake.

j0k3r · 2009-06-25 Reply Admin

Code Dependent:
j0k3r:
Code Dependent:
j0k3r:
Frankly, all of these stories suck. The first is just a bad pun. The second one goes nowhere and the grammar makes it almost unreadable. The third one is about a guy who let an arrogant ass walk all over him (Good on ya Drew!).
And here you are on the second page of comments, weighing in weightlessly rather than posting something worth reading.
And here you are on the third page of comments, weighing in weightlessly on my comment rather than posting something worth reading.
That's how I roll... If you don't like my opinion, then don't read it. This is my registered username so feel free to skip my comments next time.
On the contrary, your opinion was a useless rant. My highlighting of fact was a neighborly attempt to help you ease over the hump from shallow, self-absorbed tin man to contributing member of society.

Hang with it, man. Eventually you'll get a clue. We hope.

So clever... you are and your ePenis are huge. I can only hope to aspire to be as much of a contributing member as you some day.

I have to say, I am flattered that you care so much about my personal situation though. I'll be waiting with bated breath for your response.

2009-06-25 Reply Admin

Your Name:
The interview started with awkward small talk – they didn’t like sports, they didn’t know what the weather was like, and they had no plans for the upcoming summer months – which lead into a rather long moment of uncomfortable silence.

And that is why he failed. Real developers often don't even know what day of the week it is. Questions like "how are you?" are difficult if not impossible to answer. "All systems nominal" would be perfectly correct, but socially unacceptable.

The weather is always a somewhat dry 68F, sports would be so much easier if both teams would cooperate, and ultimately is a modern substitute for tribal warfare. Cheering for something remotely without having even a remote chance of influence on the process is similar to shouting in elation every time the second hand passes through 5 on a clock. And since every day is exactly the same, there are no summer plans.

Damn, that is one of the best encapsulations of nerds/geeks I've seen in a long time.

2009-06-25 Reply Admin

I was inte4rviewing for a management job, in a field I knew extremely well. Things were going well, until I asked "what would you say are the major strengths of your product?"

There was a long pause, and then the CEO said "well, we mostly sell in the north-east". Before I could bite my tongue, out came "What? That's the only strength? That your customers are from around here?"

After a very long silence, the interview never seemed to get back on track.

Atom

2009-06-26 Reply Admin

Matt:
ObiWayneKenobi:
The sad truth is that all it takes to run a business is to be a good bullshitter and have enough money to keep minor overhead - nothing else even remotely matters like having a good product, paying for good equipment or paying people a decent wage.
Seriously, you have no idea the number of small-time idiots I've seen that shouldn't stay in business yet do, and manage to turn a hefty profit despite cutting all kinds of corners and not even understanding WTF their business is.

I find it very ironic that scam artists stay in business and are successful while honest people routinely end up desperate for income.

You sir live in an alternate reality. Scummy businesses don't last very long. Ff they do last, they certainly don't thrive. And it DOES take a lot of hard work to build up a successful business.

There are always exceptions. They don't disprove the rule.

My question is, have you ever started a business of your own? You sound like an arm-chair quarterback.

I would say it is 2/3 decent hard working and then there is 1/3 that are able to bullshit their way into staying in business.

The bullshiters are sometimes able to stay in business because they have good people skills and can really sell themselves or their friends help them stay in business. I used to work for a state dept and the lady in charge gave $$$ money to her no talent consulant marketing friend.

Matt, I'm curious to know how many businesses you have ran and if they were successful or not.

2009-06-27 Reply Admin

I was working for a large department store, in it's credit department, while I was at tech learning electronics engineering. I'd noticed that a certain group of people never seemed to leave the luchroom, and always had a cigarette and cup of coffee with them. They all looked stressed out all the time, and eventually I found out why. I was having lunch at the same table as 2 of them one day when I had a look at what they were reading.It was COBOL, and bought back memories of when I was growing up and spent a couple of years playing around with COBOL to keep me amused(don't ask). I innocently asked "is that COBOL?" and the stressed out codemonkey looked at me and said "yes it is! do you know COBOL?"... I looked at the bloodshot owl eyes, crows feet, hunched shoulders, and the wild eyes of someone in over their head and said "sorry, not enough to be useful to you". Turned out that the CIO had gone to the US and bought some software, sight unseen, for the company 'frame, and it turned out to be for a completely different type of credit system, and had to be re-written from the ground up.Apparently the software had cost a great deal of money, so they couldn't just can it(lest the CIO look like a complete twat), it had to be "optimised" until it did the desired task. They had 3 programmers trying to do a COBOL rewrite in a time frame that would have been nigh on impossible for 10, and they looked like hell.Turns out they couldn't get any more coders because most people took one look at it and said "no f**king way!" and then headed for the door. Never in my professional life have I been so happy to have turned down extra work.

2009-06-27 Reply Admin

Somehow the Oops story made me think of IT Factory. Of course I don't know nearly enough about IT Factory to know if the description does match. And even if it did, there could be more than one company like that.

2009-06-30 Reply Admin

j0k3r:
Code Dependent:
j0k3r:
Code Dependent:
j0k3r:
Frankly, all of these stories suck. The first is just a bad pun. The second one goes nowhere and the grammar makes it almost unreadable. The third one is about a guy who let an arrogant ass walk all over him (Good on ya Drew!).
And here you are on the second page of comments, weighing in weightlessly rather than posting something worth reading.
And here you are on the third page of comments, weighing in weightlessly on my comment rather than posting something worth reading.
That's how I roll... If you don't like my opinion, then don't read it. This is my registered username so feel free to skip my comments next time.
On the contrary, your opinion was a useless rant. My highlighting of fact was a neighborly attempt to help you ease over the hump from shallow, self-absorbed tin man to contributing member of society.

Hang with it, man. Eventually you'll get a clue. We hope.
So clever... you are and your ePenis are huge. I can only hope to aspire to be as much of a contributing member as you some day.

I have to say, I am flattered that you care so much about my personal situation though. I'll be waiting with bated breath for your response.

savar · 2009-07-03 Reply Admin

Fregas:
OOP is so overrated anyway:
http://www.geocities.com/tablizer/oopbad.htm

It's hilarious that I separately discovered that site on my own this week. I guess the anti-OOP movement is starting to take hold. TOP FTW.

The Winds of Recession, A Doomed Interivew, and Oops!

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