• Dirtbag (unregistered)

    Yes, I really want to...

  • ping floyd (unregistered) in reply to Dirtbag

    Mike is "The Alcoholic?"

  • Gare.Chicago (unregistered)

    Do you really want to... be The First?

  • iK the Alcoholic (unregistered)

    God, I don't even read this site and I can already tell there's one repeat from last week.

    Captcha: vulputate - Latin for dismembering a fox.

  • The Great and Powerful Trixie (unregistered)

    The Great and Powerful Trixie demands to know why her title is missing!

  • Ken (unregistered)

    Stay away from short sales - you'll lose your shirt.

  • Rodnas (unregistered)

    /******************************************************

    • <!--- DO NOT ALTER ANYTHING BELOW THIS COMMENT ---> *

    ******************************************************/

  • (cs)

    I think that thesharperedge.co.uk page is playing some joke because this also happens in the prefix field:

    <select id="prefix" name="prefix" title="Prefix" > <option value="" selected="selected"></option> <option value="Mr.">Mr.</option> <option value="Mrs.">Mrs.</option> <option value="Miss">Miss</option> <option value="Ms.">Ms.</option> <option value="Master">Master</option> <option value="Dr.">Dr.</option> <option value="Lord">Lord</option> <option value="Lady">Lady</option> <option value="c/o">c/o</option> <option value="Sister">Sister</option> <option value="Sir">Sir</option> <option value="Madam">Madam</option> <option value="Sgt.">Sgt.</option> <option value="Pvt.">Pvt.</option> <option value="Cpl">Cpl</option> <option value="Gen.">Gen.</option> <option value="W/Cmdr">W/Cmdr</option> <option value="G/Cpt">G/Cpt</option> <option value="Lord Protector">Lord Protector</option> <option value="Agent">Agent</option> <option value="Detective">Detective</option> <option value="Prisoner #666">Prisoner #666</option> <option value="H.R.H.">H.R.H.</option> </select>
  • concerned citizen (unregistered)

    TRWTF is a $21k loan at 10%! Remind me not to use Chase for loans...

  • concerned citizen (unregistered) in reply to concerned citizen

    sorry...Citi

  • (cs)
    DirectLoans:
    <gibberish>
    As someone who has worked for financial institutions for more than two decades...

    Translation:

    We will take your money and do as we please with it. The same folks who created that agreement text are the ones who will also be managing your money, so there's a slight chance you may get it back some day.

    For this privilege, you owe us your trust, gratitude, first born and left testicle (females: s/testacle/breast/).

  • I forget (unregistered)

    I just love those inventory systems that assume their data is always 100% perfect. I've seen cashiers often do things like scan off a single item twice, not scan the next item even though it is different, and then not bother to correct it because the items happen to be the same price.

  • (cs) in reply to concerned citizen
    concerned citizen:
    sorry...Citi
    I've worked for both of them, and they are equally screwed up internally, so either way, really.
  • Nagesh (unregistered)

    My hunch is that the story behind the illegible legalese involves bad handwriting and an OCR program pushed way behind its design limits. Perhaps even a wooden table or two.

  • (cs) in reply to ubersoldat
    ubersoldat:
    I think that thesharperedge.co.uk page is playing some joke because this also happens in the prefix field: <select id="prefix" name="prefix" title="Prefix" > <option value="" selected="selected"></option> <option value="Mr.">Mr.</option> <option value="Mrs.">Mrs.</option> <option value="Miss">Miss</option> <option value="Ms.">Ms.</option> <option value="Master">Master</option> <option value="Dr.">Dr.</option> <option value="Lord">Lord</option> <option value="Lady">Lady</option> <option value="c/o">c/o</option> <option value="Sister">Sister</option> <option value="Sir">Sir</option> <option value="Madam">Madam</option> <option value="Sgt.">Sgt.</option> <option value="Pvt.">Pvt.</option> <option value="Cpl">Cpl</option> <option value="Gen.">Gen.</option> <option value="W/Cmdr">W/Cmdr</option> <option value="G/Cpt">G/Cpt</option> <option value="Lord Protector">Lord Protector</option> <option value="Agent">Agent</option> <option value="Detective">Detective</option> <option value="Prisoner #666">Prisoner #666</option> <option value="H.R.H.">H.R.H.</option> </select>
    Well, at the risk of winning the CaptainObvious Badge, clearly they add everyone's "other" entry to their dbase. Why they don't purge the dbase is another question.
  • mag (unregistered)

    The error message was too long for the message box..

    It should've read "Do you really want to ... hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?"

  • (cs)

    What's the WTF in the shirt one? When a screenshot has a dozen words it's not usually necessary to highlight anything, but in an image that busy the relevant error doesn't jump out.

  • That Guy (unregistered) in reply to pjt33

    The red message about only have -1 available.

  • (cs)

    TRWTF is that "Pay extra and apply toward your next payment due". Yeah, I'm paying 10% over some money that I own you, but I'm just going to lend you some money, interest free.

    It should be a crime just to display that option, somebody could be mislead into marking it.

  • Nagesh (unregistered) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    concerned citizen:
    sorry...Citi
    I've worked for both of them, and they are equally screwed up internally, so either way, really.

    Ain't a bank better than Citigroup for only Indian. Many elderly are massaging payments from childrans with H1-B in US. Also, conversion from USD to Rupee is favourable and no exchanging fees.

  • (cs) in reply to That Guy
    That Guy:
    The red message about only have -1 available.

    Too bad it is a discounted price. I'd prefer to buy -1 at it at full price.

  • java.lang.Chris; (unregistered)

    If you check the credits for thesharperedge.co.uk, the site was designed by a Nerox.co.uk, whose website is currently the default page for Plesk.

    (Plesk is a hideous management console for people who don't know how to administer a Linux server).

  • Spivonious (unregistered) in reply to cellocgw
    cellocgw:
    ubersoldat:
    I think that thesharperedge.co.uk page is playing some joke because this also happens in the prefix field: <select id="prefix" name="prefix" title="Prefix" > <option value="" selected="selected"></option> <option value="Mr.">Mr.</option> <option value="Mrs.">Mrs.</option> <option value="Miss">Miss</option> <option value="Ms.">Ms.</option> <option value="Master">Master</option> <option value="Dr.">Dr.</option> <option value="Lord">Lord</option> <option value="Lady">Lady</option> <option value="c/o">c/o</option> <option value="Sister">Sister</option> <option value="Sir">Sir</option> <option value="Madam">Madam</option> <option value="Sgt.">Sgt.</option> <option value="Pvt.">Pvt.</option> <option value="Cpl">Cpl</option> <option value="Gen.">Gen.</option> <option value="W/Cmdr">W/Cmdr</option> <option value="G/Cpt">G/Cpt</option> <option value="Lord Protector">Lord Protector</option> <option value="Agent">Agent</option> <option value="Detective">Detective</option> <option value="Prisoner #666">Prisoner #666</option> <option value="H.R.H.">H.R.H.</option> </select>
    Well, at the risk of winning the CaptainObvious Badge, clearly they add everyone's "other" entry to their dbase. Why they don't purge the dbase is another question.

    There is no "other" option. Someone was having fun the day they loaded in the possible values.

  • Jeff (unregistered) in reply to Rodnas
    Rodnas:
    /****************************************************** * <!--- DO NOT ALTER ANYTHING BELOW THIS COMMENT ---> * ******************************************************/
    I beg indulgence, kind sir, to violate your rule merely to mention that you win the post of the day.
  • Fred (unregistered) in reply to I forget
    I forget:
    I just love those inventory systems that assume their data is always 100% perfect. I've seen cashiers often do things like scan off a single item twice, not scan the next item even though it is different, and then not bother to correct it because the items happen to be the same price.
    That's why I always have a "Quantity On Hand" column plus a "QOH Error" column. Taken together, you can calculate the true quantity.
  • Ron (unregistered) in reply to java.lang.Chris;
    java.lang.Chris;:
    (Plesk is a hideous management console for people who don't know how to administer a Linux server).
    People who don't know how to administer a Linux server but get one anyway must be subjected to as much hideous abuse as possible. You can help! Go to every Linux forum and post the following solution:

    sudo rm -rf / &

  • Chronomium (unregistered) in reply to That Guy
    That Guy:
    The red message about only have -1 available.
    There's also the minor-but-still-humerous cart that has "0 Item". Clearly "amt < 2" is easier to code than "amt == 1".
  • Jack (unregistered) in reply to Mcoder
    Mcoder:
    That Guy:
    The red message about only have -1 available.

    Too bad it is a discounted price. I'd prefer to buy -1 at it at full price.

    But do you actually have one of those shirts to sell them?

  • Jack (unregistered) in reply to Jeff
    Jeff:
    Rodnas:
    /****************************************************** * <!--- DO NOT ALTER ANYTHING BELOW THIS COMMENT ---> * ******************************************************/
    I beg indulgence, Lord Protector, to violate your rule merely to mention that you win the post of the day.
    I think this is what you meant.
  • Nagesh (unregistered) in reply to Chronomium
    Chronomium:
    Clearly "amt < 2" is easier to code than "amt == 1".
    TRWTF is language where word is spelled different depending on whether amt == 1 == true or !false.
  • Jack (unregistered) in reply to Mcoder
    Mcoder:
    TRWTF is that "Pay extra and apply toward your next payment due". Yeah, I'm paying 10% over some money that I own you, but I'm just going to lend you some money, interest free.

    It should be a crime just to display that option, somebody could be mislead into marking it.

    Some people don't care.

    It's like the people who give the government a free loan by specifying large tax witholdings from their paychecks, because they like to get that big refund check later on.

  • Nagesh (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh

    Forgot to mention the best part, if you have problem, get to speak to real Indian, not American call center.

  • Nagesh (unregistered)

    Clearly answer to "ERROR" security question is "File Not Found".

  • (cs)

    The TV thing reminds me of some years ago, when a local TV station where I live would sometimes show nothing but a Windows 2000 (or so) desktop with some icons, a task bar, and … an alert window saying VLC had crashed.

    This only happened during weekends and would last until Monday morning — I suppose nobody was around the office to restart the what-passed-for-shows on that channel, and couldn't be bothered to go there either when (if?) they discovered the problem.

  • Prisoner #666 John (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    Ain't a bank better than Citigroup for only Indian. Many elderly are massaging payments from childrans with H1-B in US. Also, conversion from USD to Rupee is favourable and no exchanging fees.

    You try an awful lot harder than previous Nageshs and post far more frequently, but honestly, you're not doing a great job of it.

  • Andrew (unregistered)

    The Oracle UI toolkit is so hideous that I really want to ...

  • (cs)

    You know, the real WTF on the Oracle 11g Client installer popup message is, that's not the most annoying and useless message that installer returns.

  • talentless_newbie (too lazy to log in) (unregistered) in reply to Dirtbag
    Dirtbag:
    Yes, I really want to...
    Other answers that came to mind: "I'm a little nervous; I've never done this before..." "Yes, but I hope your parents don't catch us." "I think we're emotionally ready, right...?"

    Also, I couldn't help but mentally append "...hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?"

  • immitto (unregistered)

    Step 1: Submit Order for -1000000000 shirts. Step 2: ??? (maybe hire some offshore workers to produce said shirts at USD$0.000000001/shirt?) Step 3: PROFIT!

  • (cs) in reply to I forget
    I forget:
    I just love those inventory systems that assume their data is always 100% perfect. I've seen cashiers often do things like scan off a single item twice, not scan the next item even though it is different, and then not bother to correct it because the items happen to be the same price.
    A colleague asked me to get her a bottle of some fizzy drink once when I was in the supermarket next door. They didn't have single bottles, but they had 6-packs, so I broke one of the 6-packs open and took one of them to the checkout. The kerfuffle that caused occasioned the general manager of the store to emerge from his office to remonstrate with me: "If we split up multipacks to sell the stuff separately," he told me, "it causes our automatic inventory systems to fail." My reply was: "The fact that you haven't got single bottles of this fizzy drink on your shelves proves that your inventory system has already failed." He had no answer to that.
  • Jack (unregistered) in reply to Matt Westwood
    Matt Westwood:
    A colleague asked me to get her a bottle of some fizzy drink once when I was in the supermarket next door. They didn't have single bottles, but they had 6-packs, so I broke one of the 6-packs open and took one of them to the checkout. The kerfuffle that caused occasioned the general manager of the store to emerge from his office to remonstrate with me: "If we split up multipacks to sell the stuff separately," he told me, "it causes our automatic inventory systems to fail." My reply was: "The fact that you haven't got single bottles of this fizzy drink on your shelves proves that your inventory system has already failed." He had no answer to that.
    Manager: If we sell you just one bottle, it screws up our inventory system. Please understand. Matt: Too late, I already screwed you by ripping open merchandise I haven't paid for. Just give me this one bottle I want. Manager: ...

    I can see why he was speechless.

  • (cs) in reply to snoofle
    snoofle:
    DirectLoans:
    <gibberish>
    As someone who has worked for financial institutions for more than two decades...

    Translation:

    We will take your money and do as we please with it. The same folks who created that agreement text are the ones who will also be managing your money, so there's a slight chance you may get it back some day.

    For this privilege, you owe us your trust, gratitude, first born and left testicle (females: s/testacle/breast/).

    But DirectLoans are lenders, not an investment firm.

  • Unicorn #8157 (unregistered) in reply to Prisoner #666 John
    Prisoner #666 John:
    You try an awful lot harder than previous Nageshs and post far more frequently, but honestly, you're not doing a great job of it.
    So he's doing it right?
  • Eugene (unregistered)

    In case anyone missed this, the prefix "H.R.H." stands for "His/Her Royal Highness" (the standard form of address for British princes and princesses). Unfortunately, the prefix H.M. is missing from the list.

    In the suffix list, all abbreviations are valid and serious (for example, D.O. is Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine and M.L.A. is Master of Liberal Arts).

  • Leo (unregistered)

    "The Great" and "The Terrible" are all well and good, but I want "The Longshanks", like King Edward.

  • (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    snoofle:
    DirectLoans:
    <gibberish>
    As someone who has worked for financial institutions for more than two decades...

    Translation:

    We will take your money and do as we please with it. The same folks who created that agreement text are the ones who will also be managing your money, so there's a slight chance you may get it back some day.

    For this privilege, you owe us your trust, gratitude, first born and left testicle (females: s/testacle/breast/).

    But DirectLoans are lenders, not an investment firm.
    True enough, but it's prettry much the same thing in reverse.

    We'll lend you some money, but you owe us a whole lot more, and if you even blink in the wrong way, you'll owe us important body parts too!

  • qbolec (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    My hunch is that the story behind the illegible legalese involves bad handwriting and an OCR program pushed way behind its design limits. Perhaps even a wooden table or two.

    That was my tought exactly. The fact that it looks like jpg with text which was OCRed from another JPG suggests "two photo cameras, one wooden table" setup.

  • (cs) in reply to Leo
    Leo:
    "The Great" and "The Terrible" are all well and good, but I want "The Longshanks", like King Edward.
    And what about "The not so Brave as Sir Lancelot"?
  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to Ken

    And stay away from shirt sales - you'll lose your shorts.

  • sharth (unregistered) in reply to snoofle

    Actually, the direct loans situation is a bit simpler than that. The PDF only opens in adobe reader. If you open it in Preview on the mac, it will look like that.

Leave a comment on “Unscheduled Programming”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article