Gastronome Carl hungrily drools "I haven't measured the speed of a snail but it's gotta be close. "

His Name Is BRIAN

 

While Dan B. rats out Petco's dwindling discount

I Had a Pet Snail Named Oscar

 

And William Blair wonders "Does this mean I'm actually UP 2%? "

But When He Laid Eggs I Changed His Name To Robin

 

Comics Fan Ken Mitchell seeks caped cave-cleaning customer support but "can't find NaN-aN-aN on my calendar!"

All for a crumby Batman gag

 

 

Yet at the end of the day, amateur meteorologist Esther lets us know "I noticed that summer will start early this year" because Brian needed a head start with Carl's dinner, Gary!

Remember kids, punctuation saves lives

 

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