SQL Server Information Services is Microsoft's ETL tool. It provides a drag-and-drop interface for describing data flows from sources to sinks, complete with transformations and all sorts of other operations, and is useful for migrating data between databases, linking legacy mainframes into modern databases, or doing what most people seem to need: migrating data into Excel spreadsheets.

It's essentially a full-fledged scripting environment, with a focus on data-oriented operations. The various nodes you can drag-and-drop in are database connections, queries, transformations, file system operations, calls to stored procedures, and so on. It even lets you run .NET code inside of SSIS.

Carol sends us today's nasty bit of code. It does the thing you should never do: serializes by string munging.

public string ToJSON()
{
    double unixTimestamp = ConvertToMillisecondsSinceEpoch(time);
    string JSONString = "{\"type\":\"" + type + "\",\"data\":{";
    foreach (string key in dataDict.Keys)
    {
        string value = dataDict[key].ToString();

        string valueJSONString;
        double valueNumber;
        bool valueBool;

        if (value.Length > 2 && value[0].Equals('(') && value[value.Length - 1].Equals(')')) //tuples
        {
            char[] charArray = value.ToCharArray();
            charArray[0] = '[';
            charArray[charArray.Length - 1] = ']';
            if (charArray[charArray.Length - 2].Equals(','))
                charArray[charArray.Length - 2] = ' ';
            valueJSONString = new string(charArray);
        }
        else if ((value.Length > 1 && value[0].Equals('{') && value[value.Length - 1].Equals('}')) ||
                    (double.TryParse(value, out valueNumber))) //embedded json or numbers
        {
            valueJSONString = value;
        }
        else if (bool.TryParse(value, out valueBool)) //bools
        {
            valueJSONString = value.ToLower();
        }
        else //everything else is a string
        {
            valueJSONString = "\"" + value + "\"";
        }
        JSONString = JSONString + "\"" + key + "\":" + valueJSONString + ",";
    }
    if (dataDict.Count > 0) JSONString = JSONString.Substring(0, JSONString.Length - 1);
    JSONString = JSONString + "},\"time\":" + unixTimestamp.ToString() + "}";
    return JSONString;
}

In the ancient times of the late 90s, Bert worked for a software solutions company. It was the kind of company that other companies hired to do software for them, releasing custom applications for each client. Well, "each" client implies more than one client, but in this company's case, they only had one reliable client.

One day, the client said, "Hey, we have an application we built to handle scheduling helpdesk workers. Can you take a look at it and fix some problems we've got?" Bert's employer said, "Sure, no problem."