• (cs)

    In before gun nuts asserting "castle doctrine" would give them the right to shoot Steve dead through the front door with one of the many shotguns laying around their houses.

  • shane (unregistered)

    I think I interviewed with Steve and Sally in the late 90's.

    They offered me a job at a lower salary.

    I never responded...

  • (cs)

    Yea, if that happened with me and Steve did make it through the front door the ambulance would be taking him away and not the cops. Dont bring fists to a gun fight.

    It appears that Steve needs to go work for a corporation and be forced to go to some required Workplace Violence training.

  • (cs)

    The "After all I did for you?!" thing and husband/wife almost made me think this was one of my horror stories heavily anonymized, but my crazy ex-boss never had a fistfight with someone while I was there. And they didn't do work for schools, they sold garbage to the government and had many scam businesses like non-profits, spamming companies and medical USB sticks.

    Luckily he never showed up at my place of residence screaming or I would have shot him and claimed he came at me with a knife.

  • (cs)

    I'm not sure I get what the WTF is. Quitting your job because the boss's wife claims you're loyal?

  • (cs)

    After all I've done for you, you expect me to leave a COMMENT?!?

  • WC (unregistered)

    I applied once at a company run by a guy who started accusing me of trying to destroy his company when I said I couldn't sign a contract that put full liability on me, the programmer. I told him the insurance to cover such liability would cost more than he was paying, and it wouldn't work.

    I certainly thought that was reasonable, but after a few minutes of him ranting that I was trying to destroy his company, I simply apologized and left.

    About an hour later, I returned the CD with their source code he had lent me to check out... Without an NDA. I can't imagine why he though that was a good idea, but got so upset that I wouldn't take responsibility for the entire project on my own.

  • F (unregistered) in reply to Anketam
    Anketam:
    ...

    It appears that Steve needs to go work for a corporation and be forced to go to some required Workplace Violence training.

    Seems to me he's pretty good at it already. He's had enough practice.

  • Ram ED (unregistered) in reply to Pim

    He wasn't loyal enough to boss's wife.

  • jc (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi

    and what would you claim happened to the knife ?

  • (cs)

    I'd pay good money to watch a gym rat fight a heavyset repressed geek. Although, due to lack of cardio on the part of both parties, I wouldn't expect it to last longer than 45 seconds. I give slight advantage to the geek, because he would be the first to resort to using a weapon of opportunity.

  • Ave (unregistered)

    Why is everybody implying there was a knife in the story?

    If one should receive a visit from his boss, one should automatically assume he would be carrying a knife?

    Is it something too American and I don't get it?

  • (cs) in reply to Rootbeer
    Rootbeer:
    In before gun nuts asserting "castle doctrine" would give them the right to shoot Steve dead through the front door with one of the many shotguns laying around their houses.

    [confused] I thought the castle doctrine gives you the right to move your king into a more protected position, provided neither the king nor the involved rook have moved and none of the involved squares can be attacked by the enemy? [/confused]

  • (cs) in reply to jc
    jc:
    and what would you claim happened to the knife ?
    And this is why you should have garden gnomes, so that when you shoot him you can claim he was threatening to throw a garden gnome at you.
  • (cs)
    Only a few short weeks earlier, the new job had seemed pretty nice.
    Most jobs would seem pretty nice with shorter weeks.
  • eric76 (unregistered)

    I had a boss once who called me up one night and told me him and his wife were having a fight and he needed a place to stay.

    He ended up staying at my house for a couple of weeks while they worked things out.

  • (cs)
    ...Paul had the uber-nerd's determination to not take any crap and a significant mass advantage.
    People often underestimate that crazy retard strength nerds can get when they're all worked up.
  • (cs) in reply to Ave
    Ave:
    Why is everybody implying there was a knife in the story?

    If one should receive a visit from his boss, one should automatically assume he would be carrying a knife?

    Is it something too American and I don't get it?

    In most U.S. states, it's only legal to kill an intruder if they were attacking you. So if somebody breaks in to your house, and you kill them, you "put a knife in their hand" so that you can claim self defense. It's an old running (almost inside) joke for us Americans.

  • (cs) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    The "After all I did for you?!" thing and husband/wife almost made me think this was one of my horror stories heavily anonymized, but my crazy ex-boss never had a fistfight with someone while I was there. And they didn't do work for schools, they sold garbage to the government and had many scam businesses like non-profits, spamming companies and medical USB sticks.

    Luckily he never showed up at my place of residence screaming or I would have shot him and claimed he came at me with a knife.

    Recent legal developments in the UK suggest that guns are superfluous there. Just calmly fetch a carving knife from the kitchen and use that. Makes a mess on the carpet (because you've got to allow him inside before it's legal to murder him, or you can't claim it's self-defence) but it doesn't make a nasty bang. At least, not unless his wife's a really nasty bang.

  • Kudzu Kid (unregistered) in reply to jc

    Every cop I know (and I know more than one...) has a "throw down" weapon. Ditto every home owner worth a sh*t. You know... that knife in the kitchen drawer that looks bad ass but you don't use much? Yeah, that one... That would end up in the hand of / or near / the intruder when the cops arrive.

  • (cs)

    These types of people do exist, as I worked for a husband-and-wife-run company back in the early nineties. The company was a bit larger (15 employees), and it was a small residential construction company. The boss would regularly scream profanities at anyone and everyone, and occasionally it did come to fistecuffs (no knives that I knew of).

    In this case, however, the wife was the calm level-headed one, and her presence was the only reason why the company stayed in business.

    I lasted six months and it was hands-down the worst job I ever had.

  • (cs) in reply to Rootbeer
    Rootbeer:
    In before gun nuts asserting "castle doctrine" would give them the right to shoot Steve dead through the front door with one of the many shotguns laying around their houses.
    Ridiculous. My front door is far too sturdy. I'd use the remote turret.
  • (cs) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:

    Luckily he never showed up at my place of residence screaming or I would have shot him and claimed he came at me with a knife.

    Don't give fools like RootBeer ammunition... if you'll excuse the pun.

  • (cs)

    ITT on TDWTF: ITGs, LOL.

  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to jc

    Why, you toss the knife to him and when he catches it, you shoot him.

  • (cs)

    Reminds me of the worst job I ever had: with Healthmaster of Walled Lake, Mich., supervised by Mussolini's evil twin testicle, Bret McDonald.

  • (cs)

    "schreeched"

    Seriously?

  • (cs) in reply to Mike
    Mike:
    Why, you toss the knife to him and when he catches it, you shoot him.
    Hopefully he can catch.

    "So he came at you with a knife?" Yes, officer. scribble scribble

    "...stuck in his thigh?" Err, yes?... scribble scribble

    "...just like last time?" Just like last time. scribble pause ...and, um, the time before that too. scribble scribble

    "...and is this one a Jehovah's witness or a door-to-door salesman?" Oh, uh, no, that one's my boss. "Your boss?" Uh, yessir. "I see..." scribble scribble

  • (cs)

    Small businesses run by nutcases/cokeheads/nutcase cokeheads always make for great stories (though it usually takes about 15 years of hindsight for it to be funny).

    Was there any clue as to what Steve and Paul actually came to blows about? Paging Chuck, if you're out there, clue us in!

  • (cs) in reply to dohpaz42
    dohpaz42:
    Ave:
    Why is everybody implying there was a knife in the story?

    If one should receive a visit from his boss, one should automatically assume he would be carrying a knife?

    Is it something too American and I don't get it?

    In most U.S. states, it's only legal to kill an intruder if they were attacking you. So if somebody breaks in to your house, and you kill them, you "put a knife in their hand" so that you can claim self defense. It's an old running (almost inside) joke for us Americans.

    It doesn't even have to be a knife. If it's dark just something that could be mistaken for a knife or some kind of weapon. Had a cop actually tell me that trick once.

  • (cs) in reply to Justice
    Justice:
    Was there any clue as to what Steve and Paul actually came to blows about?
    It was probably about whether or not to use curly braces on single line statements.
  • Hater (unregistered) in reply to boog
    boog:
    Hopefully he can catch.

    You're still here boy? Not smart. Oh wait, it's you, how you can be smart.

  • (cs) in reply to Hater
    Hater:
    boog:
    Hopefully he can catch.

    You're still here boy?

    Who're you again?

  • (cs) in reply to boog
    boog:
    Justice:
    Was there any clue as to what Steve and Paul actually came to blows about?
    It was probably about whether or not to use curly braces on single line statements.

    Sirrah, everyone knows you use them all the time.

  • Lord Snooty McPosh (unregistered) in reply to QJo

    Actually, if you calmly fetch a knife, you'll may well be charged. British courts have held that it's not self defense if you have time to go get a weapon. There was some talk of changing that, but I do not know the final outcome: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13957587.

  • (cs) in reply to Justice
    Justice:
    Small businesses run by nutcases/cokeheads/nutcase cokeheads always make for great stories (though it usually takes about 15 years of hindsight for it to be funny).

    Was there any clue as to what Steve and Paul actually came to blows about? Paging Chuck, if you're out there, clue us in!

    I assumed Paul put in his two weeks' notice.

  • (cs) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    dohpaz42:
    In most U.S. states, it's only legal to kill an intruder if they were attacking you. So if somebody breaks in to your house, and you kill them, you "put a knife in their hand" so that you can claim self defense. It's an old running (almost inside) joke for us Americans.
    It doesn't even have to be a knife. If it's dark just something that could be mistaken for a knife or some kind of weapon. Had a cop actually tell me that trick once.
    Like a garden ornament?

    Now if this isn't a great excuse to have a gun-shaped garden gnome in your garden, I don't know what is.

  • Bronie (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    It doesn't even have to be a knife. If it's dark just something that could be mistaken for a knife or some kind of weapon. Had a cop actually tell me that trick once.

    Haha of course cop will tell you that. After all, they need criminals to catch. And if they don't have, they can teach you how to became one.

  • Nederlander (unregistered) in reply to Kudzu Kid
    Kudzu Kid:
    Every cop I know (and I know more than one...) has a "throw down" weapon. Ditto every home owner worth a sh*t. You know... that knife in the kitchen drawer that looks bad ass but you don't use much? Yeah, that one... That would end up in the hand of / or near / the intruder when the cops arrive.

    Wow... Odd stuff. I'm Dutch, but it's not quite common to have weapons lying around your house at all. Sure. there probably is a knife somewhere in the kitchen (most likely inside the dishwasher or some drawers between the forks and the spoons.)

  • Patrick (unregistered) in reply to mott555
    mott555:
    Justice:
    Small businesses run by nutcases/cokeheads/nutcase cokeheads always make for great stories (though it usually takes about 15 years of hindsight for it to be funny).

    Was there any clue as to what Steve and Paul actually came to blows about? Paging Chuck, if you're out there, clue us in!

    I assumed Paul put in his two weeks' notice.

    Quitting? You're quitting like a quitter? I have no room for quitters on my team! You're fired!

  • Patrick (unregistered) in reply to Nederlander
    Nederlander:
    Kudzu Kid:
    Every cop I know (and I know more than one...) has a "throw down" weapon. Ditto every home owner worth a sh*t. You know... that knife in the kitchen drawer that looks bad ass but you don't use much? Yeah, that one... That would end up in the hand of / or near / the intruder when the cops arrive.

    Wow... Odd stuff. I'm Dutch, but it's not quite common to have weapons lying around your house at all. Sure. there probably is a knife somewhere in the kitchen (most likely inside the dishwasher or some drawers between the forks and the spoons.)

    Aha, but leaving sports equipment by the door is perfectly fine. And last I checked, both Archery and Baseball are valid sports.

  • (cs) in reply to Lord Snooty McPosh
    Lord Snooty McPosh:
    Actually, if you calmly fetch a knife, you'll may well be charged. British courts have held that it's not self defense if you have time to go get a weapon. There was some talk of changing that, but I do not know the final outcome: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13957587.

    Your word against his. "I happened to be in the kitchen, cutting up some steak ready to put it in the freezer for next week's barbecue, and suddenly I heard this crash ..."

    But of course his word's not going to be up to much, he's unfortunately turned up his toes.

  • Zune-Tran (unregistered) in reply to eric76
    eric76:
    I had a boss once who called me up one night and told me him and his wife were having a fight and he needed a place to stay.

    He ended up staying at my house for a couple of weeks while they worked things out.

    ...then his wife moved in with me, too. Then things got interesting.

    Their two sweet, little heads resting on my shoulders...

  • (cs) in reply to Patrick
    Patrick:
    Nederlander:
    Kudzu Kid:
    Every cop I know (and I know more than one...) has a "throw down" weapon. Ditto every home owner worth a sh*t. You know... that knife in the kitchen drawer that looks bad ass but you don't use much? Yeah, that one... That would end up in the hand of / or near / the intruder when the cops arrive.

    Wow... Odd stuff. I'm Dutch, but it's not quite common to have weapons lying around your house at all. Sure. there probably is a knife somewhere in the kitchen (most likely inside the dishwasher or some drawers between the forks and the spoons.)

    Aha, but leaving sports equipment by the door is perfectly fine. And last I checked, both Archery and Baseball are valid sports.

    I have some tiddlywinks in a box on the table by the front door - useful when I need to step in at short notice at the local winks club. Those can be quite lethal too if you file the edges down. And you don't want to be nearby when I'm aggrieved and in possession of a full set of tiddlywinks.

  • (cs) in reply to Zune-Tran
    Zune-Tran:
    eric76:
    I had a boss once who called me up one night and told me him and his wife were having a fight and he needed a place to stay.

    He ended up staying at my house for a couple of weeks while they worked things out.

    ...then his wife moved in with me, too. Then things got interesting.

    Their two sweet, little heads resting on my shoulders...

    Symmetrical puncture wounds. There's a tale out of Twilight for you.

  • (cs) in reply to trtrwtf
    trtrwtf:
    Rootbeer:
    In before gun nuts asserting "castle doctrine" would give them the right to shoot Steve dead through the front door with one of the many shotguns laying around their houses.

    [confused] I thought the castle doctrine gives you the right to move your king into a more protected position, provided neither the king nor the involved rook have moved and none of the involved squares can be attacked by the enemy? [/confused]

    Funny, I would've assumed the Castle doctrine would state that if you don't know the answer to something, you are required to instead make a snarky, wisecracking pop-culture reference. Or perhaps "find an attractive, smart female detective and hang out with her as much as possible, but don't tell her you like her, cause that would make things too easy."

  • (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    I'd pay good money to watch a gym rat fight a heavyset repressed geek. Although, due to lack of cardio on the part of both parties, I wouldn't expect it to last longer than 45 seconds. I give slight advantage to the geek, because he would be the first to resort to using a weapon of opportunity.
    And biting...
  • Grim Fandango (unregistered)

    Yawn! at the macho posturing and "I would shoot him with my shotgun uzi grenade launching Machine gun" comments.

  • (cs) in reply to Grim Fandango
    Grim Fandango:
    Yawn! at the macho posturing and "I would shoot him with my shotgun uzi grenade launching Machine gun" comments.

    Bah! I'd attack him with my police, which I would skilfully wield by means of the 911 on my telephone which I would be deploying from the lofty vantage point of behind the sofa.

  • (cs) in reply to C-Octothorpe
    C-Octothorpe:
    frits:
    I'd pay good money to watch a gym rat fight a heavyset repressed geek. Although, due to lack of cardio on the part of both parties, I wouldn't expect it to last longer than 45 seconds. I give slight advantage to the geek, because he would be the first to resort to using a weapon of opportunity.
    And biting...
    Maybe if he likes the taste of self-tanner.

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