• (cs)

    "I need you cool. Are you cool?"

  • Cheese (unregistered) in reply to Sql Slave
    Sql Slave:
    -- I had an Indian coworker a few years back who, when he meant to use the term "workaround" said "reacharound." Genius points to whomever managed to plant that in his head. On the plus side for him, all his reacharounds got a lot of attention in meetings.

    I had an Indian coworker a few years ago who, when trying to say "I made a mistake on [system] and my boss chewed me out" actually said "I made a mistake on [system] and my boss ate me out". We all held in our laughter pretty well but the 20-something young lady programmer in the group turned an incredible shade of red.

  • (cs) in reply to Dean

    Honestly can't remember the guys names, but yeah, Pella. Loved the town. Were you one of the interviewers?

  • (cs) in reply to KR
    KR:
    Alan:
    I live in a country with free universal healthcare, and I havent seen a doctor in 12 years.

    Health care is free where you are? So tell me, do the doctors in your country enjoy being unpaid slaves?

    On the chance that this is a question born out of ignorance rather than sarcasm: the doctors are of course paid, basically by the government using tax money - the details vary between countries.

    Feel free now to remark how this is a pinko communist abomination that can only result in the total destruction of a country by the angered Free Market gods.

  • mathew (unregistered)

    Anyone who thinks drug testing is a good idea, for liability reasons or otherwise, should read the ACLU info on the subject.

    http://www.aclu.org/drugpolicy/testing/10842res20021021.html

  • (cs) in reply to Ie
    Ie:
    "On the drive back to Des Moines and the flight back to Missouri, I meditated on what a waste of time and money the interview had been."

    Wow... travelling for an interview for a company that wasn't interested enough to compensate your travel expenses? TRWTF right there.

    Let me clarify, the waste of money was theirs. I wasted time (2 days of flying & driving.) They wasted money for a short notice (< 1 week) plane ticket, rental car, hotel, meals for me to come in.

    Also, as for the dates 1996-2000 let me say this. I talked to my school's career placement office (or whatever it was called). They said, if you have graduated, simply state the year (e.g. 2000). Or If you are still in class, list the start date and the expected end date. In this case 1996-2000. Much like you would on a job.

    It shouldn't have been confused for employment because it was very clearly under the "Education" label. However, what I suspect happened is that the reviewer saw "UMR - 1996" and stopped reading, assuming I had finished in 1996. Perhaps the WTF is how my school told me to put my dates down :)

    Addendum (2008-06-18 11:44): Or perhaps the recruiter is to blame (as I like to think) because she probably swore up and down I had graduated (you know how they are).

  • gp (unregistered)

    I think that TRWTF of the first story is "Scott" itself. If the candidate was right for the job, and asked only a question (and said he's a DJ, if that matters) why dump him immediately? F*ck that.

  • Scotty (unregistered)

    Scott is a FACADE

  • (cs)

    If "God is a DJ", does that mean that God uses drugs?

  • Russ (unregistered) in reply to Alan
    Alan:
    operagost:
    Quaint, I know; as once President Obama implements his universal health care, we'll have mandatory blood tests and invasive exams annually on pain of imprisonment.

    I live in a country with free universal healthcare, and I havent seen a doctor in 12 years.

    Still on the waiting list, huh?

  • (cs) in reply to ryan
    ryan:
    KR:
    Alan:
    I live in a country with free universal healthcare, and I havent seen a doctor in 12 years.

    Health care is free where you are? So tell me, do the doctors in your country enjoy being unpaid slaves?

    DURRR HURRR

    pretending not to understand common English phrases is not an argument. It's also not funny

    It's not common phrase, it's f***ing common lie. What's a differance if you pay for it with you own money, you own insurance, or you will let a bunch of crooks known as goverment pay for you!?

    </rant>
  • (cs) in reply to lonewolf
    lonewolf:
    ryan:
    KR:
    Alan:
    I live in a country with free universal healthcare, and I havent seen a doctor in 12 years.

    Health care is free where you are? So tell me, do the doctors in your country enjoy being unpaid slaves?

    DURRR HURRR

    pretending not to understand common English phrases is not an argument. It's also not funny

    It's not common phrase, it's f***ing common lie. What's a differance if you pay for it with you own money, you own insurance, or you will let a bunch of crooks known as goverment pay for you!?

    </rant>

    QFT -- of course, the government employees all pay for that out of their own pockets right? WHAT? They use my tax dollars? That ain't freaking free

  • (cs)

    Mandatory drug tests are an insult and a potential violation of privacy. What if the tests are abused to check for alcohol, HIV, sexually transmitted deseases, cancer, or whatever? Companies are known to fire people before they get really ill to avoid paying them. I don't do drugs, but I'd refuse a drug test.

  • German (unregistered) in reply to ryan
    ryan:
    KR:
    Health care is free where you are? So tell me, do the doctors in your country enjoy being unpaid slaves?

    DURRR HURRR

    pretending not to understand common English phrases is not an argument. It's also not funny

    FWIW, I laughed my a** off with the unpaid slaves comment.

  • geordie (unregistered) in reply to distineo

    Right. Best to escort him off the premises immediately, before the DA's office get's wind of things.

  • Russ (unregistered) in reply to taylonr
    taylonr:
    lonewolf:
    ryan:
    KR:
    Alan:
    I live in a country with free universal healthcare, and I havent seen a doctor in 12 years.

    Health care is free where you are? So tell me, do the doctors in your country enjoy being unpaid slaves?

    DURRR HURRR

    pretending not to understand common English phrases is not an argument. It's also not funny

    It's not common phrase, it's f***ing common lie. What's a differance if you pay for it with you own money, you own insurance, or you will let a bunch of crooks known as goverment pay for you!?

    </rant>

    QFT -- of course, the government employees all pay for that out of their own pockets right? WHAT? They use my tax dollars? That ain't freaking free

    There must be a better way to regulate these things though. There is no way that healthcare should cost as much as it does. Drugs are many times more expensive in the US then they are in other countries because insurance companies must make sure that people can't afford to pay for their medical care out of pocket. This keeps everyone paying their insurance premiums and make insurance companies billions and billions of dollars.

    It also makes doctors rich and a lot of other companies in the medical field.

    I'm not claiming that I have a solution to this, and the government is probably going to fuck it up too, but the way it is now is not right, is all I'm saying.

  • geordie (unregistered) in reply to distineo
    distineo:
    Seems like the drug testing issue is generating the most comments. What a lot of people fail to realize is that companies drug test for a reason. Liability.

    Let's say you are a functional drug user. By which I mean that most people wouldn't be able to tell if you were using or not. If it comes to pass that while performing your job duties you make a mistake that caused harm to yourself or others, or damage to property, that makes the company extremely vulnerable to lawsuits. Possibly even to criminal liability depending on the extent of damage caused.

    Right. Best to escort him off the premises immediately, before the DA's office get's wind of things.

  • (cs)

    Scott is cool. Who would want to work with a DJ?

  • WebDevGuy (unregistered)

    I only program in Python when I'm high...which is one of the main reasons I love Python, actually: It's intuitive. Nothing worse than working on a PHP project after smoking: 50% or more of your bugs are for missing semicolons, missing $ before variables, etc. etc.

  • JOhnny Bee Goode (unregistered)

    Heck yeah dude, He KNOWS he is good and likes it.

    JT http://www.ULtimate-Anonymity.com

  • WebDevGuy (unregistered) in reply to WebDevGuy
    WebDevGuy:
    I only program in Python when I'm high...which is one of the main reasons I love Python, actually: It's intuitive. Nothing worse than working on a PHP project after smoking: 50% or more of your bugs are for missing semicolons, missing $ before variables, etc. etc.
    But note that this is on my free time, for spare projects. I'd never come to work under the influence of anything; I take my development too seriously to even consider that. Key word here is "recreational" use.
  • Stang (unregistered) in reply to Rboy
    rboy:
    Everyone knows that "Big Tobacco" pays the government to keep marijuana illegal
    Do They?
    Of course they don't. It's the alcohol industry (Anheiser-Busch, I'm looking at you) that pays to keep marajuana illegal.
  • (cs) in reply to Russ
    Russ:
    the government is probably going to fuck it up too, but the way it is now is not right, is all I'm saying.

    Trust me they're gonna fuck it.. I live in a country with public healthcare managed by goverment agencies, and they are so inefficent that people are getting private healthcare anyway and end up paying twice... LOL

    Hail EU BTW!

  • (cs) in reply to Sql Slave

    The real WTF is that the original resume was improperly written.

    Yeah? Which ISO standard is it that defines proper formatting for a resume?

    The submitter's use of "1996-2000" should not have been a major barrier to comprehension when read by any person fluent in English. Especially if, as is the case every resume I've ever read, there are separate sections of the document for "Education" and "Work Experience".

  • (cs) in reply to WebDevGuy
    WebDevGuy:
    I only program in Python when I'm high...which is one of the main reasons I love Python, actually: It's intuitive. Nothing worse than working on a PHP project after smoking: 50% or more of your bugs are for missing semicolons, missing $ before variables, etc. etc.
    Tabs???
  • (cs)

    I'm surprised no one brought this up before...

    TRWTF is ditching your classes for that long, just to attend job interviews. That isn't to say landing an interview isn't important, but IMO it isn't worth it to risk low or failing grades in your classes.

  • WebDevGuy (unregistered) in reply to Stang
    Stang:
    rboy:
    Everyone knows that "Big Tobacco" pays the government to keep marijuana illegal
    Do They?
    Of course they don't. It's the alcohol industry (Anheiser-Busch, I'm looking at you) that pays to keep marajuana illegal.
    And they're very good at marketing. I know many people who think of smokers as "losers" because we don't start fights and make asses of ourselves (or crash nearly as many cars) as they do when enjoying their substance of choice. The alcohol industry is very interested in casting smokers as outcasts. By keeping the substance illegal, it also puts users into a subculture that is dominated by the more "eccentric types" as far as image goes. Ordinary smokers who like the occasional joint are looked at very differently from someone who likes a couple beers after work.
  • WebDevGuy (unregistered) in reply to real_aardvark
    real_aardvark:
    WebDevGuy:
    I only program in Python when I'm high...which is one of the main reasons I love Python, actually: It's intuitive. Nothing worse than working on a PHP project after smoking: 50% or more of your bugs are for missing semicolons, missing $ before variables, etc. etc.
    Tabs???
    Auto-indentation! Vim, TextMate, Emacs, they all do it.
  • (cs) in reply to Comfortably Numb
    Comfortably Numb:
    snoofle:
    you gotta bring in entertainment on the company nickel.
    I guess, if you're a dick. The real WTF is that people like you and S.L. think that it's fun to mock people when they make a simple mistake.
    There's a big difference between laughing at and laughing with... that candidate didn't seem offended, and (just guessing) seems like someone I'd like to work with as he's got a good sense of humor.

    Somewhat off topic on the drug test thing... About 15 years ago, a friend of mine, who never used drugs, accepted a job offer, resigned, and went to take the drug test, which came back positive. The offer was rescinded. He was caught between a rock and a hard place. He tracked it down: some clerk punched in the wrong social security number (his) for someone elses test. It took a few weeks, but the offer was subsequently reinstated and he was hired. I learned then and there to NEVER resign until AFTER all the tests/investigations come back clean - even if you have nothing to hide!

    Addendum (2008-06-18 12:24): In 25 years of working at places with mandatory drug testing, not one has ever done a "subsequent" test...

  • Mark (unregistered)

    Back in the late 90s when I had a took a job that promised on the paerwork that every employee would be drug tested every six months. I worked there for eighteen months and while I was aware of folks in other departments being tested, not one person from IT was (to my knowledge) tested in all that time.

    I figured it was something akin to 'don't ask, don't tell' in the face of a tough market for finding talent.

  • (cs) in reply to lonewolf

    "What's a differance if you pay for it with you own money, you own insurance, or you will let a bunch of crooks known as goverment pay for you!?"

    The difference is in the amount you pay.

    A private insurer representing 100,000 patients could get more favorable pricing from healthcare providers than a single individual representing himself could.

    A government representing 100,000,000 patients could get even more favorable pricing from healthcare providers than a private insurer could.

  • (cs) in reply to Top Cod3r
    Top Cod3r:
    Yeah, I know what you mean with these stories. One time I got called into an interview, but it was over within minutes. I think I was overqualified for the job because with every question they asked me, I knew way more than they did and even offered them advice on what changes they should make in order to get better at programming.

    Wait, are you the technically-apt gentleman they decided not to offer, right before I came on-board, because you were a know-it-all douche that no one felt was a friendly fit for the team?

  • NotADrugUser (unregistered)

    Scott is a dick. I refuse to work anywhere that thinks it has the right to own my private life. I haven't used drugs, but I think it is my right to do what I want outside of the office, as long as it does not reflect on my employer. And besides, drug testing is generally considered borderline illegal in many countries.

    I have, with the full support of my management, refused to consult with companies that drug test. They can go screw themselves.

  • (cs) in reply to Rboy
    Rboy:
    Forget the drug test, have you ever hired anyone who DJ'd? Even worse, one that DJ'ing is their first love? Expect someone to punch in every day, and not do a darn thing...

    But who puts an end date to their schooling when they are STILL IN SCHOOL? The correct way denote that is 'Current', and add in an expected graduation date.

    Well, we did once hire a guy who OJ'd.

    We hired him on the basis that he lived a healthy, fruit lovin', pop-that-vita-pill sort of life.

    We had to let him go when we checked his downloads and realised that he was just another n00b who enjoyed sawing the head off his ex-wife's new boyfriend, though.

  • me (unregistered) in reply to Top Cod3r
    Top Cod3r:
    Yeah, I know what you mean with these stories. One time I got called into an interview, but it was over within minutes. I think I was overqualified for the job because with every question they asked me, I knew way more than they did and even offered them advice on what changes they should make in order to get better at programming.

    Sorry to break the news, but they didn't want you not because you were overqualified, but because you acted like a prick.

  • Ozymandias (unregistered) in reply to Col.
    Col.:
    Anyway, yeah, Scott is an uptight asshole. So what if a sysadmin likes a bit of fun at the weekends, what business is that of anyone's?

    Every sysadmin job I have ever held has had a degree of 'on call' to it. To top it off, it is not in an employers best interest to have employees arrested and unable to work.

  • (cs) in reply to WebDevGuy
    WebDevGuy:
    I only program in Python when I'm high...which is one of the main reasons I love Python, actually: It's intuitive. Nothing worse than working on a PHP project after smoking: 50% or more of your bugs are for missing semicolons, missing $ before variables, etc. etc.

    Drug use aside, perhaps you're simply a sloppy, lazy facade.

  • Stace (unregistered)
    I have tattoo sleeves and happened to be wearing a short-sleeved shirt

    I died a little inside.

    And then I laughed. And I kept laughing.

    Tattoo sleeves are the ponytail hats of the '00s.

  • Bob from Toronto (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    Wow this Scott character sounds like a real d-bag. And FWIW I'm not a drug user, but I think it should be legalized. Everyone knows that "Big Tobacco" pays the government to keep marijuana illegal, when it's been proven that A) Marijuana isn't more harmful than cigarettes, in fact it's probably less so since marijuana doesn't have POISONS in it like cigarettes, and B) That whole "gateway drug" stuff is a load of bullshit.

    Marijuana isn't more harmful cigarettes? We need to re-define harmful. Sure, no poisons, etc... but for a bunch of geeks who are basically paid for their mind, what about mental heath? Marijuana has been shown to increase your risk for psychosis. Maybe it doesn't kill you, but it sure does disable you. It must be the mental institutions paying to keep marijuana illegal then, right?

    http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20070727/marijuana_psychosis_070727/20070727/

  • (cs) in reply to real_aardvark
    real_aardvark:
    Rboy:
    Forget the drug test, have you ever hired anyone who DJ'd? Even worse, one that DJ'ing is their first love? Expect someone to punch in every day, and not do a darn thing...

    But who puts an end date to their schooling when they are STILL IN SCHOOL? The correct way denote that is 'Current', and add in an expected graduation date.

    Well, we did once hire a guy who OJ'd.

    We hired him on the basis that he lived a healthy, fruit lovin', pop-that-vita-pill sort of life.

    We had to let him go when we checked his downloads and realised that he was just another n00b who enjoyed sawing the head off his ex-wife's new boyfriend, though.

    Pun-tastic!

  • (cs) in reply to operagost

    No, the real WTF is that we allow ourselves to be drug-tested for any job not involving the health and safety of others (e.g. airline pilot). Leaving aside the idiocy of making so many drugs illegal in the first place, it's not a corporation's damn job to do anti-drug police work.

    And,yes, I think the NFL/MLB/NBA/etc's policies about recreational drug testing is stupid and should be deep-sixed.

  • (cs) in reply to Bob from Toronto
    Bob from Toronto:
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    Wow this Scott character sounds like a real d-bag. And FWIW I'm not a drug user, but I think it should be legalized. Everyone knows that "Big Tobacco" pays the government to keep marijuana illegal, when it's been proven that A) Marijuana isn't more harmful than cigarettes, in fact it's probably less so since marijuana doesn't have POISONS in it like cigarettes, and B) That whole "gateway drug" stuff is a load of bullshit.

    Marijuana isn't more harmful cigarettes? We need to re-define harmful. Sure, no poisons, etc... but for a bunch of geeks who are basically paid for their mind, what about mental heath? Marijuana has been shown to increase your risk for psychosis. Maybe it doesn't kill you, but it sure does disable you. It must be the mental institutions paying to keep marijuana illegal then, right?

    http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20070727/marijuana_psychosis_070727/20070727/

    Marijuana exposed underlying psychoses just like alcohol does. Next?

  • (cs) in reply to WebDevGuy
    WebDevGuy:
    real_aardvark:
    WebDevGuy:
    I only program in Python when I'm high...which is one of the main reasons I love Python, actually: It's intuitive. Nothing worse than working on a PHP project after smoking: 50% or more of your bugs are for missing semicolons, missing $ before variables, etc. etc.
    Tabs???
    Auto-indentation! Vim, TextMate, Emacs, they all do it.
    Clearly you haven't seen Python code like I've seen Python code. (Unless we were both smokin', naturally.)

    When you do, I can send you the (Python) code to fix it. For a small fee, of course.

    Not that it matters, but I'm a huge fan of Python. As long as I can get rid of the GIL, of course.

  • Ozymandias (unregistered) in reply to Blobster
    Blobster:
    so the presence or absence of drug use isn't relevant since it's already factored into the appraisal of ability.

    Incorrect. The presence of drug use implies poor decision making skills, an inability to follow the rules, and a criminal propensity that may not have come out otherwise.

  • Ozymandias (unregistered) in reply to Flatline
    Flatline:
    akatherder:
    The Article:
    "They'd looked at my resume and where it had said "University of Missouri — Rolla 1996-2000," they only saw that I had graduated in 1996."

    Why did they think he graduated in 1996 when that was the year he started school? Did I miss something or did the interviewers just completely misread common English?

    I think it was you who misread common English. As they weren't expecting students still at school they assumed that the first entry on his resume would be his current (and first) place of employment, rather than study.

    In other words, the interviewie fails at writing a decent resume.

  • (cs) in reply to Huf Lungdung
    Huf Lungdung:
    I'm surprised no one brought this up before...

    TRWTF is ditching your classes for that long, just to attend job interviews. That isn't to say landing an interview isn't important, but IMO it isn't worth it to risk low or failing grades in your classes.

    I wasn't one of those guys who sweated whether I'd graduate or not. I knew going in to finals I'd pass every class I had. The only question was, would I do good enough to graduate with honors? Ended up falling 1 class short, but it didn't really matter because I had already got a job.

    Oh, and I'd say if taken over the course of a semester, I'd probably have "average" attendance. Especially at a university. Just turns out I used all my sick days at once :)

  • (cs) in reply to Ozymandias
    Ozymandias:
    Blobster:
    so the presence or absence of drug use isn't relevant since it's already factored into the appraisal of ability.

    Incorrect. The presence of drug use implies poor decision making skills, an inability to follow the rules, and a criminal propensity that may not have come out otherwise.

    One might think work product, life achievement and ability to demonstrate competency would be a higher value metric than your prejudices. Is alcoholism OK in a hire, since alcohol is legal?

  • Ozymandias (unregistered) in reply to Sql Slave
    Sql Slave:
    The real WTF is that the original resume was improperly written. School graduation dates are given as a year and optionally a month; you do not list the dates of attendance. It is understandable that they made the mistake of thinking you were listing your experience at the school as a job you held for four years.

    Well, that date thing, and the whole "EDUCATION" and "EMPLOYMENT" sections being in different locations. They are two VERY different things and do NOT get mixed.

  • (cs) in reply to Ozymandias
    Ozymandias:
    Blobster:
    so the presence or absence of drug use isn't relevant since it's already factored into the appraisal of ability.

    Incorrect. The presence of drug use implies poor decision making skills, an inability to follow the rules, and a criminal propensity that may not have come out otherwise.

    Very possibly; yes; and no.

    Your problem with the (estimated) 60% of SysAdmins who use recreational drugs to make their pitiful little lives a bit less painful, again?

  • Vlad Patryshev (unregistered)

    Yes, this is the way we Russian say it (at least at times; I personally find it hard to respect someone who does not know how to pronounce "façade")... sorry about that. Now let's focus on our erratic spreadsheet (which, with Russian accent, sounds like "fck us on our erotic spreadsht")...

    "excetera", as so many software engineers use to say.

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