The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Ah yes the good old days in tech support. Some users seem to think that if it uses electricity, it must be an Information System.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

That didn't help either, and further basic troubleshooting revealed that the power strip had no light on it, and the outlet the strip was plugged into had no power.

He's a PhD computer scientist not a fucking electrical engineer. What do you expect?

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

At my University, the professors think the help desk is just what it says -- there to help them do their own work. "I need you to put these pictures on a CD and make 35 copies for my students."

Um, no. If the CD burner isn't broken, you can burn your own CDs. Or get a student worker to do it.

Plus, the pictures are copyrighted and you're setting yourself up for possible legal trouble. The job just doesn't pay enough to take on that kind of risk.

JamesQMurphy · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Jeff:
Ah yes the good old days in tech support. Some users seem to think that if it uses electricity, it must be an Information System.

But not vice versa, according to the good doctor.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Jeff:
Ah yes the good old days in tech support. Some users seem to think that if it uses electricity, it must be an Information System.

I was thinking that Mary was used to working in a union office where she could catch hell for not following procedure over something mundane.

boog · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

I advised that she can safely unplug the stapler by locating power cord. She was not comfortable with performing those steps.

Locating the power cord would require feeling around behind the desk to find the outlet. So she has a valid reason to be afraid of doing it herself. One word: Spiders.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Mark:
Plus, the pictures are copyrighted and you're setting yourself up for possible legal trouble. The job just doesn't pay enough to take on that kind of risk.

Doesn't the fair use doctrine allow for copyrighted works in nonprofit educational use?

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

You mean electrician!?

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

I call shenanigans on the PHD story

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

But my laptop does have a G-Spot. Its the red thing near the "G" key on my Lenovo laptop

boog · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

"My neighbor's bull," he responded, "he keeps getting 'romantic' with your satellite dish."
When I dispatched a local tech, I told him to make sure to bring some gloves.

Should have told him to take some mace. I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Anon:
That didn't help either, and further basic troubleshooting revealed that the power strip had no light on it, and the outlet the strip was plugged into had no power.

He's a PhD computer scientist not a fucking electrical engineer. What do you expect?

:D

And not really suited to life in the real world by the looks of it either!

C-Octothorpe · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

boog:
"My neighbor's bull," he responded, "he keeps getting 'romantic' with your satellite dish."
When I dispatched a local tech, I told him to make sure to bring some gloves.
Should have told him to take some mace. I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.

That's next weeks TDWTF featured article... That and whether or not the techs fault-finder was both water and bull semen-proof.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

I've seen this before: one of my Algorithms lecturers (professor of computer science) asked a tech support to come in and get a computer running in a lecture. The tech support came in, plugged in the monitor, and left... :)

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

backForMore:
I call shenanigans on the PHD story

Sorry, basic telephone service (i.e. landline in the USA) is powered by batteries at the central telephone office.

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_exchange

"Most urban exchanges were common-battery, meaning that the central office provided power for the telephone circuits, as is the case today."

So it is possible to pick up a (basic!) landline phone while the power is out and call someone.

frits · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Steve H.:
Jeff:
Ah yes the good old days in tech support. Some users seem to think that if it uses electricity, it must be an Information System.
I was thinking that Mary was used to working in a union office where she could catch hell for not following procedure over something mundane.

Then she should have called an electrician.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Steve H.:
Mark:
Plus, the pictures are copyrighted and you're setting yourself up for possible legal trouble. The job just doesn't pay enough to take on that kind of risk.
Doesn't the fair use doctrine allow for copyrighted works in nonprofit educational use?

Also, official pictures of then-Senator Bill Frist are produced by the US government, and thus public domain.

C-Octothorpe · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

The Web is the Root of All Info:
backForMore:
I call shenanigans on the PHD story

Sorry, basic telephone service (i.e. landline in the USA) is powered by batteries at the central telephone office.

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_exchange

"Most urban exchanges were common-battery, meaning that the central office provided power for the telephone circuits, as is the case today."

So it is possible to pick up a (basic!) landline phone while the power is out and call someone.

You sound surprized...

That was always one of the advantages (in my mind) of land-line vs voip, was that in a power outage, you still can call 911.

Zylon · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

At this point I refuse to believe "My computer doesn't work and oh also the power is off!" stories anymore.

Power Troll · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Hmm, how come none of these stories ever involve Apple hardware?

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

It was an Apple stapler

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

boog:
"My neighbor's bull," he responded, "he keeps getting 'romantic' with your satellite dish."
When I dispatched a local tech, I told him to make sure to bring some gloves.
Should have told him to take some mace. I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.

Yes, spraying a fucking bull in the face with mace is a great idea that definitely will not get you killed.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Ritesh:
But my laptop does have a G-Spot. Its the red thing near the "G" key on my Lenovo laptop

The one on my HP is black... yours must be sore from overuse or something...

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

anon:
boog:
"My neighbor's bull," he responded, "he keeps getting 'romantic' with your satellite dish."
When I dispatched a local tech, I told him to make sure to bring some gloves.
Should have told him to take some mace. I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.

Yes, spraying a fucking bull in the face with mace is a great idea that definitely will not get you killed.

It works on bears. But it's a lot stronger stuff than what you carry on your keychain for muggers.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

anon:
boog:
"My neighbor's bull," he responded, "he keeps getting 'romantic' with your satellite dish."
When I dispatched a local tech, I told him to make sure to bring some gloves.
Should have told him to take some mace. I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.

Yes, spraying a fucking bull in the face with mace is a great idea that definitely will not get you killed.

That made my lol at work

Nagesh · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Phd people always sufer from lack of imajinition.

Nagesh · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

anon:
boog:
"My neighbor's bull," he responded, "he keeps getting 'romantic' with your satellite dish."
When I dispatched a local tech, I told him to make sure to bring some gloves.
Should have told him to take some mace. I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.

Yes, spraying a fucking bull in the face with mace is a great idea that definitely will not get you killed.

bull is very dosile creature. the trick is to touch bull with both hands on the side of back and then push it away. itwill leave. do not spray bull with any water or you will make it mad and it can injur you with both horns.

frits · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Power Troll:
Hmm, how come none of these stories ever involve Apple hardware?

Or Linux?

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Ritesh:
But my laptop does have a G-Spot. Its the red thing near the "G" key on my Lenovo laptop

Somebody doesn't know difference between G-spot and clitoris.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Steve H.:
Mark:
Plus, the pictures are copyrighted and you're setting yourself up for possible legal trouble. The job just doesn't pay enough to take on that kind of risk.
Doesn't the fair use doctrine allow for copyrighted works in nonprofit educational use?

He doesn't want to unplug the lawyers.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

I secretly hope all IT stories turn into exposing someone's weird pr0n addiction.

CAPTCHA: genitus. Fitting.

Power Troll · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

frits:
Power Troll:
Hmm, how come none of these stories ever involve Apple hardware?

Or Linux?

Fair point. Perhaps we should add BSD to the list.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

backForMore:
I call shenanigans on the PHD story

Nah I believe it...back when i worked at Sky, I had a Pub owner telling me in no uncertain terms he never plugged his sky box into the wall, just the TV, and that it got it's power "Through the SCART"...oh dear.

boog · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

anon:
boog:
"My neighbor's bull," he responded, "he keeps getting 'romantic' with your satellite dish."
When I dispatched a local tech, I told him to make sure to bring some gloves.
Should have told him to take some mace. I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.

Yes, spraying a fucking bull in the face with mace is a great idea that definitely will not get you killed.

Some things are worse than death. Like getting romantic with a bull.

I stand by my original suggestion.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Steve H.:
Mark:
Plus, the pictures are copyrighted and you're setting yourself up for possible legal trouble. The job just doesn't pay enough to take on that kind of risk.
Doesn't the fair use doctrine allow for copyrighted works in nonprofit educational use?

1. I am not a lawyer. 2. I don't want to guess what the law says (this month) and find out I'm wrong. 3. If educational use is not subject to copyright, why do we spend $BIGBUCKS per year on software licenses?

Oh and there's a nice taxpayer WTF -- we are shutting down core functions in our bankrupt state so we can have enough money left over to pay for software that has fully usable free equivalents.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
anon:
boog:
"My neighbor's bull," he responded, "he keeps getting 'romantic' with your satellite dish."
When I dispatched a local tech, I told him to make sure to bring some gloves.
Should have told him to take some mace. I doubt those gloves will help much if the neighbor's bull gets romantic with the dispatched tech.

Yes, spraying a fucking bull in the face with mace is a great idea that definitely will not get you killed.

bull is very dosile creature. the trick is to touch bull with both hands on the side of back and then push it away. itwill leave. do not spray bull with any water or you will make it mad and it can injur you with both horns.

Perhaps bull not so dosile when in amorous mood and silly human is trying to keep bull from object of its desires?

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Power Troll:
Hmm, how come none of these stories ever involve Apple hardware?

Because they can't even figure out how to dial IT. They're used to one big button that does everything - a phone has 12.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

...the list of operating systems that are rarely used on desktop units at large companies.

And the second two are also rarely used by novice home users.

boog · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
bull is very dosile creature. the trick is to touch bull with both hands on the side of back and then push...

That's disgusting.

Nagesh · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

boog:
Nagesh:
bull is very dosile creature. the trick is to touch bull with both hands on the side of back and then push...
That's disgusting.

When i visit my mother's uncles' village in depths of state of West Bengal, I often play with cow and bulls, so I am knowing what I am talking.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Power Troll:
frits:
Power Troll:
Hmm, how come none of these stories ever involve Apple hardware?

Or Linux?

Fair point. Perhaps we should add BSD to the list.

...the list of operating systems that are rarely used on desktop units at large companies.

And the second two are also rarely used by novice home users.

Hmm... I wonder why no one else has trouble realizing the obvious?

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Anon:
That didn't help either, and further basic troubleshooting revealed that the power strip had no light on it, and the outlet the strip was plugged into had no power.

He's a PhD computer scientist not a fucking electrical engineer. What do you expect?

I don't know, I only have a bachelors degree and I had to take a computer architecture class, complete with (virtual) circuit building. I doesn't take a leap to wonder where all that voltage and power comes from.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Edit: not no mention physics. That includes electricity and magnetism.

C-Octothorpe · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Nagesh:
boog:
Nagesh:
bull is very dosile creature. the trick is to touch bull with both hands on the side of back and then push...
That's disgusting.

When i visit my mother's uncles' village in depths of state of West Bengal, I often play with cow and bulls, so I am knowing what I am talking.

So I'm guessing beasteality is legal in India?

frits · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

boog:
Nagesh:
bull is very dosile creature. the trick is to touch bull with both hands on the side of back and then push...
That's disgusting.

Yes. Cow tipping is not very nice.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Who at Microsoft thought it would be a good idea to call the icon for the computer "My Computer". Did it not occur to them that people might need to talk to each other about it?

"Open My Computer" "Open Your Computer" "No, not my computer, the icon labeled My Computer"

(And it's really hard to hear italics over the phone.)

Argh. At least in Windows 7 they changed it to "Computer".

boog · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

frits:
boog:
Nagesh:
bull is very dosile creature. the trick is to touch bull with both hands on the side of back and then push...
That's disgusting.
Yes. Cow tipping is not very nice.

Even if the bull does a good job? Nagesh says he's an expert; maybe he can tell us if it's proper to tip afterward.

Coyne · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

User Agreement, section IV part iii paragraph 94:

The product is not guaranteed to work without a source of power. User agrees to indemnify provider from liability in such case as the user fails to provide power to the product. It is the responsibility of the user to obtain power from an appropriate "power provider" and to ensure that acquired power reaches product. In the event "power provider" fails to provide power to user, provider is not liable and user must seek remedy and any restitution from "power provider".

User Agreement, section IV part iii paragraph 95:

User agrees to indemnify provider against inability of user to understand the requirements of User Agreement, section IV part iii paragraph 94.

2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Zylon:
At this point I refuse to believe "My computer doesn't work and oh also the power is off!" stories anymore.

In that case, you'll not believe this either (but I swear it happened):

I helped my neighbours, an older couple, to fix their computer after a virus wiped out nearly everything. I knew they don't know very much about computers, so instead of asking for their "driver installation CD", I tried to be as understandable, as possible. I took a CD with me, I showed it to them, and said: "do you see this shiny round disk? When you bought the computer, there was one or more of these round things included with it. Could you please give it to me, because I'll need it to fix your computer". They said ok, they have a cupboard where they store all their "computer stuff", and the'y search it. After a few minutes, they return with a monitor cable: "This is the only thing we found, buy we know you're a smart kid, so you can sure fix the computer with this".

C-Octothorpe · 2011-05-26 Reply Admin

Val:
Zylon:
At this point I refuse to believe "My computer doesn't work and oh also the power is off!" stories anymore.

In that case, you'll not believe this either (but I swear it happened):

I helped my neighbours, an older couple, to fix their computer after a virus wiped out nearly everything. I knew they don't know very much about computers, so instead of asking for their "driver installation CD", I tried to be as understandable, as possible. I took a CD with me, I showed it to them, and said: "do you see this shiny round disk? When you bought the computer, there was one or more of these round things included with it. Could you please give it to me, because I'll need it to fix your computer". They said ok, they have a cupboard where they store all their "computer stuff", and the'y search it. After a few minutes, they return with a monitor cable: "This is the only thing we found, buy we know you're a smart kid, so you can sure fix the computer with this".

Right, and by fixing did they mean beat the computer with the monitor cable until it's no longer recognizable as a computer?

See? Fixed!

Bring Some Gloves, Finding the G-spot, and More Support Stories

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