• JamesQMurphy (unregistered)

    Alcoholism is sad. But it happens, and it can make a workplace very uncomfortable.

    When I worked for a dot-com way back when, they hired a guy who turned out to have a drinking problem. On our company ski trip (ah, dot-coms were great), he showed up late, never made it to the slopes, and spent the nights drinking scotch (he even asked if I was interested in "a little twelve-year-old" -- disgusting).

    A few weeks later, our boss offered to put him in a twelve-step program. The guy refused, even though he was falling asleep. He then went into the men's room to splash some water on his face, and wound up breaking the faucet. When the boss found him on the floor and water shooting all over the place, he promptly fired him, got a car service, and sent him home.

  • (cs) in reply to Valerion
    Valerion:
    Eventually it got so bad that they had to give the ultimatum of leave or be fired. She left.
    Many company health plans have a provision for coverage of treatment for substance abuse. And many companies have a policy that allows an employee to take time off to stay at a treatment facility if they have a substance abuse problem.
  • TopCod3r is my boss (unregistered) in reply to Gary Williams
    Gary Williams:
    Reminds me of my favourite helldesk call. Normal sort of stuff "User forgot password". Couldn't get them on the phone so went down to see him only to find him, passed out and slumped over the keyboard. I closed the call with the comment "user too inebriated to test new password".

    What did you expect them to do while they were waiting around for you to reset their password? This is why TopCod3r keeps our whole team on call 24x7 , so we deal with every problem the minute it pops up. We want to keep our uses 100% satisfied, not this 99.999% crap others push. We don't get to drink, but its a small price to pay for the reputation we've earned.

  • wtfdude (unregistered) in reply to SomeCoder
    SomeCoder:
    So this is front page Daily WTF material... why exactly?
    Because there is no back page? I think TopCod3r is an incredibly successful troll. Alex should have featured story on TopCod3rs posts, would be funny.
  • Insaint (unregistered) in reply to JamesQMurphy
    JamesQMurphy:
    (he even asked if I was interested in "a little twelve-year-old" -- disgusting).

    Scotch, I presume, rather than child. Much less disgusting that way, even though scotch isn't my thing.

  • /b Zap Brannigan b/ (Deleted as Troll) (unregistered) in reply to JeffG

    That's nothing. I'm positive the guy that designed our database is on acid or some kind of genetically modified pot that you can only get in Canada. He's got be high 24/7.

  • Pax (unregistered) in reply to TopCod3r

    I hope you're trolling.

    If you're serious, I would demand to be paid my hourly for a full 24 hours a day to work according to those rules. If a company wants to dictate what I can and cannot do on my time, they will be paying for the privilege.

  • JamesQMurphy (unregistered) in reply to Insaint
    Insaint:
    JamesQMurphy:
    (he even asked if I was interested in "a little twelve-year-old" -- disgusting).
    Scotch, I presume, rather than child. Much less disgusting that way, even though scotch isn't my thing.
    Yes, scotch -- but his pun was intentional. That was the disgusting part.

    Captcha: tristique

  • (cs) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.
    Oh my God! Who do you think you are? God? You can't just treat people as slaves, they are people! Not slaves! If I were your employee I would tell you just where you could stick your "no drinking" rule, and I would definitely take Sundays off. Have you no shame, treating people like they are slaves? Your boss should fire you, and then you'll be the one drinking!
  • Erik (unregistered) in reply to MechanicJay
    MechanicJay:
    Sir Meowmix III:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    You must really pay great with all that overtime. If you expect someone to be working 24x7 and be at your beck and call you darn well better be paying them overtime. If you pulled this speech with me I'd pour you a nice glass of STFU from which you could freely quaff.

    Didn't you post a few days ago talking about high turnover in your team? I think I'm beginning to understand why.

    I work on open source PHP code (the horrors these eyes have seen). Some days I just NEED to go home and have an adult beverage. :)

  • just some guy (unregistered) in reply to Sir Meowmix III
    Sir Meowmix III:
    fruey:
    Alcoholism is sad, but the only real WTF is that most of the comments are related to a (rather clever) troll about no drinking 24/7 in his shop.

    His troll-craft is strong.

    TopCod3r is the main reason I still read the comments these days. If I were Alex, I'd be sending stickers to him for keeping people coming back.

  • Some Girl (unregistered) in reply to just some guy

    Maybe Alex IS TopCod3r.

    Hmmm?

  • Thunder (unregistered) in reply to Valerion
    Valerion:
    Bottom line - Alcoholism is not a WTF. It's a disease.
    Eh? Sorry, dude, you've been falling for the AA claptrap. It's an addiction, and like all addictions it is ultimately a choice. Saying it's a disease implies that the 'victim' has no control over it - which is crap. Don't let anybody convince you otherwise.
  • DMala (unregistered)

    TRWTF is that anybody over the age of eight drinks YooHoo. Ick.

    Also, TopCod3r is my hero.

  • (cs) in reply to Some Girl
    Some Girl:
    Maybe Alex IS TopCod3r.

    Hmmm?

    No, but that would be funny. I don't even know Alex. Like I have said many times, I just like to share my best practices, knowledge, and ideas with other developers who want to improve.

  • just some guy (unregistered) in reply to Some Girl
    Some Girl:
    Maybe Alex IS TopCod3r.

    Hmmm?

    I hadn't ruled that out as a possibility either. I'm actually a little disappointed that we don't see him or Jake here all that often, unless I just miss them. I guess they have to work sometime.

  • Dubz (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi

    exactly, everyone knows it's gin you put with rootbeer

  • skin256 (unregistered)

    Meet Burt http://burtreynolds.com/

  • (cs) in reply to Valerion
    Valerion:

    Bottom line - Alcoholism is not a WTF. It's a disease.

    In Canada, you can't be fired for having a disease, including alcoholism. Otherwise, you face a Charter violation, where the government will sue on behalf of the fired alcoholic worker.

    An example is the case of a crane operator who shows up for work drunk. You can't fire him because alcoholism isn't fireable, and you can't let him drive the crane because he's likely to kill someone.

    It gets better - you can't give him a desk job either, because that's changing his working environment which is basically the same as constructive dismissal.

    Before you come up with an answer, remember that there's no right answer to this problem.

  • duplicity (unregistered) in reply to Some Girl
    Some Girl:
    Maybe Alex IS TopCod3r.

    Hmmm?

    Impossible. TopCod3r is funny.
  • davo (unregistered) in reply to ObiWayneKenobi
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    The Real WTF is Vodka and Root Beer! Yeech.

    Yah... Captain Morgan's and rootbeer is much better :)

  • (cs) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    Some Girl:
    Maybe Alex IS TopCod3r.

    Hmmm?

    No, but that would be funny. I don't even know Alex. Like I have said many times, I just like to share my best practices, knowledge, and ideas with other developers who want to improve.

    So... has anyone ever seem TopCod3r and Alex together? Hmmm???

  • (cs) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    Didn't I used to work for you?

  • DS (unregistered) 
    $input = "';SELECT vodka FROM car WHERE brand='smirnoff";
query("SELECT root_beer FROM soda_machine WHERE brand='$input'");
  • JamesQMurphy (unregistered) in reply to D-Coder
    D-Coder:
    So... has anyone ever seem TopCod3r and Alex together? Hmmm???

    Yes:

    [image]
  • I walked the dinosaur (unregistered) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    We use a similar method. When someone hits a slow week and doesn't get as much quality development done in the same amount of time, we know that it is because they have been drinking. Usually my bosses boss will then have a talk with them, unless it's the second offense, in which case they probably get reported to HR and summarily fired. We actively encourage for our developers to live whatever lifestyle they wish away from work, but when they start drinking and it has bad effects on their work habits (which 99% of the time it does), then action has to be taken.

    Our developers aren't on call 24 x 7 though. We at least trust them enough not to have to be able to check on them after work hours.

  • Procedural (unregistered) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    I`m not sure that you clearly understand the fine distinction between "buying someone's services" and "slavery".

  • AP (unregistered) in reply to Sir Meowmix III
    Sir Meowmix III:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    You must really pay great with all that overtime. If you expect someone to be working 24x7 and be at your beck and call you darn well better be paying them overtime. If you pulled this speech with me I'd pour you a nice glass of STFU from which you could freely quaff.

    This... actually sounds a lot like my last job at Internet Retailer (except for the "you-can't-drink" bit). The pay was very good, but there was no overtime. And we were on call 24/7 -- during the holidays, this meant all of us.

    It wasn't worth the pay. I earn less now, but I'm happier.

  • Procedural (unregistered) in reply to Matt

    ... if we drink vodka we'd all be wiser ?

  • (cs) in reply to TopCod3rsBottom
    TopCod3rsBottom:
    Have you no shame, treating people like they are slaves?
    It's really not that bad. TC's company provides them with clean, laboratory-certified methamphetamine at no extra charge for those 24/7 schedules (quietly, of course) and pays for them to crash and get clean once per year at Betty Ford.
  • Procedural (unregistered) in reply to themagni
    themagni:
    Valerion:

    Bottom line - Alcoholism is not a WTF. It's a disease.

    In Canada, you can't be fired for having a disease, including alcoholism. Otherwise, you face a Charter violation, where the government will sue on behalf of the fired alcoholic worker.

    An example is the case of a crane operator who shows up for work drunk. You can't fire him because alcoholism isn't fireable, and you can't let him drive the crane because he's likely to kill someone.

    It gets better - you can't give him a desk job either, because that's changing his working environment which is basically the same as constructive dismissal.

    Before you come up with an answer, remember that there's no right answer to this problem.

    I think you can suspend them without pay until they resolve their issues, however, after a sufficient number of warnings have been given. If your employee is worth the effort, however, it may be wise, if is he so willing, to pay for his treatment. In Canada, that's tax-deductible. It can also be good business.

  • Ryuzaki (unregistered)

    So in other words, TRWTF is that it took them that long to notice how strange he was behaving? And as for the "troll" and the fools that follow him, WWWHHHHHOOOOO CCAAAAARRRRREEEES?

  • bla (unregistered) in reply to TopCod3r

    You got to be kiddin me! People accept that? No way my employer forbids me to drink alcohol in my freetime!

  • TopCod3rFan (unregistered) in reply to Procedural

    I'm loving the number of people being trolled today.

  • (cs) in reply to JeffG
    JeffG:
    Golf clap Top Cod3r! Nice troll my man.
    lol no kidding, how many saps did he get with this one, 5-6? Cheers Top Cod3r lol!!!

    Oh, and Burt... keep on keep'n on. I wish I had a drink right now myself...

  • (cs)

    I'm glad I took top cod3r's real name, forcing him to register an inferior version without any spaces

    edit: nyah nyah

  • Dissenting opinion (unregistered) in reply to fruey
    fruey:
    Alcoholism is sad, but the only real WTF is that most of the comments are related to a (rather clever) troll about no drinking 24/7 in his shop.

    One can be rather clever or one can be a troll, not both. I don't have a hard time believing he finds himself to be rather clever, though.

    Why don't all you cool kids who are way smarter than the rest of us just shut up now?

  • xous (unregistered) in reply to Daniel

    I don't know about vodka and root beer but root beer and Captain Morgan's spiced rum goes very well together.

  • Jeff (unregistered)

    taco-hawking seductress

    Where did you go to lunch again?

  • Tryke (unregistered) in reply to Crabs
    Crabs:
    By the way, being drunk at work makes the day go by so much quicker. At my last job they half encouraged us to go out and get beers at lunch. On fridays, beer was brought in to the office in the afternoon. I recommend it. Also, no cop will ever expect a drunk driver during the morning rush hour commute, so your safe so long as your not absolutely retarded.

    Wait, this sounds like the place I work at now! "Beer Friday"s are a frequent occurrence.

  • (cs)
    taco-hawking seductress

    Pics?

  • (cs) in reply to incognito
    incognito:
    Alcoholism isn't really all that funny. These guys are wrecked and risk death during detox. He needs help, not someone to laugh at his expense.

    I'm laughing at my own expense. The internet isn't cheap you know.

  • (cs) in reply to Top Cod3r
    Top Cod3r:
    I'm glad I took top cod3r's real name, forcing him to register an inferior version without any spaces

    edit: nyah nyah

    Couldn't get any recognition on your own, huh? That's pretty sad. Sure you want to keep pointing it out?

  • Teh Irish Gril Riot (unregistered)

    At a previous job (name omitted), the drug policy was (and no I'm not joking) "If your supervisor deems that you are too under the influence of drugs or alcohol to perform your duties, they may send you home for the day." I'm paraphrasing, but that's essentially it - I kid you not.

    Of course, our CEO at the time was always seen walking around with a tumbler of scotch and a lit cigar. This was in the latter 90's. I'm always reminded of him whenever I watch Mad Men.

    I actually miss that company.

  • (cs) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.
    Your bait always gives me a good chuckle....
  • (cs) in reply to duplicity
    duplicity:
    Some Girl:
    Maybe Alex IS TopCod3r.

    Hmmm?

    Impossible. TopCod3r is funny.
    yay :) now all we need to do is make mfd = mdd "mandatory drinking day" to numb the pain...
  • bob (unregistered)

    I saw what was coming the second I read "I brought my own". Who the F brings their own drink to a restaurant? Alcoholics, that's who, or some health nut, but they wouldn't be drinking root beer. Nobody in between would do that.

  • nitehawk (unregistered) in reply to Sir Meowmix III

    If you guys stop responding to the troll, he will eventually give up and leave.

    capcha: ullamcorper... wtf?

  • (cs) in reply to DS
    DS:
    $input = "';SELECT vodka FROM car WHERE brand='smirnoff";
query("SELECT root_beer FROM soda_machine WHERE brand='$input'");
    No, no, no. Use LINQ.

    var drunk = rootbeer.Where(r => r.Contains("vodka"));

  • Some Girl (unregistered) in reply to nitehawk
    nitehawk:
    If you guys stop responding to the troll, he will eventually give up and leave.

    capcha: ullamcorper... wtf?

    This confuses me

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