• HK44 (unregistered) in reply to josh
    josh:
    my company had to fire a sysadmin for smoking crack in the hall
    Sorry you lost your job
  • Broz (unregistered)

    If only Burt had known... http://xkcd.com/323/

  • Bizzle (unregistered) in reply to RBoy
    RBoy:
    Sir Meowmix III:
    fruey:
    Alcoholism is sad, but the only real WTF is that most of the comments are related to a (rather clever) troll about no drinking 24/7 in his shop.

    His troll-craft is strong.

    And you're all going to ruin it! If all of you spoilers keep posting enough, nobody will respond to him, making me feel all vindico.

    This!

    Everyone needs to STFU about TopCod3r being a troll. He's no troll, he's master of his domain. Watching him reel in so many people in this thread has been amazing fun.

  • psb (unregistered) in reply to HK44
    HK44:
    josh:
    my company had to fire a sysadmin for smoking crack in the hall
    Sorry you lost your job
    Really? "Online Web Comic 'Mandatory Fun Day' Seeks New Artist"

    Anyway, allcohol is bad, but it certainly isn't as bad as peopple who get high and twitchy on a far more common subbstance. You see them, double-typing lettters as they've indulged in too mmuch by mid-afternoon. Many workplaaces keep this substance on hand, to subdue their workforce. Dark, black evil. In a mug. Steaming. Then they have the temerity to force them to program Java!

  • Procedural (unregistered) in reply to ContraCorners
    ContraCorners:
    MeRp:
    ContraCorners:
    Lurch:
    The summer before I went to grad school I worked for a small electronic manufacturer that had their own printed circuit facility. Nothing fancy, NC drill, plate-thru hole line (where I worked), etch line, and solder-dip tinning room.

    The guy that did the solder dipping looked like a member of ZZ Top (beard down to his waist). He had a 1 cubit foot refrigerator in his work room. He came into work smelling of beer, with a six-pack he put into the fridge. That was gone by lunch (which was spent in the local bar) during which he bought another six-pack for the afternoon. Another trip to the bar after work completed the day.

    How he kept from burning himself with the molten solder and the 900 degree oil I will never know.

    What? The typo police haven't jumped on "1 cubit foot" yet? "Which is it, 1 foot or 1 cubit?" Come on now, someone has to say something. Let's hear it!

    A cubit foot is a legitimate measure of area. One shape that would be a single cubit foot in area would be a rectangle that is a cubit long and a foot wide. Presumably the poster was assuming some standard height for this fridge.

    Perhaps next time you should consider the possibilities before you make a typo citizen's arrest.

    Ok. But if you have a refrigerator that's two dimensional, you're going to have an awfully hard time keeping beer in it. Aren't you?

    This must be a British beer for British beer. Flat & warm.

  • Procedural (unregistered) in reply to Procedural
    Procedural:
    ContraCorners:
    MeRp:
    ContraCorners:
    Lurch:
    The summer before I went to grad school I worked for a small electronic manufacturer that had their own printed circuit facility. Nothing fancy, NC drill, plate-thru hole line (where I worked), etch line, and solder-dip tinning room.

    The guy that did the solder dipping looked like a member of ZZ Top (beard down to his waist). He had a 1 cubit foot refrigerator in his work room. He came into work smelling of beer, with a six-pack he put into the fridge. That was gone by lunch (which was spent in the local bar) during which he bought another six-pack for the afternoon. Another trip to the bar after work completed the day.

    How he kept from burning himself with the molten solder and the 900 degree oil I will never know.

    What? The typo police haven't jumped on "1 cubit foot" yet? "Which is it, 1 foot or 1 cubit?" Come on now, someone has to say something. Let's hear it!

    A cubit foot is a legitimate measure of area. One shape that would be a single cubit foot in area would be a rectangle that is a cubit long and a foot wide. Presumably the poster was assuming some standard height for this fridge.

    Perhaps next time you should consider the possibilities before you make a typo citizen's arrest.

    Ok. But if you have a refrigerator that's two dimensional, you're going to have an awfully hard time keeping beer in it. Aren't you?

    This must be a British beer for British beer. Flat & warm.

    (err... British fridge for British beer)

    (the captcha applet here is eerie: inhibeo)

  • Steve (unregistered)

    A sad story, not a WTF.

    Back in a previous life, when I was in the broadcasting business I worked with a all night guy who always had a "water glass" in his hand.

    The "water glass", we eventually discovered, was filled with straight vodka.

    He did a full six hour shift with a serious snoot full. You could never tell by listening to him, though.

    He eventually moved on to heroin, I'm told.

    Another sad story. The world is full of them.

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to Code Dependent
    Code Dependent:
    This guy had such a strong alcohol addiction that he was carrying it around with him at work, drinking it all day long -- and nobody smelled it on his breath? Drink that much of any alcohol and never mind your breath, people can smell it coming out your pores.
    Vodka is the "on the job" drinker's quaff of choice. It doesn't smell on the breath as badly as other alcoholic beverages.
  • A Sysadmin (unregistered) in reply to josh
    josh:
    my company had to fire a sysadmin for smoking crack in the hall

    Why was your wordpress server in the hallway?

    /ducks

  • (cs) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    I'm glad I'm not on your team.

  • RBoy (unregistered) in reply to Robert')
    Robert'):
    Alcoholic hides his booze in root beer bottles, gets caught drinking at work. OK, and the WTF is...?

    That he didn't share..

    Jerk.

  • (cs) in reply to /b Zap Brannigan b/ (Deleted as Troll)
    /b Zap Brannigan b/ (Deleted as Troll):
    That's nothing. I'm positive the guy that designed our database is on acid
    That's actually a good thing.
  • (cs) in reply to Soviut
    Soviut:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    I'm glad I'm not on your team.

    Wow. Four pages in and people still falling for TopCod3r. Do you people not read teh other comments before posting your own...?

  • Turd Sandwich (unregistered) in reply to The Coffey Maker

    Whoa!

  • (cs) in reply to Soviut
    Soviut:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink.

    I'm glad I'm not on your team.

    I was gonna keep quiet and just enjoy the trolling, but somebody has to say it: Doesn't anyone read the comments? We wouldn't have half as many to read if half of you read half of them before posting.

  • TraumaPony (unregistered)

    LOL ALCOHOLISM AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

    ...

  • (cs) in reply to some guy
    some guy:
    Soviut:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    I'm glad I'm not on your team.

    Wow. Four pages in and people still falling for TopCod3r. Do you people not read teh other comments before posting your own...?

    It is amazing, isn't it? Hats off to TopCod3r. It can't be easy to write such obvious trolling AND get so many others to completely miss it.

    Of course, people have been fired for personal behavior outside of work and working hours. Just google "Peter Oiler" and "Winn-Dixie" for an example.

    http://www.laaclu.org/News/2002/winn.htm

  • Valdez (unregistered) in reply to Sir Meowmix III
    Sir Meowmix III:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    You must really pay great with all that overtime. If you expect someone to be working 24x7 and be at your beck and call you darn well better be paying them overtime. If you pulled this speech with me I'd pour you a nice glass of STFU from which you could freely quaff.

    I totally agree man. you can't fire me for what i do in my free time (within reason). If i were at a social gathering and i had a couple drinks and you called me in and i trying to work for you but you penalize me for drinking off the job then i'd take you to court on that one buddy

  • 40k3T (unregistered) in reply to Matt
    Matt:
    Vodka is has one of the weakest odors- in fact, straight Vodka shouldn't smell like anything. Mixing it with Root Beer would certainly diminish the smell- and so drinking it nobody would be none the wiser.

    Well, as a recovered alcoholic who drank a LOT of vodka, I disagree. Now, as a non-drinker, I can smell alcohol. And so can most other folks who aren't drinking.

    TRWTF is eating mints to cover up liquor smell--you smell of mints AND alcohol, so you are twice as likely to be detected. (mmm, peppermint schnapps!)

    -- wild turkey

  • (cs) in reply to ContraCorners
    ContraCorners:
    some guy:
    Soviut:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    I'm glad I'm not on your team.

    Wow. Four pages in and people still falling for TopCod3r. Do you people not read teh other comments before posting your own...?

    It is amazing, isn't it? Hats off to TopCod3r. It can't be easy to write such obvious trolling AND get so many others to completely miss it.

    Of course, people have been fired for personal behavior outside of work and working hours. Just google "Peter Oiler" and "Winn-Dixie" for an example.

    http://www.laaclu.org/News/2002/winn.htm

    Of course, while I really think most of these people are serious, I imagine at least some of those replies to TopCod3r are actually us getting trolled. Somewhere, someone is laughing to themselves, "ha ha they think I thought TopCod3r was serious!"

  • Omega Minus (unregistered) in reply to some guy
    some guy:
    Of course, while I really think most of these people are serious, I imagine at least some of those replies to TopCod3r are actually *us* getting trolled. Somewhere, someone is laughing to themselves, "ha ha they think I thought TopCod3r was serious!"

    Finally, a place on the internet where people play head games with each other.

    And I'm a 15-year-old girl looking for chat.

  • atlas (unregistered) in reply to TimmyT
    TimmyT:
    ObiWayneKenobi:
    The Real WTF is Vodka and Root Beer! Yeech.

    I would normally agree except Trader Joes has this vanilla bean cream soda which when mixed with a decent non-flavored vodka is pretty amazing...

    Root beer mixed with vanilla-flavored vodka tastes like cream soda. That combination is a favorite of the servers at my local Old Chicago.

  • one dude on the interweb (unregistered)

    i had a friend who worked for atari in the early 80's with a similar story. he used to munch oranges all day, and would never share with friends. because why? because he was using a syringe to inject them with vodka, that's why.

    anyway, one day a co-worker grabbed an orange when he wasn't looking. turned him in. my friend got referred to HR. or whatever they called it in the early 80s.

    he gets to HR, and he's cool like a cucumber 'cause he's been fortified with his fruit. HR babe says something like "what do you suggest we do this? this is beyond the pale!" friend hits back with "i think you need to come with me after dinner tonight because, like, it'd be shagadelic baby!"

    friend kept his job and married HR babe.

  • peterb (unregistered) in reply to theillien
    theillien:
    There's nothing odd about asking if someone wants a little 12 year-old when talking about scotch. Something tells me it wasn't a pun and you just have no clue.

    Titus 1:15, anyone?

  • (cs) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    Good thing you're not working in a sensible country. In most countries that would be an illegal restriction, and considering everyone to be on call 24x7 permanently would be illegal as well. I do hope you pay those people 24 times their hourly wage instead of 8 times as well?

  • (cs) in reply to Sir Meowmix III
    Sir Meowmix III:
    Gabelstaplerfahrer:
    MechanicJay:
    Didn't you comment a few days ago about a high-rate of turnover in your team... I think I'm beginning to understand why.

    Sounds like an independent TDWTF report is in the making...

    The only power someone has over you is the power you choose to freely give them. If TopCh0d3r pulled this speech on me or even pretended like he could tell me what to do on my free time I'd summon the hatred of the ancients and soon he would be overwhelmed.

    This thread makes me thirsty for some whiskey.

    Or for some real fun, report TopCh03r and his company for violations of labour laws.

  • (cs) in reply to Tryke
    Tryke:
    Crabs:
    By the way, being drunk at work makes the day go by so much quicker. At my last job they half encouraged us to go out and get beers at lunch. On fridays, beer was brought in to the office in the afternoon. I recommend it. Also, no cop will ever expect a drunk driver during the morning rush hour commute, so your safe so long as your not absolutely retarded.

    Wait, this sounds like the place I work at now! "Beer Friday"s are a frequent occurrence.

    We had beer and wine available friday afternoons at my previous job. Then we were bought out by another firm who tried to stop that, until their CEO came over on a friday and was presented with a few beers :)

  • (cs) in reply to nitehawk
    nitehawk:
    If you guys stop responding to the troll, he will eventually give up and leave.

    capcha: ullamcorper... wtf?

    That's assuming he's a troll. While extreme (mostly you see only elements, not the entire package) the type of environment he describes as having installed at his workplace isn't uncommon.

  • (cs) in reply to one dude on the interweb
    one dude on the interweb:
    friend kept his job and married HR babe.
    Paula Bean's elder sister?
  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    Most alcoholics are what they are because they have serious problems.

    Indeed. My mother used to drink, hard. She was in constant pain for years after a bodged operation, the booze reinforced the massive doses of painkillers (think 500mg of morphine every 2 hours + codeine +++) so the pain would be reduced to at least somewhat bearable levels.

  • (cs) in reply to some guy
    some guy:
    Soviut:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    I'm glad I'm not on your team.

    Wow. Four pages in and people still falling for TopCod3r. Do you people not read teh other comments before posting your own...?

    Not after 4 pages, no :)

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to incognito
    incognito:
    Alcoholism isn't really all that funny. These guys are wrecked and risk death during detox. He needs help, not someone to laugh at his expense.

    Seems to me that if we revived the custom of laughing at drunks, that might serve as a social deterrent. And save some lives.

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to Bizzle
    Bizzle:
    RBoy:
    Sir Meowmix III:
    fruey:
    Alcoholism is sad, but the only real WTF is that most of the comments are related to a (rather clever) troll about no drinking 24/7 in his shop.

    His troll-craft is strong.

    And you're all going to ruin it! If all of you spoilers keep posting enough, nobody will respond to him, making me feel all vindico.

    This!

    Everyone needs to STFU about TopCod3r being a troll. He's no troll, he's master of his domain. Watching him reel in so many people in this thread has been amazing fun.

    The farce is strong in this one.

  • Jay (unregistered) in reply to ContraCorners
    ContraCorners:
    Of course, people have been fired for personal behavior outside of work and working hours. Just google "Peter Oiler" and "Winn-Dixie" for an example.

    Or "Eliot Spitzer".

  • Joel H. (unregistered)

    I think this article is supposed to be funny. I found it kinda sad.

  • Vollhorst (unregistered)

    Reminds me of a fat guy I worked with at my last job. I always wondered why he went to the bathroom at exactly the same time each day. Once I was taking a shit and forgot to lock the stall door, so he may not have noticed me sitting there. Cause he went directly to the first stall (I took the third or sth.) and started to masturbate. Never told him or my co-workers or even boss about it of course, felt sorry for that poor guy. But still: How sick can you be?

  • Anonymous Drunkard (unregistered) in reply to Daniel
    Daniel:
    Yeah, I can't imagine root beer and vodka would be a good combination.

    I've tried it (not at work). It's not that much different from vodka and Coke--if you like the way alcohol and sodas combine, and you like root beer, you'll probably like it. Also, you can use a vanilla-flavored vodka and call it a root beer float.

  • Casey (unregistered)

    Hmmmm, German designed SAP makes a lot more sense now. They werer all drunk instead of stupid.

  • (cs) in reply to Thunder
    Thunder:
    Valerion:
    Bottom line - Alcoholism is not a WTF. It's a disease.
    Eh? Sorry, dude, you've been falling for the AA claptrap. It's an addiction, and like all addictions it is ultimately a choice. Saying it's a disease implies that the 'victim' has no control over it - which is crap. Don't let anybody convince you otherwise.

    Clarification: The reason for the illness label is to help alcoholics handle the guilt that they get when they ev. stop drinking.

  • csrster (unregistered) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    Don't joke about it. I know of at least one IT firm where employees were sacked for smoking - not at work, not near work, just for being smokers.

  • Franz Kafka (unregistered) in reply to csrster
    csrster:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    Don't joke about it. I know of at least one IT firm where employees were sacked for smoking - not at work, not near work, just for being smokers.

    That's why his trolls are so good - they're close enough to sane that someone somewhere has done it.

  • RiF (unregistered) in reply to Franz Kafka

    [quote user="Franz Kafka] That's why his trolls are so good - they're close enough to sane that someone somewhere has done it.[/quote] You really think they are good?

    It's always September.

  • (cs) in reply to Some Girl
    Some Girl:
    Maybe Alex IS TopCod3r.

    Hmmm?

    No, TopCod3r is the Stig.
  • Kuba (unregistered) in reply to Matt
    Matt:
    Vodka is has one of the weakest odors- in fact, straight Vodka shouldn't smell like anything.
    Said someone who had lost his sense of smell. Dude, if you can't smell a solution of 40% ethanol in water for what it is, you're doomed. Even something like 20% in root beer should be easy to smell.
  • YAGrammarNazi (unregistered) in reply to Crabs
    Crabs:
    ...so your safe so long as your not absolutely retarded.

    Does this retardation involve not knowing the difference between "your" and "you're"?

  • (cs) in reply to vr602
    vr602:
    Some Girl:
    Maybe Alex IS TopCod3r.

    Hmmm?

    No, TopCod3r is the Stig.

    No, I'm TopCod3r, and so's my wife!

  • (cs) in reply to Casey
    Casey:
    Hmmmm, German designed SAP makes a lot more sense now. They werer all drunk instead of stupid.
    Alas, the word you are really looking for is "evil".
  • Ken (unregistered) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    This sounds more worthy of a front page WTF to me.

  • Pony Princess (unregistered)

    That's not a WTF.

  • Jimjim (unregistered)

    TopCod3r is my hero !

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