• Hoffmann (unregistered)

    Wasn't realy WTF, more like "Oh, dude, s.o. should have recognized and helped him"

  • Lurch (unregistered) in reply to Dirk

    The summer before I went to grad school I worked for a small electronic manufacturer that had their own printed circuit facility. Nothing fancy, NC drill, plate-thru hole line (where I worked), etch line, and solder-dip tinning room.

    The guy that did the solder dipping looked like a member of ZZ Top (beard down to his waist). He had a 1 cubit foot refrigerator in his work room. He came into work smelling of beer, with a six-pack he put into the fridge. That was gone by lunch (which was spent in the local bar) during which he bought another six-pack for the afternoon. Another trip to the bar after work completed the day.

    How he kept from burning himself with the molten solder and the 900 degree oil I will never know.

  • (cs) in reply to themagni
    themagni:
    In Canada, you can't be fired for having a disease, including alcoholism. Otherwise, you face a Charter violation, where the government will sue on behalf of the fired alcoholic worker.

    An example is the case of a crane operator who shows up for work drunk. You can't fire him because alcoholism isn't fireable, and you can't let him drive the crane because he's likely to kill someone.

    It gets better - you can't give him a desk job either, because that's changing his working environment which is basically the same as constructive dismissal.

    Before you come up with an answer, remember that there's no right answer to this problem.

    You can still fire people for incompetence, right? So document repeated specific failure to properly perform his job. Fire on that basis alone.

  • Shoot me (unregistered)

    Ummm.... I don't get it

  • (cs) in reply to nitehawk
    nitehawk:
    If you guys stop responding to the troll, he will eventually give up and leave.

    capcha: ullamcorper... wtf?

    I'm usually against trolling but TopCod3r's skills are so masterful you can't help but chuckle. He inserts just the right amount of believability to snare everyone that doesn't recognize the name.

    The scariest part is each and every one of his posts has a corresponding article on this site where some clueless boss implemented the same policies for real!

  • (cs) in reply to Lurch
    Lurch:
    The summer before I went to grad school I worked for a small electronic manufacturer that had their own printed circuit facility. Nothing fancy, NC drill, plate-thru hole line (where I worked), etch line, and solder-dip tinning room.

    The guy that did the solder dipping looked like a member of ZZ Top (beard down to his waist). He had a 1 cubit foot refrigerator in his work room. He came into work smelling of beer, with a six-pack he put into the fridge. That was gone by lunch (which was spent in the local bar) during which he bought another six-pack for the afternoon. Another trip to the bar after work completed the day.

    How he kept from burning himself with the molten solder and the 900 degree oil I will never know.

    What? The typo police haven't jumped on "1 cubit foot" yet? "Which is it, 1 foot or 1 cubit?" Come on now, someone has to say something. Let's hear it!

  • Addison (unregistered) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    You can still fire people for incompetence, right? So document repeated specific failure to properly perform his job. Fire on that basis alone.

    That's what we do. Canadians don't do anything crazy like obey laws. We get the hell around them.

    (captcha: damnum- looked like daaaamn at first glance)

  • MeRp (unregistered) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    Sir Meowmix III:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    You must really pay great with all that overtime. If you expect someone to be working 24x7 and be at your beck and call you darn well better be paying them overtime. If you pulled this speech with me I'd pour you a nice glass of STFU from which you could freely quaff.

    Congratulations, you have been trolled.

    I like this meme much better than that stupid rick-rolling thing. This one doesn't involve lying to someone to trick them into doing something.. just pointing out when people fall for TopCod3r's amazing insights.

  • (cs) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    So where do you work? I want to remember not to apply there.

  • Brett (unregistered) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    You sound like a douche bag

  • (cs)

    This story reminds me of this girl I dated earlier this year. Didn't take me long to realize that she liked vodka quite a bit. Then after that, didn't take me long to realize that she had an addiction. Kind of became obvious when she would get out of bed, head downstairs to the fridge, and come back up with a glass filled with redbull & vodka. At 10am in the morning.

    Never thought in my life that I would be as happy as I was when I finally got out of that relationship.

  • (cs) in reply to Pax
    Pax:
    [in reply to TopCod3r]I hope you're trolling.
    YMBNH.
  • (cs) in reply to DMala
    DMala:
    TRWTF is that anybody drinks YooHoo. Ick.

    Fixed. I never could stand the stuff.

  • I walked the dinosaur (unregistered) in reply to Random832
    Random832:
    DMala:
    TRWTF is that anybody drinks YooHoo. Ick.

    Fixed. I never could stand the stuff.

    You probably forgot to shake it.

  • (cs) in reply to Sir Meowmix III
    Sir Meowmix III:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    You must really pay great with all that overtime. If you expect someone to be working 24x7 and be at your beck and call you darn well better be paying them overtime. If you pulled this speech with me I'd pour you a nice glass of STFU from which you could freely quaff.

    Geez-louise. Are you seriously that bad at spotting sarcasm?

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Daniel

    Most alcoholics are what they are because they have serious problems. This is a rather sad story. Cocaine, in the other hand: nice... I used to drink beer during work (planning and programming) sometimes, to boost myself a little, but my ever best ideas were the ones that came to my mind after acid trips :)

  • MeRp (unregistered) in reply to ContraCorners
    ContraCorners:
    Lurch:
    The summer before I went to grad school I worked for a small electronic manufacturer that had their own printed circuit facility. Nothing fancy, NC drill, plate-thru hole line (where I worked), etch line, and solder-dip tinning room.

    The guy that did the solder dipping looked like a member of ZZ Top (beard down to his waist). He had a 1 cubit foot refrigerator in his work room. He came into work smelling of beer, with a six-pack he put into the fridge. That was gone by lunch (which was spent in the local bar) during which he bought another six-pack for the afternoon. Another trip to the bar after work completed the day.

    How he kept from burning himself with the molten solder and the 900 degree oil I will never know.

    What? The typo police haven't jumped on "1 cubit foot" yet? "Which is it, 1 foot or 1 cubit?" Come on now, someone has to say something. Let's hear it!

    A cubit foot is a legitimate measure of area. One shape that would be a single cubit foot in area would be a rectangle that is a cubit long and a foot wide. Presumably the poster was assuming some standard height for this fridge.

    Perhaps next time you should consider the possibilities before you make a typo citizen's arrest.

  • peterb (unregistered) in reply to Lurch
    Lurch:
    He came into work smelling of beer, with a six-pack he put into the fridge. That was gone by lunch (which was spent in the local bar) during which he bought another six-pack for the afternoon. Another trip to the bar after work completed the day.

    How he kept from burning himself with the molten solder and the 900 degree oil I will never know.

    Hmm.... 4,1 l of beer, presumably at 5% - a typical male should be around 0,13%. While that's well above the allowed limit for driving in most jurisdictions that don't have a limit of zero, many people can function sufficiently well on this level, esp. when they do stuff they know inside out.

    's still not acceptable, of course.

  • (cs) in reply to MeRp
    MeRp:
    I like this meme much better than that stupid rick-rolling thing.
    You know what I hate? People who abuse and overuse the word "meme".

    ("you have been trolled" has been a staple of online culture since the glory days of Usenet. It's not a smegging meme.)

  • MeRp (unregistered) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    MeRp:
    I like this meme much better than that stupid rick-rolling thing.
    You know what I hate? People who abuse and overuse the word "meme".

    ("you have been trolled" has been a staple of online culture since the glory days of Usenet. It's not a smegging meme.)

    First: A meme consists of any idea or behavior that can pass from one person to another by learning or imitation.

    That certainly seems to apply to troll watching in general (which is usually more of a kind of public service) as well as TopC0d3r watching, which is a bit more of a spectator sport: very few people who recognize it as trolling actually seem to want it to stop.

    "You have been trolled" certainly has been a meme for a long time, however TopC0d3r troll watching is a new sport.

  • distilled (unregistered) in reply to peterb
    peterb:
    Hmm.... 4,1 l of beer, presumably at 5% - a typical male should be around 0,13%.
    Isn't that well within "Ballmer peak". I think I should try that sometimes
  • (cs) in reply to MeRp
    MeRp:
    ContraCorners:
    Lurch:
    The summer before I went to grad school I worked for a small electronic manufacturer that had their own printed circuit facility. Nothing fancy, NC drill, plate-thru hole line (where I worked), etch line, and solder-dip tinning room.

    The guy that did the solder dipping looked like a member of ZZ Top (beard down to his waist). He had a 1 cubit foot refrigerator in his work room. He came into work smelling of beer, with a six-pack he put into the fridge. That was gone by lunch (which was spent in the local bar) during which he bought another six-pack for the afternoon. Another trip to the bar after work completed the day.

    How he kept from burning himself with the molten solder and the 900 degree oil I will never know.

    What? The typo police haven't jumped on "1 cubit foot" yet? "Which is it, 1 foot or 1 cubit?" Come on now, someone has to say something. Let's hear it!

    A cubit foot is a legitimate measure of area. One shape that would be a single cubit foot in area would be a rectangle that is a cubit long and a foot wide. Presumably the poster was assuming some standard height for this fridge.

    Perhaps next time you should consider the possibilities before you make a typo citizen's arrest.

    Ok. But if you have a refrigerator that's two dimensional, you're going to have an awfully hard time keeping beer in it. Aren't you?

  • (cs) in reply to ContraCorners
    ContraCorners:
    Ok. But if you have a refrigerator that's two dimensional, you're going to have an awfully hard time keeping beer in it. Aren't you?

    It could be a cooling plate of some kind, and the drinks to be chilled sit on top of it.

  • (cs) in reply to Random832
    Random832:
    ContraCorners:
    Ok. But if you have a refrigerator that's two dimensional, you're going to have an awfully hard time keeping beer in it. Aren't you?

    It could be a cooling plate of some kind, and the drinks to be chilled sit on top of it.

    Now that's thinking "outside the box!!!"

  • jmzrbnsn (unregistered) in reply to RocketRick

    'ey' Irish, American 'y' Scottish!

  • Osno (unregistered)

    What amuses me is people falling for TC, after other people is already pointing out he's trolling.

    Keep it coming, TC! We love your posts. I tried your game yesterday, and I couldn't stop laughing while explaining it to my GF. It really is funny.

  • (cs) in reply to Zylon
    Zylon:
    The REAL WTF is.....

    ummmmm....

    errr....

    Hmm.

    Ha.. i was thinking the same thing.

    This story is a nice change of pace. It's one of the few "character pieces" that actually comes out pretty good. Not over-written, just a nice surprise ending.

  • (cs) in reply to Thunder
    Thunder:
    Valerion:
    Bottom line - Alcoholism is not a WTF. It's a disease.
    Eh? Sorry, dude, you've been falling for the AA claptrap. It's an addiction, and like all addictions it is ultimately a choice. Saying it's a disease implies that the 'victim' has no control over it - which is crap. Don't let anybody convince you otherwise.

    Lupus is a disease.

  • Some Girl (unregistered) in reply to DangerMouse9

    Turret's is a disease.

    Captcha: abbas SON OF A BITCH

  • Calli Arcale (unregistered) in reply to savar
    savar:
    This story is a nice change of pace. It's one of the few "character pieces" that actually comes out pretty good. Not over-written, just a nice surprise ending.

    I agree. It's a good story of one of the weird things that can happen in the workplace.

    It also highlights the problem of alcoholism. I'd just like to say that alcoholism, like all addictions, really is a disease. What distinguishes it from stuff like influenza is that it's a disease that starts with a choice, and which can end with a choice. It's not an easy choice to make (or at least, not as easy as it might seem), and those who make the choice to quit need all the emotional support they can get in sticking to that choice. I have tremendous respect for those who have beat their addictions. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of determination, and some brutal honesty with oneself. It's not easy, but it's well worth it.

  • m0ffx (unregistered)

    The trolled are themselves trolling. Everyone knows TopeCod3r lives in Saudi Arabia. So OF COURSE he has a drinking ban! He doesn't want his employees being arrested and pubicly whipped.

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    ... I used to drink beer during work (planning and programming) sometimes, to boost myself a little, but my ever best ideas were the ones that came to my mind after acid trips :)
    You worked for Microsoft, didn't you?
  • phleabo (unregistered) in reply to JamesQMurphy
    JamesQMurphy:
    he even asked if I was interested in "a little twelve-year-old" -- disgusting).

    Well, I mean, yeah I prefer them older, but 12 ain't bad. At least it's not a blend.

  • The Coffey Maker (unregistered)

    The EXACT same thing happened in my office. Except instead of root beer, it was meth. And instead of passing out & pissing in a plant he shot himself & lived. Then three months later he over dosed and got hit by a truck. So I guess it wasn't the exact same thing...

  • Some Girl (unregistered) in reply to Calli Arcale
    Calli Arcale:
    savar:
    This story is a nice change of pace. It's one of the few "character pieces" that actually comes out pretty good. Not over-written, just a nice surprise ending.

    I agree. It's a good story of one of the weird things that can happen in the workplace.

    It also highlights the problem of alcoholism. I'd just like to say that alcoholism, like all addictions, really is a disease. What distinguishes it from stuff like influenza is that it's a disease that starts with a choice, and which can end with a choice.

    Influenza is NOT a disease.

  • jbinaz (unregistered)

    Who needs to mix vodka with root beer when you can get sweet tea and vodka all in one? http://www.fireflyvodka.com/

    jbinaz

  • Coca Cola (unregistered) in reply to Daniel

    I say if coke-man gets his work done better/faster after having a noseful, it would've been better to just look the other way.

    No excuse for vodka, though... dead-weight and a liability for the company.

  • (cs) in reply to Some Girl
    Some Girl:
    Turret's is a disease.
    Is mis-spelling the name simply sick?
  • Robert') (unregistered)

    Alcoholic hides his booze in root beer bottles, gets caught drinking at work. OK, and the WTF is...?

  • Coca Cola (unregistered) in reply to Daniel
    Daniel:
    Yeah, I can't imagine root beer and vodka would be a good combination. It does make the "my only vice" comment make a lot more sense though.

    We had a web designer who we caught snorting cocaine in the office once, he didn't even lock his door. Being a small company, we had no HR department to report him to, so the owner just sort of grabbed him by the shirt and tossed him out the warehouse door.

    In response to this guy, btwt

  • mbm (unregistered)

    This is just really sad.

  • (cs) in reply to Lurch
    Lurch:
    The summer before I went to grad school I worked for a small electronic manufacturer that had their own printed circuit facility. Nothing fancy, NC drill, plate-thru hole line (where I worked), etch line, and solder-dip tinning room.

    The guy that did the solder dipping looked like a member of ZZ Top (beard down to his waist).

    Oh, come on now. Vodka and root beer at work I can believe. Snorting cocaine whilst leaving the office door open -- a generous gesture of the sort that's all too rare in our debased times.

    But solder dipping?

    I haven't tried it myself, but there's got to be a less painful way of getting a high.

  • WTF? (unregistered) in reply to The Coffey Maker
    The Coffey Maker:
    The EXACT same thing happened in my office. Except instead of root beer, it was meth.

    You mean he was covering his alcohol abuse with crystal meth? Well, that would work, I guess...

  • Shinobu (unregistered) in reply to themagni
    themagni:
    Before you come up with an answer, remember that there's no right answer to this problem.
    Yes there is. Get the law changed.
  • (cs)

    I haven't read all the comments but I have to say that while drinking at work isn't something I condone unless it is after hours and work sanctioned, it is evident to me that the guy was in a state that required help. Granted, that help needs to come after letting him go but clearly not something to be mocked or made fun of.

    Alcoholism isn't exactly a joke.

  • (cs) in reply to TopCod3r
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.
    Quite frankly, you have no right to dictate what people do on their off-hours. People may be on call 24x7 but until they pick up that phone they are on their time. Keep your nose out of your employees' business until it becomes a problem at work.
  • (cs) in reply to JamesQMurphy
    JamesQMurphy:
    Insaint:
    JamesQMurphy:
    (he even asked if I was interested in "a little twelve-year-old" -- disgusting).
    Scotch, I presume, rather than child. Much less disgusting that way, even though scotch isn't my thing.
    Yes, scotch -- but his pun was intentional. That was the disgusting part.

    There's nothing odd about asking if someone wants a little 12 year-old when talking about scotch. Something tells me it wasn't a pun and you just have no clue.

  • (cs) in reply to I walked the dinosaur
    I walked the dinosaur:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    We use a similar method. When someone hits a slow week and doesn't get as much quality development done in the same amount of time, we know that it is because they have been drinking.

    Yeah, it would have to be drinking wouldn't it. Couldn't possibly be anything but that.

  • (cs) in reply to Tryke
    Tryke:
    Crabs:
    By the way, being drunk at work makes the day go by so much quicker. At my last job they half encouraged us to go out and get beers at lunch. On fridays, beer was brought in to the office in the afternoon. I recommend it. Also, no cop will ever expect a drunk driver during the morning rush hour commute, so your safe so long as your not absolutely retarded.

    Wait, this sounds like the place I work at now! "Beer Friday"s are a frequent occurrence.

    At my last job, Beer Fridays are a weekly occurrence. As are the Post-Beer-Friday-Hotel-Bar-Pisser-With-The-CEO.

  • ChiefCrazyTalk (unregistered) in reply to I walked the dinosaur
    I walked the dinosaur:
    TopCod3r:
    That is a prime example of why on my development team, I have told everyone they are not allowed to drink. Because even if you drink while you are away from work, it could affect your code the next day. Also, on my team you are on call 24x7, so if you drink while you are away from work, you are still technically drinking on the job so to speak, which in my opinion is a fire-able offense. And when I recommend someone gets fired, I think my boss will listen to me.

    We use a similar method. When someone hits a slow week and doesn't get as much quality development done in the same amount of time, we know that it is because they have been drinking. Usually my bosses boss will then have a talk with them, unless it's the second offense, in which case they probably get reported to HR and summarily fired. We actively encourage for our developers to live whatever lifestyle they wish away from work, but when they start drinking and it has bad effects on their work habits (which 99% of the time it does), then action has to be taken.

    Our developers aren't on call 24 x 7 though. We at least trust them enough not to have to be able to check on them after work hours.

    This is absurd. What next, preventing people from having kids so they won't be taking time off when they get sick? Or from skiiing on the weekends, since they might break their leg? You can't control what people do in their personal lives.

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