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Admin
There are those of us who use QWERTZ, it's totally different.
Admin
I didn't realized Macs don't have "My Computer". I guess in that case, you would just need to open the the DOS prompt then...
Admin
I'm sad to say it but "Mr. Internet" and other similar stories always reminds me of the main newspaper where I live :(
Normally I don't read it but someone else in my house had bought it one day(don't ask me why - such a waste of $1) so I was going to read the scraps until I read the front page, I don't remember the exact title, but it was about the outrage over trolls on facebook memorial pages and the "vigilantes" that kept the pages safe.
I have never felt so alone as when I though to myself "don't feed the trolls".
Please don't point out that I may in fact be feeding the trolls.
Admin
I've been using:
[root@internet ~]# grep <my name> Internet | xargs rm -r
YMMV
Admin
And my best friend came in from out of town.
Admin
I like to use Terminal, which brings me to a bash shell.
(At least, I think it's bash. I know it was tcsh back in the days of OS X 10.2 "Jaguar", but I believe it's bash by default ever since 10.3 "Panther". See how Macs hide the details and make us users complacent... can't even recall what shell I've been using all these years.)
Admin
Gotta say it...
CLEAR is the most frustrating and unreliable garbage service in existence. Unstable, slow, and I need another word for unstable because one just doesn't capture it. I never understood the desire to physically destroy computer equipment until I encountered CLEAR and I've been in this industry (and frequently frustrated) since the late '80s.
So I'm not surprised at all by the third story.
Admin
Keep in mind that regardless of the marketing, you're still talking to an entry-level helpdesk person. Anyone who qualifies as a "seasoned nerd" is probably overqualified to work as a "Genius" (This isn't meant as a jab at anyone in particular - Dell hires customer service reps to man their tech support lines. Apparently it's more cost efficient to train friendly people to follow scripts than hire people who know about computers.)
Admin
Admin
Admin
I think the real WTF is that, when confronted with a keyboard that physically works, but consistently types the wrong things, an Apple Store "Genius" (or any tech for that matter) doesn't think to check the keyboard layout!
Admin
16.66667% different < totally different
Admin
We still know about keyboard layouts though. Having spent most of my life dealing with OSes that don't realise that "I live in the UK" probably means I want the UK version of the layout, the first thought that comes to mind when you press a button and something else appears is "oh, the layout's wrong again".
Admin
83.33333% of the time it works every time.
Admin
Help, I just clicked on my name and lost all my files!
Admin
Admin
Admin
Admin
It is 'dscacheutil -flushcache' for the Mac guy. I hope he reads it. :)
Admin
I'm surrounded by assholes!
Admin
Any way to do strike-through here? Maybe I should call my ISP's helpdesk.
Admin
You must live around Cupertino or Google can't identify your whereabouts. When I search 'Internet' on Google maps I get a bunch of local firms related to the internet.
CAPTCHA: modo - the estranged brother of that famous hobbit
Admin
Last I checked, the Internet was kept in Big Ben. Alas, the Council of Elders will not forward calls to it.
Admin
I have to agree with all the comments about the first story. If you didn't think of the keyboard layout within the first few lines (or first few keystrokes if you're actually working on the computer) then you need to reevaluate your computer knowledge.
Don't get me wrong, it doesn't surprise me that a Genius didn't know much about the computer, they are entry-level helpdesk, after all. I had a friend that hated macs with a passion and walked into a mac store and used the 'reverse screen colors' shortcut on a whole slew of the computers. He got kicked out and the Geniuses couldn't figure out how to get it back.
Admin
Admin
Dear Sir or Madam,
We are in receipt of your request to have your name removed from the tubes. This can be easily accomplished within 48 hours of receipt of the following information:
Your credit card number?
Expiration date?
Billing address?
Thank you, The Internet
Admin
Admin
Admin
Dear Sir or Madam,
Please click the filter.exe attachment to this email. After completing the upgrade procedure, you will no longer see your name on the Internet.
Thank you, Tech Support
Admin
REM <!-- /* REM # ' // Whenever I start typing on one of the school computers and gibberish comes out REM # ' // (different letters, diacritic marks, I've even seen Russian characters once), REM # ' // the first thing I think of is "which idiot switched the layout again?". REM */ -->
Admin
Dear Sir or Madam,
For those customers who do not have Windows, please connect to our Citrix server farm where you may obtain a temporary My Computer icon to help you complete the DNS refresh procedure.
Thank you, Tech Support
Admin
So, if I type the letter "A" on my Dvorak keyboard, why doesn't it just send an "A" down the wire to my computer?
Oh, I get it. My keyboard says "Hey Mr. Computer, he just pushed the key on row 4 column 2" and the keyboard driver looks it up (in the wrong table) and says "Oh, that must be an 'A'!"
Because, who knows, they might come out with "soft keyboards" (TM) someday with little LEDs in each key so you could remap your keyboard as often as you want (i.e. never) and the keyboard just wouldn't know which letter you pushed, so it has to send the position code. Makes perfect sense now.
Admin
Admin
While I understand that the "What's the phone number for the internet" is a classic ignorant to the point of stupid, this story about a guy calling the post office for God's address is by far my favorite WTF.
http://notalwaysright.com/its-also-a-one-way-trip/4559
Peace, James
Admin
Admin
You must not be the target audience of the Optimus Maximus keyboard then. ( http://www.artlebedev.com/everything/optimus/ )
Admin
Hey, if you can afford it: http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/keyboards-mice/9836/
No, this isn't spam.
Admin
Sure, it's funny, but how can any decent help desk let "Client not satisfied with resolution." be the end of the story? Next we'll be getting:
Client reported that Outlook crashed when he tried to send an email with an attachment. I told him to stop sucking at life and emailed him a picture of goatse just to show that I wasn't having that problem. Client not satisfied with resolution.
Admin
Admin
Admin
Shoot him?
Customer no longer complaining.
Admin
I had a walk-in customer, over 65 and over 200 pounds (though that doesn't prove anything, I guess) whose ISP at home was no longer accepting connections from his 300 Baud acoustic modem or something like that. We spent 20 minutes with me explaining that my management had assigned me to support the company owned computers in this building and he would have to contact his ISP, and him replying at ever increasing volume that I was not providing satisfactory customer service. Finally he went away.
...and came back to repeat the performance, about twice a week, for the next couple months.
So what do you do? Raise the issue to management? I did. They were quite consistent in their response. We don't support that. But I tried every way I knew to lodge that concept in said customer's brain, and I might as well have been speaking Plutonian.
Admin
s/has/have/…
Admin
Admin
Admin
I'm at work and youtube is blocked. I google searched "IT Crowd The Internet" and copied the link to the youtube results but couldn't verify. :(
Admin
You think that's rough? At least you're still typing in English. Try learning to type in another language with completely different characters. Heck, even try typing for layouts used in countries such as France. They even have French Dvorak. In the grand scheme of typing, the QWERTY vs. Dvorak debate seems like a huge waste of time.
Admin
I thought Al Gore was the Internet. He certainly welcomes calls.
Admin
Yea, not to forget the 'god old dos days' where you had to manually edit the autoexec.bat and config.sys file to select the correct keyboard layout.
Wich incidentlyt could be used for quite some fun if someone left a computer at a shop keyboard locked, but turned on with a keyboard there ('unlock keyboard and press F1 to resume' bios message) and you had a keyboard key with you (they were all identical). Then you could change the layout to something like finnish or german or similar, whrere most of the keys are at their correct place, but not all... Ahh great fun... :-) (that could also be done over the network if some jerk had shared his c-drive rw to the world..... gasp).
Yazeran
Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer
Admin
I usually find it's second. Off the top of my head from when I last reinstalled windows:
Come on! I've said I'm in the UK! Can't it guess the next two settings based on that?