• Ike (unregistered) in reply to Lorne Kates
    Lorne Kates:
    Last I checked, the Internet was kept in Big Ben. Alas, the Council of Elders will not forward calls to it.
    Ha! Everyone knows that the Internet is kept in Al Gore's basement. He likes to go down there to work on it sometimes. Also, he has to feed the manbearpig. I'm serial, he does!
  • Some Guy (unregistered) in reply to David
    David:
    I always enjoy it watching IT guys bash the only company / machine to successfully put UNIX on the desktop in front of millions of users ... AND make it look and function great.
    Well, while there are many things I'ld do to help users, inflicting UNIX on them didn't quite make the list.

    And the bits where they made it "look and function great" are the bits that aren't notably UNIX-y, and in fact consist entierly of keeping the end-user as far away from the interals of the OS as possible.

    Users like this, because they want to "do stuff" and don't want to "learn the subtle difference between the different types of symbolic links".

    Making it usable is geat. Using Unix instead of implementing their own new and innovative OS was probably a smart business decision. But of the many things that Apple did right, "putting UNIX on the desktop" is not the highlight.

  • (cs) in reply to BBT
    BBT:
    You can hardly blame the first guy. He's a mac user, so he's obviously computer illiterate and doesn't know what the setup steps mean.

    He was probably awestruck that his computer knew his name. Quite the "magical" device, indeed.

    Reminds me of when Mr. Burns shops for cereal, he sees Krusty with a box of Krusty-O’s and asks, “Can you tell me where they put the Burns-O’s?” When Krusty replies, “They don't put nobodies on cereal boxes!” Burns notices a Count Chocula cereal box and says, “Hmm. I suppose this one looks a bit like me.”

  • (cs) in reply to paulm
    paulm:
    Anonymous:
    Kemp:
    WhiskeyJack:
    Now that computers are so completely ubiquitous, and 99.99999% of them have QWERTY keyboards, it would be easy for a young'n to grow up never realizing that there was ever any other way.

    We still know about keyboard layouts though. Having spent most of my life dealing with OSes that don't realise that "I live in the UK" probably means I want the UK version of the layout, the first thought that comes to mind when you press a button and something else appears is "oh, the layout's wrong again".

    Another UK resident here and yes, you are completely right. First thing that needs to happen on any new installation is changing the keyboard layout from US to UK. Standard practice for all new setups.

    I usually find it's second. Off the top of my head from when I last reinstalled windows:

    1. Set location to UK
    2. Change keyboard to UK (can't it guess? I've already said I'm in the UK!)
    3. Timezone - London/GB - Hello! In the UK! I don't want my clock set to GMT-8!

    Come on! I've said I'm in the UK! Can't it guess the next two settings based on that?

    They do seem to have finally worked that one out - at least Windows 7 seemed to get everything right as soon as I told it I was in the UK.

  • Level 2 (unregistered) in reply to Yazeran
    Yazeran:
    Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer
    OK, i'll bite. What?! Googled it, couldn't find a reference except here.
  • taiki (unregistered)

    That last WTF hit home.

    I work for Clear. In a different department. There are other WTFs too. None of this is proprietary mind you, so, I really don't mind talking about it. We used to have an older network using proprietary-to-the-vendor wireless equipment dubbed "Expedience". We offer datacards that comes in two flavors. A standard PC Card, and an expresscard/52.

    Neither of which will work in a MacBook Pro, since it lacks a ExpressCard/52 slot or a PC card slot, and even if it fit, there aren't mac drivers available.

    (There are mac drivers available for the wimax network though.)

  • phreddy (unregistered) in reply to md5sum

    yeah - so am I

  • Mike (unregistered) in reply to SR
    SR:
    Mr Support:
    There are those of us who use QWERTZ, it's totally different.

    16.66667% different < totally different

    Even if there's only a 16.66667% difference, it is still different. different = different, therefore it's totally different.

  • (cs) in reply to Quirkafleeg
    Quirkafleeg:
    BBT:
    BTW, oblig IT Crowd:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRmxXp62O8g

    “This video contains content from Fremantle International, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.”

    s/has/have/…

    Hey! He may be a bit skitzophrenic, but that's no reason to start dissing. Sir Fremantle Agoraphobic Bestiality International is a good guy.

  • (cs) in reply to Someone You Know
    Someone You Know:

    I wonder, though, if it's any good or just expensive crap. You know, if it handles all key presses when you press all the keys down at the same time.

  • Zebedee (unregistered) in reply to Quirky
    Quirky:
    So, if I type the letter "A" on my Dvorak keyboard, why doesn't it just send an "A" down the wire to my computer?

    Oh, I get it. My keyboard says "Hey Mr. Computer, he just pushed the key on row 4 column 2" and the keyboard driver looks it up (in the wrong table) and says "Oh, that must be an 'A'!"

    Because, who knows, they might come out with "soft keyboards" (TM) someday with little LEDs in each key so you could remap your keyboard as often as you want (i.e. never) and the keyboard just wouldn't know which letter you pushed, so it has to send the position code. Makes perfect sense now.

    That reminds of a story from way back. An acquaintance of mine got a call from a lady complaining here keys weren't working properly. Upon investigation it turned out she had prised the keys off and rearranged them into alphabetical order.

  • rm -rf * (unregistered)

    This reminds me of this one time I tried typing my name in and...

  • (cs) in reply to Randy Snicker
    Randy Snicker:
    Warren:
    I tell you, it's not just my name that comes up on an internet search. I've had results for my home town, porn and thedailywtf.com. Please could you arrange for these to be removed from the internet. Thank you.
    Why do you want to remove porn, thedailywtf.com, and your home town from the internet?

    And what would be left if you did?

  • True Story (unregistered) in reply to Zebedee
    Zebedee:
    An acquaintance of mine got a call from a lady complaining here keys weren't working properly. Upon investigation it turned out she had prised the keys off and rearranged them into alphabetical order.
    Wouldn't you just love to have a recording of that call, to see how the tech finally pinned her down? Because you know she would never admit to doing that, since in the back of her mind she remembers that it stopped working right after she tinkered with it, but she doesn't want it to be her fault otherwise she might not get any help fixing it.
  • (cs) in reply to Ike
    Ike:
    Lorne Kates:
    Last I checked, the Internet was kept in Big Ben. Alas, the Council of Elders will not forward calls to it.
    Ha! Everyone knows that the Internet is kept in Al Gore's basement. He likes to go down there to work on it sometimes. Also, he has to feed the manbearpig. I'm serial, he does!

    You don't get good reception in a basement. It's all wireless now! It is easy to move - because of course the Internet doesn't weigh anything.

  • (cs) in reply to Quirky
    Quirky:
    Because, who knows, they might come out with "soft keyboards" (TM) someday with little LEDs in each key so you could remap your keyboard as often as you want (i.e. never) and the keyboard just wouldn't know which letter you pushed, so it has to send the position code. Makes perfect sense now.

    You mean like this: http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/9836/

  • Guest (unregistered)

    I always enjoy it watching IT guys bash the only company / machine to successfully put UNIX on the desktop in front of millions of users

    But it's not UNIX.. it's based off of BSD, close to UNIX but it's no SYS V.. it's a varient yes, just like AIX or BSDi, but not UNIX

  • (cs) in reply to Mike

    Actually, Dvorak is roughly 8% different than QWERTY if only letters are considered (A and M are in the same place). When I was learning Dvorak, I found having two letters from home to be quite helpful.

    I do find Dvorak to be quite ergonomical, but I don't recommend trying to learn it if you have a paper due any time soon :-)

  • GM (unregistered) in reply to PG4
    PG4:
    Bryan The K:
    For all future tech support jockeys out there, the phone call should have gone like this.

    Tech: Oh, your internet isn't working? Customer: No Tech: Ok - do the following steps Customer: Ok Tech: Now what I need you to do is reboot your computer and call me back if it doesn't work. Go outside for a smoke. The customer will get another tech and it's not your headache anymore

    Ahhhh. You must work for Oracle.

    Standard answer is issue some command your OS doesn't have, then call us back later.

    Could be Symantec.

    (captcha: transverbero - the process by which a noun becomes verbed)

  • Cheong (unregistered) in reply to WhiskeyJack
    WhiskeyJack:
    We can easily resolve Mr. James' problem with just a few simple additional steps:
    1. Purchase VMWare or Parallels, or use Boot Camp.
    2. Purchase a copy of Windows.
    3. Set up Windows partition on hard drive.
    4. Install Windows.
    5. Boot into Windows.
    6. Right click on "My Computer"....
    No. I bet the user should be fine on the fifth step, given what the instruction given basically is to reactivate the NIC.

    And there's a WTF spotted when Paul call technical support for a problem without stating the OS version first (be it WinXP, Vista or so)

  • Know it All (unregistered) in reply to Quirky

    @Quirky

    Actually, USB keyboards are supposed to (send letter codes), but they typically all use the same broken chip (i.e. an Intel part dedicated to US keyboard layout), and as all OSes have a keyboard mapper in software, no-one has ever been bothered by it.

    Intel could have made a keyboard chip which worked in multiple locales, but they have never been much for adaptability. Still using a derivative of a 1970 calculator chip I hear.

  • Weight of the Internet department (unregistered) in reply to Zemm
    Zemm:
    You don't get good reception in a basement. It's all wireless now! It is easy to move - because of course the Internet doesn't weigh anything.

    http://discovermagazine.com/2007/jun/how-much-does-the-internet-weigh/article_view?b_start:int=1

  • (cs)

    Ah, so you fixed it by simply selling him a new keyboard, to replace the one that doesn't match his system settings?

  • Lod (unregistered) in reply to Martin

    i call bullshit on the idea that mac tech support goons are geniuses

  • Mr.'; Drop Database -- (unregistered)

    I suspect that the confusion displayed by the Genius™ in the first story is an embellishment added to make the story more interesting.

  • Nick (unregistered)
    paul: I have a mac. paul: those directions are for a pc.
    This kind of thing pisses me off.

    PC stands for Personal Computer, if you personally own a computer, it's a PC regardless of the operating system.

  • Captain Banana (unregistered) in reply to Mr.'; Drop Database --

    I suspect that the confusion displayed by the Genius™ in the first story is an embellishment added to make the story more interesting.

    It didn't work.

  • ingenium (unregistered) in reply to Zebedee
    Zebedee:
    An acquaintance of mine got a call from a lady complaining here keys weren't working properly. Upon investigation it turned out she had prised the keys off and rearranged them into alphabetical order.
    Way back in the stone age when we still used DOS, a friend of mine changed the keymap to alphabetic order at school (using debug AFAICR). It was a devil to type with.
  • USitas = American nationalism syndrome (unregistered) in reply to Guest
    Guest:
    David:
    I always enjoy it watching IT guys bash the only company / machine to successfully put UNIX on the desktop in front of millions of users

    Don't be stupid. BSDs and Sun and SGI etc. have also done that. And they looked great, too.

    Guest:
    But it's not UNIX.. it's based off of BSD, close to UNIX but it's no SYS V.. it's a varient yes, just like AIX or BSDi, but not UNIX
    BSD is Unix, you burke!
  • (cs) in reply to Level 2
    Level 2:
    Yazeran:
    Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer
    OK, i'll bite. What?! Googled it, couldn't find a reference except here.
    Maybe this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Faction:_Guerrilla ?
  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Randy Snicker
    Randy Snicker:
    Someone You Know:

    I wonder, though, if it's any good or just expensive crap. You know, if it handles all key presses when you press all the keys down at the same time.

    That was the first thing that I wanted to know, too. I've been told that they do handle all keypresses which is great, but I've never seen the proof because those keyboards are something like $1500 and I've never one in a real shop.

  • Steve (unregistered) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    Randy Snicker:
    Someone You Know:

    I wonder, though, if it's any good or just expensive crap. You know, if it handles all key presses when you press all the keys down at the same time.

    That was the first thing that I wanted to know, too. I've been told that they do handle all keypresses which is great, but I've never seen the proof because those keyboards are something like $1500 and I've never one in a real shop.
    Everybody look down at your keyboard. Go on, do it right now. See all that crap? See all that festering waste between the keys? See all that dirt build-up that's beginning to obscure the letters? Nice, isn't it? Now imagine, if you will, that you paid $1500 for that keyboard. Herein lies the problem with expensive input devices. Input devices get utterly thrashed by our various personal hygene issues. There is no way I would spend $1500 on a device that is destined to be filled up with Nutella, tobacco and scum.

  • Jimmy Jones (unregistered)

    I thought Macs were supposed to "just work"...

    Yes, any geek's first though should have thought to check the layout but does anybody know why keyboards can't communicate their layout to the OS?

    As for the second one, I'd have given him the phone number for Network Solutions.

  • Jimmy Jones (unregistered)

    A smarter person would have sold him an expensive Dvorak keyboard - you can even plug it in to show him that it works properly.

  • Flaming Foobar (unregistered) in reply to rudraigh
    rudraigh:
    Ok ... I just had to. I typed Internet into Google Maps and the top result was ...

    http://maps.google.com/?q=The+Internet

    The Internet Café‎ Nieuwendijk 30 1012 ML Amsterdam Netherlands‎

    Your Google Maps must be broken.

  • Format C:\ (unregistered) in reply to rm -rf *
    rm -rf *:
    This reminds me of this one time I tried typing my name in and...

    I found typing my name in got so much easier after I ditched Windows.

  • NiceWTF (unregistered) in reply to Remy Porter
    Remy Porter:
    AndrewB:
    I use Dvorak. Seriously.

    Me too.

    Me three.

    The thing is that I never learned to properly touch-type using Qwerty, so even though I used all fingers, I was using the wrong ones all the time, jumping all over the keyboard. Unlearning such habits is pretty much impossible, but I found that if you have to start all over with a different layout anyway, it's much easier.

    It's silly, I know.

  • SR (unregistered) in reply to Mike
    Mike:
    SR:
    Mr Support:
    There are those of us who use QWERTZ, it's totally different.

    16.66667% different < totally different

    Even if there's only a 16.66667% difference, it is still different. different = different, therefore it's totally different.

    Credit where it's due - you split a fine hair, sir.

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Jimmy Jones
    Jimmy Jones:
    I thought Macs were supposed to "just work"...
    They do - this is actually some of the most honest advertising that Apple has ever used. Of course, you need to remember that "just" is a synonym for "barely" / "hardly".
  • Mischief (unregistered)

    The old "Reboot your computer and pray you get a smarter support tech next time you call" trick. Makes me tearful thinking about the good old AOL days.

  • PG4 (unregistered) in reply to GM
    GM:
    PG4:
    Bryan The K:
    For all future tech support jockeys out there, the phone call should have gone like this.

    Tech: Oh, your internet isn't working? Customer: No Tech: Ok - do the following steps Customer: Ok Tech: Now what I need you to do is reboot your computer and call me back if it doesn't work. Go outside for a smoke. The customer will get another tech and it's not your headache anymore

    Ahhhh. You must work for Oracle.

    Standard answer is issue some command your OS doesn't have, then call us back later.

    Could be Symantec.

    Well that was the next company that is making my life hell. Symantec Netbackup support's only response is....

    "Turn up the logging levels more, run your jobs and send us the logs and we will look at them."

    This goes on for days and weeks

  • (cs) in reply to Jimmy Jones
    Jimmy Jones:
    but does anybody know why keyboards can't communicate their layout to the OS?

    I for one am glad they don't. I live in a non-English country but touch-type on a US layout, and I want all control over the layout in one place, always. I don't want to have to think about changing the settings each time I plug in a non-us keyboard. And I want to switch layout as fast as I type - eg if I'm typing in the local language and want to use numbers (replaced by diacritics), or typing in English but want to use a diacritic. Besides - often people here who have a US-layout keyboard put non-US stickers on the keys (or the other way around).

    And now I think about it, my current keyboard has both US and local layouts marked on the keys. Which would it communicate?

  • (cs) in reply to Level 2
    Level 2:
    Yazeran:
    Plan: To go to Mars one day with a hammer
    OK, i'll bite. What?! Googled it, couldn't find a reference except here.

    Oh I'm just a geologist, what can I say?? ;-)

    Yazeran

  • (cs) in reply to Mike
    Mike:
    SR:
    Mr Support:
    There are those of us who use QWERTZ, it's totally different.

    16.66667% different < totally different

    Even if there's only a 16.66667% difference, it is still different. different = different, therefore it's totally different.

    I don't know about that. I'd interpret totally as 100%. Therefore 16.67% != 100%. In fact I'd go as far as to say totally different is an unobtainable state because any two things have some similarity. Even if the only similarity is that they are both things, i.e. they both are derived from Object.

  • pordzio (unregistered)

    @ Mr. James story: you could have used google's DNS: 8.8.8.8 and 8.8.4.4

  • (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    Can someone plz give me the number for the internet so I can have all my stupid comments removed? Thx.

    Check the "Contact US"-page at internet.com

  • tom (unregistered) in reply to Bryan The K

    Isn't that exactly how they all do their job?

  • Paul (unregistered) in reply to Quirky
    Quirky:
    My keyboard says "Hey Mr. Computer, he just pushed the key on row 4 column 2" and the keyboard driver looks it up (in the wrong table) and says "Oh, that must be an 'A'!"

    Because, who knows, they might come out with "soft keyboards" (TM) someday with little LEDs in each key so you could remap your keyboard as often as you want (i.e. never) and the keyboard just wouldn't know which letter you pushed, so it has to send the position code. Makes perfect sense now.

    Actually, it would make much more sense if the keyboard sent the letter code. That way, you wouldn't get keyboard mapping issues at all. They would just be told at manufacture time what the mapping was.

    A 'soft keyboard' would surely know that the letter 'A' was being displayed on the 5th row 7th column key, so it would send the letter 'A' when you press it.

    (It wouldn't solve the problem of people swapping keys themselves, but is that a legitimate problem to try to solve?)

    It's not like there's not a CPU in your keyboard anyway, so why not use it to send the real data?

  • David (unregistered) in reply to Some Guy
    Some Guy:
    Well, while there are many things I'ld do to help users, inflicting UNIX on them didn't quite make the list.

    And the bits where they made it "look and function great" are the bits that aren't notably UNIX-y, and in fact consist entierly of keeping the end-user as far away from the interals of the OS as possible.

    Users like this, because they want to "do stuff" and don't want to "learn the subtle difference between the different types of symbolic links".

    Making it usable is geat. Using Unix instead of implementing their own new and innovative OS was probably a smart business decision. But of the many things that Apple did right, "putting UNIX on the desktop" is not the highlight.

    So you're arguing that because it doesn't require the user to learn a command prompt it isn't UNIX? In fact, you seem to be offended that they used UNIX as the base for their interface.

    I think you've proven my point.

  • David (unregistered) in reply to USitas = American nationalism syndrome
    USitas = American nationalism syndrome:

    Don't be stupid. BSDs and Sun and SGI etc. have also done that. And they looked great, too.

    Valid point, but those are niche / specialty devices which were never intended to reach a mass audience (and haven't). Apple on the other hand developed a machine that your grandmother can turn on and use out of the box (as long as her name isn't Devorak at least). Then they sold millions of them to people at all levels of computer skill in a vast array of industries.

    Now that's impressive!

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