• Milkshake (unregistered)

    During my internship, I sat on a 5-gallon paint bucket in a warehouse. My keyboard and monitor were sitting on the cardboard box from the monitor. At 6'4", the sight had to be comical. Given the insignificant amount of measurable work I was assigned, I would have gladly traded my working keyboard for a normal desk in an area where I wasn't getting the lungs of a 70-year-old coal miner. At the time, I would have settled for a larger box.

  • (cs) in reply to Grovesy
    Grovesy:
    lizardfoot:

    You were LUCKY! In my last contract, we sat in a cardboard box in the middle of a freeway, we were forced to work 23 hours a day, given nothing but mud to eat for lunch and beaten with sticks every time a bug was found in the code.

    pshh 23hours days!, we had to invent a time slowing machine so we could work 28hours. We were beaten with sticks if we stopped typing, nutrients were fed to us via a drip with a rusty needle and we had to wear giant nappies.

    Pshh... at my last job I had to write and compile code in my head, riding on a skateboard in the middle of the freeway while juggling live grenades and being chased by rabid bulldogs.

  • (cs)

    Nothing THAT drastic but my first internship we had big flickering CRTs many of which were failing, and shaking. Fortunately mine was working well at low resolutions. Other interns had screens shaking so much I would get a headake everytime I looked at them.

    The desks were literally just big enough to hold the CRT and a keyboard so my hands were always hanging off the desk. After a few weeks I was physically exhausted just holding my hands up.

    After a promotion I was given a laptop with "budget ram" which broke every couple of months.

    The budget was tight so that we usually just used the display on the laptop (1400x1200 resolution on a 12 inch monitor) so I was always hunched over trying to see what letters were there. Finally I was given a 14 inch monitor with 1280x1024 resolution with a few dead pixels. I was very happy that I finally could see the code I was writing.

    To add to dramatic effect, when someone left who had a monitor we would have a big raffle over that monitor :P So people leaving were happy occasions.

    Also the comp was nice and slow to ensure that I was extra productive.

  • Michael (unregistered) in reply to Grovesy
    Grovesy:
    pshh 23hours days!, we had to invent a time slowing machine so we could work 28hours. We were beaten with sticks if we stopped typing, nutrients were fed to us via a drip with a rusty needle and we had to wear giant nappies.
    You had a time slowing machine? We were forced to run west-ward to different time-zones to work 28 hours!
  • Izzy (unregistered)

    He could have coded 1-1 instead of 3-3 and saved a valuable "1" bit.

  • (cs) in reply to suzilou
    suzilou:
    If any of you've watched Kitchen Nightmares, you'll see Gordon Ramsay having a cow about the same things - restaurant owners (especially if they're the cook) hoping to get their little nest egg without investing in the upkeep of the business or caring about the customers. Invariably it doesn't work - hence GR spends a week shouting expletives to get them give a d@*n.

    That's what we need for IT, a loudmouth who knows his shit like Gordon Ramsay to help fix up cheapskate/idiot companies' IT Departments.

    <GordonRamsayImpression> Throws a disc at a server It's GAHBAGE!</GordonRamsayImpression>

  • John Doe (unregistered)

    Here is a handy code "template" for all of you who are working on a small budget:

    !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~
  • (cs) in reply to jgayhart
    jgayhart:
    Watch Thine Fingers:
    How did the original dev type the close bracket if he couldn't type a zero?

    Maybe the Shift key(s) was sticking? Of course he would have to type most everything with the Caps Lock on. And, he would have problems with the equals sign.

    Maybe he was could type Alt+041? Of course, that would assume he had a working numeric key pad.

    Sometimes when my keyboard dies, I have to use my mouse to copy and paste characters to save my documents before restarting.

    But if he had a working keypad and can type Alt+041, then he would have also had a working zero key.

  • Josh (unregistered)

    The developer that left should have just opened charmap (or created a text file with all the necessary characters and kept it open), and used the mouse to copy a single character and paste into his code whenever necessary. He was obviously very lazy.

  • Southern (unregistered) in reply to Hinek
    Hinek:
    yes, but on a german keyboard the equals-sign is above the zero. So it wasn't on a german one either (the "==") ...

    Neither on a spanish one ..!

  • VP (unregistered)

    Maybe, just maybe he wasn't american... ) is shift+9 here...

  • (cs)

    #define O 0

  • Cloak (unregistered) in reply to Watch Thine Fingers
    Watch Thine Fingers:
    How did the original dev type the close bracket if he couldn't type a zero?

    On an AZERTY keyboard you have 0 and à on one key and ° and ) on another.

  • s. (unregistered) in reply to ThePants999
    ThePants999:
    Alt+numeric keypad, copy-pasting, Character Map, On-Screen Keyboard, MS Word -> "Insert Symbol" + copy-paste... plenty of options, but personally I'd probably just buy myself a new keyboard.

    Sorry but you're not authorised to modify the hardware configuration without the management approval.

  • s. (unregistered) in reply to Izzy

    "1" and "2" were broken too.

  • Umberto (unregistered) in reply to jgayhart

    Maybe the company had non English keyboard?

  • (cs) in reply to John Doe
    John Doe:
    Here is a handy code "template" for all of you who are working on a small budget: 
    !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~

    Thanks.but.it's.my.spacebar.that's.broken...

  • (cs) in reply to Vince
    Vince:
    Of course, he could have used Character Map or even just spent $5 of his own money on a working but basic keyboard in order to make his life that little bit easier.

    Of course, if your company refuses to replace a broken keyboard for you, I can easily see saying "screw it", and just giving them what they pay for. They won't spend $5 on a keyboard, so they get code littered with this crap.

    If the boss complains about reduced productivity, you can just point to his as an example of the hoops you're forced to jump through.

  • (cs) in reply to s.
    s.:
    ThePants999:
    Alt+numeric keypad, copy-pasting, Character Map, On-Screen Keyboard, MS Word -> "Insert Symbol" + copy-paste... plenty of options, but personally I'd probably just buy myself a new keyboard.

    Sorry but you're not authorised to modify the hardware configuration without the management approval.

    I suspect the company can't afford to keep enough of an eye on things to even spot such a modification...

  • derula (unregistered) in reply to John Doe
    John Doe:
    Here is a handy code "template" for all of you who are working on a small budget: 
    !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~

    What if Ctrl key and right mouse button are broken? How would someone copy it then? (Of course, he would also have an old keyboard without the context menu key.)

  • (cs)

    Have you considered the possibility that the 3 and - key were the only working keys? The guy probably copied and pasted everything else and was relieved to use a shortcut for this one...

  • (cs) in reply to mallard
    mallard:
    Watch Thine Fingers:
    How did the original dev type the close bracket if he couldn't type a zero?

    The real WTF(tm) is that he managed to type "if", yet has to type "ov" instead of "of".

    Couple of points:

    1. There is a Zero key on the number pad.
    2. If both are broken, how can he use )? Thats a shift-zero.
    3. What if he had to divide by 10? x/13-3? That requires a parenthesis. It just does not make any sense!
  • (cs) in reply to derula
    derula:
    John Doe:
    Here is a handy code "template" for all of you who are working on a small budget: 
    !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~

    What if Ctrl key and right mouse button are broken? How would someone copy it then? (Of course, he would also have an old keyboard without the context menu key.)

    By clicking the Edit menu?

  • (cs) in reply to Watch Thine Fingers
    Watch Thine Fingers:
    How did the original dev type the close bracket if he couldn't type a zero?

    Maybe he was trying to type (2-2), but the 2 was broken....

  • Enrique (unregistered) in reply to John Doe

    I would use the template but the key between C and B doesn't work...

  • Cloak (unregistered) in reply to Hognoxious
    Hognoxious:
    kasn:
    @Watch Thine Fingers && JaeRae:

    not on every keyboard layout the closing brace is on shift+0. On german for example ist shift + 9

    On a frogboard it's sh + degree sign. The opening one is sh + 5, for some reason.

    On AZERTY sh + degree sign = degree sign, shift + 9 = 9 Do you always leave CAPSLOCK on?

    If life was a camera I would always have the lens cap on (Charlie Brown)

  • greywar (unregistered)

    my second programming job was at a small office. The owners had regular screaming matches.

    My "office" was....the girls bathroom.

    I am a guy.

  • (cs) in reply to Koesper
    Koesper:
    on my last job we didnt have a coffee machine!!!!
    YE FLIPPIN' GODS!!! How did you survive?
  • Merl (unregistered) in reply to John Doe

    The template is very helpful indeed. I think if I were in this position, I might just type whatever text I needed on my iPod touch and then email it to myself. Provided the email client could be 100% mouse driven, it seems possible to copy and paste everything where it needed to go.

    'course, that assumes the presence of email. Sounds expensive...

    Anyone know of a floppy drive that'll work with my iPod?

  • Merl (unregistered) in reply to greywar
    greywar:
    my second programming job was at a small office. The owners had regular screaming matches.

    My "office" was....the girls bathroom.

    I am a guy.

    Whoa there, champ ... are you COMPLETELY CERTAIN you had permission to ... erm ... work in the ladies room?

    :-)

  • thanks! (unregistered) in reply to John Doe

    !"#$%&'()+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[]^_abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[]^_abcdefghijklmnopqr<span style="color:red;"><b>s</b></span>tuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~

    !"#$%&'()+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[]^_abcdefghijklmnopqrstuv<span style="color:red;"><b>w</b></span>xyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[]^_<span style="color:red;"><b>a</b></span>bcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~

    !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~

    !"#$%&'()+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[]^_abcdefghijklm<span style="color:red;"><b>n</b></span>opqrstuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[]^abcd<span style="color:red;"><b>e</b></span>fghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[]^abcd<span style="color:red;"><b>e</b></span>fghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~ !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~

  • whomever (unregistered) in reply to rawsteak
    rawsteak:
    this is why i've been trying to convince my job to get me an optimus keyboard

    http://www.artlebedev.com/everything/optimus/

    anyone can pirate ms office software, but this keyboard? I, um, uh, .... drool

    Now, if I only could get this keyboard with the same shape as my MS Natural Ergonomic 4000...

  • Baughn (unregistered)

    To answer your questions:

    a) No, I got permission to use my own laptop, and the job took literally four hours. I wouldn't have worked there for all the thorium in the mountains.

    b) The entire thing happened in norway. They used norwegian keyboards. ) is on shift-9.

    c) I wrote the line from memory; it was very hard to forget, but the "ov" is my own typo.

    d) The keyboards the company was using didn't have numeric keypads.

  • Baughn (unregistered)

    Although, come to think of it, = is on shift-0. No idea what happened there... copy and paste is an option. So is keyboard remapping; with some keys missing, it makes sense to sacrifice ones you don't use often, which likely doesn't include 0.

    I didn't get to ask.

  • Corey (unregistered)

    It's even more WTF that he could type ) but not 0 ?

    hrm

    CAPTCHA: luctus

  • (cs)

    Wow, I feel spoiled. At my company when I requested a dual-monitor upgrade, they gave me a video card with one DVI and one VGA output. Then they took a $5 DVI-to-VGA adaptor and drove both LCD's with VGA cables.

    I went to the local computer store and spent $10 of my own money on a DVI cable so I could run at least my primary monitor off DVI.

    Both monitors are Dell 19" LCDs but from different series, and one sits higher than the other. Otherwise, no complaints...

  • (cs) in reply to SuperousOxide
    SuperousOxide:
    Vince:
    Of course, he could have used Character Map or even just spent $5 of his own money on a working but basic keyboard in order to make his life that little bit easier.

    Of course, if your company refuses to replace a broken keyboard for you, I can easily see saying "screw it", and just giving them what they pay for. They won't spend $5 on a keyboard, so they get code littered with this crap.

    Exactly. I'm not against paying for something a bit extra (I bought a MS Natural keyboard for both home and office) if the company is being reasonable, but I wouldn't in this case just on principle.

  • (cs)

    My current setup is in a shop. Right next to me is a huge CNC machine. There's also a lathe, a welder, and other shop gear. I routinely cut my hands (there's blood on them right now) when fixing up the shop equipment.

    Oh, it's basically in a garage, so it's freakin' cold in the mornings. I literally can't turn around right now because there's welding going on behind me.

    There is no washroom. There is a port-a-potty outside.

    Still, I'm respected, I get paid well, and it's really close to my house.

    Addendum (2008-01-30 13:22): Ah, yes, there's a fridge and a microwave. I bring in a thermos from home to get hot drinks.

    The computer I'm using has a 17" LCD monitor. I do have a nice chair, but that's because we went down to the auction and bought one.

    Oh, when the CNC machine is on, the cement floor gets covered with lubricant - it's dangerously slippery.

    Wow, it's really hard to work with the welding going on.

  • Paul (unregistered)

    My first job after finishing my PhD (mid 90s) was a two year contract writing chip simulation software in a university research centre in Germany ... at 2x the salary I would have got as a post-doc in any other country, brand new building, ergonomic furniture, state of the art testing equipment and chip fabrication plant.

    And for me, an original 12 year old IBM AT. At least it wasn't an XT. And the keyboard worked.

    When I asked for a new PC the prof said (imagine this said in German) there was no point since I was going to be gone in two years. And I was only using it as a terminal to the Unix server anyway. And email. And for writing papers, but we used LaTeX for that so didn't need anything bloated like Word.

    I was a little peeved when he came in with a new laptop, but I ended up buying and using my own PC since I was so (compared to my student years) flush with cash.

    I didn't stay in academia for long, when I realised I could earn even more than 2x a typical post-doc's salary in the real world.

  • captcha: (unregistered)
    Pete:
    Start, Programs, Accessories, Accessibility, On-Screen Keyboard.
    Better: File, Save, File, Exit, Start, Turn off Computer, Shut Down, replace keyboard.
    Koesper:
    on my last job we didnt have a coffee machine!!!!
    That's inhumane!
  • Steve H. (unregistered)

    Reminds me of back in college when one of my friends spilled beer on his keyboard and the '7' key didn't work. Not being able to type in '7' wasn't that big a deal, but he had a bitch of a time finishing his C program without '&'

    He ultimately did copy and paste everytime he needed it.

  • Chandler (unregistered) in reply to jgayhart

    My laptop's 'y' key doesn't work unless the system has been on for at least 5 minutes and had a chance to warm up. Even after warming up you have to hold that key for a little while and wiggle it around to make it work.

  • (cs) in reply to Koesper
    Grovesy:
    lizardfoot:
    Grovesy:
    This contract, I am perched on the of a desk, yesterday I ended up in the canteen for the day and Monday I actually at one point sat on the floor with the laptop on my knees. A mere three das in I have yet to meet the project manager or the team I’m leading... I believe they are around somewhere.

    At this rate I think I'm for the fore mentioned office next

    Addendum (2008-01-30 08:46): evidently, reading that back with all those types I have lost the ability to type.

    You were LUCKY! In my last contract, we sat in a cardboard box in the middle of a freeway, we were forced to work 23 hours a day, given nothing but mud to eat for lunch and beaten with sticks every time a bug was found in the code.

    pshh 23hours days!, we had to invent a time slowing machine so we could work 28hours. We were beaten with sticks if we stopped typing, nutrients were fed to us via a drip with a rusty needle and we had to wear giant nappies.

    We only dreamed of having a time machine!

    The last place I worked was at the bottom of a lake! We had to wake up at 6pm, 12 hours before we went to bed, clean the lake, share a cardboard box for breakfast between 43 people, walk 26 miles to work in the freezing snow, work 36 hours programming, be flogged to death while we typed and when we died at the end of each day, management would go about and dance upon our graves.

    But you tell the programming students of that today, and they won't believe you.

  • G (unregistered)

    He could press shift-0 for '=', but not 0 for '0'... Now, 'f' and 'v' could easily be mistyped, but the real gem of this article must be a fake, or the "maintainer" was way past WTF

  • Aran (unregistered) in reply to jgayhart
    Watch Thine Fingers:
    How did the original dev type the close bracket if he couldn't type a zero?

    He switched the keyboard layout when he got to the close bracket, and typed Shivt-9. He had to do that avter getting the == done, ov course, since those would have required a Shivt-zero. What didn't change with the keyboard layout were the positions of zero and the character pronounced 'eph', so it didn't help there. :P

    (Scarily, I think I may be on the right track there... it makes sense somehow.)

  • (cs) in reply to G
    G:
    He could press shift-0 for '=', but not 0 for '0'... Now, 'f' and 'v' could easily be mistyped, but the real gem of this article must be a fake, or the "maintainer" was way past WTF
    RTFThread:

    "b) The entire thing happened in norway. They used norwegian keyboards. ) is on shift-9. [See here]

    "c) I wrote the line from memory; it was very hard to forget, but the "ov" is my own typo.

    "d) The keyboards the company was using didn't have numeric keypads."

  • AdT (unregistered) in reply to John Doe
    John Doe:
    Here is a handy code "template" for all of you who are working on a small budget: 
    !"#$%&'()*+,-./0123456789:;<=>?@ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ[\]^_`abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz{|}~

    Thanks a lot, wiserak, now would you please tell me how I an opy and paste the haraters?

  • James (unregistered) in reply to mallard
    mallard:
    Watch Thine Fingers:
    How did the original dev type the close bracket if he couldn't type a zero?

    The real WTF(tm) is that he managed to type "if", yet has to type "ov" instead of "of".

    I assume he found it elsewhere in the code and copy-pasted. Maybe he couldn't find a 0?

  • Budget (unregistered) in reply to jgayhart
    Watch Thine Fingers:
    How did the original dev type the close bracket if he couldn't type a zero?
    I'd say he was not using a US keyboard layout. Many of the others have the bracket elsewhere, e.g. shifted one position to the left on 8 and 9.
  • Colin (unregistered) in reply to mallard
    mallard:
    The real WTF(tm) is that he managed to type "if", yet has to type "ov" instead of "of".
    He was probably adept at Ctrl-C / Ctrl-V

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