• EJ_ (cs)

    Haha, dildo

  • Nagesh Kukunoor (unregistered)

    In Hyderabad we also use rubber yardstick during coffee break. I have 4 coffee per day with my manager and we use rubber yardstick lberally during these meetings. This is not WTF, this is normal business day.

  • Nagesh (cs)

    I fail to get the WTF.

  • Aaaaaaa (unregistered)

    I guess it really was a "long, hard" move...

  • Nagesh (cs) in reply to Nagesh Kukunoor
    Nagesh Kukunoor:
    In Hyderabad we also use rubber yardstick during coffee break. I have 4 coffee per day with my manager and we use rubber yardstick lberally during these meetings. This is not WTF, this is normal business day.

    Stop lying bozo.

  • webrunner (cs) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    I fail to get the WTF.

    I can't vouch for the "WT" but where the "F" comes in should be fairly clear.

  • Nagesh (cs) in reply to webrunner
    webrunner:
    Nagesh:
    I fail to get the WTF.

    I can't vouch for the "WT" but where the "F" comes in should be fairly clear.

    Perhaps my cultural ignorance is prventing me from getting the joke.

  • anonymous coward (unregistered)

    I'm 12, and what's this all about?

  • Nagesh (cs) in reply to EJ_
    EJ_:
    Haha, dildo

    Dil = heart in hindi do = give.

    Dil do translate to "give your heart" as in "shower your affection"

  • frits (cs)

    Is this article using some sort of rhyming slang? Because we septics don't understand that crap.

  • Remy Porter (cs) in reply to Nagesh

    Well, what do you know- according to Google translate, "give your heart" translates (phonetically) to: Apanē dila dē. So, bonus points.

  • by (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    EJ_:
    Haha, dildo

    Dil = heart in hindi do = give.

    Dil do translate to "give your heart" as in "shower your affection"

    ... or sea-men...

  • cynical cynic (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    webrunner:
    I can't vouch for the "WT" but where the "F" comes in should be fairly clear.

    Perhaps my cultural ignorance is prventing me from getting the joke.

    You know what the "F" in "WTF" stands for? And if you're older then 12, you should have guessed by now what Derek used his inflateable hotdog stand for.

  • Dirk D (unregistered)

    I'm not convinced this perversion in IT is a curious one…

  • showertime (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    "shower your affection"
    heh
  • Calvin (unregistered)

    Belgium!

    (not spam, not even close, just an H2G2 reference for the creative redactions. now, mr filter, can I post?)

  • Severus (unregistered)

    I had to look up "turkey baster". And I realized that the uncensored version would have been much easier to read. Thanks, internet!

  • My Name Is Missing (unregistered)

    This story was full of "heavy guage gauge".

  • don (cs)

    So...What does this have to do with Information Technology? Is it because it's an exercise in slipping past the filters?

  • Philipp (unregistered)

    When I would find some dirty stuff in the desk of a colleague I would just quietly tell him that he should better remove it. Telling the whole company about this before telling him is kind of a dick move.

  • Matthew (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    Dil do translate to "give your heart" as in "shower your affection"
    Yes, I suppose that might be involved as well.
  • no2trolls (unregistered)

    He had it locked away, in a bag, in his desk. Why would any company have a policy about that? Not a WTF. Amusing anecdote perhaps but that's about it.

  • Christopher (unregistered)

    Well, a short and somewhat funny read. Hardly a WTF. Although it does meet the perversion part of the catchphrase.

    Although, you didn't even make a play on the name of the business. :(

    Captcha: damnum. Damn. Um? Where teh wtf?

  • trwtf (unregistered) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    When I would find some dirty stuff in the desk of a colleague I would just quietly tell him that he should better remove it. Telling the whole company about this before telling him is kind of a dick move.
    I sense the disillusionment of familiarity. I'm guessing you've been caught out once or twice yourself.
  • TarquinWJ (cs) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    When I would find some dirty stuff in the desk of a colleague I would just quietly tell him that he should better remove it.
    And then there are places where such items would almost certainly be displayed around the office just for fun. Perhaps hanging on strings from the ceiling. Pretty sure I know a place just like that...

    Definitely, telling any management was just lame. Got to like working in a place where the management would probably just look at it, and quietly laugh at to the person who works at the desk, then walk on by.

  • Joey Stink Eye Smiles (unregistered)

    TRWTF is that these geniuses didn't call Derek to open his fucking desk.

  • OzPeter (cs)

    Given that Derek was still a current employee during the move, the WTF is that the IT people were breaking open his desk - they should have called him and said "The draw to your old desk is locked. Is there anything in it that you want". As they did not do that, Derek should have complained to HR about his personal belongings being touched without his permission.

  • Kef Schecter (unregistered) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    Telling the whole company about this before telling him is kind of a dick move.
    Doesn't the company have a right to know? The rulebooks say "Do not do this." Not "don't do this, but if a coworker catches you before your boss does, it's OK."
  • JamesQMurphy (cs) in reply to OzPeter
    OzPeter:
    Given that Derek was still a current employee during the move, the WTF is that the IT people were breaking open his desk - they should have called him and said "The draw to your old desk is locked. Is there anything in it that you want". As they did not do that, Derek should have complained to HR about his personal belongings being touched without his permission.
    Clearly, Derek wanted to be caught. Given that the ol' dildo-in-a-bag trick didn't work, he resorted to a more direct, download-lots-of-porn move. I'm surprised he just didn't coat his entire office in petroleum jelly.
  • Kensey (cs)

    At a long-ago job with an online game company (now defunct), we had a small group that handled sound effects. For one game they needed the sound of splashing liquid. They tried just recording somebody splashing a hand in a pan of water in one of the audio-equipped conference rooms with the good microphones. Nope, not quite right -- the mic didn't pick it up well. So they tried covering the mic in an unlubed prophylactic and swishing it directly in the water. Nope, still too "thin"-sounding. So they got hold of a couple quarts of motor oil and put that in the pan, then swished the covered mic in it. That was just right.

    What with all the brainstorming and swishing and trips to the store, it was late, so they figured they'd just leave the stuff there and clean it up next AM. The next morning they arrived, dutifully headed to the conference room... and saw the executive team in the middle of an early-morning videoconference meeting with the handlers from the parent company, everyone studiously not looking at the pan or the rubber-covered, oil-coated microphone in the middle of the table.

    The CEO had a great many questions for them after the meeting.

  • mike (unregistered)

    please don't butcher the articles in the future.

    that was simply stupid.

    folks can read this after work if necessary.

    don't penalize the rest of us.

  • Mikoangelo (unregistered)

    I believe you meant:

    After spending fifteen minutes in the restroom,
    washing his hands
    , Alistair called Derek's manager, Isabelle.
  • nico (unregistered)

    god bless america, land of freedom...

  • Nikonoel (unregistered) in reply to mike

    Also, it makes it even harder to understand for non native english speakers. And less funny, even once I understood what it was all about.

  • Mike D. (unregistered)
    Comment held for moderation.
  • OzPeter (cs) in reply to JamesQMurphy
    JamesQMurphy:
    OzPeter:
    Derek should have complained to HR about his personal belongings being touched without his permission.
    Clearly, Derek wanted to be caught. Given that the ol' dildo-in-a-bag trick didn't work, he resorted to a more direct, download-lots-of-porn move. I'm surprised he just didn't coat his entire office in petroleum jelly.
    There is a difference between the personal items that I keep in my desk drawer and using the company infrastructure to download porn. The former has nothing to do with the company but the latter does.
  • trwtf (unregistered) in reply to mike
    mike:
    please don't butcher the articles in the future.

    that was simply stupid.

    folks can read this after work if necessary.

    don't penalize the rest of us.

    Jesus Christ, it was part of the joke! Why the hell do people turn into morons as soon as they touch a computer? Are you foreign or just really slow?

  • trwtf (unregistered) in reply to Nikonoel
    Nikonoel:
    Also, it makes it even harder to understand for non native english speakers. And less funny, even once I understood what it was all about.
    Like we really give a shit here in America...
  • tagno25 (unregistered) in reply to Severus

    DO NOT click on "turkey baster", it is NSFW and possibly NSFL

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to trwtf
    trwtf:
    mike:
    please don't butcher the articles in the future.

    that was simply stupid.

    folks can read this after work if necessary.

    don't penalize the rest of us.

    Jesus Christ, it was part of the joke! Why the hell do people turn into morons as soon as they touch a computer? Are you foreign or just really slow?
    Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap!

  • MBV (unregistered)

    Guess someone misread an article about Rubber Duck Debugging...

  • Naranek (unregistered)

    You would probably get a lot more hits from google if you hadn't edited out the nasty words...

    Captcha: dolor, edited from color?

  • FIA (unregistered)

    "Kryten, unpack Rachel and bring out the puncture repair kit."

  • DOA (cs) in reply to Kensey
    Kensey:
    the executive team in the middle of an early-morning videoconference meeting with the handlers from the parent company, everyone studiously not looking at the pan or the rubber-covered, oil-coated microphone in the middle of the table.
    That image was more entertaining than the last week of front page articles combined
  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    EJ_:
    Haha, dildo

    Dil = heart in hindi do = give.

    Dil do translate to "give your heart" as in "shower your affection"

    I'm going to dildo the shit out my girlfriend tonight. I just wish I could also dildo all my good friends here on TDWTF. Friends, if it's any consolation I am mentally dildoing you all right now. You're welcome.

  • Quicksilver (cs)

    Ah and the wtf is that adults can blush because of toys for adults? Its as if they were a company full of teenagers and though of this as shameful needing handling by HR or other management.

  • boog (cs)
    Walking past one of the vacant offices, Alistair heard someone grumble, "No, you're putting it in wrong. Like that." A moment later there was a strained grunt followed by an "Ow!"
    Way to set the mood for the rest of the story. Well done.
  • boog (cs) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    When I would find some dirty stuff in the desk of a colleague I would just quietly tell him that he should better remove it. Telling the whole company about this before telling him is kind of a dick move.
    It certainly would be, but what about reporting it to Derek's supervisor and HR? Surely they aren't the whole company.

    Still, maybe Derek was a horrible programmer and Alistair was just tired of maintaining his code.

  • Spivonious (unregistered) in reply to Mikoangelo
    Mikoangelo:
    I believe you meant:
    After spending fifteen minutes in the restroom,
    washing his hands
    , Alistair called Derek's manager, Isabelle.

    LMAO

  • Rick (cs) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    When I would find some dirty stuff in the desk of a colleague I would just quietly tell him that he should better remove it. Telling the whole company about this before telling him is kind of a dick move.
    +1

    However, I would prefer that you not use a version of my first name in a derogatory context.

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