• (cs) in reply to Severus
    Severus:
    I had to look up "turkey baster".
    So did I. Which means select 'turkey baster' with the mouse, right click and 'Lookup "turkey baster" with Google'. But as soon as you get a left mouse button down event on 'turkey baster'... unsavoury things happen.
  • SeySayux (unregistered) in reply to Calvin
    Calvin:
    Belgium!

    (not spam, not even close, just an H2G2 reference for the creative redactions. now, mr filter, can I post?)

    Isn't that the country without a government?

    /me hears the sound of a million Chinese connections dropping.

  • (cs)

    This wouldn't happen to be Alistair Tube sock burn, would it?

  • (cs) in reply to mike
    mike:
    don't penalize the rest of us.

    Penal
    [image]

  • Chris (unregistered) in reply to Gern Blaanston
    Gern Blaanston:
    mike:
    don't penalize the rest of us.

    Penal
    [image]

    Hey, check out my penal colony.
  • (cs) in reply to Mikoangelo
    Mikoangelo:
    I believe you meant:
    After spending fifteen minutes in the restroom, 
    washing his hands
    , Alistair called Derek's manager, Isabelle.
    [image]
  • (cs)

    Obviously the words in fixed pitch don't fit (they were edited). You could blank out those words and then do madlibs.

  • Me (unregistered) in reply to Severity One

    "Derek, we found this bag in a drawer in your desk."

    "Really? I was never able to open that drawer, never had a key. Maybe it belongs to <VP Engineering>. He had that office before me."

  • Flabbergasterisk (unregistered)

    Let's get milk-faced and hum like rabbits!

  • (cs)

    So is Derek really Liz from "The Porn Guy" last week?

  • (cs) in reply to OzPeter
    OzPeter:
    Given that Derek was still a current employee during the move, the WTF is that the IT people were breaking open his desk - they should have called him and said "The draw to your old desk is locked. Is there anything in it that you want". As they did not do that, Derek should have complained to HR about his personal belongings being touched without his permission.
    What you dildo's don't realize is that everything in the company, especially the drawers, belong to the company. There is no "personal" space, and bringing sex paraphernalia to work is definitely not professional. The place for your kinky sex acts is at home, not at your desk after hours.
  • synp (unregistered) in reply to amischiefr

    No, you have an expectation of privacy in the bathroom, and in the drawer. The drawer is there to store private stuff while you're in the office.

    This is not to say that the company can't open your desk, especially your old desk, and they don't need a warrant, but doing that is weird and requires justification.

  • Patrick (unregistered) in reply to Aaaaaaa
    Aaaaaaa:
    I guess it really was *sunglasses-on* a "long, hard" move...

    YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH

    FTFY

  • (cs) in reply to mike
    mike:
    please don't butcher the articles in the future.
    Did you read the article? Or did you just read the censorship message at the top and stop to complain?

    Don't get me wrong; I hate censorship too. But this was as much a favor to people who read TheDailyWTF at work as it was a joke. Read it; in some cases the "clean" words (in this context) are as bad as the dirty words.

    Balloon animal? Sporting goods? Hot dog cart?

    Have you no imagination?

  • Daniel (unregistered) in reply to no2trolls
    no2trolls:
    He had it locked away, in a bag, in his desk. Why would any company have a policy about that? Not a WTF. Amusing anecdote perhaps but that's about it.

    Of course there's a WTF here; it's why the fu** didn't he just call derek in the first place.

    Might even get lucky, just had to keep that surprised look on his face.

  • (cs) in reply to Philipp
    Philipp:
    When I would find some dirty stuff in the desk of a colleague I would just quietly tell him that he should better remove it. Telling the whole company about this before telling him is kind of a dick move.

    LOL, I see what you did there.

  • Peter (unregistered) in reply to Kef Schecter
    Kef Schecter:
    Doesn't the company have a right to know? The rulebooks say "Do not do this." Not "don't do this, but if a coworker catches you before your boss does, it's OK."
    Apparently, the rulebooks don't say anything of the sort:
    The article:
    "According to Legal," Izzy explained, "there is no tube sock policy in the employee handbook. Apparently, you could store a wall-plug the size of your fist on your desk, and not get into any trouble."
  • (cs) in reply to trwtf
    trwtf:
    mike:
    please don't butcher the articles in the future.

    that was simply stupid.

    folks can read this after work if necessary.

    don't penalize the rest of us.

    Jesus Christ, it was part of the joke! Why the hell do people turn into morons as soon as they touch a computer? Are you foreign or just really slow?

    I think the mistake here is assuming it goes away when they leave the computer.

  • Anonymous (unregistered) in reply to synp
    synp:
    No, you have an expectation of privacy in the bathroom, and in the drawer. The drawer is there to store private stuff while you're in the office.

    This is not to say that the company can't open your desk, especially your old desk, and they don't need a warrant, but doing that is weird and requires justification.

    You may have an expectation of privacy but your expectations have no basis in reality. The simple fact of the matter is that your company own the drawer in your desk (sorry, their desk) and they are perfectly within their rights to open in whenever they want. I would expect a decent employer to respect their staff's privacy but it's not "weird" and it sure as hell doesn't require justification. Do you need to give me justification to open your fridge? Of course you don't, because it's your fridge.

    Bathrooms are a whole different subject that are covered by their own set of laws, for obvious reasons. You can't compare the shitter to your desk drawer and I have to wonder what the hell you've been doing in your drawer to come up with that comparison in the first place. On seconds thoughts, I really don't want to know...

  • (cs) in reply to synp
    synp:
    No, you have an expectation of privacy in the bathroom, and in the drawer. The drawer is there to store private stuff while you're in the office.
    Does it say that in your employee handbook? Or is that just how you assume the world works?

    Regardless, I understand the expectation of privacy. But seriously, if you have something you don't want others to see, don't keep it where others might see it. Especially not in a place shared with others that you leave unattended. I assume Derek had a car. Couldn't he have kept his bag of sporting goods in the trunk?

  • (cs) in reply to shadowman
    shadowman:
    trwtf:
    mike:
    please don't butcher the articles in the future.

    that was simply stupid.

    folks can read this after work if necessary.

    don't penalize the rest of us.

    Jesus Christ, it was part of the joke! Why the hell do people turn into morons as soon as they touch a computer? Are you foreign or just really slow?

    I think the mistake here is assuming it goes away when they leave the computer.

    Or that it wasn't there to begin with.

  • (cs) in reply to Anonymous
    Anonymous:
    synp:
    No, you have an expectation of privacy in the bathroom, and in the drawer. The drawer is there to store private stuff while you're in the office.

    This is not to say that the company can't open your desk, especially your old desk, and they don't need a warrant, but doing that is weird and requires justification.

    You may have an expectation of privacy but your expectations have no basis in reality. The simple fact of the matter is that your company own the drawer in your desk (sorry, their desk) and they are perfectly within their rights to open in whenever they want. I would expect a decent employer to respect their staff's privacy but it's not "weird" and it sure as hell doesn't require justification. Do you need to give me justification to open your fridge? Of course you don't, because it's your fridge.

    Bathrooms are a whole different subject that are covered by their own set of laws, for obvious reasons. You can't compare the shitter to your desk drawer and I have to wonder what the hell you've been doing in your drawer to come up with that comparison in the first place. On seconds thoughts, I really don't want to know...

    From the perspective of someone who's overseen office moves for major businesses, I can tell you that it's normal for the move instructions to say exactly what the state of play is. If desks/pedestals are not being moved, then it's normal to give people a deadline by which they must be emptied and to let them know that they must leave them unlocked and empty by then. If they don't, not only will locks be broken, but the users will be charged for doing so, and for fixing the damage. When you're moving a thousand users, you really hate the few dozen retards who don't clear their stuff away.

  • (cs)

    Also, your desk drawer is not private, in general. Anything inside an opaque, closed bag, on the other hand, is. (In the UK.)

  • (cs) in reply to synp
    synp:
    No, you have an expectation of privacy in the bathroom, and in the drawer. The drawer is there to store private stuff while you're in the office.

    This is not to say that the company can't open your desk, especially your old desk, and they don't need a warrant, but doing that is weird and requires justification.

    Yeah, it requires a BUSINESS justification. They were moving. That's all the justification they need.

  • (cs)

    TRWTF is using IT staff as your moving men.

  • (cs) in reply to boog
    boog:
    Couldn't he have kept his bag of sporting goods in the trunk?
    He would have, but his trunk was filled to the brim with milk at the time.
  • Darth [butcher] (unregistered)

    I havetenderized yourbeef loin. Pray I don't tenderize it any further.

  • Jose (unregistered)

    I saw the easter egg!

  • (cs) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    The place for your kinky sex acts is at home, not at your desk after hours.
    Not everyone waits until after hours. For example, judges.
  • Design Pattern (unregistered) in reply to hoodaticus
    hoodaticus:
    Yeah, it requires a BUSINESS justification. They were moving. That's all the justification they need.

    Not calling Derek to open and empty his drawer but 

    forking
    around with a 
    prybar
    has what BUSINESS justification?

  • dildo (unregistered) in reply to Nikonoel
    Nikonoel:
    Also, it makes it even harder to understand for non native english speakers. And less funny, even once I understood what it was all about.

    Everyone wants to be a policeman. Go be one, for fuck sake, if you want to, and quit policing what others type (goes for all sorts of media: blogs, email - you name it).

    My comment goes to site owner, and not to the author of the quote.

  • Design Pattern (unregistered) in reply to Design Pattern

    OK the real WTF is BBCode!

    The BBCode for is as concise as color=black;font-family:monospace.

    FAIL!
  • Ken B. (unregistered) in reply to by
    by:
    Nagesh:
    EJ_:
    Haha, dildo
    Dil = heart in hindi do = give.

    Dil do translate to "give your heart" as in "shower your affection"

    ... or sea-men...
    Jung'f ybat naq uneq, naq svyyrq jvgu frnzra?

    N fhoznevar.

  • Vlad Patryshev (unregistered)

    Big deal. You guys are obsessed with trivial things.

    1. Why not call Derec right away before prying into the desk?
    2. Whoever saw it, could just have kept his mouth shut.
    3. I applaud the decisions by HR and Legal not to take any actions on "party animals".
    4. Whoever thinks it is unacceptable to keep private stuff at work, they probably need some consulting.
    5. Stop being kids, eh.
  • Ken B. (unregistered) in reply to synp
    synp:
    No, you have an expectation of privacy in the bathroom, and in the drawer. The drawer is there to store private stuff while you're in the office.

    This is not to say that the company can't open your desk, especially your old desk, and they don't need a warrant, but doing that is weird and requires justification.

    It was his old desk, and anything left in it could be considered "abandoned". Also, given that everything left was being destroyed to prevent any "sensitive" data from being leaked, opening the desk to remove any paper/disks/whatever for proper disposal sounds "justified" to me.

  • Dave (unregistered)

    OMG Ponies!

  • Jason Ellis (unregistered) in reply to dildo
    dildo:
    Nikonoel:
    Also, it makes it even harder to understand for non native english speakers. And less funny, even once I understood what it was all about.

    Everyone wants to be a policeman. Go be one, for fuck sake, if you want to, and quit policing what others type (goes for all sorts of media: blogs, email - you name it).

    My comment goes to site owner, and not to the author of the quote.

    Nah mate, you are.

  • (cs) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    There is no "personal" space, and bringing sex paraphernalia to work is definitely not professional. The place for your kinky sex acts is at home, not at your desk after hours.

    Or worse... during business hours.

  • (cs) in reply to hoodaticus
    hoodaticus:
    TRWTF is using IT staff as your moving men.

    IT Staff are smarter and do a better job than moving men who break expensive equipment.

  • trwtf (unregistered) in reply to dildo
    dildo:
    Nikonoel:
    Also, it makes it even harder to understand for non native english speakers. And less funny, even once I understood what it was all about.

    Everyone wants to be a policeman. Go be one, for fuck sake, if you want to, and quit policing what others type (goes for all sorts of media: blogs, email - you name it).

    My comment goes to site owner, and not to the author of the quote.

    THE "POLICING" WAS A JOKE. A JOKE. HUMOR MOTHERFUCKER, LOOK IT UP. Jesus tap-dancing Christ, this is supposed to be an intelligent profession.

  • (cs) in reply to hoodaticus
    hoodaticus:
    TRWTF is using IT staff as your moving men.

    Agreed. Actually, if this story had a hint of truth, it would involve some guys from the local union threatening to move all of the stuff back, then getting a number of overtime hours equal to however long it took the IT staff to move everything.

  • (cs) in reply to Power Troll
    Power Troll:
    hoodaticus:
    TRWTF is using IT staff as your moving men.

    Agreed. Actually, if this story had a hint of truth, it would involve some guys from the local union threatening to move all of the stuff back, then getting a number of overtime hours equal to however long it took the IT staff to move everything.

    You have unions in #1 capitalistic country in the world. That is the true WTF.

  • ÃÆâ€â„ (unregistered) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    Power Troll:
    hoodaticus:
    TRWTF is using IT staff as your moving men.

    Agreed. Actually, if this story had a hint of truth, it would involve some guys from the local union threatening to move all of the stuff back, then getting a number of overtime hours equal to however long it took the IT staff to move everything.

    You have unions in #1 capitalistic country in the world. That is the true WTF.

    You are posing as me. That is TRWTF.

    Actually, the true WTF is TRWTF.

  • Goober McNutly (unregistered)

    See, this is why I don't work for Initec. Just knowing that there is nothing in the employee handbook about hot dog carts would almost compel me to put at least 3 or 4 of them in my work space. I don't know why, I feel like I have to.

  • (cs) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    Power Troll:
    hoodaticus:
    TRWTF is using IT staff as your moving men.

    Agreed. Actually, if this story had a hint of truth, it would involve some guys from the local union threatening to move all of the stuff back, then getting a number of overtime hours equal to however long it took the IT staff to move everything.

    You have unions in #1 capitalistic country in the world. That is the true WTF.

    What country are you talking about? China or Bhārata?

  • (cs) in reply to amischiefr
    amischiefr:
    What you dildo's don't realize is that everything in the company, especially the drawers, belong to the company. There is no "personal" space, and bringing sex paraphernalia to work is definitely not professional. The place for your kinky sex acts is at home, not at your desk after hours.
    Replace sex toys with medicine for a condition that you don't want to be made public, have that paraded around the company after someone breaks into your desk draw and then see what sort of lawsuits the company could face.
  • Robb (unregistered)

    So nobody got a Dexter vibe from the opaque black duct taped bag?

    I was relieved to read about its contents!

  • (cs) in reply to frits
    frits:
    Nagesh:
    Power Troll:
    hoodaticus:
    TRWTF is using IT staff as your moving men.

    Agreed. Actually, if this story had a hint of truth, it would involve some guys from the local union threatening to move all of the stuff back, then getting a number of overtime hours equal to however long it took the IT staff to move everything.

    You have unions in #1 capitalistic country in the world. That is the true WTF.

    What country are you talking about? China or Bhārata?

    America.

  • (cs) in reply to Nagesh
    Nagesh:
    Power Troll:
    hoodaticus:
    TRWTF is using IT staff as your moving men.

    Agreed. Actually, if this story had a hint of truth, it would involve some guys from the local union threatening to move all of the stuff back, then getting a number of overtime hours equal to however long it took the IT staff to move everything.

    You have unions in #1 capitalistic country in the world. That is the true WTF.

    Nah, I live in the U.S., not China. Unless you meant "capitalistic attitude" or something - even then, I'm not really sure.

  • (cs) in reply to OzPeter
    OzPeter:
    amischiefr:
    What you dildo's don't realize is that everything in the company, especially the drawers, belong to the company. There is no "personal" space, and bringing sex paraphernalia to work is definitely not professional. The place for your kinky sex acts is at home, not at your desk after hours.
    Replace sex toys with medicine for a condition that you don't want to be made public, have that paraded around the company after someone breaks into your desk draw and then see what sort of lawsuits the company could face.
    Paraded around the company? WTF are you talking about?

Leave a comment on “Toying Around”

Log In or post as a guest

Replying to comment #:

Log Out

« Return to Article