• (cs)

    Haggis is both hearty and traditional. It isn't served with Eggs, it's served with "Neeps and Tatties" (turnips and potatoes) and it is totally delicious.

    I'm not Scottish, I'm a soft southern English pansy, but I wont simply stand by and watch my neighbours' awesome cooking slandered in such a callous fashion.

    Also... I object to the way in which the article finished. Nowhere are Wales or Northern Ireland mentioned. They're not happy. Go on... make them happy.

  • Insourced (unregistered)

    Clearly a Canadian WTF, but with the place names changed to make it seem more like Scotland.

  • Insourced (unregistered) in reply to eViLegion

    It is also consumed deep fried as a sausage, or in disks like a Black pudding. what is weird is it 'tasted like' haggis and eggs. But it looked like something else? A bit weird.

  • Farrell (unregistered)

    Clearly written by someone who's A) never been to Scotland and B) never actually spoken with a Scottish person.

  • Anonymous (unregistered)

    Already happen to me, but the customer got mad for having to pay so much for so little work...

  • imgx64 (unregistered)

    I can't wait for the complementary story from Willie's IT Department.. "A consultant was paid 5 figures to tighten a serial cable because William wouldn't let us touch the fancy crypto stuff".

  • Sockatume (unregistered)

    Never do this accent again.

  • Migala (unregistered)

    This is why all support desks ask you to unplug the device, wait 15 minutes, and plug it back in. In most cases the problem magically disappears.

  • Sockatume (unregistered) in reply to Insourced

    Perhaps he picked up a scotch egg, but thought it was an orange? Far-fetched really, my efforts to introduce scotch eggs as a breakfast food have been in vain.

  • Anon (unregistered) in reply to Sockatume
    Sockatume:
    Perhaps he picked up a scotch egg, but thought it was an orange? Far-fetched really, my efforts to introduce scotch eggs as a breakfast food have been in vain.

    Of course, scotch eggs for breakfast! Sausage and egg combined into one handy portable package! Why has nobody thought of plugging scotch eggs for breakfast before!

    Sir, you are a genius.

  • Ska (unregistered) in reply to Insourced

    Black pudding is totally different to Haggis and shouldn't be mixed up. They are both delicious though!! and Yes I am a scotsman.

  • KJ (unregistered)

    The real WTF is: "Robert informed Willie what the charges would be for an emergency weekend visit and Willie agreed without hesitation." "Willie laid out big bucks for him to fly first class." - you wheel out the racist Scottish stereotypes, but don't mention the legendary parsimoniousness of the Scots?

    No, wait the real WTF is: “Achh, I’ve givin er all I can give! She willnut run any more" - is he Canadian?

    No, wait, the real WTF is: "Has a giant sea monster eaten your server?" - Loch Ness is a freshwater Loch.

    No, wait, the real WTF is: "Robert boarded his Saturday red-eye flight. [...] "The plane landed and Robert checked in to his four-star hotel, but hadn’t time to sleep." - Red-eye to into a Scottish airport on a Saturday morning from, presumably, France (or is it England)? Checking into the hotel before heading to the customer site, hoping for sleep? The timings of that make no sense!

    No, wait, the real WTF is: "He choked down the hotel’s “full breakfast”, which tasted more like haggis n’ eggs than the traditional, hearty meal he expected. " - Full Scottish breakfast is all the life-giving components of a Full English breakfast (sausage, bacon, eggs, etc) with the addition of, if you're lucky, a couple of slices of haggis/black pudding/white pudding. Maybe a tattie scone.

    No, wait, the real WTF is: "It’s ahbout time! Ah thought maybe ya’d fell in tha loch! C’mon in!" Ahbout? AhboUt!? Abowt! Surely even if Willie was Canadian, it'd be ABOOT!?

    No, wait, the real WTF is: No mention of kilts anywhere in the WTF.

  • Martay (unregistered)

    Easily the most racist article on WTF! It was clearly based on Willie from the Simpsons...

  • UK Anon (unregistered)

    This is a pretty horrendous piece of writing.

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to eViLegion
    eViLegion:
    Haggis is both hearty and traditional. It isn't served with Eggs
    It is when served as part of a scottish breakfast.
    eViLegion:
    it's served with "Neeps and Tatties" (turnips and potatoes) and it is totally delicious.
    You should try it with a Drambuie sauce once. Now that's what I call delicious! :-)

    The recipie is easy enough: get a satchet of white sauce mix and prepare according to the instructions given on the satchet. Only, you replace the water with Drambuie.

  • mophobiac (unregistered)

    When I get there and it's something small enough that I could have asked them to check if only I'd thought of it while still on the phone, I call it a fail.

    captcha: vindico

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to KJ
    KJ:
    No, wait, the real WTF is: "He choked down the hotel’s “full breakfast”, which tasted more like haggis n’ eggs than the traditional, hearty meal he expected. " - Full Scottish breakfast is all the life-giving components of a Full English breakfast (sausage, bacon, eggs, etc) with the addition of, if you're lucky, a couple of slices of haggis/black pudding/white pudding. Maybe a tattie scone.
    You forgot to mention the bowl of porridge with the customary dash of whisky! ;-)
  • Maciej (unregistered)

    Ah, TDWTF rule #1: whenever someone requests you to go several hundred miles overnight to fix their problem on site, it's always an unplugged cable or a switch turned off.

  • (cs)

    So a nothing story about a serial cable being loose turned into a racist dig at Scotland.

    We don't talk like that. Haggis is a single ingredient in a hearty Scottish breakfast. Lochs are out in the middle of nowhere. We are not all football (soccer) fans, and we are certainly not all football hooligans.

    Whoever wrote this still thinks Scotland (and presumably Ireland and Wales) are still living in the Braveheart era (Mel Gibson is Australian, by the way, just in case you also think he's representative of the Scots).

    Ignorant, pointless, insulting trash. There's enough genuinely good-humor on this site without having to produce shit like this.

  • faoileag (unregistered)
    Robert settled Willie down and asked the obligatory troubleshooting questions (Is it plugged in? Is it switched on? Was the crypto hardware unit connected properly? Has a giant sea monster eaten your server?) but to no avail.
    If you work for a company that secures its hardware with dongles, asking about the dongle should definitely be the next question after "Is it switched on?".

    Ok, Willie could be blamed for not checking the dongle itself.

    Then again, what he wants is a working crypto server and it is not really his business to check the security measures the company that supplies the server has applied to secure their business.

    If I were Willie, I would probably grind my teeth but fork out the money, because the contracts about getting the technician for an on site visit will be more or less watertight.

    But I also would a) complain to the company that the technician was not capable of resolving the problem of a loose dongle via telephone diagnostics, and b) investigate into competitors of the company supplying the crypto server.

    So, in my opinion Robert is the real WTF.

  • (cs) in reply to Martay
    Martay:
    Easily the most racist article on WTF! It was clearly based on Willie from the Simpsons...
    Yup - as someone who is based just North of Aberdeen I have to agree!
  • Maciej (unregistered) in reply to Martay
    Martay:
    Easily the most racist article on WTF!

    Eh, I'm guessing the genuinely good Indian programmers will disagree with you.

    All three of them.

  • Eire's stand by Scots (unregistered) in reply to skotl
    skotl:
    Ignorant, pointless, insulting trash. There's enough genuinely good-humor on this site without having to produce shit like this.

    Don't forget this lovely snippet from the source comments!

    article:
    in Scotland, 4-stars means there aren't any farm animals boarding there

    And by the way,

    Sockatume:
    Perhaps he picked up a scottish egg
    Scotch is a drink. Scottish is something of Scotland. /pedant
  • Joseph (unregistered)

    A friend of mine flew from Northern Europe to Southern Africa to put a DIMM back in a socket...

  • (cs)

    And why the fuck does "Charles feel like a British Monarch", because he travels from customer site to customer site?

    This Charles Robinson idiot has managed to provide two articles as far as I can find out; 1) A fascinating, hilarious and insightful finding that screen savers in the 90s could cost CPU cycles and 2) this racist rant of a non-story.

    And I lied about #1 being fascinating, hilarious or insightful.

    If this is the best this cretin can produce, then better to have no more from him.

    See here to roll about laughing http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/A-Fat-Pipe.aspx

  • Bitter Like Quinine (unregistered)

    So the WTF is that someone with a malfunctioning piece of equipment, who is told that it will require on-site service by the equipment's support staff and who needs it fixed urgently, paid for an emergency call out; and not that this "s***-hot jet-setting" support guy didn't even check for basic physical faults like a cable come loose in the original call?

    Well congratulations, Charles, on gouging a couple of thousand out of your client. But it does make me wonder if the reason you spent your time "bouncing from client-site to client-site, all across Europe" wasn't a little closer to home.

  • KJ (unregistered) in reply to Eire's stand by Scots
    Eire's stand by Scots:
    Scotch is a drink. Scottish is something of Scotland. /pedant
    In this case, a Scotch egg is actually a thing. It's a de-shelled boiled egg, wrapped in sausage meat and breadcrumbs, and deep fried. It was invented in England.
  • Len (unregistered) in reply to skotl

    Hey, don't pin Mel Gibson on us Aussies! He's a yank now, and they can keep him as far as we're concerned.

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to Eire's stand by Scots
    Eire's stand by Scots:
    And by the way,
    Sockatume:
    Perhaps he picked up a scotch egg
    Scotch is a drink. Scottish is something of Scotland. /pedant
    You are right, of course, but you do give me an interesting idea... ;-)
  • Jim (unregistered) in reply to Eire's stand by Scots
    Eire's stand by Scots:
    And by the way,
    Sockatume:
    Perhaps he picked up a scottish egg
    Scotch is a drink. Scottish is something of Scotland. /pedant

    Says who? Everywhere I've eaten them in England and Scotland they've been sold as scotch eggs. If you go into a shop and ask for a "scottish egg" you're likely to get a funny look.

    And exactly why do you think it's called "scotch" whisky? "Scotch" as a general term may have fallen out of favour but it is old-fashioned rather than offensive. "Jock", on the other hand....

  • Philip Newton (unregistered) in reply to Eire's stand by Scots
    Eire's stand by Scots:
    And by the way,
    Sockatume:
    Perhaps he picked up a scottish egg
    Scotch is a drink. Scottish is something of Scotland. /pedant
    Get things right if you're going to correct someone. As a noun, scotch is a drink -- short for scotch whisky.

    As an adjective, though, it can appliy to a variety of Scottish things: formerly fairly generally, now usually only to a few things such as Scotch mist, Scotch whisky, or - indeed - Scotch eggs.

    I daresay there's even a difference here, with "Scotch egg" being a single unit: a Scottish egg would be an egg laid by a hen in Scotland while a Scotch egg is specifically "a hard-boiled egg wrapped in sausage meat, coated in breadcrumbs and deep-fried." (Wikipedia)

    If you're going to pedant, make sure you've got the facts on your side.

  • Insourced (unregistered) in reply to faoileag
    KJ:
    You forgot to mention the bowl of porridge with the customary dash of whisky! ;-)

    I think that is something the hotel industry invented to seem more twee and appeal more to the alcoholic tourist sector.

  • Bob (unregistered) in reply to UK Anon

    I'm trying to work out if it's some sort of trolling attempt.

  • RFoxmich (unregistered)

    "..the whole United Kingdom was happy." Except Aberdeen which lost that weekend.

  • Jeebus (unregistered)
    Robert boarded his Saturday red-eye flight. Willie laid out big bucks for him to fly first class. As he enjoyed his warm nuts and hot towel, Robert began to wonder what might be wrong with Willie’s crypto setup.

    I like my nuts warm before a good trouble shooting session as well.

  • ZoomST (unregistered) in reply to skotl
    skotl:
    And why the f**k does "Charles feel like a British Monarch", because he travels from customer site to customer site?

    This Charles Robinson i***t ...

    Whoa! Relax a little. I'm not saying that Charles Robinson articles are great, but I'd prefer to ask him politely to decline any more offers of writing in TDWTF until he learns how to improve its writing skills and has better stories -- I'm sure people is giving nice ones in the forums. Just take my example: I don't write any story here because I'm bad at this. I think we had a good level of respect here, and is something we need to keep. Please.

  • (cs) in reply to ZoomST
    ZoomST:
    skotl:
    And why the f**k does "Charles feel like a British Monarch", because he travels from customer site to customer site?

    This Charles Robinson i***t ...

    Whoa! Relax a little. I'm not saying that Charles Robinson articles are great, but I'd prefer to ask him politely to decline any more offers of writing in TDWTF until he learns how to improve its writing skills and has better stories -- I'm sure people is giving nice ones in the forums. Just take my example: I don't write any story here because I'm bad at this. I think we had a good level of respect here, and is something we need to keep. Please.

    I see where you're coming from, but I disagree with you, I'm afraid. Charles didn't show a lot of respect to the people of Scotland with this article, and I don't recall seeing similar front-page authors get rewarded for taking the piss out of other nationalities or countries. I'm sorry if I've offended you, ZoomST, but this is the first time I've ever felt offended by something written on TDWTF, and there is a lot of near-the-knuckle stuff here.

  • (cs)
    “That willn’t do, laddy! I need this workin before I go to the Aberdeen football match on Sunday!”

    TRWTF. Nobody goes to those games.

  • (cs)

    One correction, my query should have read "Why the f**k does Robert feel like a British Monarch".

    Question still stands though - I don't see the point or relevance of that phrase.

  • (cs) in reply to skotl
    skotl:
    Ignorant, pointless, insulting trash. There's enough genuinely good-humor on this site without having to produce shit like this.
    At first, I also thought the use of cliches was a bit over the top, but after reading your reaction, I've changed my mind: a 100% accurate description of overconfident idiots.

    A racist dig you called it. Do consider Scots a race?

  • faoileag (unregistered) in reply to TGV
    TGV:
    A racist dig you called it. Do consider Scots a race?
    By Wikipedia standards (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_%28human_classification%29) they are:

    "Race is a classification system used to categorize humans into large and distinct populations or groups by anatomical, cultural, ethnic, genetic, geographical, historical, linguistic, religious, or social affiliation."

    Note the or near the end.

  • QJo (unregistered) in reply to skotl
    skotl:
    So a nothing story about a serial cable being loose turned into a racist dig at Scotland.

    We don't talk like that. Haggis is a single ingredient in a hearty Scottish breakfast. Lochs are out in the middle of nowhere. We are not all football (soccer) fans, and we are certainly not all football hooligans.

    Whoever wrote this still thinks Scotland (and presumably Ireland and Wales) are still living in the Braveheart era (Mel Gibson is Australian, by the way, just in case you also think he's representative of the Scots).

    Ignorant, pointless, insulting trash. There's enough genuinely good-humor on this site without having to produce shit like this.

    Och aye, a wee midgie musta crrawled up under yer sporran!

  • Andrew (unregistered)

    I see a lot of comments that the article is racist. To those guys: I don't think you know what racism really is.

    Racism is prejudice against someone because of their race. I know this because I live in a place where we deal with racism and hate amongst different peoples on a daily basis.

    An oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person is stereotype. It's easily recognizable (often in poor taste) and people should discard it just as easily. (Using stereotype to incite hate is a different matter entirely.)

    Do you really believe that the author is hateful against a people? Or just using a common stereotype?

  • frist (unregistered)

    A dull story stretched out over seven paragraphs of terrible writing. TRWTF: five minutes of my life I'll never get back.

  • Chuck Ritter (unregistered)

    This reminds me of a service call I made to a water filtration plant. The engineers were complaining that the numeric keypad was not working to enter numbers on the HMI (Human Machine Interface -- basically a computer that provides an interface to the PLCs that run the actual machinery).

    I walked in, tapped the NumLock key, said, "Try it now," and went home. Unfortunately for me, it was only a 90-minute (each way) roadtrip, no hotel, no first-class flight. As such, it only ran up to a few hundred dollars.

  • Treble C++ (unregistered) in reply to Len
    Len:
    Hey, don't pin Mel Gibson on us Aussies! He's a yank now, and they can keep him as far as we're concerned.

    He was a yank before he moved to Aus.

  • foo (unregistered) in reply to skotl
    skotl:
    One correction, my query should have read "Why the f**k does Robert feel like a British Monarch".

    Question still stands though - I don't see the point or relevance of that phrase.

    So tell us, smart guy, which British cliche would you have used in its place?

  • foo (unregistered) in reply to Chuck Ritter
    Chuck Ritter:
    This reminds me of a service call I made to a water filtration plant. The engineers were complaining that the numeric keypad was not working to enter numbers on the HMI (Human Machine Interface -- basically a computer that provides an interface to the PLCs that run the actual machinery).

    I walked in, tapped the NumLock key, said, "Try it now," and went home. Unfortunately for me, it was only a 90-minute (each way) roadtrip, no hotel, no first-class flight. As such, it only ran up to a few hundred dollars.

    Oh, so you had on of those phones that filtered out words like "check" and "NumLock"?
  • (cs) in reply to Insourced
    Insourced:
    It is also consumed deep fried as a sausage, [..]
    Yes, but isn't it so that you can deep-fry any Scottish dish? After all, they invented the deep-fried Mars bar and reportedly have one of the highest incidences of heart disease world-wide.

    You can have a decent meal in Britain; just make sure that the owners originate from outside Britain. There's a rather nice Italian restaurant just off Oxford Street, but I ordered in Italian, so go figure.

  • (cs) in reply to frist
    frist:
    TRWTF: five minutes of my life I'll never get back.
    Could have been worse: you could have had to fly to Scotland on a Saturday morning and have breakfast there.

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