Alex Papadimoulis

Founder, The Daily WTF

Aug 2008

Assembles Elucidation

by in Error'd on

"This is the 'user manual' that came with a USB drive caddy I bought a little while ago," Adny H wrote, "I'm so glad to have it since my previous removable drive wasn't so good with my machine plank, no matter how I conjunctioned the hard dish."


When In Doubt, Choose "C"

by in Feature Articles on

“Wait a sec,” the Edutron Systems rep interrupted, cutting off the principal of River City High, “your students still use pencils and paper to take exams!?” The rep insincerely chuckled, adding “don’t tell me you’re still using slide rules to teach arithmetic!”

As shifty as the sales rep was, he did have a good point. It was 1993, after all, and the information superhighway was on the verge of explosive growth. If the principal knew one thing, it was that he – and most certainly, his students – did not want to be left in the dust. And if nothing else, Edutron Systems could help point River City High towards the onramp.


It Depends & Too Good To Be True

by in Tales from the Interview on

It Depends (from David)

Several years back, a "small startup on the verge of explosive growth" emailed me back after I had sent over my resume. They were interested in an interview. I went there, and their "office" was an old house in some shady downtown neighborhood that had four home-built computers jumbled together on an improvised table in the dining room with two guys in wooden chairs sitting around it. For a startup, I didn't think it was that bad, as many start up that way.


SUSBSTITUTE_CODE

by in CodeSOD on

"Not too long after starting at my new job," Franc wrote, "I came across a rather unique way of noting what code needed to be fixed."

"This was the message came up when I went to build."


Whoops!

by in Error'd on

"This web design company should try and be a little more careful with their screenshots," writes Jeremy, "especially when advertising such quality icons like their Divine Mother icon."


(full-sized image)


It's Just a Truck

by in Best of the Sidebar on

Originally posted on the sidebar by "North Bus"...

Having just graduated with an electronics engineering Masters degree, I have been interviewing for jobs in my field from coast to coast. The most interesting interview so far, however, was actually from a major defense contractor...


Unix? With QuikBill?!

by in Feature Articles on

“I’ve got an interesting little project for you,” Simon’s boss said as he stopped by Simon’s cubicle. He dropped a several-page document on desk and continued, “take a look at this letter we just got from EBS. We’d better jump on this soon.”

Dear Vendor,

As I’m sure you’re aware, our primary focus at Enterprise Business 
Systems is to enable our clients to formulate key objectives through 
strategic initiatives to develop a comprehensive strategy that will 
provide the critical foundation for creating a proactive, synergy
-driven directive for utilizing technological approaches to achieve 
cross-departmental   -- snip --

As such, beginning October 1, 1993, all vendors must submit invoices 
electronically through EBS QuikBill™, the latest in our suite of EDI 
products. Invoices not received in this manner will be discounted 2% 
and extended 60-90 days. Please contact your procurement officer 
immediately to get set up with EBS QuikBill™.

Sincerely,
Accounts Payable
Enterprise Business Systems

Error Error Everywhere

by in Error'd on

I have no idea how this happened," Barkin wrote, "but this is what greeted me when I came back from lunch one day on my dual-monitor Windows machine."


(full-size image, makes a great desktop background)


Deleted Software

by in Error'd on

At the top of the must-peruse list at Walmart – right after the bargain DVD bin – is the bargain software bin. There’s all kind of straight-to-jewel-case classics like “Slumber Party Su-Doku 3D,” “Microsoft Word ’98 Tutor,” and “Terror: Alpha Zero Midnight.”

Eric Brandel’s Walmart in Texas apparently took this one step further. Below the bargain bin is the worst of the worst: Deleted Software, which you shouldn’t even bother installing in the first place.


pider Detection

by in CodeSOD on

"I came across this snippet in our header file," wrote David, "it's a basic webspider detector that is used later on to record certain actions differently if $is_spider was set to 1."

"Rather than check the difference between 0 and FALSE (or use a more appropriate function), the original developer just dropped the first letter of each crawler name so that strpos doesn't return 0."


Poor Bananas

by in Error'd on

"Awww," Jay wrote, "those poor bananas."


A Barely Accessible System

by in Feature Articles on

Calculating the true cost of downtime is almost impossible. There's not only the obvious loss of labor to consider, but all sorts of indirect losses like missed opportunity, repair expenses, customer frustration and so on. Fortunately for Eric M.'s company, the management knows exactly how many real dollars it will cost them when their system -- "MCL," as I'll call it -- goes down. Eric's employer is a logistics service provider with a sole customer: a major U.S. automaker. His company is primarily responsible for getting the right auto parts to the right areas in the right plants, on time. Any unexpected delay or shipment error and the entire assembly line can shut down -- and when that happens, the service provider gets to foot the bill to the tune of $5,000 per minute.

To manage this mission-critical distribution operation, the logistics service provider trusts MCL. The MCL system is also responsible for running the rest of the company's mission-critical operations. As each of the 500-per-day trucks pull up to the company's massive warehouse with inbound material, MCL tracks and directs them to one of the 200 or so loading docks. Similarly, when the 300 or so crates on the trucks come in, their order number is scanned and the contents moved.


Are You Sure?

by in CodeSOD on

"There was a minor bug in one of my company's applications," Craig M wrote, "for whatever reason, it just hung after the 'Are you sure?' prompt."

"In an attempt to try and track down the problem, I popped my head into our UserInput class to ensure that the code was correctly validating the input. That's when I came across this..."


More Entropy, Please

by in CodeSOD on

As we learned in Random Stupidity, developers don't really trust rand(), random(), Random.GetNext(), etc. Nor should they. The documentation, after all, clearly states that the function "generates a pseudo-random number." That's right, pseudo. Who wants pseudo?

The neat thing about pseudo-randomness is that, if you think about it -- and you don't think too much about it -- you can actually generate a real random number by pseudo-randomizing a pseudo-randomizer a pseudo-random number of times. It's kind like how two wrongs (either wrongly done for the right reason or rightly done for the wrong reason) make a right. Really, it's simple math.


Makin' It Fit

by in Souvenir Potpourri on

Ever since the first Free Sticker Week ended back in February '07, I've been sending out WTF Stickers to anyone that mailed me a SASE or a small souvenir. Nothing specific; per the instructions page, "anything will do." Well, here goes anything, yet again! (previous: Survival Edition).


"I work in a moped shop," Jeremy J Starcher (Tallmadge, OH) wrote, "and we, too, see our share of unexplainable things. A customer brought in a bike that had the wrong spark plug. REALLY the wrong plug. It didn't fit in the hole, so they used a series of spacers to "pad it out" about where the plug should be. The larger plug is included so you can see the difference."


Please Drive Thru

by in Error'd on

"I took this picture from my cell phone at the Wendy's drive-thru," Chris Jones noted. "Somehow, the total still came out correct."


Sampo Uh-Oh

by in Feature Articles on

Over the course of 100-plus years, Sampo Bank had grown into one of the largest banks in Finland. Since its founding in 1887, Sampo stayed ahead of the technology curve, introducing the first modern payment system -- the postal giro -- in 1939, becoming Finland's first adopter of IBM's "electronic brain" in 1958, and amassing nearly one million users of its online banking service by 2006.

But alas, in today's acquire-or-be-acquired world, Sampo was swallowed up by Denmark giant Danske Bank. On Nov. 9, 2006, Danske announced not only the acquisition, but that it would integrate all IT platforms -- online banking, merchant processing, account management and so on -- in 1 year, 4 months and 15 days, by Easter weekend of 2008. And come hell or high water, they would meet that date.


Traffic Enfarcement Camera

by in Error'd on

I’m not a fan of traffic enforcement cameras, especially as they're implemented here in Ohio and other states. There’s just something that seems a bit off about turning a criminal infraction into a “civil violation” so that some company can issue, process, and offer even offer an administrative “appeal procedure” for these violations, all while getting a large cut of each one.

Of course, maybe I’m just a bit too cynical about this. After all, proponents say that cameras keep us safe and that the millions of dollars in extra revenue is just gravy. Besides, computer systems don’t lie and there are always trusted personnel issuing these violations to ensure that justice is served… right?


Please Think Twice

by in CodeSOD on

"While reviewing some of our older code," Rob Jacobs wrote, "I stumbled upon this."

// NOTE: Please think twice before changing the next line of code ;-D
// Store float binary in char array
*((unsigned int*)(&x[4])) = *((unsigned int*)(&value)); 

Follow-up: Redirection with Smoke And ... Smoking

by in Feature Articles on

Back in August of 2006, I published Redirection with Smoke And ... Smoking. Among other things, the article described what the experience was like for visitors to Marlboro.com:

If you were using something other than Internet Explorer, you likely experienced a familiar sight: a blank page as a result of the site being coded for IE only. In and of it self, that's not too big of a deal, even for #20 on the Fortune 500 List, Altria.

The fun part, however, was why Marlboro.com only worked in IE. To redirect visitors to actual content, they programmatically set the HREF property of a hyperlink on the page and then executed the (IE-Only) click() method on that hyperlink. That meant a noticible redirect for Internet Explorer and a dead page for everyone else.