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Jun 07Eh, Don't Worry About It
by in Feature Articles on 2007-07-31
The chemistry department is always one of the coolest places on any college campus. It's a place where students show up to class, and rather than getting boring instruction or lectures, their mad scientist professors mix chemicals together and cackle over a boiling beaker of awesome radness in front of the class. The rooms are adorned with exposed metal prongs with arcing electricity, torches, and fog machines. I should note that I didn't take chemistry in college, but this is what I'm pretty sure chemistry classrooms look like.
About 10 years ago, Bowie P. managed to score a job at his university's Department of Chemistry. It was awesome, too. He was given keys to the building, 24 hour access to all the francium he could dream of, and his job had him working between two buildings full of people he actually liked. Plus, just from reading the labels on doors in the buildings, he learned fun words like "photoelectronspectroscopy," "postneuroelectrondefenestration," and "floccinaucinihiliblackmetalipilificationbicarbonateblutausnord."
The military trains you to be a machine. You will carry out your orders and you will love it, and you will not complain, private! Even if it's something you wouldn't do in a million years otherwise!
When Eve was tempted by the serpent and ate from the tree of knowledge, God was furious. In spite of his omniscience, God didn't find out that Eve had screwed up until he found Adam and Eve holding leaves and squirrels in front of their swimsuit areas in shame. Still, it was a failure of security on God's part — the tree was just sitting there, waiting for its fruit to be eaten.
It was Ted’s first week on the job. He was brought in to replace another manager that had disappeared on “medical leave.” Although Ted suspected his predecessor had left or had been asked to leave for different reasons, he ignored it along with his initial instinct to flee. 
Working for the US government can be a beautiful thing, especially if you manage to land a good position, like Sr. Developer or President. Even if you're a contractor, government jobs tend to pay well and are good for the resume. Like any organization, though, there are a lot of policies and procedures that need to be followed.
As a freelance web developer, Erik finds himself doing all sorts of odd jobs. Fixing up an Access application here, installing a firewall there – he’ll gladly help his clients out with whatever they need, so long as they’re paying and he’s comfortable doing it. 
Like many industries, IT has its share of charlatans. These people think they know what they're talking about, or don't know what they're talking about and fake it. This is because the business isn't aware of what it takes to make software; like a hospital's reception clerk isn't aware of how surgery works. But if a surgeon emerged from the operation room, soaked in blood, cursing the failure of Mr. Fairfax's operation to reconnect his hoozlevalve to the beppobone, some eyebrows would be raised.
When most people think of insurance companies, they picture boring, stuffy old buildings filled with bland leather chairs and humorless, pencil-necked guys in suits. And, in general, that tends not to be far from the truth.